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Thread: Is it hard to approach a girl?

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    StrayStripper
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    Default Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I'm really serious. It seems that customers in general have a hard time asking me to come over even if they do have the balls to tip me at the stage. Usually the tip is $1. $1 tends to mean "I like you, but I'm having a nice time sitting by myself or with my friends and I don't want naked entertainment."

    If I get a $1 without instructions, I say thank you and that's it. I work in a big club and will not know where you are sitting unless you tell me. Even if I worked in a small club and had multiple tippers, I approach the biggest tippers first (money buys time) ... unless instructed otherwise. If a customer asks for a dance at my stage and tells me where he is sitting, yes, yes, I will go over.

    It seems that every night a customer will say that he really wanted to spend time with me but I never got around to his table. How was I supposed to know? Are men really this shy?

  2. #2
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Well...one of the reasons people go to strip clubs is to be approached, instead of doing the approaching. It's part fantasy, part I don't wanna go up to the hot girl...

  3. #3
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I think alot of men want to be approached rather than approach you. I don't think it is shyness as much as it is part of the whole fantasy that we approach them. I have a feeling tho that sometimes at the end of the night when these guys are like "Where have you been all night? I would have spent sooo much on you if you came over earlier", that they are full of BS. They have seen me on stage, doing laps, whatev. but didn't get MY attention. I think they just want to make me feel like I missed out and they were a big deal.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I wish the guys would approach us instead of making us play the guessing game. You would think too that it would eliminate for him the awkwardness of having a girl he doesn't find attractive sitting with him.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Sometimes I just sit at the bar at rhino by myself and wait for a guy to approach me. It does work, and they usually are VIP customers, business men that are real go-getters...they like asking for what they want, and getting it.

    However, the bar is set up (I like the back bar best for this or the rhino room bar, if it's busy busy) so that it is sort of a focal point in the room, so guys will see you. If the bar was in the back of the club this wouldn't work lol
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


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    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Yeah, I've gotten that, too. It's irritating, but I think zxcire is right. the fantasy is for the girls to WANT you.

    However, it would be better if they guys let you know onstage, 'Come see me over here when you get off stage and I'll buy you a drink' or SOMETHING! I can't read minds. And I can't begin to tell you how many guys have come to tip but refuse to spend any real money, so it makes it difficult!

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    It seems that every night a customer will say that he really wanted to spend time with me but I never got around to his table. How was I supposed to know? Are men really this shy?
    Just read some of the threads further down in this forum and you may have your answer. Amongst the bizarre (and often wrong) generalizations a lot of customers make while in a SC, is the one where they think dancers have the magical power of ESP, and that leaving a subtle tip suggesting interest is going to guarantee that gal reading the hint correctly.


    I too prefer dancers to be "fantasy girls" and take the initiative, but thats apparently not the majority sentiment in my parts, so to a great degree the ladies around here have toned down, if not shut down their hustle because they get so many rejections (although half the guys in the clubs here can't afford a LD in the first place).

    So when I do want a dance, I'm pretty much resigned to doing the asking myself. The thing is, once I got used to that method, I began to see the advantages of it, almost to point where I prefer it now. And no, I don't rely on hints and expect a gal to "get it". In a darkened room, with noise, alcohol and other distractions that leaves too much margin for error. I just wish more guys who complain about dancers ignoring them understood that.

    I also wish more dancers would realize that when they say or nod "yes" after I ask them "Are you free for dances when you're done?" I sort of expect them to come over in a reasonable amount of time, or just come over period.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I am the exact opposite. I don't like to be hustled or asked. I do the asking.

    A lot of guys seem to literally be shy/afraid, but some have said they like to be approached. It's funny, because in the real world I like to be approached too, it is a nice ego stroke, but in the club I just don't get any sense of ego out of it. There is just nothing special about a dancer asking you do you want a dance anymore than there is a waitress asking if you want a drink.

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    Veteran Member slims099's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    I'm really serious. It seems that customers in general have a hard time asking me to come over even if they do have the balls to tip me at the stage. Usually the tip is $1. $1 tends to mean "I like you, but I'm having a nice time sitting by myself or with my friends and I don't want naked entertainment."

    If I get a $1 without instructions, I say thank you and that's it. I work in a big club and will not know where you are sitting unless you tell me. Even if I worked in a small club and had multiple tippers, I approach the biggest tippers first (money buys time) ... unless instructed otherwise. If a customer asks for a dance at my stage and tells me where he is sitting, yes, yes, I will go over.

    It seems that every night a customer will say that he really wanted to spend time with me but I never got around to his table. How was I supposed to know? Are men really this shy?
    They obviously should have told you when he tipped you and instructed you where to go like you said, that is odd. I always see guys pointing and directing girls they like to come over and see them. Some guys are shy but mostly I think guys want the girl to approach them. I'm over that whole fantasy thing since I've been going for several years and realize the name of the game, but sometimes I still want that special girl to approach me.

    I think there's lots of nuances guys go through in their mind to decide whether he wants to spend money on the girl or not. It's always about money IMO. "Man I've only got $200", should I spend it on her or her.

    Guys are shy for sure, but also they want you to come up and meet them, sort of fantasizing about it. We're fuckin WEIRD!
    Man oh man, what a trip it's been.

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    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    i used to just tip and complement the dancer if I wanted a dance, but that is too hit or miss. So, if a dancer is smoking hot, I'll just ask her to come over and dance for me.

    Of course, if I just tip you, I'd still probably get a dance from you if you came over, but I wouldn't be waiting on you. Many dancers will come over after just a $1 tip.

    That's why if I'm not interested in getting dances from a girl, I won't go up to tip at the stage. Too many of them will come over, and you can't get rid of them.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasPrincess View Post
    Sometimes I just sit at the bar at rhino by myself and wait for a guy to approach me. It does work, and they usually are VIP customers, business men that are real go-getters...they like asking for what they want, and getting it.

    However, the bar is set up (I like the back bar best for this or the rhino room bar, if it's busy busy) so that it is sort of a focal point in the room, so guys will see you. If the bar was in the back of the club this wouldn't work lol
    sometimes i stand in front of the lap dance area and guys come over and ask for a dance.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    ^^Hmmm...good strategy! They are already worked up from the other girl that they may just want to continue that good feeling with you. I'm going to try that this weekend!

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    A dancer by herself facing the room? Not really.

    A dancer-cluster (even if not talking amongst themselves), or a dancer playing video poker (or in some other way "closed off" to the room). Sorta. Enough so that I never have approached a dancer in that situation.

    EDIT: Forgot to add that I'm unusually shy about that sort of thing, so digest the above with a large grain of salt, or just the whole packet.
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    Veteran Member jannisary's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I used to be shy about asking for dances. The fantasy of being approached by beautiful women is very charming too. Plus there's just something fun and invigorating about getting chatted up by a dancer who is good at her hustle. Doc summed up my views in his post. I will not approach dancers who are sitting in a group. If she's at the bar, playing the video poker machine, sitting alone; then I'm more likely to approach. A lot of times I just ask while tipping at her stage, I try to be very specific and indicate where I'll be when she comes off stage.

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    Veteran Member Lapaholic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    A dancer by herself facing the room? Not really.

    A dancer-cluster (even if not talking amongst themselves), or a dancer playing video poker (or in some other way "closed off" to the room). Sorta. Enough so that I never have approached a dancer in that situation.

    EDIT: Forgot to add that I'm unusually shy about that sort of thing, so digest the above with a large grain of salt, or just the whole packet.
    LOL lestat - i feel the same way about the video poker dancer. Is she on break, bored out of her mind or jut not wanting to be bothered? I never know what to do in that case - so I let the VPD be...

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Much like when I'm shopping, I don't want to be hustled. If I want a dance from a chick, I have zero problems approaching her at the rail, on the floor or wherever she's standing. I'll even approach her if I'm being fuckoed by some wannabe gangsta who doesn't think it's cool to get dances.

    I just don't understand these guys that expect dancers to know they want a dance. How do these guys deal with women OTC?
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I will approach or tip at the stage and specifically tell the dancer to come see me when she's done.

    However, I'm never sure if I should approach if there's a group of girls sitting at the bar. I will approach if it's just 2-girls talking. Although the one I hate is the girl might be sitting on some PL's lap just talking for 15-20 mins and I just never know what I should do. In fact it's happened where she was literally sitting next to me on some guy's lap and I didn't want to keep looking over at her.

    One time, I point a dancer out (who was talking to some other custy) to a waitress and asked the waitress to ask the dancer to join me. The dancer told me that she'd be back as soon as she was done with the custy, but never did come back and I waited like 45-mins. That was a $10 tip down the drain.

    And the ultimate weird one is I got a dance on the floor from someone and when she finished, I asked about doing a 3-$100 set, but I told her let's take a song or 2-break and then we can go to the VIP area. I must have not been clear or she didn't hear me; she gets up to go somewhere and never came back. I waited for like 15-20 mins too. Hmmm maybe I smelled that night.

  18. #18
    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Am I weird for thinking much of this communication can be - and is a bit sexier when done - done via eye contact? That way the guy can let a dancer know - via eye contact, smiles, etc. - that he wants a dance without actually doing the asking, thus keeping both the fantasy of being asked by the woman, but still getting the attention of the girl he wants a dance from most? (in my little mental world here the dancer sees the smile and comes over to ask about dances).

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by OdysseusNJ View Post
    Am I weird for thinking much of this communication can be - and is a bit sexier when done - done via eye contact?
    Yeah....when it works. Problem often is that our eyes don't have 360 degree ability, not to mention the fact that when an attractive woman walks through a room there are likely several pairs of eyes focused on her, some of which may belong to people interested in dances, others whom may be just admiring the scenery. So with no other information than that, which set of eyes does a gal choose?

    Sorry guys, but the reality of things is that if you rely on hints that you're interested, you're taking a crap shoot, particularly if you're hints aren't any more noteworthy than that of the guy at the next table, and especially if they're less noteworthy of a regular customer who has caught your dancer's gaze.

    The way I see it, you can insist on your fantasy, and walk away disappointed x times out of ten, or you can do a little legwork and have your fantasy.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  20. #20
    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    Yeah....when it works. Problem often is that our eyes don't have 360 degree ability, not to mention the fact that when an attractive woman walks through a room there are likely several pairs of eyes focused on her, some of which may belong to people interested in dances, others whom may be just admiring the scenery. So with no other information than that, which set of eyes does a gal choose?
    If she's hustling she chooses all of them, asking each until one of them says yes to a dance. And when she's done with that one she picks up where she left off. Tough luck for you if many are buying and you happen to be at the end of the line, and tough luck for her if she's wasting a lot time on guys who aren't going to buy (or in the dressing room) and thus misses the ones who are.

    Also "eye contact" does not equal "eyes focused on her". I was simply suggesting that with deliberate eye contact and facial expression you can probably get a dancer's attention if you have basic social skills. I agree this is harder if it's crowded. I tend to go when it's less crowded and I don't go all that often so this probably affects my approach. I also don't buy tons of dances.

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    Sorry guys, but the reality of things is that if you rely on hints that you're interested, you're taking a crap shoot, particularly if you're hints aren't any more noteworthy than that of the guy at the next table, and especially if they're less noteworthy of a regular customer who has caught your dancer's gaze.

    The way I see it, you can insist on your fantasy, and walk away disappointed x times out of ten, or you can do a little legwork and have your fantasy.
    "Insist"? Eh, if it's that busy or whatever and I walk out without a dance because some other dude had better eye contact, who cares? No biggie. More singles to spend or more in my pocket for the next time. I've asked for dances before when I felt like it but I don't make myself do it.

    I see why the girls here turn things into a science - it's their income - but why the guys? Really, as a customer what's wrong with just relaxing, having a good time, not stressing it too much? "Taking a crap shoot"? I don't know, that sounds too competitive for how I want to feel at a club!

    Many of us probably go to the club for different reasons though, I think there was a poll about that or something. Anyway it sounded like the OP was just trying to get some viewpoints from custies on asking for dances, now she has both yours and mine. And I'll readily admit that if you spend more at the club than I do (quite possible, I don't know your habits) then your opinion is probably more useful to her!

    BTW Catfish your sig is hilarious!

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    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Some guys are that shy.

    People new to a strip club do not know how many customers a dancer runs across in a given hour or how distracted she can be, so there is an unreasonable expectation that the dancer will remember whomever tips her on stage.

    Also, there is an unreasonable expectation that each dancer will come up to each and every customer, eventually, before the ned of the evening.
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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by OdysseusNJ View Post
    If she's hustling she chooses all of them, asking each until one of them says yes to a dance. And when she's done with that one she picks up where she left off. Tough luck for you if many are buying and you happen to be at the end of the line, and tough luck for her if she's wasting a lot time on guys who aren't going to buy (or in the dressing room) and thus misses the ones who are.

    Umm, so why not increase the chances of putting oneself at the front of the line by explicitly asking before this whole inefficient "eye contact" ritual has to even take place? Not only is it considerably more effective, but dancers love it when you've saved them some hustle time, and for them, time is money.

    I suppose if you don't want the dance that badly, your approach will be fine, but I assumed that the guy the OP is telling us about did. In that case, leaving things to chance would be rather foolish. Strippers aren't mind readers.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Senior Member GeorgeBailey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    I have no trouble asking a dancer at the stage to come sit with me or do a dance. I've even approached dancers offstage on occasion.

    However, ladies, please don't say you're going to come by if you don't plan to. I understand that you may have several customers queued up; it's the way the business works. Just tell me. It really makes me look like a jerk when I've turned other girls away because supposedly I'm waiting on you, and you never show up.

    This behavior discourages me (and I'm sure others) from asking for dances from you at the stage; we'd rather just take a chance that based on the tip you'll come by and visit if you can.

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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Hello first post for me.

    My wife and I went to a couple clubs for the first time the last couple of weekends and we never had any problems with girls coming over. I did feel bad because a couple of the girls that came over we're friendly but just not our type so its like no I don't want a dance and then I kinda felt bad when we got a dance from a different girl.

    The other wierd thing(maybe or maybe not) was that the first girl took both of us for a 2fer and she danced with my wife first, my wife told her to dance with me about halfway through the first song and the girl just got real nervous dancing for me. there was touching, nothing that was really what people call touching probably, legs, belly, neck and the whole time she kept watching my wife. SHe looked at me a couple times but it was like she was afraid my wife was gonna flip out.

    Then my wife went to the bathroom and when she was gone the same girl came over and kissed my neck.. I was like, that was nice but why all nervous. THen she jetted before my wife came back.

    the second girl i got a dance from was a dance for me not my wife and the girl asked my wife if there was anything she couldn't do. My wife was no do what you want to him. That girl was not nervous..

    is there a reason or is it just the obvious reason of the girl being nervous about my wife being there?

  25. #25
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Is it hard to approach a girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by OhioCouple View Post

    is there a reason or is it just the obvious reason of the girl being nervous about my wife being there?
    Some wives/girlfriends/SOs freak out when they actually see another woman giving their man attention. Like it's okay in theory but they can't handle it in reality. So a lot of dancers are hesitant to give a normal dance to a guy in front of the SO because bad things can happen.

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