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Thread: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

  1. #1
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    About 3 weeks ago a girlfriend of mine got a DUI. I didn't have my phone with me so I didn't get her message when she needed a ride from jail. Me and my friend were boozing all weekend when it was cold and rainy. I didnt get her message until Sunday at about noon . Now keep in mind I saw the sun come up over an empty bottle of Brandy . I finally talked to her at about noon on Sunday and I was still drunk from the night before so when she asked me for a ride to the airport ( her car was impounded), I said no.

    Arizona has the toughest DUI laws in the country and this area is crawling with cops and unmarked vehicles looking for drunks. If you get a DUI here now, it's mandatory 10 days in tent city jail and I think a heavy fine.

    My girlfriend won't talk to me now. She snapped at me and goes, " I should have called someone who answers thier phone. BYE !" That was at the beginning of the month and Ive called her about 5times and sent a bunch of texts. She didnt even return the Merry Xmas texts. It's not my fault she got a DUI. I sure as fuck don't want to join her at tent city.

    So am I a bad friend ? Or did I do the right thing?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    You are not a bad friend, you are a HORRIBLE person. I mean think of it. How selfish can a human being be ? How could you just abandon her over there ? You wouldn't even risk the DUI that she already got caught for ? I'm sorry that was poor sarcasm lol I suck and I'm still drunk

  3. #3
    Veteran Member BB1984's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    I don't think that you're a bad friend at all, she should have understood that since you were intoxicated you couldn't drive. It seems like if anything she should have been really understanding seeing that she just got a DUI herself, I mean did she want the same thing to happen to you? I think she will eventually understand and get over it.

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    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    So she expected you to go save her ass after she gets a DUI while you're intoxicated which puts you at risk for getting a DUI?

    Jeebus. You did the right thing. I wouldn't expect any of MY friends to come get me out of jail while they were drunk themselves. That's just.....stupid. Wow. You're not a bad friend, you're the smart friend.
    \

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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Its not like I didnt want her to get to the airport, you know? I just happened to be coming off one of those crazy weekend benders you have when the weather sucks and there is nothing else to do. I split a big bottle of brandy with my friend and we were both wasted . I stopped drinking at like 6;30 in the morning.

    I feel bad for her but why should I risk my own perfectly round tan butt to clean up her mess. Dude. Just take a cab like you should have done in the first place.

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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    you are definitely not a bad friend. she just sounds like she is having a really hard time right now and is bitter and taking it out on you.

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    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    owie
    Oh nooo that wasn't at me was it ??? Freaking slower impaired thinking. Ya see this is what happens when ya drink.

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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    your not a bad friend, and seems sorta selfish to me that it sounds like she was calling you, and you only and didn't think of anyone else to call....

  9. #9
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Responsible adult.
    Shes acting like a baby, Id tell her to fucking grow up.
    I take it shes never been around anyone whos lost a loved one or been injured by a drunk driver. It aint pretty and thats the real consequense.

  10. #10
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    You should not drive if you feel impaired, and you should NEVER be pressured to drive if you feel impaired. She is probably not really mad for that - just mad because she was inconvenienced and stuff. It'll be fine.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  11. #11
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    You are not a bad friend at all ,you should not drive while intoxicated what if something really bad would have happen to you ?say a car accident ?

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    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    If you drove, you could have killed someone. Waiting until you're straight in the head is the way to go.
    ED E’ SUBITO SERA

    Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
    trafitto da un raggio di sole:
    ed è subito sera

    --Salvatore Quasimodo--

    =============================

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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    She is kind of a selfish person. She always is coplaining that she is always there for people but no one is ever there for her. She has made it sound like I'm a bad friend before but trust me, there have been some serious perks to hanging out with me over the years. I've taken her on private jets to first rate resorts more than once ( when I was with my uber rich ex) countless Broadway shows, sporting events..I could go on and on. And it's not like it's only material things either. I've sat and listened to her moan about shitty jobs and guys, helped her move for God's sake !

    It irks me that she is mad at me about this because I always try to make a concious effort to be a good friend ! We fight from time to time but what longtime friends don't ? I get anoyed when I think about it. I have to vent here because none of my other friends want to hear anything about her.

  14. #14
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    You're a good friend and a good person. Not only would getting her put you at risk--it would also put HER at risk. You could have potentially injured her (not to mention yourself or others on the road) in a car accident...

    She's selfish and bitchy because she made a stupid mistake. Period.

  15. #15
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Well said Stella !

  16. #16
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    ^^I try! I just hope you're not letting yourself feel to badly about all of this, because you absolutely did the right thing.

  17. #17
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    No. It's just annoying to me. And her ansswering the phone comment pissed me off. She is chained to her phone 24/7, but I am not ruled by my phone. She thinks I'm a head case because I'm still dancing but at least I have the common sense not to drink and drive. I wonder what would have happened if they found her blow.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    there are 4 words I think of when I hit the bars...Pink Underwear and Tent City. those 4 words are enough to keep me sober when we all go barhopping.It sucks that I'm a permanent DD but man it sure is better than those 4 words.

  19. #19
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Oh hell yeah. They aren't playin with DUI. We have a DUI task force that is 16 unmarked vehicles. Everything from suburbans to mustangs. I'm pretty good about not drinking and driving. I figure that cab fare is cheaper and less of a pain in the ass that DUI, right? You AZ peeps know what im talking about.

  20. #20
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Fuck that bitch. A dignified woman would have paid for a cab ride home from jail to minimize the drama. Gah.

    On the bright side, kudos to things getting better for you.

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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    That is ridiculous for her to be mad at you about that. Actually it really scares me. She obviously does not see the error of her ways. She just got caught drunk driving and then expects you to drive drunk to get her...umm what about everyone else in the world who doesn't want to be endangered by someone else's impairment.

    That is selfish to the max. I think she deserves some time in jail if she doesn't even see/care that drinking and driving is dangerous!

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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    She is kind of a selfish person. She always is coplaining that she is always there for people but no one is ever there for her. She has made it sound like I'm a bad friend before but trust me, there have been some serious perks to hanging out with me over the years. I've taken her on private jets to first rate resorts more than once ( when I was with my uber rich ex) countless Broadway shows, sporting events..I could go on and on. And it's not like it's only material things either. I've sat and listened to her moan about shitty jobs and guys, helped her move for God's sake !

    It irks me that she is mad at me about this because I always try to make a concious effort to be a good friend ! We fight from time to time but what longtime friends don't ? I get anoyed when I think about it. I have to vent here because none of my other friends want to hear anything about her.
    a few things.. first, while that is nice, it does not make you a good friend. i'm not saying you're NOT, but gifts, trips, etc does not make you a good friend. i'm sorry. also.. did you tell her that was why you couldnt come get her? or just say no and expect her to know or something? maybe you said that already and i missed it.

    when i got mine, the guy that came to pick me up was drunk. and i HAD no other choices. i called a SHITLOAD of people. either they were sleeping and didnt answer or drunk themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    Fuck that bitch. A dignified woman would have paid for a cab ride home from jail to minimize the drama. Gah.

    On the bright side, kudos to things getting better for you.
    well, that might not've been possible. when i got my dui, my money was mysteriously gone from my purse. i couldnt have gotten a cab if i wanted to. plus sometimes that isnt allowed. you have to be released to someone.

  23. #23
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    Britt244, did you see the part where I said I even helped her move? When I'm moving my "friends" magically disappear. And it isn't all about the material shit. I was just pointing out that it's not like I never have gone out of my way for this chic.

    She did get a ride from jail. She wanted me to take her to the airport because her car had been impounded when she got her DUI.

    I still can't believe she is pissed off at me.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    ^ i also asked if you told her why you wouldnt pick her up. if not, i'd be pissed too. like, if my friend just said no for what i thought was no reason.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a bad friend ? Or a responsible adult?

    That was a mature, responsible decision you made for yourself that she didn't make for her own self. Why would she want you to chance getting a DUI right after she just got one?!! Sounds to me like she needs to grow up, maybe some tough love will help her. You don't need people in your life that will bring you down with them.

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