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Thread: My mom (sorta long)

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    Default My mom (sorta long)

    I'm so upset with my mom right now. I'll give you a little story to tell you why.

    She worked really hard as a single mom raising me and going to school to become a nurse. She finally became a nurse and works very hard. 10 hour shifts all the time. She has always worked at nursing homes. There are always problems at these places because there is always some bullshit politics there. For example, if the DON (dean of nursing) favors a person they will get better shifts or approved for double shifts etc. Alot of favoritism everywhere.

    So now my mom just got fired from her job right before Christmas. It was over a patient missing her surgery (not life threatening surgery) because no one else checked the outgoing patients book to prepare them for surgery. The family got pissed and my mom gets fired.

    Now, because of her bad credit, unfilled taxes (owing money on those unpaid taxes), and serious lack of savings her and her current live in bf are moving to this tiny little studio place that is about the size of my living room.

    I don't understand why she does this to herself? Like if she has an extra $400 on her paycheck she'll spend it all. She doesn't know the concept of saving or something?? She just bought an expensive tv for her bf as a gift knowing very well the amount almost equals her "savings". Why buy big ticket items when you have hardly any savings? She was poor most of her life and I don't understand why she continues to struggle eventhough she makes +80K a year.

    Someone shed some light on this please. I'm trying to not call her and yell at her telling her to get her shit straight so that she doesn't have to worry about money.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    I am unfortunately the same way about my money. I grew up on food stamps and welfare. But when I make good money I do spend it. 5 years of dancing and NOTHING saved up. I didn't mean not to save up it's just that I'm able to buy all the things I couldn't afford before. I always think to myself "Oh I'll make the money up when I work next." Easy come easy go I guess.

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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    I grew up poor and was on welfare and food stamps as a child and most of my teens years too. After my first attempt at dancing when I was 18 I failed. I spent every dollar I had after a good night and was almost homeless. I quit out of nowhere because the business was hard to handle.

    I never want to be poor again. So, I save money while living happily buying things I want and need. I just don't go all crazy with it.

    Is this the result of being poor the feeling to buy all the needs you can and not save?
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  4. #4
    zxcire
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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post

    Is this the result of being poor the feeling to buy all the needs you can and not save?
    I'm somewhere closer to the opposite end. I grew up way poor and I save my money almost compulsively. I mean I will buy nice things for myself and my husband, but only if I still have $--- that magical amount--- saved after the purchase.

    Maybe your mom just didn't save because she felt secure in her job, and didn't expect it to end and leave her broke. It's hard to save sometimes unless you have a picture in your head of what you are saving for--things or a safety net.

  5. #5
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    Im sorry. I know how f'ed up those nursing homes are. My guy is the administrator at one and gets sooo mad over some of the shit.

    I dont understand why we spend like we do. Im the same way altho this weekend hunny and I are setting up a strict budget because Im tired of living paycheck to paycheck and being in debt. Having a problem being able to make it to a doctors appoint because it was $200 and not having the OPTION to work is it. Im DONE. Seriously. DONE being broke. Id rather eat top ramen daily and put money into savings than have nothing.

    I guess its just a vicious cycle she has been unable to break. Like Kaia said - easy come, easy go. Not seeing the future. She may need a talking too but most likely shell say youre right, she needs to change and go right back to doing what shes always done... its had to break bad habits. Usually it takes something to make you really wake up...

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    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post

    Is this the result of being poor the feeling to buy all the needs you can and not save?
    From what I've seen, yes. Except in my case, I've seen it in the children of WW2. Those who came over from Europe as adults are still stuck in the "save every penny and waste nothing" mentality, but the ones who were kids.....hoo boy. My exes mom can't save money for shit. To make things worse, she hoards stuff too.
    \

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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    Usually it takes something to make you really wake up...
    I'm just scared at what that wake up call might be. I don't want my mom to become homeless. I asked her if she wanted to co-sign to move to a better place but she declined.

    Right now she's digging a hole. Her car needed to be fixed and that was a hefty unexpected bill for her and really set her back. If her bf wasn't there she would be one paycheck away from being homeless. That scares me that she doesn't have enough common sense to save for that rainy day.

    As a stripper I believe I have no job security. One month can be phenomenal and the next can be complete shit so I save what I can in case I need time off or I have a really bad month and overall security.

    I just don't understand why she wants to live month to month. Why she still juggles bills and stuff...why? There is no such thing as job security anymore anyways especially the kind of places she has been working.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Veteran Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    Spending $80K with nothing to show for it is a bitter pill to swallow. I don't know the details but my first guess is the live-in BF is a blood sucking leech.

    Now I feel like a troublemaker.

  9. #9
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    I dunno - luckily my wake up call was something somewhat minor.

    Its really a sink or swim situation.

    I honestly think it doesnt matter how much you harp on her - she wont change. Too set in her ways.... you can always try and hope.

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    Default Re: My mom (sorta long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ferret View Post
    Spending $80K with nothing to show for it is a bitter pill to swallow. I don't know the details but my first guess is the live-in BF is a blood sucking leech.

    Now I feel like a troublemaker.
    Well I'm glad you're wrong. He is actually is an LVN and she is an RN. Big pay difference between them. He's a nice guy and is good to her so I'm not worried out him being a leech.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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