I went to work. At Spearmint Rhino.
I got a bit tipsy tonight, felt really happy...and decided to give it a try.
I actually even went on stage. For the first time ther,e ever. I have always had a fear of the rhino stage. But I did it.
Amazing...once I got on stage, it all came back to me. I didn'tthink. I just did.
After stage, I went and talked to several guys. again, I didn't think, I just acted.
I made back my housefees, and actally made $25 profit. I worked for 2 and a half hours. I know that's not much, but just the fact that I went in and danced and talked to people...
I am so over whelmed right now. Just by the fact that I got dressed, went to work, talked to guys, went on stage, actually did a dance....I haven't even been bale to look people in the eye anymore...but as soon as I was on stage, It all came back to me. As soon as I walked up to a guy, it all came back to me. I had my hustle. I had my skills.
I didn't think he etire time, i just acted.
When I left, I started to shake and had to sit down..it all just hit me, I was just so overhwhelmed by it all...that I actually did it, and did it well. And I felt sexy, and pretty, and people thought I was pretty...
I only wworked for 2 and a half hours because didnt get there till 5am, and left at 7:30 because after that time on a weekday, it's all idiots lookin for lays...it was a spur of the moment thing. I felt happy and decided to try and embrace it...I can't believe I did it. i think I just finally realized i was allowing this thing to defeat me....and I won't allow it anymore. I won't allow anything to overcome me. I am in control of my feelings and emotions...it's only ruining me because i let it...and this has to stop.
I would LOVE to be able to dance again...and this was so positive for me, to just prov that I do still have it, I just let fear get in my way and overcome me.
Hopefully, this is a turning point in my depression and just in my life....
I'm very proud of myself right now and wanted to share.


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That is wonderful K!!! Really great!







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