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Thread: My asshole hero

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    My asshole hero

    Is this wrong? Apparently I've been a bit controversial lately LOL(not just on SW, but EVERYWHERE)...

    As you know, my friend Revolution(another SWer) and I often participate in political campaigns and events for the Democrat party. (I'm actually a Libertarian, but anyway) Revolution has a female friend who I'll call "Anna Hiller." Anna is very outspoken and speaks her mind...even though she sometimes encounters people that disagree with her. Sometimes she takes it too far...for example, she tends to drink a lot and when she drinks, she gets rather obscene and belligerent. One time, speaking her mind while drunk at a political event got her fired from her job as campaign coordinator!(but she bounced back a few months later) I've been trying to be more like this in the past year, and I'm happy to say that I've made progress. But overall she is very blunt, an "asshole" in a good way(but sometimes bad...such as when she got fired from her job). That is why she is my asshole hero.

    This weekend, Revolution and I attended a party at the new apartment of a girl we worked with on a political campaign. Anna was there, drinking as usual. Near the end of the night, the town auditor, a guy named "Cole" that everyone there was friends with, stopped by the party. Now Anna's never met this guy before in her life. As everyone's saying "hi" to him, Anna simply says, "Hi, I'm Anna and I'm drunk, you're probably some kind of asshole, but anyway that's okay" and we all started laughing! We couldn't believe she said that! Now her "you're probably some kind of asshole" line is a favorite amongst us campaign kids. A few of Revolution's campaign friends have been pranking each other with that line as an inside joke.

    Okay so maybe Anna's line to the town auditor was a little tooooo asinine, esp since this auditor guy is in charge of a lot of jobs Anna might be looking for...but on the other hand, she gave me a great line to use when I want to be a real asshole to some guy I dislike! For example, my cheating ex...PERFECT line to use if I run into him somewhere! "Hi I don't know you but you're probably an asshole..." and it would not only insult him, but imply that I don't even think enough of him to remember who he is! Haha.

    Okay maybe Anna gets herself in trouble for being an asshole, but she's still better-off than how I was a few years ago, back when I wasn't assertive enough. As much as Anna might have burned bridges jobwise by saying that to the auditor...she still has an overall easier time finding jobs than I did a few years ago, back when I was shy and didn't know how to sell myself to employers. For example, you don't hear anyone telling ANNA that "assertiveness training would do her good" the way SWers told me last year. I wouldn't do EVERYTHING that Anna does, but overall I like her outgoing say-how-it-is demeanor. I love meeting people that are a "bitch" in a good way! LOL.

    Does anyone know anyone like this? Any funny stories to share about them? Anyone agree that sometimes it's empowering to be a bitch?

  2. #2
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    That will be funny until "youth" wears off and sexual attraction fades. Then she will be jobless and abrasive. Imagine her pushing a grocery cart full of her worldly possessions in ten years.

  3. #3
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Ah. Now I understand why the US government is such a joke these days.

    How about meeting someone who is civil and polite these days. It is getting rarer and rarer.

  4. #4
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    I don't know. Sometimes people who are too passive do end up needing to work on aggression to find balance, but long term hopefully one is striving for balance, assertiveness (being able to express what you want while still respecting other's boundaries and wants). I suppose having an aggressive hero for a while could be useful for some as a role model. As long as it is not a permanent role model, it could work.

  5. #5
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    That will be funny until "youth" wears off and sexual attraction fades. Then she will be jobless and abrasive. Imagine her pushing a grocery cart full of her worldly possessions in ten years.
    Really? I understand that she will continue to burn bridges if she keeps running her mouth, but she has always seemed to bounce back and get jobs...for example, if she burns bridges in "B" County, she'll just look for political jobs in the nearby "M" County or Philadelphia County. Yeah she was unemployed for 3 months this past summer from the time she got fired from the campaign before getting hired for another campaign's finance department, but her unemployment stint was waaay shorter than some of mine have been in the past(when I use the term "employment," I'm talking about things I can put on a resume...therefore I'm not counting dancing or babysitting). I wonder if perhaps her aggressiveness and passion for politics helps to somewhat make up for her obscene boldness.

    As far as her looks and age...she's 31 years old(although she looks and acts younger) and average looking, so I don't think she's capitalizing on sexual attractiveness or youth. Just to let you know.

    My friend Revolution and I were talking about her this morning...he's still laughing over the "I don't know you, but you're probably an asshole" line LOL. He's starting to wonder when she'll permanently burn bridges, too.

    I do view Anna as a "hero" in the sense of being assertive and opinionated, and she gives me good ideas for what to say to someone that I'm INTENTIONALLY trying to insult(e.g., cheating ex boyfriend), but don't worry...I don't agree with everything she thinks. For example, last summer she gave me this half-drunken elitist lecture about how I shouldn't feel the need to cocktail waitress at such a "bad" place like a strip club, or to overwork myself with 3 jobs. She doesn't understand what it's like to be poor, and she also doesn't understand what it's like to work 2-3 jobs to desperately avoid becomming poor again...this is because she's always had people who would let her move in without paying rent for 4 months, etc...but I haven't had it nearly as easy as her. So yeah, there's a few things that I don't view to be very heroic about Anna lol...

  6. #6
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I don't know. Sometimes people who are too passive do end up needing to work on aggression to find balance,
    Yes that is pretty much what I've spent the last year doing. I've written off the "friends" that were condescending and tended to step on me a lot. I've also befriended more people that are bold and "bitches" in the positive, empowering sense of the word. That's what I'm going through.

  7. #7
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    I dunno. I think there is a big difference between assertive and asshole or bitch. I don't think there is ever a good reason to be an asshole to someone.
    Likewise, I don't ever see a reason to intentionally insult a person. In yoru cheating ex bf example, the way I see it is if a person is a loser, why give them any of your valuable time? They aren't worth it, and they don't deserve it.

  8. #8
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Hmm, how do I explain this.

    Yes, there is a big difference between being assertive (the balance point) and aggressiveness.

    It isn't that being an aggressive asshole is good as such. It is that people that are very passive sometimes are that way because they live in a state of deep seated emotional fear, a kind of emotional paralysis. Getting past that can involve practicing letting their anger out, taking risks, even going too far for a period in their lives. I suppose it would be best done with a therapist in a group, but regardless, it's understandable why in trying to find balance, a person can swing a bit too strongly the other way for a time. Hope that makes sense.

  9. #9
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    I dunno. I think there is a big difference between assertive and asshole or bitch. I don't think there is ever a good reason to be an asshole to someone.
    Likewise, I don't ever see a reason to intentionally insult a person. In yoru cheating ex bf example, the way I see it is if a person is a loser, why give them any of your valuable time? They aren't worth it, and they don't deserve it.

    Great post Kaylinn!! To the OP...The journey from "Doormat" to "Endless Babble-prattle-bobblehead doll" to "Unmitigated Bitch" is a long road....might I suggest getting off at the "Fun chick who talks about cool things" exit.

  10. #10
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    I understand how you could think what she's doing is good Philly. But as 'good' as she's doing, you could also do a lot better doing it the right way.

    Yeah, she may be able to move on to other places after she burns bridges, but why go through that hassle? You're putting extra drama and stress in your life where you don't need it. And that's not healthy.

    There is a way to be assertive and likeable without being an asshole. I understand that people have taken advantage of your passive nature and you want to change that. But why burn bridges? A truly intelligent person knows how to be assertive and fierce while BUILDING bridges instead of burning them. You can get there. Your best bet would be to read books on assertiveness and dealing with people.

  11. #11
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Yeah I kinda already know that there's a difference between being assertive and pushing it too far, i.e. being an asshole. I also understand that although Anna will probably easily switch townships or counties for her political jobsearch, that she's still burning bridges.

    I wouldn't follow Anna's ways EXACTLY. For example, I know not to say the "I don't know you, but you're probably an asshole" line to the town auditor. However, I wouldn't mind saying it one bit to a true asshole that doesn't have any effect on jobs or anything important...people like a cheating ex, for example.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn
    Likewise, I don't ever see a reason to intentionally insult a person. In yoru cheating ex bf example, the way I see it is if a person is a loser, why give them any of your valuable time? They aren't worth it, and they don't deserve it.
    I agree with you that it wouldn't be worth it to go out of my way and contact someone that I think is a loser. What I mean is: I wouldn't go out of my way to make contact with and say this to the cheating ex bf...but if I randomly ran into him somewhere and he initiates smarting off to me(knowing him, something he'd be likely to do), the "I don't know you, but you're probably an asshole" line would work perfect. By saying "I don't know you", I would be implying that he's not worthy of me remembering nor spending time thinking about. Sure saying "I don't know you" to the ex would be a LIE, but it's funny! That is the very reason why Anna is my asshole hero...because in any event that I WANT to be an asshole, such as needing a good comeback line, I can borrow one of her lines. She has many.
    Last edited by PhillyDancer1982; 12-05-2007 at 02:59 PM. Reason: grammar

  12. #12
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    You can get there. Your best bet would be to read books on assertiveness and dealing with people.
    At this point I think I'd rather WRITE a book than read one. Just because I take humor in Anna's empowering asshole sayings, doesn't necessarily mean that I'm still unassertive. I wouldn't call it boasting to say that I've become a lot more like Anna in the last year(likewise, I've also hung out around Anna a lot more in the last year! lol. well...until she preached about how I shouldn't waitress at a club, but even now I still talk to her here and there)

    On a side note, it'll be interesting to see what funny stuff she says at the Democrat meeting tonight. Last year, she dropped a lot of F-bombs but everyone found her genuinely hilarious anyway.

  13. #13
    Veteran Member Toki's Avatar
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    I admit it feels good to act like an asshole/bitch sometimes, but you really have to chose when and where to do that. It's obviously not the way you want to act all the time, but it sounds like you understand that. It's funny sometimes, though, in the right situation.

  14. #14
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    ^ Absolutely! Sometimes it's even funny to watch somebody be an asshole in the "wrong" situation, such as when Anna said that line to the auditor at her friend's apartment party. Not that I would want to be in Anna's shoes at that moment of time though.

  15. #15
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My asshole hero

    UPDATE: At last week's Democrat meeting, Anna surprisingly didn't talk as much as usual! I think she's trying to keep her behavior in check. But on the other hand, my friends STILL joke about Anna's "I don't know you but you're an asshole" comment. On Saturday night, I got a text message from Revolution saying, "The 'I don't know you but you're an asshole' line is reaching its 1 year anniversary tonight!" LOL.

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