I am utterly fucking floored.
The vision of a bagful of presents flying all over the lawn and my busy street is a little too much to handle.
I have not really revealed a lot of personal info on this board about my 3 year relationship, so wtf I intend to say here I dunno.
We've been having horribly depressing fights, and the last few days I've been just making him cum instead of having full out sex bc I don't want to feel close to him bc he breaks my heart and emotionally blackmails me on a regular basis, and it will come out of nowhere, in the middle of me feeling lovey dovey, because when we are not fighting, he is actually the world's most perfect boyfriend, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. He is a great person.
But these fights are too much.
He just showed up as I was getting ready for work with a bagful of xmas presents demanding to come in, I said now is not the time. He insisted, so he comes in, calls me names, says absolutely horrible shit to me and wouldn't leave till he was good and ready.
On the way out, I followed him out to his car with the bag of presents saying, you can't do this to me. I will not accept these presents. And he wouldn't take them. So I put them in front of his driver's side door, and he picks up the bag, it rips as he THROWS SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE and then 50,000 cars drive past almost hitting me and the presents as I pick them up off the street, and the lawn.
I'm going to drop them off at his house and take a taxi to the Amtrack station, I leave for my NJ 3 week trip tomorrow afternoon. Oh yes and my birthday is next week. I have never ever felt so shitty at this time of the year.


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Your trip is going to give you a much needed break.



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Take this time for reflection and to just let your mind wander lazily; daydream, write in a journal, read a trashy book, have a drink, enjoy the scenery, enjoy the rocking motion, walk around, people watch, hop off the train at some random stop and feel the excitement of 'oh fuck what if i don't make it back on in time and i'm stuck in this tiny little unknown town', enjoy your dinner, talk to strangers, catch up on some zzzzz.




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