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Thread: regular custy calling me by my real name

  1. #1
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    Default regular custy calling me by my real name

    I accidentally slipped up and let out my real name to a custy and now he's calling me by my real name which makes me uncomfy. Even though I sign emails to him with my stage name, he replies by calling me by my real name. What can I do to change this? Or should I even try and change it? I just don't like to mix my two worlds.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    ^^
    thats a tough one. by you telling him your real name that would make him feel that you like him (at least as a friend) and that he is on a more personal level with you. You dont want to alienate him if he is a good custie.

    Does he call you by your real name in the club?
    If so just say "hey can you use my stage name in the club coz if anyone overheard i would be uncomfortable as i dont want anyone else to know my real name".

    As for online that's a bit hard. Maybe you could say you hate your real name and love your stage name, u wish it were your real name. then maybe he might start calling you by the name u like.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    i would tell him that its your middle name and that you prefer your stage name. and that you actually don't go by your first name coz you don't like it, so it would be pointless and rude for him to use your middle name because your stage name is also your nickname for you friends. and tell him he is not respecting you and if he doesn't respect you, then you will get a bouncer to escort him out




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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    He hasn't called me by my real name even at the club. I thought that by signing an email to him with my stage name was hint enough that I wanted him to call me that.

    The way my name came out was during a dance I got my panties caught in my heels and I said "smooth, real name, smooth" to myself. Then he caught on. I don't know why but I feel annoyed he made a big deal out of it and then started using my real name.

    I can't tell him it's my middle name because I already told him the story about how my first 3 choices of names were taken.

    I think I'm just going to tell him that "I prefer everyone from the club call me X because it's hard to change in the club from out the club. Even other dances and the DJ call me by my stage name outside the club. And besides, I <3 the name X. Thanks!!!"

    But I don't know if that would make him feel alienated. He is an excellent customer. Awesome guy. I love spending time with him and he loves spending money on me.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    I think what you stated there is a great idea. he might not like it, but you don't have to always please him.




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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    Do you think that it might alienate him and should I just put up with it for the $$$ that comes my way?

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    I think I'm just going to tell him that "I prefer everyone from the club call me X because it's hard to change in the club from out the club. Even other dances and the DJ call me by my stage name outside the club. And besides, I <3 the name X. Thanks!!!"

    But I don't know if that would make him feel alienated. He is an excellent customer. Awesome guy. I love spending time with him and he loves spending money on me.
    Stick with that idea. There's no sense in feeling uncomfortable and there's no no sense in not being straight forward about it. If he's an adult, he really shouldn't feel alienated.

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    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    Do you think that it might alienate him and should I just put up with it for the $$$ that comes my way?
    A little regular customer input:

    I have been told the real names of a couple of girls, both times while having a smoke with them after the first time we lapdanced. Both times without any prompting on my part. My first response upon being told (and I think this would be a normal type of response) was: do you prefer that I use your real name or your stage name when addressing you? They preferred their real name. Had they preferred their stage name I would have honoured their wishes without giving it another thought. I'm a regular for one, and a semi-regular for the other.

    If your customer is someone who simply doesn't care about YOUR comfort level or preferences...how long will it be before he makes you uncomfortable in some other way? There have been a couple of thoughtful suggestions in the previous posts. Perhaps you could tailor one of them to your particular customer. In the long run, your personal integrity is worth way more than whatever this dude is paying you. But I'm betting that the guy will care about what you are thinking and feeling when it comes to the way he treats you. Just talk to him....like a real girl talking to a real guy. Find out if he's got it in him to be...you know, a real regular guy. Challenge him...to transform your mutual time together from good...to great!

    Comments offered respectfully.....Have a wonderful day!

  9. #9
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    why not just tell him that generally for privacy concerns you give out a "fake" real name. But now that he is your regular custy and you can trust him, you want him to know yoru real name. ( But now give him the fake one)

    Does that make sence? Im getting sleepy.

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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    I hate them calling me by my real name too. Because there's a girl at work who stagename's my real name anyway. I don't tell anymore. I know it's tricky at first, but know it's second nature to me to place my stage name into stories about my life, or third-personing like you did.

    I think your idea is a good one. I like Kaylinn's idea too, but it might not be convincing.

    In general though, I just hate regulars. I don't mind if they come to see me regularly in the club, but I never give them more time than that. It might hurt my income, but I think I do pretty well without the extra time. I used to do it, and yeah it could pay off...but they'd always ask for more, and more...And even if they didn't, I just feel like I can't give away too much of my real self. It makes me too uncomfortable. There's a guy at work who I know spent over $20000 on a girl from the club in the last six months. He basically asked for me to replace her, since she 'took advantage' of him. But I can't do more than dance for the guy at work. I just can't. (If you want that guy, I'll totally direct you to him...haha. But he's another one who just fucking grills the girls for the real deal in their lives. He's very tricky too. And then he fucking tells the other girls about the other one's lives. He'll deny that, but he told me way more than he should have about the girl who took all that money.)

  11. #11
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    ^^^^
    Molly, I'm the same about regulars, for the most part. Just can't do it, they suck the life out of me. There are the ones that come to see me at the club and spending on me regularly and we have a great time, and who may call or email about my schedule, but when they start "demanding" more attention or time, it's time to say bye bye. I have a life outside of work, yanno? I wouldn't say that it hurts my income, but I do have to be more careful of how I spend my time at work, i.e. I may have to do more dancing/asking for dances than the girl who sits and drinks with a regular for money, but at least I leave work at work every night.

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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    ^. I may have to do more dancing/asking for dances than the girl who sits and drinks with a regular for money, but at least I leave work at work every night.
    Exactly. I'm pretty sure I'm making very good money, comparatively. At least for the dancing. There are some girls who do outside stuff (any of it...shopping, dinner, or whatever else) and get more money, but that's a line too far for me. I don't even believe in emails/ phone numbers. I tell them when I work. They can find me then.

    It helps that I mostly work at a club with lots of out of town guys. They're the ones who come in, drop $500 on you, and you only spend five minutes asking for the dance, tops. That's my ideal.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    Maybe you can just tell him that being called by your real name at the club makes you uncomfortable...dancing is very seperate from the rest of your life, and you want to keep it that way. If he really is a "great guy" he should understand.

    I've only had one customer who ever knew my name, and that was because, after knowing each other for a year in the club, we did become friends in real life. For a while, he still came to see me at the club also, and always called me by my stage name while there. I really appreciated that.

    I've had a few customers who really pressed to know my name, until I gave them a fake name to shut them up. One in particular would then ALWAYS insist on using my "real" name...in front of other dancers and staff, in e-mails, in front of customers.

    Even though it wasn't my name, it made me really mad. It felt like a power-play, like he wanted to prove -- to everyone else and to me -- that he knew the "real" me. Not to mention safety issues -- and they are VERY important -- a name is a really personal thing. Having a stage name is part of having a seperate "stripper" personality that lets you think and act like a hustler.

    I think guys who want to know your real name know this, and they want to have that power over you. Grr. After that experience, I don't even bother giving a fake real name anymore. I just laugh at them when they ask.

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    If a guy just *has* to know my real name I give him my fake real name. I had a dude the other night demand that I give him my full name. Riiiiiiiight. I gave him my fake real first name and then told him my last name was the stage name I use.

    There have been a very select few people that actually know my real name, and they knew not to call me that at the club. I gave the whole, 'I like you and we're 'friends' but I don't want the 'regular' guys knowing my real name,' speech and they have all respected that. Just be stern with what you want and stick by it.

  15. #15
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: regular custy calling me by my real name

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Having a stage name is part of having a seperate "stripper" personality that lets you think and act like a hustler.

    I think guys who want to know your real name know this, and they want to have that power over you. Grr. After that experience, I don't even bother giving a fake real name anymore. I just laugh at them when they ask.
    to all of the above.

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