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Thread: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

  1. #1
    Alaska
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    Default Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    I am utterly fucking floored.


    The vision of a bagful of presents flying all over the lawn and my busy street is a little too much to handle.


    I have not really revealed a lot of personal info on this board about my 3 year relationship, so wtf I intend to say here I dunno.



    We've been having horribly depressing fights, and the last few days I've been just making him cum instead of having full out sex bc I don't want to feel close to him bc he breaks my heart and emotionally blackmails me on a regular basis, and it will come out of nowhere, in the middle of me feeling lovey dovey, because when we are not fighting, he is actually the world's most perfect boyfriend, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. He is a great person.


    But these fights are too much.


    He just showed up as I was getting ready for work with a bagful of xmas presents demanding to come in, I said now is not the time. He insisted, so he comes in, calls me names, says absolutely horrible shit to me and wouldn't leave till he was good and ready.

    On the way out, I followed him out to his car with the bag of presents saying, you can't do this to me. I will not accept these presents. And he wouldn't take them. So I put them in front of his driver's side door, and he picks up the bag, it rips as he THROWS SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE and then 50,000 cars drive past almost hitting me and the presents as I pick them up off the street, and the lawn.

    I'm going to drop them off at his house and take a taxi to the Amtrack station, I leave for my NJ 3 week trip tomorrow afternoon. Oh yes and my birthday is next week. I have never ever felt so shitty at this time of the year.

  2. #2
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    I don't know what to say. Your trip is going to give you a much needed break.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    He is a great person.
    Yeah. A great person to get rid of.

    You deserve better.

  4. #4
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Sorry to hear that. Fights over the holidays feel so much worse. You really are a brave woman to take the Amtrack all the way to the east coast. Keep your head up and we are here for you!

  5. #5
    Member gethotlingerie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    WOW! What a jerk!

    My advice is to relax and enjoy your vacation. Worry about that problem when you get back home.

    If you decide to break it off, keep the presents and take them back to the stores. LOL. Then go have a night on the town or get something you really want. LOL. Teach him a lesson.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Get to NJ. We'll take you to a diner. And no doubt, several drinking establishments.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyes View Post
    Yeah. A great person to get rid of.

    You deserve better.
    Damn right. Gosh, how embarrassing too. At least you get to leave for your trip and get away from him. The train will be very calming.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyes View Post
    Yeah. A great person to get rid of.
    Couldn't have said it better myself. A "great person" doesn't treat his lady that way.

    Mourn, grieve, do what you need to do. A cross-country train trip will be good for that. When you get to Jersey, try to have a good time, and by this time next year you'll be so relieved you aren't fighting this jackass anymore.

  9. #9
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship



    guys, so seriously, thank you so much. Wow venting on sw is so not overrated! It's just like having girlfriends. :


    Your posts mean so much to me, thank you!

    The Diner....the diner....just the word makes me feel better, cannot wait to get our sexy on at the diner wichoo Rose!!

  10. #10
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    The trip...it's like it's good and it's bad. I feel so unsettled and so un-closure, and knowing that I'll spend the holidays miserable over this and thinking about it is sad to me. Well don't worry for any of my swfest ladies, I am so not the person wearing my emotions on my sleeve, and we are gonna rock and have such a great time.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    I'm really sorry to hear this, Alaska--and the trip couldn't have better timing. Better to get the hell away from all of it now. Yek is right that this is not a way to treat a lady, and I am glad that you will have some time to think things through. I didn't realize all that you're going through--that it is physical like this. Just a hell of a thing at this time of the year, and with your birthday coming up to boot. Right now I would just concentrate on getting on that train, and not get pulled into any more emotions. You'll come back with a cooler head. Try and keep the chin up, and take good care of yourself. I'm glad you'll have friends here in NJ (and make sure you guys have a designated driver--you don't need a car crash on top of all this). Watch after your heart, Alaska.
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    In the spirit of the Wild West, you are embarking on a new adventure! Take this time for reflection and to just let your mind wander lazily; daydream, write in a journal, read a trashy book, have a drink, enjoy the scenery, enjoy the rocking motion, walk around, people watch, hop off the train at some random stop and feel the excitement of 'oh fuck what if i don't make it back on in time and i'm stuck in this tiny little unknown town', enjoy your dinner, talk to strangers, catch up on some zzzzz.

    have fun on your trip.


  13. #13
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveSexMoney View Post
    In the spirit of the Wild West,
    Wild West!?

    What do you know of Wild West? Go eat a frozen lobster.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  14. #14
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    The trip...it's like it's good and it's bad. I feel so unsettled and so un-closure, and knowing that I'll spend the holidays miserable over this and thinking about it is sad to me. Well don't worry for any of my swfest ladies, I am so not the person wearing my emotions on my sleeve, and we are gonna rock and have such a great time.
    I think it's great that you are getting away. It will keep you from being tempted to go to him. And it will give you time to reflect on what you really want. I don't know you, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that this sort of craziness is not what you want in a man.

    I've seen so many girls get dragged down in relationships like this one. Please don't be one of them. You deserve better.

  15. #15
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    She takes way more trains than me and we're going to the Grand Canyon so don't speak!



    Am I crazy.

    Or a child.

    I just opened up the presents after debating for hours what the signifigance would be of either if I a. returned them to him or b. openened them.


    They are really nice and what I wanted.







    Express velour tracksuit
    Mac makeup brush collection
    2 magazines
    Nice sweater from A&E
    Giant ass headphones for the train

    guess I'm glad I did bc the headphones don't fit the Ipod and I should exchange them in the morning before I go.











    GOD DAMN I AM SO DEPRESSED.

    I also blew off work even tho I am negative money.


    I feel like a terrible person and I am.

  16. #16
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    This not having had sex shit and won't be having sex for my vacation is horrible and bugging me, I think I just got turned on sitting the right way.


    GOD DAMN IT!

  17. #17
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    I can see how the presents would make you a little emotional, but try to remember the way he treated you while he was throwing them in the street. You deserve to keep all of it for the way he treated you, and not feel guilty a bit. He took a chance coming over there being an asshole, thinking that you'd put up with it again.

    Well, we women reach a point where we are sick and tired of being sick and tired and we tell those no good motherfuckers to go away and stay away. I guess he will find out that your tolerance for him is at zero (I hope so, anyway).

  18. #18
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Sorry, but this doesn't sounds logical. He barges in to drop off your presents then calls you names and you escalate the drama by dumping them back at his door? Now you feel like a bad person because the gifts are what you wanted and you want to have sex?!!

    You should read up on how abusive releationships begin and get some much needed perspective. He's an emotionally abusive drama king and your submission can be bought. Reeeaallly bad dynamic.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  19. #19
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyes View Post
    Yeah. A great person to get rid of.

    You deserve better.
    No kidding.

    Do yourself a favor and don't bother trying to say he's a great person "when you aren't fighting". That does not make him a great person. Just forget about him, enjoy the presents that you'll obviously get use out of, and move on with your life. You deserve much better than him and you know it.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback View Post
    Wild West!?

    What do you know of Wild West? Go eat a frozen lobster.
    frozen??? It might be chilly but we don't eat no frozen lobster up here in these parts!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post

    I also blew off work even tho I am negative money.

    If you can, grab a small bottle of whatever you like to drink to bring on the train, that way you don't have to pay top dollar in the bar car. Oh, and you're NOT a terrible person!


  21. #21
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Wow. That's a very dramatic tale. Sounds like something out of a Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald biography.

    Have to agree with the rest of the brain trust. He doesn't sound like a good guy--at all.

    You can sell the expensive gifts on ebay and give away the rest. That'll help you financially and spiritually.

  22. #22
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriend ruins Christmas, relationship

    Trains are fun, I love them-- you will enjoy the trip, and especially hanging out with your SW sisters!

    I'm not saying anything about the boyfriend, except that the train trip will do you some good either way.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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