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Thread: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

  1. #1
    cameron_keys
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    Default Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    I have compiled a list of Q and A to start out with. I have removed any personal details like names...please let me know if there is anything on here you do NOT wnat me to use on my new site.


    Thanks all!!!


    OK here's one for you.

    I am an artist, but I haven't drawn anything except a few architectural perspectives and plans for about 2 years now.

    What I really want to do is start drawing pinup style art. I have done this a couple times in the past and it turned out really well. And I have done about 4-5 portraits that turned out well, too. The thing is, I don't like drawing pictures from magazines, I much prefer drawing pictures of people I know.

    I can work from photographs much easier than having someone pose, that's not a problem.

    I would love to draw some of the women I work with, but when I have mentioned it, I often get the impression they are then confusing me with the usual customer/perv DJ type of guy who just wants to see naked women. Nothing could be more repugnant to me, and it doesn't help when it comes to tip time to be mistaken for a perv, either, lol.

    Or they might not think it's weird, but they just never bring in any photographs.

    Any idea how I can bring this up and get better cooperation?

    Try posting something in the dressing room so it doesn’t seem like you are targeting (and such perving on) certain individuals. State that you are an artist and would love it if some of the girls had pics you could use as inspiration. Maybe even put up samples of things you have done in the past so they know what it is you are looking for and that you are actually planning (and capable) of turning the pics into art...and not just jacking off to them at home!LOL!



    My ex and I have been hanging out frequently, and might be getting back together. This weekend, we made sweet love twice. I say making love, because that's the type of sex it was, versus hardcore fucking. However, when I really got going, I was thinking of another man. This is a man I work with whom I have sex with occasionally. My ex is much more well endowed than this guy, and a superior lover.

    How come I can't stop thinking of my coworker during sex, and why is it the thing that gets me "there"? What can I do do remedy this, or is it a sign that we shouldn't get back together. The coworker and I do not have a romantic relationship and never will.

    Confused Unfilled Needy Titillated

    What is it about the co-worker that stops you from having a relationship with him? Is there no chemistry between you except in bed? Does the ex know about this other guy?
    If there’s no chance for a a relationship with co-worker and ex does not know...my guess would be that its the "naughty" aspect of it that titillates you. You have (from what I know of you) lived a hard and fast party life for quite some time. The thought of being happy (even in bed) with something calmer may terrify you..even on a subconscious level. You may want it..but you are psyching yourself out of giving into it completely. And going back to what you know best (the naughty boy) in your head gives you "permission" to come...its safe...there’s nothing else but an orgasm you have to commit to there.

    Ok, I'll take the bait....

    heres one issue that I have been thinking of for a few years now, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue.

    I just do not like my sister-in-law. yes shes a nice person, smart, caring, etc, great for my brother, but, something about her just rubs me the wrong way. It as if she comes across as being disingenuous when you see her.

    Granted everyone in my immediate family likes her, for some reason i can't get over this little issue. I have thought about, and maybe because its an outsider coming into the family, and honestly, I do not think that is the issue as its more or less her personality, not the fact that she is now part of the family.

    Just something I cannot place, please help me!

    Is this the first or only in-law you have? Therefore the only one to "take away" a family member? Were/are you close to your brother? It could be that there is something about her that IS wrong and she just hasn’t shown it yet...but you are picking up on subtle signals you cant identify yet.OR..your mind just isn’t ready to relinquish your bother completely.

    Why not suggest a day together..just you and her...so you can get to know her on a personal level. As HER..not justas your bothers wife. You may find you like her more then you think.

    Ok, let's see what you've got for me,...

    It's coming up on the 6-year anniversary of my dad's death. For the most part, I've dealt with it. I don't want to say that I'm "over" it, but I am not burdened by grief. My life has moved in a forward trajectory, etc.

    However, this time of year always the hardest for me. Friends and family openly grieves... but I still can't bring myself to do it. Yes, I grieve privately. I cry, I get angry, then I calm down and rationalize. I just don't feel comfortable doing this in front of others. I have yet to cry in front of my mother or any of my younger siblings... or any of my other family, for that matter. It's just not the way I am, but I feel like everyone looks at me like I must not care since I'm not in hysterics like everyone else. Is there something wrong with me, should I just tell everyone to shove it, or is there something else I can do to let them know I care, but I just grieve differently?
    Everyone grieves differantly..theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. I wouldn’t tell them to shove it unless they are being really rude to you..they just don’t understand. Let them know that you feel it just as mucha s they do...but crying,etc..doesnt make you feel better. It may for them..some people feel much better after they have opened up the floodgates and let it all out. You get comfort from rationalizing. Just tell them that and be there for them to cry to. Suggest sharing stories of him together...some will make them cry and you think...somemayeven make you all laugh in his memory. Either way..you'll be honoring the man together in your own ways. And I'm sure he will be looking down on you all in appreciation.

    And hugs to you from me


    I really want to move somewhere that doesn't have huge taxes or oppressive heat. I'd like to avoid snow and make decent money stripping. Where can you see me settling down in this here corrupt country of ours?

    Okay that's all for now. I'm curious to see what you say.

    Thanks

    NO oppressive taxes or cold...in this country? Good luck! You'll prob be best off going a bit off the beaten path not a coastal town for sure. I don’t have research for taxes across the country so I cant help you much there..but a bit of research into areas you are interested in would turn up the median tax range for that area.


    Ok, I have been looking at this HIV counselor application all weekend. It is a two day course, and you have to volunteer twice a month. But it is between that, and working at a help desk, also as a volunteer, at a community health clinic translating for Spanish speaking patients that have questions on their treatment or whatever.

    I like them both. I guess I am drawn to HIV counselor just a wee bit more because it is an area that gets a lot of funding for research, so it could generally be a useful skill and certification to have. Plus it is something different and interesting to me. But at the same time, I really need to work on my Spanish to maintain it.

    These positions are both through school, obviously, and I don't think I could handle both and my courseload AND work. Which do you think I should do?

    If HIV is more interesting to you...do that one. 1) You’ll get more out of it because you WANT to learn it and 2) HIV is huge when it comes to research grants...if you have a background in it...it could translate into a lot more grant money when you are ready.


    I frequently feel really, really lost. I find that I waste a lot of my time. I spent years 16-21 trying to run away from my family situation and go to college in a rural state. Now I have most of the things that I wanted back then. I have money, no debts, and I even have the opportunity to go to college in my current city for FREE. I like reading, writing, analyzing literature, listening to music, going to shows, studying anatomy and the brain, giving massages, volunteering, decorating spaces, and counseling my friends. I'm just not sure what to do now. I have everything I want, yet I'm unsatisfied and can't make a plan. Do you have any advice? Do you think I should put it down on paper? Have a life coach? Just take it one thing at a time? I feel like I focus on too many things at once and get nothing done. Help!

    You are def. taking on too much at once. What is it you are looking for now?Career? Hobby? Family?

    Take what you are hoping to achieve..make a list and go through it until you find what sparks you.

    say its career... Career:stripping, massage therapist,interior decorating,therapist,writer...

    Imagine doing them one at a time. Take a week and pursue one...look into massage school, try writing for a week,etc..at the end of the time(1month, 2..depends on how many things are on your list) look back at your notes.Which were you just as excited about doing at the end of the week as you were in the beginning? Narrow your choices down to those.

    Same with finding a hobby...do them one at a time and judge your feelings and interest level at the end of the week.

    You may find that many are fun only in theory and you got sick of doing them in reality!



    I am a horrible procrastinator. I write down what I'm supposed to do, I try to schedule myself times to do it, yet I get overwhelmed and still can't make myself do it. I am pulling 16 credits and full time work hours, and I can't afford to sit around doing nothing. How do I motivate myself? Help!

    -Procrastinators Unite....tomorrow
    This is an ongoing problem with me too..and I get distracted easily...I’m vacuuming and go into the kitchen for vacuum bags and see the dishes need to be done..so I start doing that..then I dry my hands on a towel, notice its dirty and decide to do a load of laiundry..on my way to get the est of the laundry, I see there is dust on the shelves and think I should dust...etc..etc...as a result I am often exhausted, but nothing got done!

    You NEED time to sit around doing nothing. You need to recharge..don’t feel guilty about that.

    Make a list of what needs to be done for the WEEK...not the day. So if you spend an hour vegging and the laundry isn’t done...you can check that off tomorrow. Or if you have a burst of energy you can clear half the list in one day and you have guilt-free veg time on other days.

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    How do you get rid of a raging hangover, get energy to go shopping and try to look beautiful in a couple hours?
    HA! Well...I'm sure you look gorgeous even with a hangover!! But a cpl aspirin or Aleve to stop the thumping in your head will help. Eat something. Preferably bread to soak up any alcohol left in your stomach and help any queasiness you feel. Drink some Gatorade to re-hydrate and replenish electrolytes.ONce you are rehydrated your energy level should go up.


    I've never had an orgasm, and the closest I ever came to that was with my ex...who's my favourite person to have sex with. The problem is, he has another 'real girlfriend'. He was trying to get back with her the whole time we were seeing eachother, and then I think he did. He lied to me a lot, and let me down, making me sad and stuff.

    But he still msgs me and wants to hook up. I kind of hate having real boyfriends, but I miss having fun sex. Plus I want to have an orgasm, like someday. Would it be too stupid and damaging to hook up with him again?
    Have you ever orgasmed alone? Either with your fingers or a vibrator? If not...you should work on that first before you do anything. You cant expect anyone else to satisfy you if you dont know how to satisfy yourself.

    As for the ex. I'm quick to say yes it would be damaging... I'm not sure you can NOT get emotionally involved. If you can use him for sex(like I'm sure he would have no problem doing) then I'd say sure...go have some no-strings fun. But I think in your case..it would be too much of a gamble and you may end up hurt again.

    I've been surrounded by very negative people recently, and I am trying not to be negative myself. I know we all complain, but I am really trying to keep a positive outlook with school, with the club being so slow, with my therapy and health.

    How do I shut down the loudly griping DJ (Oh noes, can't play reggaeton all day anymore! Club must be going to heck!), the dancers verbally harrassing me for being 'a nun' (I actually *gasp* follow the new rules about keeping our shoes on, no straddling on the floor and stuff. Most are nice, but others won't leave me alone.), the crazy roommates (for whom I am free therapy and/or must choose sides in their personal feuds), etc?

    I don't want to be totally rude to people I have to spend so much time with, which is usually my first reaction. How do I get away in a slightly more neutral fashion?

    Tell everyone exactly what you just told me. That you are stressed and dont want the people around you adding to it, so could they please try to be positive around you for awhile. Threatening to end up on the roof with a shotgun usually works for me! Either that or holding my hands over my ears screaming Mary has a Little Lamb at the top of my lungs so I cant hear them. Joke, be funny about it...but make sure your point gets across that you just can’t deal with negativity right now.

    When my in-laws come over, my MIL takes the liberty of just walking into my house. My husband and I have told her on numerous occasions that she needs to knock or ring the doorbell and be let in.

    Last night, she was coming over to see the kids. I was in the kitchen cooking and talking on the phone to my husband when I turned around and my MIL was walking into my kitchen. I got angry and I said, "Why didn't you ring the doorbell?" and she replied, "What's the big deal? I knocked and you didn't answer. If you don't want people walking in, then you should lock your doors."

    Now, this is a woman who came over last summer...and I had the front and back doors locked and she walked all the way around my house to walk in, uninvited, through the French doors off of the side porch.

    My only thoughts of dealing with this woman right now involve acts of violence. I feel that my boundaries are constantly being violated and no matter what I say, she doesn't listen. Add that to her having my (now) 5 year old daughter come inside and tell me that I'm "being mean to Nana. She just wanted to see us and you're making her go home because you're being mean."

    The other night when she was over, I sent my daughter upstairs to get ready for bed. M insisted on throwing whiney temper tantrum, as she always does when her Nana is around, and I sent her upstairs anyways. Her nana said, "I'll go help her." and I emphatically told her "No. When she's acting like this, I refuse to give her what she wants. When she changes her attitude and can ask in the proper way for help, THEN I will help her or let you go up and help her." Not 1 minute after I said that, M walks down the stairs whining about getting ready for bed. What does Nana do? She walks over to M and says, "Come on...Nana will help you. You're just a baby...let me help you get ready for bed."

    I stopped that and told M that she needed to say goodnight to Nana because Nana was leaving.

    The major thing that ticks me off is the total lack of respect for my home, my boundaries and my parental authority. The other thing that bugs the hell out of me is that she is constantly trying to make me look like the bad guy. She has been doing this more and more often and I do not think I can continue dealing with this woman with any ounce of "calm" as I have been. I'm ready to rip her arms out of their sockets and beat her over the head with them (there's that violence again).

    Any advice????

    Ok first of all ..lock your doors. All of them. Yes, it sucks that she won’t just respect your wishes, but she won’t. It’s a power play now. Every time the door is unlocked and she can walk in she wins. Lock the doors so she is FORCED to ring the bell and wait and YOU win.

    As for the other issues...you handled the situation very well. She does NOT have the right to over-ride your parenting.

    You AND your husband need to sit down with her and explain that this WILL NOT continue or she wont be welcome in your home anymore. Your husband HAS to be there and has to agree with you. Then it’s a real issue to her, not just her daughter in law being a bitch. And stick to it. Every time she crosses the line..she leaves. Period. Tough love. It’s just like teaching a child they can’t throw a tantrum (which is basically what you MIL is doing). As soon as it starts..they get a time out and you ignore them. Eventually they realize they are NOT going to win this. No matter how much they kick their feet and beat their fists. They behave or nobody pays attention to them.

    It’ll be tense for a while...but it will get better. And isn’t it already tense? Anything is better then this...either she'll stop, or you wont have to deal with her as often!

  3. #3
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    How many boards
    Could the Mongols hoard
    If the Mongol hordes got bored?

  4. #4
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Luke's duck likes lakes. Luke Luck licks lakes. Luke's duck licks lakes. Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes. Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.

  5. #5
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Madcap I believe you have finally gone over the edge.....WTF???

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Madcap has indeed been in a mood tonight.

  7. #7
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    haha wtf madcap?

  8. #8
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Yay my question is on there!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  9. #9
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Yeah, i can't find that site now, what a bummer.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member StuartL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Does this mean that the column pitching worked? I hope to hear that you have positive news for me...

    Can you give any details? Or are these the samples to be prepared for a column pitch?

    Drop me a PM and I'll help if I can...

    Best wishes,

    Stuart

  11. #11
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    The column will begin life on AskAHotModel.com

  12. #12
    Veteran Member StuartL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Good stuff! Congrats. I knew you could do it. it won't be long and you will be able to leverage that up to bigger and better - and probably better paid too.

    Well done.

  13. #13
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by StuartL View Post
    Good stuff! Congrats. I knew you could do it. it won't be long and you will be able to leverage that up to bigger and better - and probably better paid too.

    Well done.
    Well..thats the idea!

  14. #14
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    i totally cannot find that site, there was like 300 tongue twisters there! I am bummed!

  15. #15
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Replies look fine to me.

    The only question i'd raise is why you want to hint at stripping. Mentioning that/your porn career might result in a series of pervy posts on your website. That might in turn put off potential 'click on advert' visitors.

    Maybe discretion is the better part of valour?

    Phil.

  16. #16
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    Replies look fine to me.

    The only question i'd raise is why you want to hint at stripping. Mentioning that/your porn career might result in a series of pervy posts on your website. That might in turn put off potential 'click on advert' visitors.

    Maybe discretion is the better part of valour?

    Phil.
    I thought about that...but I want to be an open type of site where people wont be afraid to ask about anything. I can always just not post the pervy ones....and its ...so pervy emails are inevitable anyway!

    I dont want to shun stripping as if it is something to hide or act like it is something not worthy of my advice.

    So I think I would rather take the pervy stuff and just delete it...to get the good stuff from ALL walks of life.

  17. #17
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Advice column stuff..I need the ok from you guys(long)

    ^^^

    It's not necessarily about having to hide the fact that you're a stripper - it's a case of what will generate the most traffic on your site.

    You have to take a value judgement as to whether discussing stripping, etc, will increase or decrease the volume on your site.

    Personal ethics don't really come into it - the site is a source of income for you, and you have to maximise that income by deciding on what form of content will be the most popular.

    That's really a case of looking at the links on your site and deciding what sort of people are most likely to click on those links. You've then got to tailor the content of your site to attract the sort of people who'll also be interested in the advertising on that site. Conversely, you've also got to make sure the content doesn't put too large a percentage of people off.

    To paraphrase a friend of mine, you're not running the site to get lots of people reading it, you're running it to make money.

    Phil.

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