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Thread: Broken promises

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Broken promises

    Have you guys ever broken a promise or a pledge before? I have, and I'm wondering if I'm going to break my most recent promise.

    Last year, I was dating a guy that wanted me to quit smoking. After all, it's healthier that way. So I decided to give up smoking for Lent(the start of Lent also coincided nicely with his birthday). But a month later when he started avoiding me and cheating on me, I stopped caring. I went out to a bar to pick up some guys and the guys there bought me drinks, and you know how well smoking Newports and drinking go together...lol so that pledge got broken. Even though giving up something for Lent is (in a way) a promise to God, I also kinda saw it as a promise to the guy who wanted me to quit smoking...and now it seemed absolutely pointless to hold up to something that an ASSHOLE wanted me to fulfill. In a way, breaking my promise to stop smoking felt like I was spiting my now-ex.

    Now this year, I promised to become less promiscuous after I found out that some of the hoes I was hanging with either had wives or an STD(luckily I'm clean and I didn't encounter any wives!). When I was anxiously awaiting my STD test results, I prayed a lot and promised God that I would change my ways if my tests came back clean(and they did). But now as I write on SW about a guy I'm seeing that's been putting his friends ahead of me on his priority list, people tell me that I should ditch the guy and move on. But moving on means going back to how I was before, and I wonder if that is a violation of my promise that I made to be a little more moral with my dating practices. I don't give a shit about disappointing a guy, but God?...not such a good idea.

    Is this wrong? Feedback?

  2. #2
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    ( I feel like I'm stalking you today, LOL)

    Do you think that God would want you to be stuck with a man who treats you poorly?
    There is absolutly nothing immoral about leavign a man who treats you badly.

    I'm sure that God understands that you have to date around in order to find the right person.

    But if it really bothers you....yu don't have to be promiscious in order to date....maybe you should make a new rule that says you can date as many men as you wish, but only have sex after a relationship has been established. Then you'll be less promiscious....

    ( although my own personal opinionis there ain't a damn thing wrong with promiscuity as long as the proper precautions are taken.)

    Oh. and I've broken every single promise or pledge I'v ever made to myself. I can't stick to anything.

  3. #3
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    Man, I think I want to go to a bar by myself and just pick up some dude to take home and fuck. But I'm afraid. Done it travelling, many times, but its kind of weird to do so locally.

    Chances are, I wouldn't find anyone worth fucking, or he would be unavailable.

    Sorry, threadjack.

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  4. #4
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    Change your ways. Okay. That does not mean you will be taking risks you did. You are breaking no promise to God as far as i see. If this is about God, then God wants you to be happy and safe at the same time. Date! It's normal. It's how we pick a mate.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tara_SW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    as far as the smoking part goes, I think unless you pledged to quit for yourself and your own health the no smoking thing probably wasn't going to last anyway so don't beat yourself up too much. When your ready to quit for you and not someone else it will happen.

  6. #6
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    ( I feel like I'm stalking you today, LOL)

    Do you think that God would want you to be stuck with a man who treats you poorly?
    There is absolutly nothing immoral about leavign a man who treats you badly.

    I'm sure that God understands that you have to date around in order to find the right person.

    But if it really bothers you....yu don't have to be promiscious in order to date....maybe you should make a new rule that says you can date as many men as you wish, but only have sex after a relationship has been established. Then you'll be less promiscious....

    ( although my own personal opinionis there ain't a damn thing wrong with promiscuity as long as the proper precautions are taken.)

    Oh. and I've broken every single promise or pledge I'v ever made to myself. I can't stick to anything.
    LOL don't worry, you're not stalking...I actually appreciate your feedback.

    This guy isn't treating me badly, it's just that he's been hanging out with me less than I'd like during his holiday break home from the military. He hasn't seen his buddies in over a year so it's understandable to an extent. But I just want to make sure that he's not blowing me off, since I've been so obsessed lately with demanding respect and being assertive and all that good stuff. I don't want to hold out for someone that perhaps isn't holding out for me. He's not meeting girls or anything(it's just his guy friends and this girl Heather, who I know is like a sister to him the way my friend M--k is like a brother to me) so I don't suspect he's "cheating"(would it even be cheating if he was meeting girls? are we even together? IDK), but I just want to make sure that the guys I see are giving me full priority.

    As far as the "no sex" thing until I'm in a relationship...I can't do that. I haven't dated in a long time so I'm no good with the whole dating thing. I can't go for very long without sex. The longest I've gone without sex in a LONG time was 3 weeks, and that was only because I was waiting for STD test results after finding out that this one gay(or bisexual?) guy I hooked up with had something(I turned out to be clean of everything), and even then...I ended up "snapping" and hooking up with a guy I'd had my eye on a few days before all of my results were in(eeeeek!).

  7. #7
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Man, I think I want to go to a bar by myself and just pick up some dude to take home and fuck. But I'm afraid. Done it travelling, many times, but its kind of weird to do so locally.

    Chances are, I wouldn't find anyone worth fucking, or he would be unavailable.

    Sorry, threadjack.
    It's cool...I sometimes have urgings to do the same thing. Hells, I'll probably run into at least one of my fuck buddies at work tonight(they come in as customers sometimes). That happened last weekend, when one of them(a friend of the club owner, actually) visited and suggested that we hang out. But I told him "no" because I knew that my ex was in town and it wouldn't be fair to my ex for me to be fucking around when he came to see me.

  8. #8
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Broken promises

    Quote Originally Posted by Tara_SW View Post
    as far as the smoking part goes, I think unless you pledged to quit for yourself and your own health the no smoking thing probably wasn't going to last anyway so don't beat yourself up too much. When your ready to quit for you and not someone else it will happen.
    Yeah I was only planning to do the no-smoking thing for Lent, although I(and my now-ex) were kinda hoping that perhaps I would choose to not go back to it after Lent, since smoking is one of my most unhealthy habits(along with having promiscuous sex with people I'm not in a relationship with LOL).

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