View Poll Results: Have you ever been raped?

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  • I am a woman and I have been raped

    75 29.64%
  • I am a man and I have been raped

    5 1.98%
  • I am a woman and I have been sexually assaulted/molested

    95 37.55%
  • I am a man and I have been sexually assaulted/molested

    8 3.16%
  • I am a woman and I have been a victim of attempted rape

    34 13.44%
  • I am a man and I have been a victim of attempted rape

    1 0.40%
  • I have never been raped, sexually assaulted, and have never been a victim of attempted rape.

    89 35.18%
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Thread: Have you ever been raped?

  1. #176
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Great sentiment but the fact is we'd be in jail if we chose to do that. If this society gave a murder pas in cases of rape it'd be ON!!! Until I'll cherish my freedom and the fact that I don't live in an angry sick mind/spirit day in and day out.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  2. #177
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    I was very violently angry - I even went to the point of spending a lot of time and money the year before I moved out getting a hold of cyanide (I did all the cooking). But in the end, I knew I didn't want it on my conscience. He killed the sweet, innocent, beautiful little girl that lived inside of me but he would never be able to touch the part of me that is/was/will always be far, far better than he is. That's what keeps me going a lot of days - that I had the chance to stoop down that low and didn't.

    Now that I'm healing, though, I'm looking at it differently. He's constantly threatening to come find me, to hurt me, to rape me, to kill me, etc. because he found out I'm no longer keeping my mouth shut. At this point, my sister is out of the picture and I'm a grown woman. I don't have to worry about her any more - and I have the divine animal right to protect myself and my sanity. It gives me peace to know that he can't hurt me anymore without me fighting back.

    I dunno. I don't have answers. I just know that one day he'll get what he deserves - and whether it's at my hands or someone else'sor even just a freak accident, justice will be served.

  3. #178
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    ^^^You are a damn tough girl with an amazingly huge heart.
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  4. #179
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Cherry_sin, you are a amazingly strong woman. I don't know how you got through all that, but I'm glad you did. I had somethings happen with my stepdad as well, which I'm still trying to sort out. Sometimes I hate therapy, but damn girl, if you can survive all that, I can survive figuring my brain out, whatever comes out of it.

    I also have to say I hope we've all learned that if your kid (or any kid) tells you stuff is awry, you listen!

  5. #180
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Aw, thanks you guys.

    And I agree with rose! NEVER EVER EVER disbeleive a child.

    I hope things get better for you rose.

  6. #181
    God/dess Will's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    Sometimes I hate therapy, but damn girl, if you can survive all that, I can survive figuring my brain out, whatever comes out of it.
    Therapy can be really hard, but it’s better than the sh*& sitting in your head and festering, then manifesting as self destructive behavior. Look at the numbers so far in the poll, about half the people responding have had some type of sexual abuse happen to them in their life time and we know it’s far more common than society wants to admit or deal with. All the more sad, is people who have had such events often feel very isolated and alone, as if they were the only person such terrible crap has happened to, when it’s really the reverse! Ironic and terrible.
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  7. #182
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Ok so here I go....


    Back when I was in upstate NY, I was in college #3. I would take the bus to and from school because I lost my car. I would get home around 11pm every night. From there I'd walk about 12 blocks through duplexish suburbs to my apartment that I shared with two women and a kiddo. Well across the street from where I got off the bus was a bar. A guy came out of there as I was getting off the bus and crossed the street in front of me. I really didn't think anything of it. He was walking ahead of me by about a block. When we got to my road, I was still about a block and a half from home. He was then half a block ahead. He turned into the little walkway to one house and I expected him to go inside. But as I passed, he turned around and came up behind me. He grabbed me and yanked backwards until I landed on my ass on the sidewalk (and re-broke my tail bone). He tried to cover my mouth from behind me and fumbled at my pants as I tried to scream and kick and hit and anything. He wreaked of booze and cigs. I must have put up too much of a fight for his drunk ass because he finally let go and ran off. I ran home screaming for help (and got nothing, not even a look out the windows of the neighbors) and called 911. The cops found him and I ID'd him and then was told that they couldn't let me press charges "because he was drunk" and he was only held overnight in jail while I was in the ER for the whole night because of my back. That man was never punished. Never.
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  8. #183
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    *hugs Paige* Isn't it great that if the victim is drunk, we're responsible for another's actions, but if the attacker is drunk, well, come on-how could he be responsible for thier own actions? I just don't get people's rationalizations...

  9. #184
    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    I have not been raped and as far as I know, I have not been assaulted/molested either but it burns me to the core thinking about what such hateful evil fucking people did to so many innocent human beings that have shared their stories here. I think all of you are living testaments to bravery and you are all the ultimate survivors.

  10. #185
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    I saw my biological dad a couple weeks ago, against my better judgement. I wanted my SO to see how he lived so I could never end up the way my dad is. I went to my dad's house, the house I was molested in for years, but my dad wasn't there. I went to his church and once his service was over he came down to talk to me. He grabbed my hand just like he did when I was a little girl and all I could do was go with him. I froze inside, because in that moment I saw the evil that is inside my father, the evil I have been running from my whole life.

    We went to eat some dinner, and even though I had my SO with me, my father thought we were on a date together. Father and daughter, on an actual date. I didn't have the guts to tell him we weren't, and that thinking that was fucking sick. I just sat there listening to him talk for half an hour. He kept telling me he loved me over and over, and I told him I loved him back. I wanted to scream at him, or do something to show him that even now what he did to me growing up still messes with me, but I didn't.

    I haven't forgiven him for what he did to me and my sister, and for years I've just been waiting on him to die, but I can't actually do that. He's my dad and he's sick, and nobody else will take care of him so I'm stuck doing it. I hate him, but I can't just leave him on his own living the way he does.

    Rock and a hard place. That's where I'm at. Fuck....

  11. #186
    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    ^^^^welcome to the world of family.

    my father beat me for many years and is a raging alcoholic, and yet, even though he is old and sick, i cant just cut him out of my life...even though i want to.

  12. #187
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    [QUOTE=holiday;1312797]

    I have never been raped, although twice I've avoided it by using the method of it won't be rape if I just stop saying no. /QUOTE]

    Oh, I feel you on that one.

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  13. #188
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Quote Originally Posted by dollyrocker View Post
    Yes. Molested for 10 years (that I can remember).... by my own mother. As cold as it sounds, I can honestly say that the day she dies will be the HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
    ^^^I've read through this whole thread wondering if there would be one other person out there like me. My mother sexually abused me for YEARS as a kid as well as physically and emotionally abusing me. She'd rip clothes off of me and tell me I was a whore and to go change, only to rip more off of me and cut my clothes up in front of me. Stick my head in the toilet and have me repeat after her "I'm a little shit" *flush* I was told every day that I was a whore. She exposed me many times while ripping off clothes in front of my father. Oh. And this was on the way to church many-a-time.

    I left home at 17 absolutely ASHAMED of my sexuality. To this day I have only been with one man because I am afraid that if I am with more than one that I will be a whore. I want to cry when people tell me about their amazing sexual experiences because I don't have much to share. I won't let myself.

    Sad thing is, that my mom was sexually abused by her father and never got help for it. She just passed down the shame. Thanks, mom.
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    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
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  14. #189
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    ^^^I've read through this whole thread wondering if there would be one other person out there like me. My mother sexually abused me for YEARS as a kid as well as physically and emotionally abusing me. She'd rip clothes off of me and tell me I was a whore and to go change, only to rip more off of me and cut my clothes up in front of me. Stick my head in the toilet and have me repeat after her "I'm a little shit" *flush* I was told every day that I was a whore. She exposed me many times while ripping off clothes in front of my father. Oh. And this was on the way to church many-a-time.

    I left home at 17 absolutely ASHAMED of my sexuality. To this day I have only been with one man because I am afraid that if I am with more than one that I will be a whore. I want to cry when people tell me about their amazing sexual experiences because I don't have much to share. I won't let myself.

    Sad thing is, that my mom was sexually abused by her father and never got help for it. She just passed down the shame. Thanks, mom.
    That is really awful, sweetpea. I am so sorry to hear you went through that. You used to live/work around here, right? It's too bad you're not here anymore... if you were, you'd get this in person:


    Just a few minutes ago, and by pure coincidence, I stumbled across something on the internet that reminded me of how I'm still really fucked up over all the stuff that's happened to me. I am not, like, emotionally capable of going into detail, but I do really want to explain the part that's bothering me, just to get it off my chest.

    So okay. The worst thing about me is how depressive I am. Not worst as in blameworthy or culpable, but worst as in most wretched, most miserable, and definitely most dangerous. Like, I'm cute and funny and stuff, but the creepy thing about me is that I know I am a deeply scary kid who, for some inexplicable reason, feels compelled to be really, really self-destructive. When I get depressed, I don't sit in the dark and cry, or eat a lot, or anything like that. Instead, I start doing really dangerous things. Like gashing my wrists open, or abandoning my home and not telling anyone where I'm going, or getting involved with drugs/ drug dealing, or meeting strange men in secluded places under dubious circumstances.

    Anyway, I never intended to have sex, or do anything sexy, with any of these people. But I wasn't suprised, either, after things happened. I kind of... liked?... no, that's not the right word... felt satisfied? by the fact that I had gotten what I deserved, or something. But I didn't really like it, of course. I just felt like a hole had been filled by the punishment. I was first sexually assaulted at 17. Rape is a weird word for it, I can't make myself say rape. I've considered that my self-destructive behavior might have something to do with the first assault but that almost seems like a cop-out.


    So yeah... when people say "it's not the victim's fault," I believe that's true, in all cases but my own.


    Anyway, sorry about the utter unintelligibility of this post, all my words bleed together when I talk about stuff like this. Thanks for reading, though.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
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  15. #190
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    for all of you....
    I can't even begin to respond or individually address any of this. I'm just really saddened by it and hope that each and every victim here can heal somehow. And if you are reading this and you are a victim of rape or assault and haven't come out and said anything or admitted to anyone what happened to you, my heart goes out to you too.

  16. #191
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Okay, I guess the first time I've ever admitted this to anyone but myself... I'm not even sure if I've been raped or not. I was a dumbass and took two somas (in my apartment with my ex-bf's dad) and woke up with a skirt (that I hadn't been wearing before) as a dress... in bed (my last memory was sitting with him on my couch)... alone the next morning. I didn't do a rape test (because I was young and fucking stupid), but I spent a lot of time feeling myself (no soreness) and smelling myself (no scent of sex or condom... just me). So yea, I'm not sure... he probably just molested me.
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  17. #192
    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    ^^^I've read through this whole thread wondering if there would be one other person out there like me. My mother sexually abused me for YEARS as a kid as well as physically and emotionally abusing me. She'd rip clothes off of me and tell me I was a whore and to go change, only to rip more off of me and cut my clothes up in front of me. Stick my head in the toilet and have me repeat after her "I'm a little shit" *flush* I was told every day that I was a whore. She exposed me many times while ripping off clothes in front of my father. Oh. And this was on the way to church many-a-time.

    I left home at 17 absolutely ASHAMED of my sexuality. To this day I have only been with one man because I am afraid that if I am with more than one that I will be a whore. I want to cry when people tell me about their amazing sexual experiences because I don't have much to share. I won't let myself.

    Sad thing is, that my mom was sexually abused by her father and never got help for it. She just passed down the shame. Thanks, mom.
    I'm really sorry to hear about this, but am also glad to hear from someone else out there whos gone through the same thing, as I've never met/heard from anyone who has. My mom too was psychically and emotionally abusive in addition to sexually abusive. I have a LOT of self esteem issues thanks to her. Somehow I can pretend to be confident at work, but in 'real life' I'm reeeally self concious and even paranoid of other people.

    My mom sent me a lot of mixed messages, because on one hand she'd constantly tell me how 'sexy' I was (this started around age 4, talk about creepy), molested me, and even encouraged me to act provocatively towards guys. I had a stalker at age 10, and she thought it was just GREAT that this middle aged perv was lusting after me. She actually got mad that I was creeped out. Yet at the same time, she would constantly tell me horror stories to try and scare me - she'd always say things like "Don't go out with your friends or you'll get raped". Everything seemed to be "you'll get raped if......." She instilled a lot of fear in me which I still haven't shaken.

    If you ever need someone to vent/relate to you're more than welcome to pm me. *hugs*

  18. #193
    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    So yeah... when people say "it's not the victim's fault," I believe that's true, in all cases but my own.
    No, it wasn't your fault. Theres NO SUCH THING as the victim/survivors fault, ever. If there were, that would mean the victimizer had the right.

  19. #194
    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    My mother moved one of my molestor's INTO OUR HOUSE after I told her what he did, beat me almost every day of my minor life, let my father beat me within an inch of my life when he was around, excused the other molestor for being "slow" (funny, he knew what sex was and when to do it and not get caught), told me after the ordeal was over that she knew the person had raped me and gotten me pregnant and robbed me for all I had when I supported her anyway.

    I haven't shed a tear since she died.
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  20. #195
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Oh jeez. This thread is...I'm so sorry that so many have been through so much.

    I marked 'attempted'...a 'friend' and two aquaintances were high or drunk or something, and two held me down while the other was going to rape me. They had a camera set up to film it...I think I scared my friend with my screaming and anger, he let up briefly and I RAN, no shoes or underwear.

    I consider myself very lucky.

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  21. #196
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    By the way, i want to apologize for my goofy, knee jerk, anger reaction post a few pages ago. It was sorta out of frustration at reading this stuff. I meant no harm by it, but it was terribly inappropriate.

  22. #197
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    I wish I could personally respond to each and every person who responded to this thread. Each and every one of your stories moved me. I cried for each and every one of you. I'm serious about that... I couldn't read a single story in here without bawling. I don't really know how to compose this post... I don't know what to say, because there are no words to say that are right for this.

    As for me, I feel a little more unburdened by sharing my experiences with you. Thank you for letting me share, thank you for being there for me, thank you for letting me cry.

    Thank you for letting this thread be what it needed to be, and not letting it disolve into petty fights.

    To all those who answered the poll but didn't feel comfortable posting in the thread, I am with you too. I'm here for anyone who wants to talk. PM's or on the phone or right here in this thread.

    I'm heartsick. I guess there's not a smiley for that. So I hope my words are enough.

  23. #198
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    I was sexually assaulted/raped by an ex-boyfriend. I won't go into the details because they are not important.

    However, because of feeling like I was such a bad person and I should have been stronger, I almost killed myself. By not telling anyone what happened, I let the tearing by the rape fester into almost full blown PID...where my fevers were hitting almost 104.5 and I couldn't even gently lay my hand on my abdomen because of the pain...the discharges were terrible and yet I was still afraid to say anything because I didn't want my parents to hate me. My mom finally rushed me to the doctor and I ended up being on massive meds and all...but even then, I still had a hard time admitting I was raped ("That doesn't happen to people like me...").

    I went through therapy for many, many years. I started therapy due to a severe eating disorder (bulimia/anorexia) and wouldn't you know that, although not the root of the problem, being raped and not "dealing" with it was a HUGE factor in my ED. It was something I could control out of the feeling of being out of control.

    My life is much more different now. One thing I learned from the rape experience is trusting my gut instinct. If I had listened to my instincts, it never would have happened, because I would not have been in the situation. That is not to say that I am at fault for the rape...I'm not...HE is. However, I am responsible for ignoring my klaxon horns screaming to leave...and I didn't. It has made me very aware that when your mind/body/soul/etc tells you to MOVE or LEAVE or whatever, you do it. And, that is what I now do...and that is what I teach my daughter to do. Never, ever ignore that little voice that will not steer you wrong.

    I'm so sorry to hear some of your experiences. It is a horrible thing to go through.

    I'm sending you all a . Being raped is definitely not the end of the world...and by learning that you are still a wonderful, whole human being and that the world is still a magical place in which you learn and grow...you can regain some of that love/light/life/innocence/etc that you feel you lost as a result of the rape.

    My hope for all of you who have experienced an assault/rape/child molestation peace within your life to find yourselves. There is nothing wrong with you and you did nothing wrong. If anyone needs an ear to listen (or eyes to read) please do not hesitate to PM me.


  24. #199
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    My heart goes out to all on here. I have never been raped or sexually assaulted, but we've had sexual predators in my family and I've seen the devastation sexual assault/rape can wreak.

    Whilst rape cannot always be prevented, you can try to minimize your chances of it occuring. I encourage all women to take a self defense course, and yes, as stated above ALWAYS listen to your gut instinct. You may also want to check out the book The Gift of Fear, with regards to this.
    Last edited by Circe; 12-08-2007 at 08:33 AM.

  25. #200
    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Have you ever been raped?

    Deep breath....ok...... i was *gulp* raped. i have never admitted that to myself.
    the guy was a friend of a friend who liked me. he said he needed to talk, so i told him we could sit out on my porch.

    as soon as he got to my house he pushed his way into the house, and i should have known he was gonna start some some shit.
    after we talked for a few minutes he forced me into the wall, kissing me so hard and groping. i tried to tell him to stop, but his mouth was over mine.
    at this point i still didnt know he was serious, and figured he would stop soon. he didn't and carried me into my room, pulled up my skirt, and attempted oral on me.
    i pushed him away, and ran. he caught me, threw me on the bed, and sat on me.
    he put his dick in my face, and i put my teeth on it. his raised his hand and said he would slap the shit out of me if i bit him. no man had ever raised a hand to me, and for the first time, i was scared. i remembered he said that if he wanted me to "taste his dick" then i was gonna taste it.

    from there it's blurry......but i do know at some point since i had had so many sex partners before him, i said "what the fuck? what's one more?" and stopped fighting him.
    it was new years.

    i later found out he had a disease, and was going around raping younger girls.
    i also later found out he had given me an std not hiv, but i still think about it everyday, that why didn't i take him serious? why didn't i fight him like i was fighting for my life?

    im tramatized and angry, and im just now realizing it. wow.
    Last edited by kikidejavu; 03-23-2008 at 11:51 PM. Reason: more detail remembered
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