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Thread: complete and utter burn out

  1. #1
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default complete and utter burn out

    i'm taking two weeks off, starting next week. i wish i could afford to take more time off, but since i've been running on empty for so long, i'm gonna be struggling to get by for the two weeks as it is.

    my confidence (not that there's much of it at the best of times) is absolutely shot to pieces at the moment. my earnings have dwindled to an absolutely pathetic amount because i have become so down on myself and so exhausted that i am completely incapable of asking a customer for a dance. i think it's been about 5 weeks since i've approached a customer that didn't specifically wave me over first. even with the ones that do wave me over, i can't even bring myself to say, "would you like a dance with me". i just wait til they ask, and if they don't, i'll excuse myself and walk away. i feel so fat and ugly compared to all of the amazingly beautiful and slim girls i work with, i feel uncomfortable in all my work clothes, i can't seem to get my hair and makeup right anymore, and my stage performances have become lacklustre and boring.

    burn outs fucking suck. i'm really hoping that two weeks will be long enough for me to get myself back on track. i'm going to try to hit the gym every day, and if i can afford it, get my hair coloured. i need to do something, because if i continue working in this manner, i'm going to end up institutionalized.

    guess i just needed to get this off my chest.

  2. #2
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Sorry your going through this and yeah burnouts do suck . I felt like this a while back I wasn't making shit and would get home crying it sucked .So I just stopped going to work because I felt like shit being their or hearing a less attractive girl bank while I made nothing .I took about a month and a half or more but im back and back to my old self and better. You are beautiful Darcy and you'll get through it just take you time off and relax.

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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Ummmm, you're f-in gorgeous so either it's your eyesight or you need a pick me up. There's probably a lot of things on your mind so try a few pick-me-up-sessions with a therapist who can help you rediscover that beautiful, worthy, powerhouse inside you!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  4. #4
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    i think i'm just worried because honestly, i've been burnt out for months. months and months and months. it has been SO long since i've felt good about myself at work, and i'd actually be willing to bet that it's been about 6 months since i've actually said the words, "would you like a dance with me" to anyone other than a regular.

    i'm worried that i've been burned out for too long to recover from it...

  5. #5
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    ^^^ all I can tell you is that for the last 5 years or so, the changes that were happening in the industry kept sapping my energy, self esteem, and sanity. I found that I had been infected with burnout like an antibiotic resistant bacteria. At first I could fully 'recover' after taking a couple of weeks off from dancing. But then after a few bouts it took more like a couple of months off from dancing before I fully 'recovered'.

    During the last 'bout' of burnout before I decided to say fuck it and retire altogether, it took me about 4 months to 'recover'. And even after I did officially retire, it took the better part of a year before I really started to 'be my old self again' i.e. enjoying socializing with guys, enjoying going out in public etc. If I eventually recovered after something like 5 years worth of on-and-off bouts of burnout, so will you !

    These days, if I get a call from an old buddy clubowner or magazine editor, I actually enjoy the opportunity to dust off the 6" heels. Of course, it's nice to be in a position of telling them 'thanks but no thanks' if I don't feel like it. It's also nice knowing that if I do decide to put the 6" heels back on, that it will only be for a few days at a time - and that it really doesn't matter a bit to me how much money I'll make (if any).

  6. #6
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    ^ Melonie, that give me hope. I haven't danced in about 4 months now and I still haven't gotten back to my old self yet, still hate socializing with guys and going out and stuff...that described me perfectly. I so much prefer staying home now. I'm hopefuly that I will eventually recover as well. I do miss dancing.

    And darcy...I'm sorry your going through this. Burn out sucks ass. Take care of yourself. Really pamper the hell out of yourself for the next 2 weeks.

  7. #7
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    I second the idea of seeking out counseling. Your avatar is stunning, so if you don't feel stunning, your self-image is severely off. There are a lot of self-defeating messages in your post, too: "I'm gonna be struggling to get by", "my earnings have dwindled to an absolutely pathetic ammount", "I'm completely incapable of asking a customer for a dance"...

    I bet these are the same kinds of messages that run in your head all the time, too. When you tell yourself these things all the time, you believe them, and they become self-fulfilling propehcies. It can be total hell to feel like this I know. I finally found an awesome therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a therapy style that teaches you to recognize the crappy things you say to yourself and replace them with more positive messages. It takes a while to break the old habit of thinking shitty things about yourself, but once you learn, it's like magic.

  8. #8
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    yeah, i already see a psychiatrist who does CBT, it does help a bit, but it'll take time.

    i won't go into my self image issues, because i've talked about that far too much on here in the past. but they tend to flare up when i get run down, and at the moment i'm extremely emotionally and physically exhausted, and whenever that happens i jump aboard the self-loathing train.

    i'm gonna ask my mum if she wants to go to a day spa with me. i'm sure she'll pay for it, and i think it would do me some good to relax and get pampered. probably do her some good too... she works an extremely hectic high-stress managerial job and is on holiday at the moment... right now her and dad are interstate visiting my little bro, but she still has some time off work when she gets back.

  9. #9
    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy Foxx View Post
    i'm gonna ask my mum if she wants to go to a day spa with me. i'm sure she'll pay for it, and i think it would do me some good to relax and get pampered. probably do her some good too... she works an extremely hectic high-stress managerial job and is on holiday at the moment... right now her and dad are interstate visiting my little bro, but she still has some time off work when she gets back.
    You know, this says a lot about your progress and how far you've come. In some past posts I didn't see you as quickly brainstorming solutions or "feel good" therapeutic activities. But here, you are.
    I'm kind of the same where happiness requires extensive efforts. But when I do those particular things, I'm coolio. And it gets easier to do those things once I get the ball rolling. The same will happen for you. Once you get in the practice of it, it'll just start feeling natural. So totally, indulge yourself, love yourself, maybe check out something that you've been interested in learning/exploring. You'll feel refreshed.

    ETA: Also, I don't know if this would be something of interest to you. But at one point when I felt confusion about certain things in my life, I made a deco book. Kind of like an diary but really abstract. At the time, it didn't really interest me to write about the things I was trying to work out, but the art depictions of those feelings/situations was such an awesome release. And then a hobby for me was born. Maybe you could do one themed on the things you want to feel about yourself. And having that visual representation can serve as motivation when you go and open it up again later. Kind of like a photo album reminding you of good times and reasons to be happy. People really benefit from having that customized visual stimuli. This is one of the reasons I love making art, it's very therapeutic in ways I never understood until I started doing it.
    Last edited by Christany; 12-01-2007 at 12:25 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

  10. #10
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    i think i'm gonna go to the store and buy myself some hair dye too. i need a revamp, and i can't afford to go to the salon right now, but i'm sure i can get some nice home hair colour.

  11. #11
    sun child
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    yes definitely go to the salon with you mum...and definitely do some home hair coloring too. have some fun with it. i find that i need pick me ups too - massage is a great one. it really helps you to recover from body traumas and emotional traumas. remember that you are a beautiful woman and you have a whole network of dancers that will help support you. if you ever want to talk you can pm me. and to echo the other posters i have seen your pictures and you're drool worthy. i'm sorry work is getting you down. try: - massage - spa services that make you feel relaxed and pretty - taking a vacation and reconnecting with yourself - deep breathing exercises - yoga and pilates - healthy diet - lots of time outdoors in the sunshine
    Also don't be too hard on yourself about work. It's just a little bump in the road for you.You'll get your fire back! Please let us know how things are going...

  12. #12
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    thank you

    i think i might sit down and write a list of things i can do for the next two weeks that will make me feel better. eat well, hit the gym, get a massage, colour my hair... etc.

  13. #13
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Have you thought about possibly working elsewhere? Maybe the club just doesn't suit you at the moment? There ARE other options. Why not Mackay? I only say Mackay as I spoke with one of the two dancers in charge of hiring etc for that club up there and honestly... they would take you on.

    You have the costumes, the shows and thus you would be of an acceptable standard to them for the Mackay strip club. They pay $1000 per week to do the shows in the club as well as airfare and accommodation.

    Mackay doesn't have much to do up there entertainment wise I must admit however maybe get yourself OUT of Adelaide and somewhere new might also help you out.

    I know it has helped me more than I can say working in a different city and different club. Since you are already being paid with the Mackay contract, you have time to work on your "hustle" ....

    It's worth a thought. If you really want to go to Mackay, I have the girls number to contact so feel free to PM me. I don't get a commission or anything out of referring you just that I know what they are looking for in showgirls.

    I just need more 'elaborate' outfits and shows before I would be able to do that contract.

    Enjoy the time off. Explore your own city from a tourist viewpoint


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  14. #14
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    i want to lose weight before i'd take any interstate bookings. i've not been to the gym for ages and i've gained weight and lost flexibility, strength and tone. what is the minimum booking? i can't leave my cats for too long.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    For showgirls it is a fortnight (two weeks) ... it is three weeks for house girls.

    I still think that they will take you on... maybe consider it after your two weeks break? It might do you a world of good.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Senior Member Gwennnnnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    After I dance regularly for 3 months, without fail, I need to take a break for a week and a half or two weeks... and then return.

  17. #17
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy Foxx View Post
    i won't go into my self image issues, because i've talked about that far too much on here in the past. but they tend to flare up when i get run down, and at the moment i'm extremely emotionally and physically exhausted, and whenever that happens i jump aboard the self-loathing train.
    Yeah, I relate completely. I'm one of those for whom happiness require consistant effort. If I get too wrapped up in work to do all the routines that keep me healthy and sane, I get off the rails pretty quickly.

    I think it says great things that you are being so proactive about getting yourself back in a healthy frame of mind. You know that you need time off, so you are taking it. You're looking for relaxing activities. You're thinking about your options and see yourself as having choices. That's awesome. Way to go, Darcy!!!

  18. #18
    Featured Member cottoncandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    You're hot Darcy! You shouldn't feel bad about yourself. I'm sorry it's sapping your energy. Yeah, stripping can make you feel down if you don't take time off. I hope you enjoy your 2 weeks off. I think if you take really good care of yourself (working out, eating right, gettting enough sleep) when you're off then you'll feel better.

  19. #19
    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    If that's you on the avatar Holey shit!!!!!!! You are slammin' hot.
    I hope you feel better soon.

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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    I think you're beautiful!!!! But I know it doesn't matter how much someone else says it to you,you have to be the one to believe it! There's days that all I see in the mirror is a fat person but then other days I see a thin person, it's crazy how our mind works. Have you ever been diagnosed with clinical depression? You sound depressed to me. The reason I point that out is I suffer with depression on & off and have been on & off anti-depressants for years. Maybe look into it. At least try to start working out. I KNOW that will help you feel better. Anyone with depression or even just feeling crappy will feel better by working out, guaranteed! Stop telling yourself you're ugly, you're fat, you're horrible, etc. tell yourself good things. When you repeat over & over bad things, you'll believe them, the same goes for positive things.

    I've always thought you were gorgeous and have never understood where you get your negative feelings from but who am I to say anything because I do the same thing to myself. While you're off, don't think about work, just think about you. Work out, do your hair, do your nails, etc. and start thinking positive things. If you have to, maybe find another job. No amount of money is worth your sanity!
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I only get horny when I've tucked a few benjamins in my thong; it's a money fetish.."

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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    You know, I've been feeling the same way lately too It really sucks. I was supposed to go to work today and I ended up staying home, and not even calling the manager to tell him that I wouldn't be there. It makes me feel like shit but sometimes, being at work is even worse than feeling like shit at home.

    I think I'm just going through an "ugly phase" I know there's nothing wrong with my appearance but I can't help but obsess over the way that I look, to the point where it definitely intereferes with how much money I make at work. Lately, everytime I go on stage I can't help but look at around at the other girls and feel awful about myself, which is so unlike me. Usually I'm pretty conceited. I think I'm just gonna go tanning and maybe get some hair extensions to make myself feel a little bit better, but other than that, I really don't know what to do.

    I hope you feel better soon Darcy!

  22. #22
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Quote Originally Posted by leogirl876 View Post
    Have you ever been diagnosed with clinical depression? You sound depressed to me. The reason I point that out is I suffer with depression on & off and have been on & off anti-depressants for years. Maybe look into it. At least try to start working out. I KNOW that will help you feel better. Anyone with depression or even just feeling crappy will feel better by working out, guaranteed!
    yeah, i have depression, generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. working out does make me feel heaps better, but i haven't been going to the gym at all lately because i get bad panic attacks sometimes when i drive home from there (related entirely to the time i nearly OD'ed on diet drugs and started blacking out in my car on the way home from the gym), and when i get stressed and exhausted my panic and anxiety get heaps worse, so i've been avoiding going to the gym. as soon as i get over this tonsillitis tho, back in there EVERY day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elusive21
    Lately, everytime I go on stage I can't help but look at around at the other girls and feel awful about myself
    yup, that's what i do every single night. and not just on stage, but in the dressing room, and every time i step foot in the club.

  23. #23
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    feel better Darcy.

    <3
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  24. #24
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    Don't worry about the gym. Try a dvd! I use a pilates DVD to get rolling when I feel crabby and anti-social and I feel peaceful and cum-ba-ya afterwards. Enjoy your time off. Meditation is great for quieting your anxiety. Just sit and breathe and let it pass right through you until it lets go of your thoughts. I find I always come back transformed and with a new passion for living after a good break.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  25. #25
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: complete and utter burn out

    that's not a bad idea, maybe i will break out my old pilates dvds for the days i'm feeling too anxious to get to the gym. i'm going to start walking more too.

    i've been trying to do the meditation thing but i'm not so good at it. my mind is a very busy place.

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