Okay I don't remember why I thought of doing this but I just kind of put this together. Hope yall get a chuckle or two out of it!
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the club
Not a custie was stirring, not even for grub;
The stockings were stretched o’er each delicate leg,
Enticing the PLs to pay and to beg.
The dancers were waiting by the 2-for-1 signs,
While visions of dollar bills danced in their minds;
House Mom in her pimp hat, and the DJ in shades,
Were chatting above the hip-hop serenades
When out on the stage there strutted such a ho,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the deal, yo.
Away to the tiprail I flew like a flash,
Tore open my wallet and threw up some cash.
The lights beaming down on the babes down below
Gave to each bouncing bosom a rosy-red glow,
When, what to my wandering eyes should come in,
But a huge entourage, wearing each a huge grin,
With a little old man I could easily peg:
I knew in a moment it must be The Reg.
More rapid than eagles his favorites came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Jasmine! now, Lily! now, Willow and Krissy!
On, Roxy! on Stacey! on, Moet and Missy!
To the top of the stage! to the top of the pole!
Now grind away! grind away! grind away all!"
As quick as a newly-earned paycheck is spent
With one well-timed hustle, down to the last cent,
So into the VIP room the girls ran
With a giggle, and leading The Reg by a hand
And then, in a daze, I saw through the gauze curtain
Such bodies! Such beauties! Of that I was certain.
As I peered through the thin veil, I struggled to see,
What, within the club rules, was full debauchery.
The girls shimmied and swayed, from their hair to their feet,
And their faces in turn went from saucy to sweet;
Some girls kissed; some girls dropped it down, back to back,
Some girls bent far over, with a cheesy buttsmack.
The Reg’s eyes were twinkling, so pervy and merry!
The room smelled like roses, like vanilla, like cherry!
The floor was astrew with bikinis and bows,
As with each passing hour the girls misplaced their clothes.
The Reg merely watched, grinning with his white teeth,
And the dancers encircled his chair like a wreath;
He tipped girls with sweet faces and girls with flat bellies,
And girls who could shake it like bowls full of jelly.
He tipped slender and plump, tattooed and uninked,
(And most tips were really big-hearted, I think);
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Let the girls dance as if they had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, kept his eyes on their work,
And he sat on his hands; and he wasn’t a jerk.
Then finally, exhausted, he signalled to cease,
And bowing to each girl, giving each hand a kiss,
He returned to his entourage, gave them a nod,
And away they all left, leaving tips in a wad.
But I heard him exclaim, to the room full of honeys,
"Happy holidays all, and to all LOTS OF MONEY!"




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Glad it brought you some holiday cheer (now if it actually brought us holiday CASH then I might patent that ol' brain of mine!).
I believe you Dottie and you have my support 
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