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Thread: Dementia and old age questions?

  1. #1
    MsQwerty
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    Default Dementia and old age questions?

    My grandparents are both 90 years old and have both been diagnosed with dementia. My gran has had it for a while, a few years I guess. The diagnosis is moderate. My grandfather has only been recently diagnosed and his is mild. However my grandfathers seems to have come on suddenly (in the last 2 months) and he seems almost as bad as my gran now - as bad really. My gran up until the last 3 weeks wasnt really so bad, its come on ever so gradually. She is very forgetful - but she always has been. Mostly things around the house get put in the wrong places and she repeats the stories shes telling or asks the same questions over and over. They can both hold a decent conversation still much of the time although my gran cant find the right words to use to describe things.

    What is the normal process of dementia? How many years can people live with it? I believe there are stages, but does everyone go through them in the same way or do some people skip a stage?

    Ive noticed that my grandfather is starting to sleep through the day now. he never has done this before. He is very healthy aside from the dementia and his father died of natural causes / old age and so did his grandfather and his father before him andso on and so on. Im just wondering if the sleeping is a sign that he is going to go soon. You read in books how people know theyre dying and their families do, but no one ever really mentions the signs. I know its a morbid question, but what are the signs?

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    ^^^
    my mum is an aged care nurse I will ask her when she gets home from work. this is her speciality.
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  3. #3
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Thanks Jaizane!
    That must be a stressful job. I am finding it very stressful at the moment and i dont really have that much to do with them directly, more than visiting anyway.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    I spoke to my mum about it. She said there are different kinds of dementia and each one has different stages to it. Do you know what type of dementia they have been diagnosed with?

    She also said that it is a gradual decline with symptoms worsening over time depending on the person and the type of dementia but it does not usually happen as fast as it does with alzhiemer's.

    She said she is not sure what would cause your grandfather to start sleeping during the day. But the signs that they would be close to death would be if they were bed ridden (like unable to get out of bed) and very frail.

    She also said that they have had people living for many years on the ward with dementia so people can live with it for years.

    Most people who get to the age of 90 will have some age related memory loss and the repeating of stories over and over and asking questions can happen to such people even without dementia so that part is not too much to worry about but I can understand how it would be distressing to you and the family.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    I believe Alzheimer's has a website, (I don't have it handy, but it's surely on dogpile.com). They will send you info by mail. Good luck, take care.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  6. #6
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Thank you Jai! Thanks to your mum too!
    Im not sure what types of dementia they have but that would explain probably why my grandfathers has come on so quickly whilst my grans has been gradually. Ill ask my mum if she knows and if she doesnt then Ill try to find out. I guess were both new to this.
    Mum did a breif carers course which recently which covered the basics of dementia but mum just hasnt had the time or chance to explain everything - shes doing most of the caring herself and barely has time to think some days. Im more worried about her lately than them to be honest as its getting to be too much work for her. Id like to know more so I can suggest some practical things using facts as a base.


    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I spoke to my mum about it. She said there are different kinds of dementia and each one has different stages to it. Do you know what type of dementia they have been diagnosed with?

    She also said that it is a gradual decline with symptoms worsening over time depending on the person and the type of dementia but it does not usually happen as fast as it does with alzhiemer's.

    She said she is not sure what would cause your grandfather to start sleeping during the day. But the signs that they would be close to death would be if they were bed ridden (like unable to get out of bed) and very frail.

    She also said that they have had people living for many years on the ward with dementia so people can live with it for years.

    Most people who get to the age of 90 will have some age related memory loss and the repeating of stories over and over and asking questions can happen to such people even without dementia so that part is not too much to worry about but I can understand how it would be distressing to you and the family.

  7. #7
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Thanks Whirler
    I shall look for it. Neither have been diagnosed with Alzheimers yet although I wouldnt be surprised. Im imagine the information could be helpful anyway.


    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    I believe Alzheimer's has a website, (I don't have it handy, but it's surely on dogpile.com). They will send you info by mail. Good luck, take care.

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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    my grandfather had dementia. from an emotional standpoint, it was a difficult thing to deal with for everyone, esp. my grandmother. it was tough on her, bigtime. she hated seeing him so incapacitated by his own mind. he lived to 84, and it worsened after age 81. one can live with it for a good long while, dementia doesn't kill you. but, it doesn't make life easy for you or for those around you.

    im sorry ms qwerty.
    be patient, and expect they will get very confused as time goes on. other days they will be so lucid, it will tear your heart out to see the change.

    Love it!

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    It will be very hard for your mother to look after both her parents suffering dementia. Most of my mum's patients have come in after being cared for by family but then it gets way too hard as the disease progresses. The family usually holds off on putting them in professional care for as long as possible through guilt and not wanting to upset the person- as most elderly dont want to give up their independence. However in the long run it's best for everyone's health that they get professional care and your mum should not feel guilty if it comes to this as it is a huge strain to care for people with dementia.
    Your mum has to think of her own health as well.

    Is she using a respite care too? That is like a part time carer to look after the patients to give her a rest. My neighbour has a nurse who comes every day to look after him - she comes in the morning and in the evening to take care of showering him and other caring that his elderly wife could no longer physically manage. It became too much for her at 80 years of age to look after him.
    This does not cost them much at all either, I think the government pays for the majority of it so maybe your mum could look into something like that?
    I think they got into contact with this nursing service via centrelink.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Quote Originally Posted by MsQwerty View Post
    Mum did a breif carers course which recently which covered the basics of dementia.
    if she doesn't already know, your mum will be entitled to a carer's pension thru centrelink. Doesn't pay much but every little bit helps. It has nothing to do with whether your mum works or not (it's not income assessed) it is provided for looking after your grandparents.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    I agree with the Respite Care. My own mother went through this and I'm guessing it was a huge help for my father at the time since I (and my younger brother) were living at home at the time as well.


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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Dementia is like a mental cloud the elderly can go in and out of. What you described is totally normal for someone who suffers from dementia. My grandmother suffered from this before she died and couldn't even remember who I was. It was heartbreaking.

    In regards to the signs of death, here is a morbid answer to your question: the easiest way to tell someone is near death is the smell. You cannot mistake that smell for anything. My grandma had it, her friends, and my friends that i've lost to cancer along the well. It is fucking weird, but you can totally sense and smell when death is right around the corner.

    I wish you and your family well during the difficult time. *holiday hugs*

  13. #13
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Lol, you know my mum worked in Centrelink for a lot of years and I dont think its even crossed her mind!
    My grandparents were booked into respite care this week, and then they refussed to go. Its so hard. My grandfather who is usually the awkward one finally thinks it would be a good idea to go into a home / have respite care. My gran who when she still had her mind always said "Put me in a home if I cant look after myself" doesnt realise that she cant look after herself and insists that she can still do everything. Physicaly she is pretty fit so she doesnt want to go.



    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    if she doesn't already know, your mum will be entitled to a carer's pension thru centrelink. Doesn't pay much but every little bit helps. It has nothing to do with whether your mum works or not (it's not income assessed) it is provided for looking after your grandparents.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    Respite care comes to you .. or so it happened for my mother. She was home bound and thus had a nurse come to her... Blue Nurses or something? One of those church organisations that offers 'at home' help/care.

    Or it could have been palliative care? Regardless, there are community organisations that will be of assistance to your mother if she so desires (or needs it).


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  15. #15
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    ^^^Unfortunately they havent qualified for some of the help so far. We also have the problem that my grandparents will cancel anything that is organised or tell people to go away because my gran doesnt think she needs help and my grandfather is an awkward old bastard who doesnt like new people coming in their house.
    I just want to know more about dementia not possible alternatives atm.
    Mum hasnt been told what types of dementia either and she doesnt qualify for a carers pension as yet.
    Last edited by MsQwerty; 12-21-2007 at 10:47 PM. Reason: typos.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dementia and old age questions?

    I found this website, it seems good.

    http://www.dementiacareaustralia.com/

    As taken from above website:

    Dementia is not a disease, but rather an umbrella term for a variety of symptoms that may accompany or indicate certain diseases or conditions. Today over 60 different conditions are known to cause dementia symptoms.

    Alzheimer’s disease (the most common cause of dementia) is a result of damage and changes to nerve cells within the brain. These abnormalities are referred to as amyloid plaques and neurofibrillary tangles which can ultimately destroy nerve cells.
    Vascular dementia or multi-infarct dementia (the second most common cause of dementia) and more commonly known as stroke, is a result of the blood supply to the brain being cut off due to clotting or blood vessels bursting in the brain, (aneurism) destroying surrounding tissue and triggering strokes.
    Lewy Bodies dementia (the third most common cause of dementia) is a result of a build-up of Lewy bodies – accumulated bits of alpha-synuclein protein – inside the areas of the brain that control particular aspects of memory and motor control. The dementia symptoms are characterised by pronounced fluctuations in mood with periods of confusion, followed by greater lucidity, and disturbed visual experiences.
    Excessive alcohol intake or Korsakov Syndrome is associated with prolonged alcohol use characterised by personality changes and short term memory loss.
    Fronto Temporal Lobar Degeneration (FLTD) including Pick’s disease is caused by a degeneration occurring in one or both of the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain resulting in significant behaviour and personality changes.
    Other less common causes of dementia include Huntingdon’s and Parkinson’s diseases.

    Symptoms and Stages of Dementia

    In the first stage, people with dementia begin to experience that something is not right – ‘The old memory is playing up.’ They may feel embarrassed or frightened when they recognize changes in their memory or thinking. Family and friends begin to question and comment on the changes and forgetfulness. The person is likely to fight to keep up the façade of ‘normality’ and being in control. They might do things, such as making up a little story to fill the memory gap of someone or something they can’t remember. Professionals label this gap filling as ‘confabulation’. However, this ‘story’ telling or gap filling does not mean that the person is telling a lie. It is actually a creative, self-defence mechanism that helps the person to keep up the façade. It will help supportive partners and ‘carers’ to understand if they can imagine it in this way too.

    In the second stage, people with dementia are far more relaxed and inclined to give in and let go. They may start to withdraw and appear to become preoccupied with the past, thinking back to happy times, restoring old memories and sometimes living in that time and reality. Their way of communicating may change too. Sentence construction may not be as clear. They might start a sentence, and it make perfect sense; but then it becomes muddled in the middle and ends as ‘gobbledegook’, which is hard to understand.

    If they can’t remember a word, they might create one. Often the words will be familiar, only now put together in an innovative way creating a poetic new word or phrase. Here is a great personal example of how this can occur.
    In the second stage, the person may start to mix up relationships and generations, such as Emily believing her son to be her deceased husband, or Ray believing his niece is his sister.

    The person may start to address you by a different name. Just because you are addressed in this way for a short time does not mean it will last forever. It may only be that the person is preoccupied, for the moment, in thinking about Mum or Dad. So, when you appear, you may temporarily become Mum or Dad.

    In the third stage, people with dementia start to withdraw even further into the past and become so preoccupied with their memories that they ‘live’ almost entirely in that time and reality.

    They may also start to wander. When this happens, it is important to know that there is usually a valid reason. Either the person is looking for something or someone, or is trying to prevent boredom.

    The person may also start expressing needs, wants and feelings increasingly through body language – using gestures and actions. For example: Some may sit picking minute fluff-balls off clothing, wringing their hands, or appear to be kneading dough or mending clothes. These are ways of going back into the past and recreating a time when they felt needed, useful and special. Often these positive experiences are missing for them in this reality. These movements do have purpose, even if they might seem strange to us.

    Language, at this stage, may consist mainly of one-syllable words, such as ‘Yes’ and ‘No’, interspersed with only a key word. This key word might be a noun or a verb, but is always something that has particular meaning and that we can take note of to help us understand what is being talked about.

    We can maintain communication with people who have dementia in all stages

    In the fourth stage, people with dementia may completely shut out the outside world. They might sit in a chair or lie in bed staring straight into thin air, or they might have their eyes closed. They may not respond when someone walks into the room or speaks to them.

    Today, we know that the person at this stage still hears and experiences through touch, and it is extremely important that we continue to talk with them and still make physical contact.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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