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Thread: am i being fed BS ?

  1. #1
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    Default am i being fed BS ?

    ok
    so most of you know my relationship situation by now...
    i broke up with my gf a while ago
    and have since then been trying to get back together

    so, we had gotten into an argument 2 weeks ago, and i couldnt take it anymore, and baught a plane ticket that same day, and went to see my friends in LA for 10 days...

    when i came back, i saw her...
    we had dinner
    and i told her i wanted to talk to her...
    i told her that my trip in LA was really good, and it relaxed me ..
    bla bla bla

    i told her that i was felt miserable for how i treated her sometimes (pushing her away, when she opened herself up to me)
    i told her i just wanted her to be happy, and to be there for her..
    i said i wanted to be "that guy"

    i told her how she was such a great person, and that i wanted to give back, what she gave to me.. (pleasent experiences, etc)..


    she looked like she was gonna tear, and she interupted me and said
    "im putting my foot down this time. i dont know if you can be that guy. i dont want a relationship right now. i have to focus on school, work, and my disease(chrones disease). im not saying we wont be together in the future, but right now, all i can offer you is friendship. if you dont want it, then theres nothing i can do".

    i said thats fine. and that i would take it.

    now at the same time, when we were together, she had work and school.. and she was doing a fine job on juggling all that, and a relationship.

    now, i did notice something wierd about her when i saw her.
    firstly, she is a BEAUTIFUL natural blonde...
    she colored her hair brown, and i think it looks horrible. she also seemed to have lost a few lbs.
    she's a thin girl to begin with..


    she told me she was going to st. martins for 3 weeks during her winter break.

    how do i know if she really just isnt ready for a relationship because of her issues, or if she just doesnt have the balls to tell me straight up NO I DONT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU..


    keep in mind, when we were together, 90% of the time, SHE was the one who was head over heals for me, and all that shit...
    her family loved me... her girls liked me... everything was peachy..




    i feel wierd because, i know im a good looking guy. im tall, really funny, caring, smart,healthy and make money.... so, why wouldnt she want me ?

    i cant figure this girl out,

  2. #2
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    You don't need to figure her out. She's not a puzzle! She has told you exactly what she wants/needs from you. You are unable/unwilling to accept and respect her wishes.

    Once again, she doesn't want you, dude! If you can't deal with "just friends" then move on!!

  3. #3
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    No matter how much a girl loves you, sometimes she can only take too much. Shes prob. worried that even though you say you wanna be "that guy" you'll just end up falling into the same pattern, pushing her away an what not.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  4. #4
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    No matter how much a girl loves you, sometimes she can only take too much. Shes prob. worried that even though you say you wanna be "that guy" you'll just end up falling into the same pattern, pushing her away an what not.
    OMG! Please don't encourage him. This dude has a history here of asking for advice and then not following it. This chick obviously doesn't want him and he is just torturing himself by coming here and looking for someone to give him a little bit of hope that he has a chance with her. He doesn't and he needs to move on!!

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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    then why cant she just tell me she doesnt want me ? she is feeding me hope....

  6. #6
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Dude, I'm so sorry, but every single word in that post is screaming "it's over."

    And forgive me, really, I know you don't want to hear this, but I get the sense that there may be another guy in the background. I truly hope I'm wrong, but at least now it's out there.

  7. #7
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    im putting my foot down this time. i dont know if you can be that guy. i dont want a relationship right now. i have to focus on school, work, and my disease(chrones disease). im not saying we wont be together in the future, but right now, all i can offer you is friendship. if you dont want it, then theres nothing i can do".
    how do i know if she really just isnt ready for a relationship because of her issues, or if she just doesnt have the balls to tell me straight up NO I DONT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU


    She did tell you striaght up. See bolded text. End of story. Nothing to figure out. Who cares why she doesn't want you. She doesn't. Knowing why doesn't change that.

    then why cant she just tell me she doesnt want me ? she is feeding me hope....
    Nowhere in your OP did I see hope. She said she doesn't want a relatioship. She stated why he doesn't want one. How is that hope??

    i feel wierd because, i know im a good looking guy. im tall, really funny, caring, smart,healthy and make money.... so, why wouldnt she want me

    Just cause your good looking, tall funny and caring doesn't mean she should automaticialyl want you. SOmetimes even the most awesome, handsome man in the world just isn't compatible for whatever reason or personality clash.

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    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    you fucked her over repeatedly and you're upset now cuz she finally wised up? you should be. you should also leave her alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    do you guys think i should contact her anymore ? or let her contact me if she has any interest

  10. #10
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    You hit it on the second try!

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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    ok.thanks

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Steve, please stop tormenting your feelings with thoughts of her, you are doing more damage on yourself than necessary.




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    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    do you guys think i should contact her anymore ? or let her contact me if she has any interest
    you should definitely NOT contact her. time to move on.
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

  14. #14
    242_fair
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Move on. She does not want you.

    And she is more than likely spending 3 weeks in paradise with a man she DOES want.

    Forget her, don't call her, find a new hobby, move on.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Hey!!! He should go to a strip club and meet some real women there!!! They wont break his heart.... just his wallet!




  16. #16
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Let her know you will be there when she needs you (but ONLY if you really mean it) and let her make the decision as to whether or not she actually wants to contact you.

    Let her go.

  17. #17
    Senior Member GentlemanX's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Dude, I'm so sorry, but every single word in that post is screaming "it's over."

    And forgive me, really, I know you don't want to hear this, but I get the sense that there may be another guy in the background. I truly hope I'm wrong, but at least now it's out there.
    This and the other advice TOO gave you is totally right. Girls almost always have someone else in the background (usually in the form of "harmless guy friends" who are standing in the wings ready to strike at a moments notice) and it sounds like, at the very least, you just got demoted to competing with her other "friends." You can be her friend only if you can handle her sleeping with other guys. I say sleeping with (not dating) because that is the mental image you will get when it happens and if you have feelings for her then that will really suck. My advice is to totally forget her and move on. If she calls you, then be casual but don't get emotionally involved.

    Of course, I don't usually take my own advice. It's hard to just be cool about whatever.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    ok.
    i found out through some people that there is no guy in the picture..
    and for the past few weeks (and while i was gone in LA)
    she's just been at home..
    she took on another job so she literally spends 12 hours a day between work and school...
    ... she DOESNT need the money ...

    which is also very UN LIKE her.. .
    she's a social person, and she usually spends the weekend hanging out.. she hasnt been up to shit
    AND she lost a little bit of weight..

    no drugs... and she decreased her alcohol intake ...

    this is very unlike her...

  19. #19
    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    It's very unlike her? and that's a bad thing?

    I say good for her for working harder, not using drugs and decreasing her amount of alcohol intake. No one should be complaining about that. Maybe she's realizing that she needs to grow up a bit? Get her life together maybe? She's what, 19, did you say?

    Maybe she's trying to get her mind off everything by working more hours completely filling her schedule? I know a lot of people who overwork when they're going through hard times because it distracts them for a while. Her losing a bit of weight worries me but it could be from a number of reasons. Hopefully she'll get back on track with that soon.

    That's nice that you're so worried about her and all but you really ought to back away, give her space and try to get on with your life like most everyone has told you already in the last thread you started about her.

  20. #20
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    i feel wierd because, i know im a good looking guy. im tall, really funny, caring, smart,healthy and make money.... so, why wouldnt she want me ?

    i cant figure this girl out,
    But you don't treat her well. You push her away. You took off rather then working it out. From everything you described, she was head over heels in love with you, and you didn't reciprocate. What you listed doesn't matter if you break her heart.

  21. #21
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Who...cares.... What does it matter if her actions are unlike her? Stop obsessing and move on! Leave her alone!

  22. #22
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    There ARE other girls. You should give them a chance to meet you.

    Go out and do all the things you love to do that this girl would never do, and you will meet somebody else.

    There is a line from Lady Sings the Blues that i think applies here: "If you can't have what you want, and you don't want what you can have, you know what you get."

  23. #23
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    No matter how much a girl loves you, sometimes she can only take too much. Shes prob. worried that even though you say you wanna be "that guy" you'll just end up falling into the same pattern, pushing her away an what not.



    Nobody ever wants to go back to 'Square 1.'



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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    ...she told me she was going to st. martins for 3 weeks during her winter break...
    Steve K:

    On a cautionary note, IMO, asking her for additional details about her trip to St. Martin would certify you as an emotional masochist.

    Please spare yourself the anguish of confirming "the truth" that you probably already recognize. Bluntly stated, I suspect that the "Virgin Islands" destination would represent an oxymoron in this scenario...

  25. #25
    Senior Member GentlemanX's Avatar
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    Default Re: am i being fed BS ?

    [quote=Budai;1309164]Steve K:

    On a cautionary note, IMO, asking her for additional details about her trip to St. Martin would certify you as an emotional masochist.

    quote]

    hahahaha very true

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