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Thread: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

  1. #1
    Alaska
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    Default What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    I have acquired myself a person truly worthy of the title ULTIMATE PL.


    He is deathly skinny, like %100 bones, and a virgin. REALLY. yes.


    But he's always been super polite, averagely intelligent even, and not yet exhibiting signs of mental illness.

    I've been working @ this club 2.5 months and he's the first one in forever I've decided to give my e-mail to. WELL. First I get 14 different fwd's, like everything he's ever been forwarded in his life, and then the following e-mail.

    You don't have to read the contents but.....look at the sheeeeer voluuuuumeee.

    What would you do?

  2. #2
    Alaska
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Hi "Jersey Girl", it's Joe again.

    I guess you are a "N.M. girl" now, huh?! Ha, Ha!

    I hope you had a good and profitable night at work last night. Since I haven't heard anything back from you about Sunday, I am just going to go to bed soon, but if you get these emails before noon on Sunday morning and still would like to go, then email me back (or call) because I'll still be up for going. I think it would be really fun for both of us! This is a VERY beautiful state to live in; ESPECIALLY once you get to know the many FINER things it has to offer, and all of the really cool places to go and do stuff, especially outdoors! Since you've just recently moved to N.M. I'll bet there is still ALOT of places here that you don't even know about yet...I'd enjoy very much showing them to you if you'll let me be your "tourguide"! The Jemez area and tram/Sandia crest trip is just one of many that we could go on if you're interested. You said that you were interested in outdoor activities such as hiking, etc. so I'd love to show some of them to you!

    I will check my email again Sunday morning, so if you want to go let me know. I guess I can understand though if you're still not quite ready to go anywhere with me outside the club. If that is the case, I won't pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Your caution is very commendable, especially considering what you do for work! There will always be another time we can get together and go do something fun! I am TOTALLY willing to wait as long as you need to feel 100% comfortable with me before going out anywhere together. Even though you don't say it, I guess you're not quite to that comfort level yet. That is absolutely O.K. with me, because I can tell that you are one of those people that is COMPLETELY WORTH the time and effort that it WILL take to get to know you on a personal level! I just know that you definitely have that special something; that "positive energy" presence or charisma, that keeps me interested in getting to know more about you. The thought of even having the CHANCE to be able to EVENTUALLY get to know you on a personal level is such an amazing and AWESOME thing when I think about it! I know that once I DO finally get to that point with you, (if you'll let me), it is going to be INCREDIBLY enjoyable to know you! Even if that time is a year or more from now, it will still be worth the patience!

    I am a very outspoken, very forward, and extremely honest person, if you haven't already noticed. I will always tell you the absolute GOD'S HONEST truth about anything and everything straight out with no bullshit whatsoever! So, just be assured that with me I am one of the few guys out there who is actually interested in YOU, your mind, your soul, your PERSON, the WHOLE person that you are, rather than just your BODY like so many OTHER guys might be! I'm sure you've come across a few of THOSE guys before, and I'm sorry about that! Unfortunately, you and I both know having most guys just "lust" after you so often just comes with being such a "hottie"! (Yes, you know you are!) Anyway, there, I've said it; I'll be the first to admit that you're definitely beautiful on the outside! But THAT fact is totally OBVIOUS to ANYONE who looks at you, even for a split second! However, it ALSO seems to ME from what little I've come to know so far about you, that you are also quite the beauty on the INSIDE too! From what I've seen already, you seem to have the "complete package"! I would even go so far as to call you a "TOTAL babe"! Because to ME, the ONLY way that ANY girl can distinguish herself from the crowd and be a "TOTAL babe" rather than "JUST ANOTHER babe" is by having a really good and sweet PERSONALITY and SPIRIT to compliment her physical beauty!! Having ALL of those qualities is what makes YOU, UNIQUE in my eyes, and I sincerely hope we eventually DO get to go out somewhere and chat for a while so I can find out MORE about the PERSON you are on the INSIDE; that MOST important part of you that makes you TRULY beautiful!

    Now, I KNOW that with your amazing beauty you could have ANY guy that you choose to, ESPECIALLY if you notice that he has the ability to see deeper than just your exterior, but if you REALLY want someone who will NEVER become an "asshole" towards you AND someone who is TRULY capable of treating you with the respect and honesty that you deserve, PLUS always be adventurous and willing to try ANY new and fun thing with you, while also being understanding and forgiving of any perceived "faults" that you might think you have, AND, maybe most importantly, giving you your independence and "space" whenever needed, then I just may be your guy! Now, I know there is no way of REALLY knowing just YET whether or not that I might turn out to be the right guy for you or not, (OR YOU the right girl for ME, for that matter), because I understand that no matter HOW many good qualities someone may have, it ultimately comes down to "chemistry". (I guess time will tell how well it develops between US!) However, on that note; I think that YOU are definitely worth getting to know, so hopefully that thought goes both ways and YOU will take a BIG leap of faith and choose to get to know ME too! I know I would have a GREAT time in the process of us gradually getting to know each other, and I DO believe that YOU would too!
    See, that is some of that "quiet confidence" that I have in myself. The thought that I KNOW I'm a good, positive energy person that someone (maybe you!) will eventually notice and appreciate!

    Now, I sincerely hope that I'm NOT being TOO forward too soon, or "coming on too strong" because the absolute LAST thing that I want to do is "scare you away"! Because I am inexperienced in the "relationship" category, as I've told you before, I do not know what is appropiate timing for things sometimes, so if I AM getting "too much too soon" you'll have to let me know and I'll try and slow things down a bit!

    I am a really nice guy, as I'm sure you've noticed, and by now you probably also see that I am good at "putting my heart on my sleeve" as they say, but that's just because I am very comfortable with showing my emotions, and because I'm a very romantic person given the chance to be!
    Anyway, just know that I'm NOT just out to "get in your pants" like so many other guys out there may be! I am interested in you as a potential friend. Someone who's very cool and "down to earth" and fun to hang out with and do fun stuff with! Who knows, if we end up having enough in common, (I think we've talked about enough already at the club to know we have a good start with that!), then maybe it'll go further, maybe not, but I am definitely interested in being friends with you regardless of whether or not it becomes something more! Besides, I know that being true friends first is the most important thing in a relationship, no matter HOW far it develops.
    I WILL admit that I WOULD like it if we end up eventually going out (i.e. regularly dating) or even if (or maybe I should honestly say; especially if) I am lucky enough to be allowed to EARN your trust and respect enough to become your new "boyfriend", but I KNOW that any chance of THAT happening is still a LONG ways off! Just know that, as I've said before, I feel that you are TOTALLY worth the time and effort that I know it WILL take to get to know you that well, and I am willing to take it at ANY pace you want, and ONLY go as far as you are COMPLETELY comfortable with!!
    On a related subject, I think that in the general "flow" of the universe, that people are put together in the same place and time for a good reason sometimes. Maybe our meeting each other will turn out to be one of those times!?

    I suppose that if I TAKE MY TIME with you, that I WILL eventually get to take you out somewhere fun outside the club where we can converse on a more intimate level, and when that finally DOES happen, because of this message, (and any more that I send you in the future), you'll already know a little bit about me and the way I think about you, and just things in general. There definitely IS much MORE knowledge about one another to be learned by both of us, so I hope YOU will send ME some interesting emails also! That way, once you become comfortable enough with me to tell me your phone number and real name, we will have plenty to talk about in person without having any awkward silences or anything like that because we will have gotten some of the "basics" out of the way already!

    Anyway, now this message is getting kind of long, but ALL I'm trying to say is: I really like you! As I said, you have that special something (call it energy, presence, vibe, aura, etc.) that keeps me interested in getting to know you. I have many things to ask you and find out about you once we actually go somewhere together and are able to talk face to face (or on the phone) in an environment that is more condusive to conversation than it is at the club. (It's WAY too noisy in there!) (AND, NOT that I DON'T like seeing you undressed in front of me, because of course I DO like that very much, but I don't need that distraction when I'm trying to see the intimately beautiful person you seem to ALSO be UNDERNEATH that wonderful looking exterior!)

    Ultimately, I really don't know WHAT you'll think about this message, but I can only HOPE for the absolute BEST reaction from you that I can imagine! Hopefully all that I've said here makes you very happy and hopefully you don't think that I'm a "creep" or anything like that for getting so intimate with my feelings about you, because you'll see that I'm not creepy at all once you get to know me better! IF you choose to REALLY give me a chance to get to know you over the next few months, years, etc., YOU will probably come to like ME very much as a person also, just like everyone else in my life that has gotten to know me! My close friends are VERY loyal and I am extremely loyal to them as well. (As I will be with YOU too!) As I said before, I am just an inexperienced guy who FINALLY found a girl that he REALLY likes (YOU!) and thinks that you are worth his time, and so, would very much like to get to know more about, because I think that you could possibly become a perfect girlfriend for me. Hopefully I can eventually become the perfect boyfriend for you also.
    I don't know, but I have to at least TRY, because my gut (or maybe my heart) tells me there is at least SOME potential with you. Maybe (hopefully) you feel the same about me. (IF I don't move too fast, right? Give you your necessary time and space!?)

    I'm sorry this message was so long, but hey, at least it should prove to you the following things above all:
    I am a deep thinker and I can definitely carry on an intelligent, deep thought conversation about ANYTHING, especially important stuff like this!
    I have MANY things that I would enjoy talking with you about and finding out about you! (Whatever happens to come to our minds at the moment whenever were together at the club or elsewhere.) I am TOTALLY comfortable talking with you about ANYTHING that might peak your interest, so don't be afraid to ask me anything that YOU may want to know about ME either! I DO believe that after we have conversed back and forth with emails, in person, and eventually over the phone about stuff for a while, we will probably just get to the point where we finally "click". When that happens I'll take you out somewhere fun and interesting if you'd like....

    The most important "bottom line" is that I hope you can tell by now that I have a truly genuine interest in YOU, the unique SOUL that your parents decided to give the beautiful name; (insert your REAL name here and you'll get what I'm trying to say here...)(I still don't know your real name, but I hope to eventually!)

    Alright, now I've REALLY got to go before I get too tired to compose coherent thoughts! I could probably go on talking forever, but I need to save SOME things to say and talk about when we actually get together somewhere outside the club and converse face to face, (or eventually over the phone), so I will stop rambling now because I've said PLENTY here already!
    So, I will say goodnight now. I'm going to go home and get a good night's sleep; I hope you sleep good too! I'll talk to you laters....

    P.S. If I don't get to see you again before you leave on your trip to see your folks, I wish you a very merry Christmas and I hope you have a GREAT 24th birthday!!! 24 on the 24th, how about that?! I'll at least see you at the club sometime after you get back from the holidays in January. Maybe tomorrow, (Sunday), if I hear back from you about the road trip, but if not, then January. Have a happy New Years celebration too! If you take any pictures that you'd like to send me from your trip back home, I'd love to see them! I'll do the same; if I take any pictures of MY holiday gatherings, I'll send some to you too. (Between my mom, my sister, and me we probably will take SOME at least.)

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    whoa.


  4. #4
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    jeeeeez.... sounds like he could potentially become problematic. that's a really fuckin long letter

  5. #5
    buffie06
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    oh man! blah blah blah, how hard is it to sit with him in the club? do you get to talk? I have no advice for this, he just seems like too much work!

  6. #6
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Oh dear god. I couldn't read through all of it, but he SURE likes to CAPITALIZE a TON of WORDS!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  7. #7
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    *eyes glaze over*

    Nice kid but geeeeeeeeeeeez. I have never known a single woman who would actually be turned on by/appreciative of a novel like that. He's got a lot to learn and boy I hope he isn't counting on learning it all from you! Is he a good spender? I'm curious why he was the one who won your email addy if you haven't given it out in awhile.


  8. #8
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    I will admit that I didn't read his entire e-mail. But just the size of the e-mail tells me that his interest in you borders on obsession...if it's not already a sick obsession. Be really careful with him. Some guys who look completely harmless aren't. Take care of you.

  9. #9
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    First of all, it's long as fuck. I'll give you my thoughts in the next hour it takes me to read it. I think someone has a little crush (understatement of the year.) Yup, psYcHo...

    Run. Now. Trust me.

  10. #10
    Alaska
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyCurlieQ View Post
    I will admit that I didn't read his entire e-mail.
    Babe. ! I don't think I did either!!! I'd feel guilty for any of my sw sexy's who tried!!!


    The length just.....as I was scrolling down.....my heart started to speed up...and then the scrolling down wasn't over with for like 5 more minutes!


    He's been the highest paying reg with it seemed like a lot of future, *paying* potential.

    I last saw him Thu. nite. It was packed, but he came up to me early on and told me he has no problem waiting, I should make as much $$ as I can before I see him. Which is another reason why he seems on a 'realer' level and why I gave my e-mail.


    But at the end of the nite he's proposing this date on Sunday that he's got allllll planned out, and tearing up saying it would make his year.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    he's totally sprung on you and believes there's a chance to be your guy. Prepare to get a ton more emails. Be wary when he gets pissed that you're not putting in the effort that he is.


  12. #12
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post


    But at the end of the nite he's proposing this date on Sunday that he's got allllll planned out, and tearing up saying it would make his year.

    No FUCKING-Way!!!!! Mark my words- you'll be sorry.

  13. #13
    Alaska
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    I
    Now, I sincerely hope that I'm NOT being TOO forward too soon, or "coming on too strong" because the absolute LAST thing that I want to do is "scare you away"! Because I am inexperienced in the "relationship" category, as I've told you before, I do not know what is appropiate timing for things sometimes, so if I AM getting "too much too soon" you'll have to let me know and I'll try and slow things down a bit!
    Well here goes a favorite paragraph for anyone that just might be having trouble reading the damn thing, lmao.

  14. #14
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Wow. Holy 'desperate for human contact' Batman.

    He's definitely looking to become your one-and-only. Milk his wallet fast and run away.
    \

  15. #15
    sun child
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Oh my freaking goodness, Alaska. That is some crazy, crazy shit. Be careful with this one.

  16. #16
    Alaska
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Oh yah, any female in the world/ a hot stripper chick like me is gonna just swoon over the thought of a man who is 32 with no sex or relationship experience.


    I'm sorry. Cool or uncrazy as you wanna be, he is a strip club customer above all, and literally so skinny that his face is sunken in and he looks ten years older.


    But the weird part is that he doesn't sound psycho, just a nice small town boy, and I'm from NJ and I call BS when I see it, but I def misjudged this one.



    So what should I DOOOO?! What would be anyone's exact words to him? Someone that has been nice and respectful and paying?

    Honestly this shit is just not worth my time and effort. I feel like, sarcastically, "How dare you think you earned the right to make me play mindfuck emotional games with you via 56 page e-mails?!"

    I'm thinking of straight up telling him, that shit is way too fucking long, that's why I'm worried now, and this had to end now, immediately.

    Some girlies on here are just such wordsharks n I'd be sooo interested in your cleverly well written replies. (Tho I fully realize, if I was you, I might just not fucking care!! My issue...I know....it must be done.)

  17. #17
    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Goddamn.

  18. #18
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Tell him you met a Navy Seal and you're moving out of state. I'm not kidding.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Ew, 32? I wrote an email like this, but I was like..14. And even then, I was half-joking and bored.

    Creepy.

  20. #20
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    O dear lord what a werdo I LOVE how he uses caps the draw attetion to the DUMBEST points he is traing to make lol. I would just blow him off even the club Mr. clingy clinginton is probaly not worth the money he pays.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Say:

    "Hey ____, I will be very upfront with you and admit that I didn't even read past the first two lines of your latest email. I don't know you very well, but I can tell that we don't see things on the same wavelength. So with that in mind, perhaps you could send me an abridged version of your message. Thank you and take it easy.

    -Alaska"

  22. #22
    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Wow. 2483 words according to MS Word. I suggest getting an alternate email account - hotmail or some such - and giving that one away in the future, that way the good email in your inbox won't be obscured by stuff like this. You can log in every few days or something and reply to the folks with something suitably meaningless in an effort to keep milking them. Also it would lower the potential google search danger if you pick an email handle that you don't use anywhere else (some people's real email address would reveal a lot about them on google).

  23. #23
    Alaska
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by krchab99 View Post
    O dear lord what a werdo I LOVE how he uses caps the draw attetion to the DUMBEST points he is traing to make lol. I would just blow him off even the club Mr. clingy clinginton is probaly not worth the money he pays.
    This post has me especially that part, thank you I needed that!!



    Quote Originally Posted by Sand View Post
    Say:

    "Hey ____, I will be very upfront with you and admit that I didn't even read past the first two lines of your latest email. I don't know you very well, but I can tell that we don't see things on the same wavelength. So with that in mind, perhaps you could send me an abridged version of your message. Thank you and take it easy.

    -Alaska"



    Very very good!! Thank you, that is a refreshing start. Or should it go more like this:


    "Hey ____, I will be very UPFRONT with you and ADMIT that I didn't even read past the first two lines of your latest email. I DON'T know you very well, but I CAN tell that we DON'T see things on the same wavelength. SO, with THAT in mind, perhaps YOU could send me an abridged version of YOUR message. Thank you and take it EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


    LOL!

  24. #24
    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    Lolllllll I LOVE it! <3

    But seriously, that caps thing is retarded. Or or or. Maybe there is a secret DaVinci Code message encrypted in it.....wouldn't surprise me.

  25. #25
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: What if YOU wrote me this e-mail? Would you be crazy?

    actually, it should be more...

    Hey ____, I will be "very UPFRONT" with you and ADMIT that I didn't even "read" past the first "two lines" of your latest "email". I DON'T know you "very well", but I CAN "tell" that we DON'T see things on the same "wavelength". SO, with THAT in mind, perhaps YOU could send me an "abridged" version of YOUR "message". Thank you and take it EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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