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Thread: my friend went to her first AA meeting

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Some of you may have read the thread I wrote about being concerned about my friend who has problems with alcohol. She just attended her first AA meeting and she even got up and spoke at it. I am so proud of her. She is unsure whether she wants to go back because she said it's quite religious and she isn't sure if it is the right program for her but im terribly proud that she is facing it.
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    AA is drenched in religion, but the support they provide can be very helpful to people.
    Last edited by SarahSynn; 12-05-2007 at 06:51 PM. Reason: typo!

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    There is as much or as little notion of religion in AA as you bring to the table; this is due to the ambiguity of the Higher Power as presented in the steps.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    sun child
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    I went to an AA meeting once and although I did not do the steps or continue to go to meetings, it helped me put my drinking into perspective and I have not since had a drink a work. It has helped many a friend of mine.

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
    There is as much or as little notion of religion in AA as you bring to the table; this is due to the ambiguity of the Higher Power as presented in the steps.
    One of the 12 steps is "accepting" this "higher power" before healing is completed. The addict isn't bringing that notion to the table, it's forced on them as part of the program.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    She hasn't had a drink since either. She came to visit me yesterday and she truly looked great. I haven't seen her so good in years. She said she is really constipated since she hasn't had a drink too.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    She is unsure whether she wants to go back because she said it's quite religious and she isn't sure if it is the right program for her but im terribly proud that she is facing it.
    Right on, jaz!

    I remember how concerned you were, and she's lucky to have you in her corner...

    The "God" word tends to scare people initially, given the punitive implications and/or their prior experiences with religious hypocrisy. In AA, it's phrased "God as we understood him" (versus the secular version), meaning that it's a profoundly personal choice.

    Your friend can choose whatever her "Higher Power" does/doesn't represent to her. I've had fellow 12-Steppers choose everything from Christ to Buddha to Neil Young or Mickey Mouse and beyond as their representation of a Higher Power.

    Personally, "the God thing" initially scared me straight out through the AA door and back to my drinking and drugging. I later returned to AA as "an addict-alcoholic agnostic with atheist leanings" (whatever the fuck that meant at the time ). Gradually, over time, I came to believe in a power greater than myself and/or Buzz--but I'm still not feeling the "old-bearded-judgmental-white-guy-in-the-sky" version!

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    zxcire
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    AA can be a wonderful tool in getting/staying sober. It can give a person a sense of meaning and belonging which can be hard to find elsewhere.

    I went to AA early in my sobriety and liked the sense of community I felt. It's amazing the isolation an addict can feel in the regular world. Even though I'm not religious and don't particularly agree with the AA philosophy, I was able to take something home with me from every meeting.

    It's a huge step. Good for her! And good for you for sticking by a friend!

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Budai View Post

    The "God" word tends to scare people initially, given the punitive implications and/or their prior experiences with religious hypocrisy. In AA, it's phrased "God as we understood him" (versus the secular version), meaning that it's a profoundly personal choice.

    Your friend can choose whatever her "Higher Power" does/doesn't represent to her. I've had fellow 12-Steppers choose everything from Christ to Buddha to Neil Young or Mickey Mouse and beyond as their representation of a Higher Power.


    DING! Correct! Bravo. One of my fave people is atheist but goes to AA. It isn't forced upon anyone. You can be your own higher power, or a tin can can be.... whatever works for you.
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahSynn View Post
    One of the 12 steps is "accepting" this "higher power" before healing is completed. The addict isn't bringing that notion to the table, it's forced on them as part of the program.
    that higher power can be anything that you believe in. there are also specifically atheist meetings.

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    Some of you may have read the thread I wrote about being concerned about my friend who has problems with alcohol. She just attended her first AA meeting and she even got up and spoke at it. I am so proud of her. She is unsure whether she wants to go back because she said it's quite religious and she isn't sure if it is the right program for her but im terribly proud that she is facing it.
    I'm glad to hear she is doing well. I did not know they throw religion in an AA meeting, why? Do they talk of God? A supreme being? That would be great for ALL who are believers in God, but what about those who are not?


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    zxcire
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela View Post
    I'm glad to hear she is doing well. I did not know they throw religion in an AA meeting, why? Do they talk of God? A supreme being? That would be great for ALL who are believers in God, but what about those who are not?

    Well, that's why they changed it from "God" to "God, as we understand him" (ie higher power).

    It irks me because at the core, yes they ARE a religious program. Also, though,like I said, as a non-religous-person I was still able to get a lot out of meetings.

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahSynn View Post
    One of the 12 steps is "accepting" this "higher power" before healing is completed. The addict isn't bringing that notion to the table, it's forced on them as part of the program.
    SS:

    IMO, it would be easier to make a frog shit flawless diamonds than to have the notion of a higher power "forced" onto a true alcoholic/addict.

    What I was actually "accepting" was not a "higher power" but, instead, the idea of my powerlessness over alcohol and/or drugs. That powerlessness was an essential lack of control that pervaded my entire life and justified my wrong-headed attempts to control other people, places and things while alcoholism and addiction ruled me.

    My "healing" is never "completed" because my recovery-in-sobriety is a daily, dynamic experience that requires my accepting my inability to drink and/or drug in moderation.

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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    I think AA is a religion unto itself, but if people are getting something out of it, then great!

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I think AA is a religion unto itself, but if people are getting something out of it, then great!
    "I never wanted a Guardian Angel. I didn't ask for one. One was assigned to me."
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    that higher power can be anything that you believe in. there are also specifically atheist meetings.
    That's what they tell you initially. Its a fucking cult.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    That's what they tell you initially. Its a fucking cult.
    Is there another program where people get together without all the god shite and rehashing the past?

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    That's what they tell you initially. Its a fucking cult.
    AA isn't asshole-proofed...

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Maimed View Post
    Is there another program where people get together without all the god shite and rehashing the past?
    That's not even what AA is about. Its not about "rehashing" the past. Its about kissing ass and how the program is everything, and they you were born to serve the program.

    However, it does have many positive aspects. So do Republicans, and I'll be damned if I ever accepted their entire doctrine for the few things I agree with.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    My friend was raised Baptist and her parents were ministers. Her family had a falling out with their church and they were shunned from going to the church. So i think that's why she was hesitant. Her husband has also been raised as a very strict catholic and he was hesitant about the religious aspect of it.

    I believe in god.

    I don't know enough about AA to form an opinion as to what the program is really about. This is more about her making a good step in the right direction towards sobriety.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    One more thing. What are all your opinions on complete abstinence vs moderation?

    I know AA's policy is complete abstinence and I think that is part of the reason that she doesn't want to go down that road. She said she wants to be able to drink at important social occasions but not drink as she was before - everyday at home, all day and night. Would this be possible?
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    My opinion is that a religious person with pre-instilled faith will have a smoother transition. AA encourages her god. It discourages nihilistic skeptical atheists like me. Your friend actually has a chance, and something to strive for. She has a family. Who cares what a crazy, barren, atheist bitch does...............

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Who cares what a crazy, barren, atheist bitch does...............
    I would imagine a long list of people care, Kat.

    You express yourself on SW with disarming candor and that trademark sense of humor of yours that cuts through bullshit like a light saber. I look forward to your posts because you're typically principled, intelligent and outspoken...

    OTOH, you're willing to take risks by showing your vulnerability and self-awareness and don't appear concerned about style points or tarnishing your SW rep as a hip, sharp, bad-ass bitch...

    So there! Tough titty! I care...

    P.S. Don't even mention "crazy" unless you've met my family

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    That's not even what AA is about. Its not about "rehashing" the past. Its about kissing ass and how the program is everything, and they you were born to serve the program.

    However, it does have many positive aspects. So do Republicans, and I'll be damned if I ever accepted their entire doctrine for the few things I agree with.

    I found it highly annoying and didn't stay very long....my question was regarding a program where people could meet other people and work on the future. While I rarely ski Peru or get wild shitty drunk anymore....meeting people with other stuff going on wouldn't be the worst thing.

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    Default Re: my friend went to her first AA meeting

    I would say just like smoking, complete abstinence is what is required if she was an addict. And just like smoking, one always leads to ten eventually .. the old "I'll just have one. I'll be fine...." argument NEVER EVER works for addicts.

    Alcohol and her are done for good in this lifetime, unfortunately.

    Unless she finds a new addiction to replace it with thus won't relapse.


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