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Thread: I think I have a problem.

  1. #1
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default I think I have a problem.

    Im sitting here thinking I look so bloated and gross and fat. I get up and weigh myself and im 120.8lbs. Im almost 5'8".... theres no reason I should think I look fat (bloated, whatever), none at all. I was at 128 last time I was at the doctor (Friday). I feel like I look worse now than then... I think because I was blaming being sick on weighing that.

    I seriously think theres something wrong with my head...

    Is it just me? Is it from stripping? Millions of women would be so happy to be my size and here I am thinking I need to lose 5 lbs to get back to 116...

  2. #2
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    5 8, 120lbs? Fat? Ummm, I think you might have a wee body perception problem.

  3. #3
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

    Do something about that now (counseling) and avoid the years of self-abuse for this. Take it from someone who's been there, done that.

  4. #4
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    ^^Heavily seconded.

    You need to get this straightened out, honey. Trust me...you're thin enough as it is.

  5. #5
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Yea but can they really change my thinking? Ive been like this for years now... and I keep thinking - once Im done dancing I dont care what I weigh, Ill gain weight. Ill be happy and not worry about it....but Im not dancing and Im STILL obsessing over it.

    But its not like ill stop eating or anything.... i just THINK about it all the time...

  6. #6
    buffie06
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    If you looked exactly the same but weighed 116 would you feel better? Maybe get rid of the scales for awhile.

  7. #7
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Are you taking any meds for OCD? That might be one approach.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member MixedBabe88's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    Yea but can they really change my thinking? Ive been like this for years now... and I keep thinking - once Im done dancing I dont care what I weigh, Ill gain weight. Ill be happy and not worry about it....but Im not dancing and Im STILL obsessing over it.

    But its not like ill stop eating or anything.... i just THINK about it all the time...
    WOW. 5'8? And 120? I wish >.<
    I am sure you look fine, maybe even too thin! Girl, you're fine, sexy ass!

  9. #9
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by buffie06 View Post
    If you looked exactly the same but weighed 116 would you feel better? Maybe get rid of the scales for awhile.

    No No No. I think this is the problem. When I was 116 I was dancing 4-5x's a week and was FIT. I mean 6 pack and HOT, all tight. Now Im all flabby but only weigh a few lbs more. I dont get it....

    Me at 116



    Me now at 120


    And I thought muscle weighed MORE than fat...

  10. #10
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    And my problem is im 5 years older... i should KNOW that what i was like before isnt normal but i obsess over those pictures..

    See - i can even make excuses for my obsession....

  11. #11
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Hey, we have like the exact same body! Except for the tits, of course. SO you'd better like it, or I'll take it as a personal insult! (jk)

    Actually, I should say, we have the same body (both incarnations..I switch around too), but I weigh 10lbs more than you (same height). Paying attantion to the scales is folly, imo. If you miss being rock hard, then...you know, start working out more. But I think you look fantastic in the bottom pic too- I actually make way more $$ in that state than in rock hard state. True story.
    Last edited by scarlett_vancouver; 12-26-2007 at 05:00 PM. Reason: misspelled incarnations

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  12. #12
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    . But I think you look fantastic in the bottom pic too- I actually make way more $$ in that state than in rock hard state. True story.
    From a custie perspective, I prefer the bottom picture, too. It's more luscious, feminine and sexy to me.

    Rule No. 6: Never date a woman who can bench more than you.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    ...But its not like ill stop eating or anything.... i just THINK about it all the time...
    I'm no doctor, but this is my honest opinion:

    Thinking your fat is a woman thing. I really think every woman feels that way sometimes. It's not always a legitimate thought, but everyone has it. I think that if you're not doing something stupid to 'correct' this, you don't have a problem. If you're dealing with an eating disorder of any kind, or you're being obsessive about exercising, it's become a problem.
    On the other hand, I suppose if you had a real problem (including an eating disorder), and your mind is fucked up like that, you wouldn't realize it.

    But seriously, that's why there's all those sayings and jokes about it. "Does this make me look fat?" It's something we all think at least sometimes.

    P.S. You're hot in both pictures. But you already knew that.

    Please stay healthy! And be sure to hang around friends and family who can/will mirror a true image of yourself back to you. You are your own worst critic. Your good friends are there to tell you when you're acting retarded and when to worry.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Could be a little of just a fat/bloaty day. Some days are like that-too much salt/hormones/soda or something.

    I think you look great in the last picture-nice booty, soft curves. You are very thin-looking in the first ones, though buff and hot. I like the curves better though-of course I'm a foot shorter than you and not that much lighter (generally like 105ish), so really it's just a number.

  15. #15
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Course as I say I have no eating disorder Ive only eaten 2 pieces of toast today. But thats because Im still sick... nothing sounds/tastes good and I had to force even that down.

    I dunno. I was addicted to laxatives a couple years ago (because I was gaining weight but wanted to stay looking like the above pics)

    My God maybe I do have a eating disorder. I dont know. I just want to be happy. But I eat when Im hungry, I dont starve myself... I dont take laxatives anymore. I dont know....

  16. #16
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    (scroll down a little to see the self-assesment quiz)


    Neither of these replace a doctor. If you think you might have a problem, the best thing to do is see a doctor.

  17. #17
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    Course as I say I have no eating disorder Ive only eaten 2 pieces of toast today. But thats because Im still sick... nothing sounds/tastes good and I had to force even that down.

    I dunno. I was addicted to laxatives a couple years ago (because I was gaining weight but wanted to stay looking like the above pics)

    My God maybe I do have a eating disorder. I dont know. I just want to be happy. But I eat when Im hungry, I dont starve myself... I dont take laxatives anymore. I dont know....
    I didn't have an eating disorder, either. I just starved myself and purged, as well.

    It wasn't the eating that was the disorder...it was the thinking.

    You can't get past this by yourself...but until you fully accept that what you are doing is unhealthy and that you have a skewed image about yourself...it won't matter how much counseling you go to.

  18. #18
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    I dot really see a differance in the pics...I mean..4 pounds is nothing.

    And I would KILL for your body

  19. #19
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    You are so hot!

    I agree with Cameron-honestly, I think you look the same in the pics. I know it's easy to obsess about your body when you've gained a small amount of weight-I do it too. But you look the same to me. And I would kill for your body too! I'm 5'4" and I weigh a lot more than you.






  20. #20
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    AudreyLeigh, your concern for yourself is enough to at least talk to a professional about your way of thinking about your body. You may or may not have an eating disorder but you know something just isn't right. They have therapists who can help you on a sliding fee scale. Call around you can find something as low as $35 per visit. If anything go in for a head check to make sure your head is in the right place. It wouldn't hurt at all.

    From looking at your pics if I was your size I would be ecstatic. You're no where near fat or even pudgy. You're healthy thin in all those pics.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  21. #21
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Now I feel bad for obsessing over the belly when people want my body. Im going to shut up now...

  22. #22
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Don't feel bad. Its great that you can come here and ask questions. Its what this section is for. I would have thought differently if every other thread you were saying how fat you were or pulling a Sophie Marie. But you don't do that and your were asking a valid question. Take the advice given and maybe you can make peace with yourself.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  23. #23
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    No one is perfect. I scored 50% on the ED quiz, and I like to think I have a very healthy view of eating and my body. 70-90% indicates an ED.

    A lot of it is illogical judgement we place on ourselves because of perceived societal pressure. Some of it might be "reminiscing and romantisizing" the past.

    Sometimes I do think of how often I got hit on and how desirable I looked at 112, with long blonde extentions. All of my life I was the smart girl, and I had the opportunity to be the pretty, sexy girl for a few years.

    But looking back from a more realistic perspective, things weren't so great back then either. And I have no regrets that I weigh 125 and chopped off my hair. Life is different now, priorities have changed.

    Also, muscle definately ways more than fat! Audrey, you look great, but I understand where you are coming from!

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  24. #24
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Where's the ED test? I def. dont have body issues, but I do have weird/uncommon food habits and eating philosophies. I wonder what I'd score.

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  25. #25
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I think I have a problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyCurlieQ View Post
    (scroll down a little to see the self-assesment quiz)


    Neither of these replace a doctor. If you think you might have a problem, the best thing to do is see a doctor.
    On the BD one considering the questions I dont think I suffer from it.


    On the ED one:
    You scored 55% You are probably not suffering from an eating disorder.

    But I honestly think I may be a little OCD... I obsess over things - weird things sometimes. Its not bad that Id get on meds because it doesnt really impact my life but it may explain why I really obsess over my body, things being perfect in all reals from financial to the pillows being in the PERFECT spot and hating when people put things in wrong places - I get anxiety over it. Its freakin weird and hard to explain.

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