Please excuse me if I already wrote something similar before. But I am wondering how you would react to this, and new feedback is always welcome.
Two years ago, I had an accidental pregnancy(condom broke, then the morning after pill failed). At the time I was 23, college grad, living independently with my own place, solid credit. I was making good money stripping. I didn't have a full-time job in my field yet(this was back when I had no relevant work experience and nobody wanted to give me a chance), and trust me I wasn't proud of this fact, but I was actively looking and I was stripping in the meantime to support myself. I wasn't in a perfect situation to be having a kid, but I was doing WORLDS better than just a short year or two prior, when I was stuck working in retail and crashing on my friend's sofa because my family disowned me. I thought I was more than able to take care of this baby, therefore there'd be no good reason for me to get an abortion, since I am opposed to abortion for the most part. An uneducated vulnerable teen girl I was NOT!...I was a stable 20something with an education and an income!
However, it seemed that 80% of my so-called "friends"(and their busybody boyfriends) disagreed with me. They made me feel a bit insensible and irresponsible for NOT wanting to get an abortion. Some of these damn hypocrites had kids themselves at younger ages than I was, yet it was "fine" for them but not for me. I felt slighted and I felt that a lot of people underestimated me.
As luck turns out, I miscarried(probably at least partly due to the stress I felt from everyone discouraging me). But I used the pregnancy as a learning experience for ways to prepare better in case this happened again. I fixed many of the problems that my opposers had cited before as reasons as to why I shouldn't have that kid. For example, I bought myself full coverage health insurance. I searched even harder for a "regular" job, so that I would still be able to work and make income during the later stages of pregnancy...and half a year later, I landed a full-time job that allowed me to quit stripping! I was very proud of my new accomplishments and felt more able-bodied than ever before.
Then last spring, my friends were joking around with our guy friend, and somehow he misinterpreted something they said as thinking I was pregnant. When I talked to him on the phone, he started off by saying, "Whyyyyy are you happy about thiiiiiissss? A pregnancy is gonna ruin your life." I was so hurt! Here I was, 24 yrs old, thinking that I was more able-bodied than ever...but apparently not! Meanwhile, this guy's 22-yr-old cousin was pregnant, and he was viewing it differently and happier! ??? Another person(my ex's new gf's sister-in-law, who has kids of her own) said to me in a slightly lecturing voice, "You know that it is hard being pregnant, right? It's not something to take lightly."
Is there a reason why people seem to keep doing this? Is there something I'm missing? This kind of condescending double standard hasn't just happened to me with the baby thing...I've seen people have similar attitudes about me wanting to buy a house, too. (Come to think of it, there's a lot of parallels and similarities between having a kid and buying a house) Or better yet...has anyone else experienced this, or am I the only one?
EDIT: I appreciate everyones' feedback so far on how I shouldn't pay attention to people that doubt me. But now I'm curious as to what YOUR opinions are. Was I "off my rocker" to actually think that I was more capable and stable than your average 15-yr-old? Or, was I well-suited and just needed to filter out the negativity?? I noticed Cutey5032's pregnancy thread and how supportive you guys were, saying "You'll do great, don't worry." Do you guys feel that way about me, or do you think that maybe I'm missing a few things and therefore was 'not ready'?


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