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Thread: Friends Who Lie

  1. #1
    Senior Member Hidendragon75's Avatar
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    Default Friends Who Lie

    It's kind of a vague question, but how do you deal with a friend who blatantly lies to you?

    I'm in the midst of a situation with a friend who lied to me because they were doing something they knew I would not like, which is true but the lying is the core of whats really getting to me.

    Lying really damages the trust and respect I have for a person, and Im not really ready to hear any apologizes, especially 2 minutes after they deny lying and try act like its not that big of a deal.
    I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
    - Jack Handey

    If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
    - Jack Handey

  2. #2
    Featured Member desavirsire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    Well obviously I have no idea what they lied to you about but my theory is that real friends don't lie. Obviously we all tell a little lie once in awhile but if someone is really my friend I expect the truth from them 99% of the time wheather it is good or bad. Acquaintences lie yes, but real friends no.

  3. #3
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    First I am sorry.

    Second has this person done this before?

    I for one can't stand liars and/or two faced people. Either you are my friend and be upfront with me and I will respect you and treat you the same or see ya I don't need bull shit.

    I would explain to the person how you feel and if they explain why and you feel it's ok and your relationship will recover then cool but if not then so be it.

  4. #4
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    I cant stand lies. I think you should tell your friend/s that you know they lied, and that you know they didnt want to upset you, but you really would just rather have to truth. Some people think that a white lie is better for other people, but make clear you are not that kind of a person.
    that really sucks, i am sorry




  5. #5
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    The question is kind of strange. I mean people lie. Anyone that has really never lied, is a liar. So the real question is simple. Are you willing to put up with it? Do you have the balls to call them out, and accept that their answer may be another lie? or an excuse. Just do it if you can't accept it.

  6. #6
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    It would bother me, especially if it was someone who I trusted and thought trusted me. Like, what? Your friend didn't trust in your friendship enough to think that you could handle the truth? That just sucks.

  7. #7
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    I get litle white lies at times, but i am not sure about the OP's situation. Some lies are very damaging, while others i have looked at and just shook my head and laughed.

    Yea i have lied. And to a good friend recently. She wanted to go out to a club, i wanted to stay home. I told her i was expecting company. And damn if SHE did not show up....Yep kinda makes you think twice about lies.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Hidendragon75's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    Nope, first time and I called them on it of course and what bothered me was now they are trying to turn it around on me like I am out of line for being pissed off.

    Quote Originally Posted by High_Heel_Lover View Post
    First I am sorry.

    Second has this person done this before?

    I for one can't stand liars and/or two faced people. Either you are my friend and be upfront with me and I will respect you and treat you the same or see ya I don't need bull shit.

    I would explain to the person how you feel and if they explain why and you feel it's ok and your relationship will recover then cool but if not then so be it.
    I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
    - Jack Handey

    If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
    - Jack Handey

  9. #9
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    Blatant liars? Caught in a lie and still trying to deny it? I ditch them immediately.
    Last edited by Bella21; 12-05-2007 at 02:48 PM.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member the_dfb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by Hidendragon75 View Post
    It's kind of a vague question, but how do you deal with a friend who blatantly lies to you?

    I'm in the midst of a situation with a friend who lied to me because they were doing something they knew I would not like, which is true but the lying is the core of whats really getting to me.

    Lying really damages the trust and respect I have for a person, and Im not really ready to hear any apologizes, especially 2 minutes after they deny lying and try act like its not that big of a deal.

    deffo don't cut the friendship. in some way your friend lied to you out of consideration for your feelings, not realizing that you would find out and that would hurt your feelings even more. she took a gamble and bet on the losing route.


    i'd just be like "look we need to talk" tell your friend that it makes you feel like you can't tust them, bu you don't want to feel like that, 'cos you value that person's opinions/thoughts/etc and you'd rather her just tell you the truth and piss you off that way than lie, have you find out, and piss you off this way.

    usually common sense shit like that patches shit up for me. friends are friends- they all do some dumb shit sometimes, but hey, we're all guilty of it at some point or another. friendships are built to withstand a lot of bullshit.

  11. #11
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    It really depends on how they respond to being caught in the lie.

    My (now ex) best friend lied to my face and was caught in a lie. I didn't appreciate it, so I calmly told her I was hurt, and to please respect me enough not to lie to my face again. Just tell me the truth.

    Oh boy. She went off on me. On the total defense.... started telling me how I ruined her day, bringing up things from years ago to hurt me, etc. She turned into a monster over something so trivial: me asking her to tell the truth.

    That day the 11 year friendship ended. It's quite sad actually. She still bad mouths me to family and friends and I cannot understand what got into this girl. I'm hoping (since she's younger) that it's just a phase and maybe a bout of drugs that has changed her and one day we can at least be on speaking terms again, but not before some serious apologizing on her part.

    Sorry to digress, just giving you a scenario to back up my point ; it's all in the reaction.

  12. #12
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Friends Who Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by Hidendragon75 View Post
    It's kind of a vague question, but how do you deal with a friend who blatantly lies to you?

    I'm in the midst of a situation with a friend who lied to me because they were doing something they knew I would not like, which is true but the lying is the core of whats really getting to me.

    Lying really damages the trust and respect I have for a person, and Im not really ready to hear any apologizes, especially 2 minutes after they deny lying and try act like its not that big of a deal.
    Does their lie have anything to do with your or are you effected as a result of the lie? Are they just trying to keep their business to themselves or are they lying to you about something that will negatively impact you? If it something that involves you you need to confront them. If it doesn't really involve you, maybe they are embarrassed and want their privacy.

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