OK…
I think it has finally happened. The time has finally come.
I mean, I know I have been harping about this since all the way back in season 2 with Clay Aiken (who, by the way, did an excellent job as my waiter at the Ruth Chris’ Steakhouse in St. Louis, MO.) But no one agreed. Whatever, blah blah blah, talent…bah!
Then there was Bo Bice. And Again, I said, STOP! Just @#%@@#% STOP! PLEASE!!!!! But no…somehow…we allowed this mess to continue.
Next, Along came Chris Daughtry. And I thought…this is it…someone will finally put us out of our misery. I mean, C’mon. No one can stand that guy. Well, apparently some people CAN stand that guy…because America ignored this problem like it was a Texas President going to war. And we continued to suffer.
Then, I heard Jordin Sparks’ “Tattoo”. And I cried the cry of the hopeless man. Because, despite the fact that it sucked more than a malfunctioning Kirby in overdrive, it had just enough prepubescent teen girl appeal to continue to abuse my air (and satellite) waves for many moons to come. I wrenched my hands and gnashed my teeth and I cried out aloud, “Dear Lord God! Will nothing show us the evil suckitude of American Idol? Lord, I beseech thee, send us proof that Simon Cowell and his ilk must be locked up for GOOD!”
*sigh* I am happy to announce that God hear my prayers that day. As this morning, I heard “Break Anotha” by Blake Lewis. And, as unequivocally and simply unbelievably BAD as this song is, I could not help but smile. Because, surely, no one, no matter HOW bad their taste, no matter HOW tonedeaf, no matter HOW clinically insane they might be, could possible think this song in any indication of anything other than the assertion that we should find this man, a brickwall and a 45 as quickly as possible. This is, without question, the WORST song I have any memory of hearing. (And I occasionally don’t turn the station when Nickelback comes on.) If you haven't heard this song, go download it.
Go ahead. Listen. I’ll wait. … See!?!?! Now, tell me, can we please please PLEASE STOP this crapfest that is American Idol once and for all. Look above…look at the progression…it can only get worse! I mean…Did you really think that one day, 5 years later, you would LONG for Clay Aiken!?!??
So, let’s find Simon Cowell and go Kimbo Slice on him. Whose with me?
-gen



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