Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 133

Thread: should i tell the wife?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    tx
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default should i tell the wife?

    i was seeing a married man for about 7 months,i know wrong but still..i got burned. learned my lesson and hear i am asking for advice.he would fuck me then get really distant for a month at a time. theres the sign hes getting what hes wants then hes "happy again" with his wife. will i ened up getting pregnant,and he told me theres no way in hell he wanted a baby,and that he wanted me to get a abortion,i ened up miscarrying 3 days before my abortion appointment,and i would have more then likely have canceled that appointment being as i dont believe in them,but i didnt know what to do with this whole situation. the mans a asshole,point blank if you cant already tell. and now im thinking about telling his wife about whats been going on. not for revenge but for RESPECT! me and his wife both deserve it. i dont want to ruin his life,he will loose everything,but ive already lost so much.im tired of men walking all over me for once in my life IM taking control. but still its so hard to get up the nerve and tell the wife.he keeps saying he learned his lesson and that he will never cheat on her again and that he loves her and doesnt want to loose her,but if he really wanted it to work out and loved her he would have never have fucked me! he just wants his cake and wants to eat it too.

  2. #2
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The VIP room
    Posts
    3,621
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 187 Times in 58 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Just leave it alone. You obviously weren't worried about respecting his wife when you were fucking him. It sounds like you want revenge. Think about this, is it going to make you feel good to be the one to break up his family? If she's smart at all she'll figure out what kind of a loser he is on her own. You should stay out of it.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Andygirl For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    I am curious, which answer would you prefer to hear from the majority?

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    tx
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    no it wasnt respectful when i was fucking him,but hes the one who has already broken up his family,which is just him and his wife,theres no kids envolved. and what answer would i perfer to hear? probaly that i should tell,but like i said im not doing it for revenge,what if he goes and does it again to someone else? im stoping it! once a cheater always a cheater

  6. #5
    stellaforstars
    Guest

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    It might be one thing if he was playing you as well and you had no idea that he was married...However, now you're toying with the idea of destroying this woman's life simply for revenge and to make yourself feel better.

    I think you need to take a good, long look at WHY you really want to tell her. I'm pretty sure it's for your own satisfaction rather than for HER well-being.

  7. #6
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Centerville, OH
    Posts
    953
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Personally, I say tell her. I think the woman has a right to know that her man is an unfaithful ass and to give her a chance to choose if she is better off with or without him.

    Also, she deserves the respect, I do not believe that you do. You knowingly slept with a married man. No respect should get thrown your way on that issue.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  8. #7
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Consider it a lesson learned and move on.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  9. #8
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    A) I don't think it is unreasonable to ask you get an abortion if he doesn't want a child. I mean there are ways and ways of asking, but the request itself is not inhumanly assholic.
    B) So, what is making him an "asshole" is the fact that he was cheating on his wife. Hmm. Yeah. It seems like he likely treats her like she is less important than he is; however, since you were pretty much okay with that until the relationship ended, I'm not sure I'm taking your concern for his wife seriously. Is there a way of saying "I was perfectly willing to ignore your feelings and displace respect for you when I was getting something, but now that I'm not, I'm suddenly finding it is very important" and still have some legitimacy?

    So, while the guy doesn't seem to show much respect for his wife (or we assume - we don't know what they've agreed to), I don't think you're in the best position now to begin insisting on it or looking after her interests.

  10. #9
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    tx
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    she does deserve to know,if she really loved him and wants it to work she will stay with him,and in then end it will only make there union stronger and hopefully he wont cheat again. but yes i do deserve the respect too,he told me when we first started seeing each other that he was unhappily married and that he was going to get a divorce.

  11. #10
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Centerville, OH
    Posts
    953
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by kenzi19 View Post
    she does deserve to know,if she really loved him and wants it to work she will stay with him,and in then end it will only make there union stronger and hopefully he wont cheat again. but yes i do deserve the respect too,he told me when we first started seeing each other that he was unhappily married and that he was going to get a divorce.
    Bullshit, you still did it and did not wait until he was divorced. You are just as much to blame for any damage that has or will be done to that family.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  12. #11
    zxcire
    Guest

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    since you were pretty much okay with that until the relationship ended, I'm not sure I'm taking your concern for his wife seriously. Is there a way of saying "I was perfectly willing to ignore your feelings and displace respect for you when I was getting something, but now that I'm not, I'm suddenly finding it is very important" and still have some legitimacy?

    So, while the guy doesn't seem to show much respect for his wife (or we assume - we don't know what they've agreed to), I don't think you're in the best position now to begin insisting on it or looking after her interests.
    Absolutely. You are NOT in a position now to start giving a damn about this woman.

    This reeks of desperation and revenge, not respect, not at all.

  13. #12
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Rest assured someone else will ruin that marriage.

    It doesn't need to be you.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  14. #13
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    I know you want to believe that you don't want revenge, but really, yes you do. There's no other legitimate reason for telling the wife at this point. Don't. It's not your place. You didn't respect her when you fucked her husband, so you don't respect her now.


    The respect you want for yourself is something you need to find on your own, without fucking with someone else's relationship. That guy walked over you because you let him. You knowingly fuck a man in a relationship - you are ASKING to get fucked over. So you did this to yourself.

    And I'm willing to bet that you're the one who lets other guys walk over you too. People have these patterns.

    The absolute best thing you can do for yourself is:
    1. Let it go with this married dude. Realize your mistake and don't do it again.
    2. Look in the mirror and find what it is that YOU are doing to attract and allow these men to walk on you. People only respect you when you respect yourself (and telling the wife you fucked her husband is NOT respect).
    3. Do not settle for bullshit from others. As long as you put up with it, you will continue to receive it. Stop putting up with it, and you'll start to see people treat you better.


    Good luck. It's a shitty situation but one you can learn from if you look at it the right way.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  15. #14
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Jersey Girl Baby
    Posts
    1,092
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    I agree with what Mast said.

  16. #15
    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,595
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 9 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Don't say anything to her. She probably already knows, but hasn't acknowledged it. Women have a sixth sense that we like to ignore, but it can tip us off a lot of times. Leave it alone. Don't be petty.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

  17. #16
    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    1,134
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    You've probably already told her but I echo what Mast said, as well as zxcire. You can't suddenly have the epiphany that this woman deserves anything from you after you had an affair with her husband. You didn't care anything about her before, and I have the feeling you still don't. You just want to bust his balls more because things didn't work out the way you wanted. Let it go. You'll get more satisfaction from moving on.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

    *~In wine there is wisdom.
    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

  18. #17
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    5,449
    Thanks
    74
    Thanked 165 Times in 119 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by kenzi19 View Post
    ...what if he goes and does it again to someone else? im stoping it! once a cheater always a cheater
    Well, what if you do it again? Who is going to stop you? Once a home breaker ALWAYS a home breaker?

    I am not going to give you advice on what to do because I think it's just plain bad business to advise others on something like this, but I can offer some points of reflection including:

    1.) Who is going to stop you from doing it again? You implied you learned your lesson. You said he said the same thing. I don't see any real difference except in one case it's in your benefit, in the other it is in his. And you implied he deserves to lose everything for it. Do you think that is a fair punishment also for you?

    2.) You really showed no respect for this woman when you were benefiting. It is very easy for people to selectively choose their morale stance when they are benefiting, but you can't expect people to take you very seriously either. Now if you had held to the morale stance and turned him down... well, see point #3.

    3.) I understand being overwhelmingly attracted to someone, even for people who have been married to for a long time, they may run into Mr/Mrs Right. It happens. But... you really did participate in the choice to fuck him. Either of you could have stopped it before you had sex or it went farther. Trust me, I've been there and made the hard choice to do just that, so I know, it can be done. You could have said stop, and said let's wait, until our affairs with others are in order. You could have said no, but you didn't. Half of the responsibility was his, but half was yours, and you chose like he did, to not respect his wife when you were benefiting.

    4.) The main problem I have with your posts is you have told us everything about his poor choices, and yet... really nothing in your post shows that you understand that you take responsibility for your part of the choices. It all comes across as "I was responsible, but not really because..."

  19. #18
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    3,508
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 36 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    No, don't tell her
    It's not your place




  20. #19
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    tx
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    i know i did wrong,i said in the first post i knew it was wrong,but yall are acting like he didnt do anything wrong! why the hell do you think men act the way they do because we let them get away with it! she deserves to know,i dont even like her,shes a bitch and shes had treated him like shit,but i still think she has the right to know..liek is said if its meant to be is she really wants to stay with him,they will work it out,if not then it was not meant to be. i admit to me being wrong,am i a homewrecker? if i ruin there marriage then i guess so,but it wasnt just me,it was him too. i wont feel gulity for it,i have no reason too. if i was the wife i would want to know my husband was cheating one me..wouldnt you?

  21. #20
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Yes, you are a homewrecker.

    And the point is..you ARENT doing this out of some higher concern for saving his wife or other girls....you want revenge pure and simple.

    Yes you should feel guilty..he did his share..but SO DID YOU.. YOU KNOWINGLY had an affair with a MARRIED man.

    and since you think shes such a bitch...why would you want to help her?

    What you are really hoping for is that the "bitch" wife" will thgrow him out and he'll come back to you.

    Revenge...and pathetic.

    Nothing good wll come of this.

    Accept you did a shitty thing and its over. Move on and dont date married men anymore

  22. #21
    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    1,134
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yes, you are a homewrecker.

    And the point is..you ARENT doing this out of some higher concern for saving his wife or other girls....you want revenge pure and simple.

    Yes you should feel guilty..he did his share..but SO DID YOU.. YOU KNOWINGLY had an affair with a MARRIED man.

    and since you think shes such a bitch...why would you want to help her?

    What you are really hoping for is that the "bitch" wife" will thgrow him out and he'll come back to you.

    Revenge...and pathetic.

    Nothing good wll come of this.

    Accept you did a shitty thing and its over. Move on and dont date married men anymore
    You said a mouth full. Atta-baby.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

    *~In wine there is wisdom.
    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

  23. #22
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    tx
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    nope im mostly doing this for me..its called respect he should have never have led me on. im a good person,i guess im a homwrecker,but i dont do drugs,i hardly drink,dont smoke,im healthy and happy for the most part. im not a lesbian or bi,i dont do extras at work,yada yada,let me ask you..have you ever done anything wrong in life?

  24. #23
    zxcire
    Guest

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    So. You come here asking advice. Should I tell the wife?

    We tell you NO. You should not tell the wife.

    You shoot back. BUT I AM GOING TO TELL THE WIFE!!!!

    So. You didn't come here asking for advice. You came here to be agreed with. And nobody is agreeing. Because we think you are wrong.

    So. What is your point?

    What are you going to do?

    You are going to argue.

    Great.

    Have fun being a petty immature person who refuses to see the truth behind your actions!

    Hope it works out for you!

  25. #24
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by kenzi19 View Post
    nope im mostly doing this for me..its called respect he should have never have led me on. im a good person,i guess im a homwrecker,but i dont do drugs,i hardly drink,dont smoke,im healthy and happy for the most part. im not a lesbian or bi,i dont do extras at work,yada yada,let me ask you..have you ever done anything wrong in life?
    What doe any of that have to do with this situation/

    Because you dont do drugs its ok to fuck a married man?

    Honey...you are deluding yourself. You are TOTALLY doing this for yourself. RRESPECt would have been not opening your legs to a man you knew was married. He didnt lead you on..he TOLD you he was married. Bad marriage, blah blah..whatever..they ALL say that. YOU chose to screw him anyway. Move on and leave it alone. You would just be starting troube. And how do you know the wife doesnt already know and stays anyway for her own reasons??? None of your business. Stay out of it.


    And you say lesbian and bi like they are BAD things?? Excuse ME???

  26. #25
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    tx
    Posts
    88
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: should i tell the wife?

    being a lesbian and doing drugs is just as bad as fucking a married man. im just saying dont act like im the only one doing bad things. ya i like to argue,but to prove a point,my point is,he did wrong i did wrong,so now i have to move on and not get anything out of this,but being hurt? no i dont think so,he doesnt deserve to get away with it.

Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Is this your Wife?
    By Sophia_Starina in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 93
    Last Post: 10-31-2013, 06:30 AM
  2. wife=maid?!
    By kendallj in forum Life Support
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-19-2010, 09:34 AM
  3. From a wife :)
    By marcaler2001 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 89
    Last Post: 05-28-2007, 07:10 AM
  4. Husband kills wife's lover; wife charged...Owned yo!
    By BlackSheEp3 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 04-04-2007, 08:08 AM
  5. Wife 1.01
    By lapdogg4030 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-20-2005, 07:20 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •