Hi, I have been lurking for a while but would like to say hi and get some feedback from you all.

I am coming into all of this at a much later time in my life, and probably from a vastly different perspective. All of a sudden, I find I went from 18 to 40, have been married 22 years, and sex has become routine, predictable and unromantic. As with many married men - I would find telltale signs that hubby would secretly check out porno on the internet or go to adult clubs, etc. Being an adventurous spirit, while hubby is away for two weeks on business - I decide to shake things up a bit and take matters into my own hands. I plan for his trip by spending months looking for and ordering any "video" I could find about "Stripping for your man", Pole Dancing, Lap dancing etc. (back then I didn't know about these sites and didn't find too much). But I did find a few to get me started.

Every night that he was away, I spent hours looking at websites looking for "sexy" outfits, and not the kind that you buy in your local department stores...or even Victoria's Secret. I wanted the down and dirty sexiest outfits I could find. Every night when I found a special outfit to fit into my plans - I sent an "anonymous" email to my husband (I actually started this a few weeks before he left with initial contact so that he did not figure out the "special friend" was me) from his "special stripper" with a picture of the naughty outfit of the night - and a description of the dance I would do for him in person. I was happy (and somewhat relieved to find that he never responded to any of them) although he later shared that he read them with great interest and delight. Each night I watched the videos, endlessly practicing the routines. I learned the walk (seems like I spent hours and hours learning "the walk"), the hip rolls, the eye contact and some basic moves. But I found that after two weeks of watching every video I could get my hands on - that NONE of them taught you how to BE SEXY with it (especially in those shoes - YES...I even bought the shoes!!). I still FELT like a bumbling idiot. It felt uncomfortable. I felt clumsy. I dashed when I shoulda darted. I bumped when I shoulda rolled, yada yada yada. I just felt about as unsexy trying to actually DO the dance as you could get. I thought because I used to be a fantastic dancer (club kinda music when dating) - that it would be easy to "dance" to the music. This wasn't dancing! You weren't moving your feet to a beat.

So, I mustered up all the guts I could get and visited the local strip club (which I later learned was about the WORST place I coulda started with). I had never been to a strip club before, had never seen most of the moves (had never even dreamed about many of the moves in my wildest of fantasies - WOW!) So...I start by going to the worst possible strip club. It's mobbed (because apparently it's also FIGHT night - with hundreds of guys hollering and pushing (and of course, pushing their way into me and feeling me up as i walked by as well). Well - I couldn't run outta there fast enough.

Luckily, on my way out - the security guy at the door asked me why I was leaving so fast (especially after just paying a $20 head charge). I burst out crying and told him the whole story...being married 22 years, wanting to spice things up and suprise my husband thinking I could learn how to dance and when I couldn't - thinking that if I went to a club and watched the dancers - I could learn how they did it. Well, he laughed this great big belly laugh that I was sure the entire club heard and that ended my tears with replaced anger! He then put his arm around my shoulder, walked me back to my car and gave me a magazine that has lots of strip clubs listed in it. He looked through the magazine and circled one and told me to go there.

I did go to that one, alone (which wasn't a good choice). At the club, a lovely young dancer must have noticed that I looked gravely out of place and asked me why I was there. So...I told her my story as well. She told me that there was some kind of get togethers that many of the dancers attended - in which they learned different moves and routines, different outfits, etc. She told me about these websites where I could learn more about it. She promised she would call me for the next local gathering in a few weeks and I could go with her to hang out and learn some of the dances. I didn't hear from her and later learned when I tried to go back to the club (could never get back in again) that she was killed in a car accident. I have tried to go to several of the clubs since then and found that I can't get it because most of them will not allow single women (what a foolish rule!??!)

So...to make a long story short(er) - I have now been "practicing my dancing for over a year". All I can say is WOW!!! I learned more from that one night of actually going to a real club about the "moves" that the real strippers do - than any video, book, or local "pole dancing" class I have found.

I think there is a HUGE audience of women across America like me, who find that in there heart and soul - they are still young and sexy but somehow life and time has flown by. Those that have been in long term marriages or relationships - or women who scratched and clawed their way up the corporate ladder to become CEO's of major corporations - only to find that work, stress, life, kids, etc. have left us ignoring the sensual, sexual woman that is hiding in each of us. We put on our "power suits" and we are "boss". We put on our aprons and we are Mom. We put on our flannel nighties (yes, after 22 years they STOP BUYING YOU the Victoria's Secret Sexy Lingerie!) and we are wife.

But...I have learned - that when I put on the outfit, and the shoes and I've picked the perfect song that my body can FEEL somewhere much deeper inside - when I close the door and dim the lights - and I become "The Stripper" - that I have become the sexiest, most sensual woman I can be. Oddly...at that moment - I am almost turned on by...myself? It sounds odd - but at that moment in time - it is not for any man, or any purpose - other than feeling totally sexy and loving the feel of what I am doing (I hope I am making sense here).

Anyhow - as I have talked to friends about my "hobby" - I find that many, many, many women share many of the same feelings of "lost sensuality". Many have expressed a desire to get more involved or have said "Oh, I want to take a Pole Dancing Class too - they have one at my local Y". They don't realize it is about sooooo much more than that. Have you guys ever thought about starting a State by State group of sorts where strippers, and serious wanna be strippers could get together on a regular basis to learn routines, favorite music/songs, deals on clothes/songs, you name it?

I am located in New Jersey. I run an international corporation with a focus on social services and humanitarian aid. Branching out of this - we have "support groups" of sorts established in almost every single state for those volunteers to "get together" to unify efforts, provide support/friendship, knowledge and assistance to each other. These groups have often served as a critical lifeline to those involved.

For all the New Jersey girls - would you have any interest in getting together to form such a group?

Good to meetcha all
Lauren