Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 27

Thread: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

  1. #1
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    so there's this customer.....

    actually, let me start with a little preamble:

    it's no big secret now that the typical strip club customer isn't my "type" nor is he someone i would be close friends with. i speak even of the "hot" young ones. this is not so much because of the fact that they visit strip clubs. it's more because, i generally don't have anything in common with them and they just aren't the kind of guy i go for. you know, "red blooded american male". not that i'm judging anyone who is, just making a point. so because of that, i don't usually get all friendship-like with customers. i mean, i have fun conversations a lot, but they aren't the REAL kind of fun conversations. the ones where i can "be myself" and it actually works..
    you probably know what i mean.
    anyway.........

    so there's this customer.....

    i wouldn't say he's a regular in the "usual" sense. he's a few years older than me. he comes in with some guys from his work and he generally stays a bit afterwards by himself. sometimes he'll come in alone. he generally spends about 60-100 bucks on me (not including drinks). i know it's not a lot, but i actually have FUN when he's there and i know he's giving a generous amount for his budget. not that he's poor at all, he's just not, you know, rich.

    anyway, i always sit with him (unless i really need to go elsewhere) because we have such a good time. it's the closest to a real friendship vibe i've gotten at work. this has been going on for maybe a year. sometimes i wont see him for a couple weeks, sometimes i'll see him every week once or twice.

    anyway, he just recently started hinting to hanging out. i've been blowing it off, untill, i just got the blatant "want to meet me for a cocktail tomorrow after you get off work" email.

    FUCK

    here's the problem:

    i only lie about -1- thing at work. the fact that i have a boyfriend (of 4 and 1/2 years now). i didn't USED to, but i got so tired of all the questions about my relationship, that i figured it was easier this way.

    i've only ever felt guilty about it once before (and i think i may have posted) but no where NEAR this bad. i have 0 interest in cheating on my boyfriend or being with anyone else...

    but i REALLY like this customer as a friend.

    i never lead him on or told him i would go out or anything, but the fact that he's thought this whole time i was single...
    arrggg

    and here's why i feel stupid:
    i really thought we were hitting it off as friends. i didn't think he had any interest in seeing me. ............ i know i know i know I KNOW how ridiculous i sound. i just, i don't know, it didn't start crossing my mind till recently.

    what do i do?



    it's not even about getting money from him or anything either. i don't give a shit if he never spends a dime on me again... not just because he's not a big spender either. i just ........... arg! it's so frustrating. the one customer i like as a person right now and this happens.


    is there any way i can tell him without
    A. sounding conceited like "i know you're into me but..."
    B. sounding like i've been hustling him this whole time. you know, pretending to like his jokes, etc... cause that isn't true
    C. making a damned akward fool of myself

    also, what do i do about this email? should i respond or just wait till he comes in (if he does) ......


  2. #2
    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    842
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 27 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    The question you need to ask yourself is "how would my bf feel about this"?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Do unto others as you would have them do to you...it's less work to be nice than it is to be evil!

    "Miss ChiChi, if you was my girl you would never cry from anything...except maybe happiness."

  3. #3
    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    340
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Maybe you can give him another lie and tell him you just recently started seeing someone?

  4. #4
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by MinahSky View Post
    The question you need to ask yourself is "how would my bf feel about this"?
    he already knows. i tell him everything. i actually just paraphrased this post after i wrote it before coming back here.

  5. #5
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetMelissa View Post
    Maybe you can give him another lie and tell him you just recently started seeing someone?
    that's actually what my boyfriend suggested.

    but now i just feel bad lying to him at all. .. and to be clear.. i only ever told him ONCE (when i first met him) that i didnt have a boyfriend.

    since then i've just never brought it up.

  6. #6
    buffie06
    Guest

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetMelissa View Post
    Maybe you can give him another lie and tell him you just recently started seeing someone?
    This is what I would do.

  7. #7
    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    oblivion
    Posts
    1,356
    Thanks
    307
    Thanked 337 Times in 241 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    that's actually what my boyfriend suggested.

    but now i just feel bad lying to him at all. .. and to be clear.. i only ever told him ONCE (when i first met him) that i didnt have a boyfriend.

    since then i've just never brought it up.
    Ok first of all, I love that you used the word preamble.
    Second, I was totally going to post a rambling paragraph, but decided to refresh the page and just read this. Dude, you're totally in the clear. It might be a little different if this was something that was upkept over time, like repetitive lying. But you said this when you first met him, which if he has any kind of understanding of your job and respect for your situation, he should totally understand why.
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    340
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    woops..basically said the same thing ^ and I agree, that it would be different if you kept lying to him but you didn't.


    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    .. i only ever told him ONCE (when i first met him) that i didnt have a boyfriend.
    Well there ya go. If you told him when you first met about a year ago, you could tell him you've met someone since then. If you're really hating yourself right now for lying to him then tell him the whole story. If he's really a good guy like you think he is, he should laugh it off and understand why you lie at work.

  9. #9
    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    oblivion
    Posts
    1,356
    Thanks
    307
    Thanked 337 Times in 241 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetMelissa View Post
    woops..basically said the same thing ^ and I agree, that it would be different if you kept lying to him but you didn't.
    Hehe, it's all good, I think we were both thinking and typing out our responses close to the same time. Great minds.....
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

  10. #10
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Wild
    Posts
    1,409
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Hmm... I hope I don't come across as insensitive or trivializing, but I don't really think this needs to become a problem.

    Just tell him you have a BF. Admit that you lied, and explain why: you routinely lie about this aspect of your life at work, for obvious reasons. But you are telling him the truth now, and you don't want to lead him on, as either a customer or a friend. So if he wants to hang out platonically, casually, then cool (assuming it'd be cool with your BF, and you want to hang out with this guy). If not, that's okay too, and if he doesn't want to see you ITC anymore, you understand.

    If/when you do hang out with him, don't flirt. Don't touch him, don't sit too close, don't give off any stripper vibes. Do relax and be yourself in full non-stripper mode. If he's a cool guy, he'll appreciate the genuineness, even if he's dismayed by the fact that he's not going to get any loving.

    Something that I don't talk about much on here (for fear of being judged) is that one of my closest friends here in FL is a former regular. He's a cool guy who I met at the club, who always treated me nicely, if not extravagantly. The money was appreciated, but what mattered was how easy it was... I never felt like I was working when I was hanging out with him. Then I stopped dancing and realized that the thing I'd miss most about the club was hanging out with him. Seriously. He had become my bro like that.

    Anyway, with my friend: I don't like him like that... never did, never will. Like you, I lied to my reg not only about being single, but about a ton of other stuff (nothing major, mostly lies for self-amusement... i.e., I like to pretend I was born in Utah, my parents are Swiss hoteliers, I grew up skiing until I tore a ligament at age 15, at which time I became a volunteer exotic animal handler and that's why I have tiger stripes on my butt, also I know how to wrestle gators, and I do so for fun and profit in Myakka City). Getting to know him IRL meant coming clean, and I was totally nervous about it. But he understood why I had lied, and thought it was kind of funny I had been such a goofball about it, and we cleared the air and it was pretty much fine.

    The only thing I was really careful about was not to send the sexy vibes when my reg and I started being real-life friends. So that's what I think you should be concerned with... if you want to be friends with him, there can be no flirting, or he'll misinterpret. As for the white lie, just come clean, explain, and apologize. If you act like you've committed a huge misdeed by lying, he'll take it as one. But it's not a big deal. You were doing your job. That's all.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

  11. #11
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by teeth_of_the_hydra View Post
    Just tell him you have a BF. Admit that you lied, and explain why: you routinely lie about this aspect of your life at work, for obvious reasons.
    I knew someone would beat me to it!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  12. #12
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    VIP Room
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 77 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Honestly, I don't think you owe him any explanation. Yes, you know him ITC but that's it. I don't think we girls owe these customers any explanation about our real lives, good customers or not. Do you think they're totally up front and honest about their lives?
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I only get horny when I've tucked a few benjamins in my thong; it's a money fetish.."

  13. #13
    Glamazon
    Guest

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    I'm with TOTH on this one.

  14. #14
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Somewhere cold
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    I don't think you even have to say you lied. Just say you have a boyfriend, and if he remembers you saying you didn't, say you started seeing him shortly after that.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  15. #15
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The VIP room
    Posts
    3,621
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 187 Times in 58 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by teeth_of_the_hydra View Post
    (nothing major, mostly lies for self-amusement... i.e., I like to pretend I was born in Utah, my parents are Swiss hoteliers, I grew up skiing until I tore a ligament at age 15, at which time I became a volunteer exotic animal handler and that's why I have tiger stripes on my butt, also I know how to wrestle gators, and I do so for fun and profit in Myakka City).
    This is awesome.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  16. #16
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    i -just- emailed him back. i was 100% honest. i didn't tell him how long we've been together, but i didn't say "i just started seeing someone" either. i did mention why i started not telling people i have a boyfriend...

    so he probably will assume it's been awhile, which is fine. i don't want to lie to him anymore.

    i just hope he isn't upset by it in any way.

    it also sucks because now i know there's a 95% chance i'll be losing the only customer i currently have who i really enjoy sitting with.

    i mean, there are a few others i don't -dislike-

    it's just, not the same.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    .
    Posts
    123
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 60 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    it also sucks because now i know there's a 95% chance i'll be losing the only customer i currently have who i really enjoy sitting with.
    He may surprise you. And if he doesn't come back, then you know he wasn't a true friend anyway.

  18. #18
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    3,508
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 36 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    I agree with TOTH. If you want a friendship then its your job to be honest. just tell him that you tell every potential customer the first time you meet him that you dont have a boyfriend. And say its because you didnt want all kinds of questions about it and you didnt wanna scare him away. fair enough, right? I think a guy who is truly a good person will be able to accept and understand this.




  19. #19
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Puritanical New England
    Posts
    1,003
    Thanks
    1,798
    Thanked 929 Times in 495 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    [quote=Pretty_Penny;1306640]i

    it also sucks because now i know there's a 95% chance i'll be losing the only customer i currently have who i really enjoy sitting with.

    quote]

    Don't be afraid to tell him that....

  20. #20
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,662
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    I think you did the right thing by telling him the (almost) truth, which is definitely not easy. Hopefully all will work out and you won't lose him as a custy and friend.

  21. #21
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    [QUOTE=CFMNH44;1307067]
    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    i

    it also sucks because now i know there's a 95% chance i'll be losing the only customer i currently have who i really enjoy sitting with.

    quote]

    Don't be afraid to tell him that....
    o i did tell him that.

    but he might not think i'm being honest about it now. like, maybe he'll think it's just SS. :/

    he hasn't responded yet btw.

  22. #22
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Well, you already did exactly what I was going to suggest you do. I think any guy with a good grasp on reality would understand why a stripper would say she doesn't have a boyfriend.

    I had a similar situation with a regular of mine a few months ago. He is a pretty big spender, too, as well as just a very sweet guy of whom I'm genuinely fond. I had actually never told him if I did or didn't have a boyfriend, just told him if he didn't ask me any questions I wouldn't tell him any lies.

    After nearly a year of coming to see me, he sent me an email confessing tender feelings and asking me out, and I had to break down and tell him about my boyfriend. He took it fine, and still comes in to see me. Doesn't spend *quite* as much as he used to, but that's OK. He's still great.

  23. #23
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    3,233
    Thanks
    100
    Thanked 43 Times in 30 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Please don't flame me for this I am not being rude at all but I think the op has a bit of a crush on the custy which if fine its not big deal we are all human but I can also see that she dose not intend to leave or cheat on bf which is also great. I do think she fears that telling him she has a bf would make him stop coming into chat so I would make up a lie that did not involve a man just say youll loose your job if you are seen in public otc with custy and leave it at that.

  24. #24
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    Quote Originally Posted by krchab99 View Post
    Please don't flame me for this I am not being rude at all but I think the op has a bit of a crush on the custy which if fine its not big deal we are all human but I can also see that she dose not intend to leave or cheat on bf which is also great. I do think she fears that telling him she has a bf would make him stop coming into chat so I would make up a lie that did not involve a man just say youll loose your job if you are seen in public otc with custy and leave it at that.


    lol (no offense meant by the laugh)

    i really don't have a crush on him. if i did i wouldn't have a problem saying so, i would even tell my bf. i really do like the guy... but more so in the way i like my other close male friends i have no interest in sexually, etc.

    my guilt comes from a combination of that feeling and the "he's such a nice guy" feeling.

    though, i do totally understand where you're coming from.

  25. #25
    stellaforstars
    Guest

    Default Re: awwww man :( feeling super stupid and guilty

    ^^I hope he understands and that you can continue to see him in the club.

    Those few custies that make work enjoyable always quite upsetting to lose. Sounds like he has his wits about him though, so perhaps he'll just brush it off.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. feeling guilty
    By MISS.NY in forum Life Support
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-27-2011, 01:16 AM
  2. Feeling guilty
    By rareaspasia in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-01-2009, 09:52 AM
  3. awwww my club is super awesome!!!
    By mermaidnz in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-15-2007, 10:37 AM
  4. feeling guilty
    By AzAzn in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-09-2004, 06:31 PM
  5. feeling guilty
    By ginamarie in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-13-2004, 08:23 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •