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Thread: why oh why?

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    Veteran Member hearts's Avatar
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    Default why oh why?

    Rant-ish.
    I don't get it. Why is it so hard for some strippers to just say no to drug addiction and alcoholism?
    Before you attack me, I am not trying to say that I am better than anyone because I don't partake in these things. I just don't get it. It just saddens and confuses me to see girls who seem to be on this wavelength:
    "Hmm...should I save this massive amout of money I made tonight to buy a house and a car so I can move out of my shitty apartment and stop having to beg for a ride...OR...should I get fucked up?"
    It just amazes me to hear so many girls lately saying "I'm broke...waaaahhh."

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    --cash industry, so attracts the same short-term mindset common to other cash-industry employees (waitstaff, cabbies, etc).

    --service-based industry, so burnout from customer-assholery is pretty high. retail workers and waitstaff have this same issue.

    --you're paid to PARTAY. sure, some (a minority) of strippers feel they are there as performers, but many do not see it that way.

    --related to the 'performer' thing--performers in other lines of work have trouble with the blurring of reality and fake selves created for work. same deal with stripping. stripping is often 'just like acting', and that includes all the not-so-nice stuff about pretending to be other people for money that leads actors/comedians to often abuse drugs/booze.

    the type of mindset that can save cash regularly when it's received at the end of a work day/night is simply not a common one, and never will be.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Why is it so hard for ANYONE to say no to drug addiction and alcoholism?

    Because they're addicts.


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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Two broad sorts of drug takers in this world.

    1) People who take drugs for recreational use.

    2) People who take drugs to escape the pressures in their lives.

    People in category (2) tend to end up addicts because every time they come off their high, the same old pressures are there - and seemingly worse. So the next time they take drugs, it's another few hours escape from the real world and its problems.

    Don't need to be a dancer to get into that vicious cycle.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    I personally find dancing very easy but I know A LOT of girls who couldn't do it.... unless they were on some kind of substance.

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Addiction isn't a voluntary thing.

    XS

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    Veteran Member Smoothcat's Avatar
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    Re: why oh why?

    I'm mystified too. How much of it is ignorance of the harmful effects of drugs, and how much of it is an almost self-destructive urge with knowledge of the later effects?

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    I knew more addicts in the restraunt industry. It sucks and it's really hard to understand. Especially when you see somebody you care about fuck their life up over and over and over again. I do drugs sometimes. That being said I have a lot of money in savings and I'm not itching for my next fix. I occasionally party. Thats something I did before I ever danced.
    I think maybe dancing just opens up a gateway to drugs because they're so easy to get in the club scene. Not just the "strip club" scene either. Don't ask why, you'll never find an answer.


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    Default Re: why oh why?

    It sounds like everyone who does drugs are just complete idiots, but it's more complicated than that. Some addicts understand all of the implications involved with continuing usage of whatever they abuse. Financial/health/legal problems, not to mention the tension it creates on friendships and family life. But that doesn't make it easy to stop.

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyCurlieQ View Post
    It sounds like everyone who does drugs are just complete idiots, but it's more complicated than that. Some addicts understand all of the implications involved with continuing usage of whatever they abuse. Financial/health/legal problems, not to mention the tension it creates on friendships and family life. But that doesn't make it easy to stop.
    Well put. I mean, is there person on the planet that doesn't know perfectly well that cigarettes will kill you? That if you manage to get incredibly lucky & dodge the cancer bullet, then emphysema or heart disease will get you instead? And that there's a whole host of other health problems connected to it? No, there isn't. Everyone on planet Earth knows they are DEADLY.

    And yet, millions of people still smoke.

    I say this as someone who smoked for 15 years, quit once for three, then started again for another year and a half or so (albeit more lightly), and recently quit again as soon as I peed on my EPT stick. And let me tell you just how easy it would be to start back up again. Quitting was one of the hardest things I've ever done. So I can only imagine how hard it would be to quit a serious drug habit, especially with very little emotional support.

    OP, I hear your frustration, seeing people throw their money away (if only I could have all the money back that I spent poisoning myself with cigarettes for years) and dig themselves further into a hole. Don't think I don't. And I know it was a rant. But is there anything in your own life that you could compare it to? Try on their 'moccasins' for a moment?
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Addiction is a disease. They let drugs take over their body and no longer become themselves. It isn't themselves going into debt or not allowing them nice things...it's the drugs doing it. I dated a true addict and he would do things that I know weren't him just to get drugs. And it is very hard to get help. If the rehab doesn't costs thousands to go to, it is overfilled. I know people who can't get a bed in a rehab and need to be put on a waiting list so in the meantime, they are still feeding their addiction and ending up in jail (where it is very easy to get drugs).

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Why is it so hard for ANYONE to say no to drug addiction and alcoholism?

    Because they're addicts.
    THANK YOU short & sweet
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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    I knew more addicts in the restraunt industry. It sucks and it's really hard to understand. Especially when you see somebody you care about fuck their life up over and over and over again. I do drugs sometimes. That being said I have a lot of money in savings and I'm not itching for my next fix. I occasionally party. Thats something I did before I ever danced.
    I think maybe dancing just opens up a gateway to drugs because they're so easy to get in the club scene. Not just the "strip club" scene either. Don't ask why, you'll never find an answer.
    So true. I have seen just as much (or maybe even more) f**ked up people and f**ued up things go down in the restaurant/bar industry. I have known a few bartenders and servers in my day that make some of the dancers I work with look like Mother Theresa.

    On another note, this thread brings up an intersting thing that happened to me last week....
    I have suffered from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since I was 17. Due to a lack of health insurance the last 2 years, I have not been able to go to therapy, I have been buying pills from dealers, and I HATE it. I HATE supporting them, I HATE paying for one pill what I pay for a whole bottle with insurance. But at the same time, it's either that or suffer from panic attacks that are well, not fun ( My husband's insurance kicks in next month and I can't wait!) Also, my alcohol intake has increased significantly. Sometimes if I wake up feeling anxious and have no meds, alcohol is an easy fix.
    I had my little pill bottle out the other day in the bathroom (I am very discreet, I don't just sit there and pop valium in front of everyone, usually I go in a stall but they were all full) ) and a girl just happened to walk in and see me. Coincidentally she's a sober-all-the time girl. So she totally attacks me, says I am not supposed to have a pill bottle, blah blah blah. I told her that I am not using them to get fucked up, that I have a medical condition (really none of her business what I am doing but I had to defend myself) She just continued to attack me, say that yeah right I am probaly selling them, and if I am not, why do I need medication anyway, if I need medication to be there I should get another job...etc. I told her stripping did not give me GAD. I have had it for damn near 12 years, and if you have never suffered from it then you don't understand and you don't have a right to sit and judge and attack me.
    Anyways, Hearts, I am not saying that your thread is an attack at all, it was actually said in a very polite way. I know you are really targeting the hard core addicts, and I am a little different but at the same time I understand how addiction happens. I have watched family members and friends suffer from it. The point of my little story really is that if you have never been there, it's hard to understand. There are sooo many reasons people become addicts. You will never have an answer to your question, unfortunately.

  14. #14
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: why oh why?

    From personal experience, I would have to say that it's a really vicious cycle. And once someone is in it, it's really hard to get out of it. For me, I can do the job very easily without drinking or anything. BUT, I have to set very strict rules for myself about drinking at work. For one, I will not drink unless I'm getting paid to do so, and I also don't seek out people who will pay me to drink. That keeps me from going in to work and "needing" that first (second, or third) drink just to work. In the past, I had not been fully aware of how my drinking activities would affect my work. Now, having been there and back, I feel very sorry for the people who either get "stuck" in that cycle of alcohol/substance abuse or "need" to get fucked up to work. It's really just sad.

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    I knew more addicts in the restraunt industry...
    The first time I ever did a 'large' amount of cocaine and the first time I purchased any was when I worked as a bartender at a tavern/restaurant at a country club. My manager who was head bartender/cook (small place) had a terrible drinking problem and a terrible cocaine problem. Somehow I got sucked into it. The man was 40 years my senior and it was a 'secret' problem. None of the other girls I worked with had any idea, but the owner knew he had a problem. Apparently that's how he's lost every bartending job he's ever had. From doing coke on the job.

    I've seen more common use in the strip club, but I'll never forget how my whole ordeal started. Makes me want to cry.

  16. #16
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Not only are many of these girls true addicts...some are just party girls. They have no thought of the future..they just want to do what they want and have fun now. When they cant dance and have no money prospects or find themselves in a situation where they ARE addicted...they wont have seen it coming.

    These are also the girls who "cant" pay their bills...but manage to somehow have a new Coach purse every month or so.

    Money management and responsibility isnt their highest priority

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Not only are many of these girls true addicts...some are just party girls. They have no thought of the future..they just want to do what they want and have fun now. When they cant dance and have no money prospects or find themselves in a situation where they ARE addicted...they wont have seen it coming.

    These are also the girls who "cant" pay their bills...but manage to somehow have a new Coach purse every month or so.

    Money management and responsibility isnt their highest priority
    That's a fantasic point, it didn't even cross my mind.

    A LOT of girls are just party girls. Once they leave the club and find work in 'the real world' (sorry to say it like that, I know our lives are real!), many will never even see drugs again. A few will probably have picked up a life long habit, but I bet the majority will move on with their lives.

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    Default Re: why oh why?

    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBomb954 View Post
    I have suffered from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since I was 17. Due to a lack of health insurance the last 2 years, I have not been able to go to therapy, I have been buying pills from dealers, and I HATE it. I HATE supporting them, I HATE paying for one pill what I pay for a whole bottle with insurance. But at the same time, it's either that or suffer from panic attacks that are well, not fun ( My husband's insurance kicks in next month and I can't wait!) Also, my alcohol intake has increased significantly. Sometimes if I wake up feeling anxious and have no meds, alcohol is an easy fix.
    I had my little pill bottle out the other day in the bathroom (I am very discreet, I don't just sit there and pop valium in front of everyone, usually I go in a stall but they were all full) ) and a girl just happened to walk in and see me. Coincidentally she's a sober-all-the time girl. So she totally attacks me, says I am not supposed to have a pill bottle, blah blah blah. I told her that I am not using them to get fucked up, that I have a medical condition (really none of her business what I am doing but I had to defend myself) She just continued to attack me, say that yeah right I am probaly selling them, and if I am not, why do I need medication anyway, if I need medication to be there I should get another job...etc. I told her stripping did not give me GAD. I have had it for damn near 12 years, and if you have never suffered from it then you don't understand and you don't have a right to sit and judge and attack me.
    Anyways, Hearts, I am not saying that your thread is an attack at all, it was actually said in a very polite way. I know you are really targeting the hard core addicts, and I am a little different but at the same time I understand how addiction happens. I have watched family members and friends suffer from it. The point of my little story really is that if you have never been there, it's hard to understand. There are sooo many reasons people become addicts. You will never have an answer to your question, unfortunately.

    This totally me. I have really horrible anxiety. I feel like I handle it reasonably well, but to be honest, I am a pretty heavy drinker.... Don't get me wrong,it's not like I get the shakes or wake up and drink or shit like that. I can do things without drinking....What I don't think people understand is a lot of times people who are addicts or users are self-medicating. There are times when I feel physically and mentally uncomfortable because of my anxiety and having a couple glasses of wine takes those feelings away from me. Many times, addicts do what I'm doing: I'm drinking at that point to feel normal, not to get fucked up. Make sense?

    I've worked in bars and strip clubs since I was 18...in this industry we drink and party way more than is the norm. But it becomes the norm for us... does that make sense? Like, my stripper or bartender friends don't think anything of doing ten shots a night at work, but a normal person would probably be like WTF....We're exposed to a lot more
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

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