Okay, GoldCoastGirl was right - I was a workaholic. I need to find a way to balance pleasure and work instead of working purely because I feel the need/pressure/love to.
I have lost a few friends because of my addictions to work recently; I was going so far as to take far away work events when I knew it wasn't worth the money ($60 two hour waitressing shifts when petrol there and back + tolls costs $35 and 1.5 EACH WAY hours driving! No way - no more!).
For the New Year I have quit all pub shifts; I will only do private waitressing now (I am SO good at upgrading private parties, so I still do those). I am trying to make appointments with friends so I can't work Thursdays (it will be our 'gym day' so we can hang out, gossip, work out and have a day I can be with someone other than a coworker!).
I just feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot though. Like, I know those pub shifts were definitely hurting my money more than making it (I swear the damage on my car cost more than I was making each trip!)... but cutting out Thursdays? Setting a stricter 'only work Friday and Saturday shows and weekday private waitressing' seems a bit...much. I always said to myself 'you're not going to get the work if you don't put in the hours'...but I think I need to learn I'm -okay- 'only' making $1500 a week (my slowest weeks, where I'm usually relaxed and happy and have plenty of free time).. that the world WON'T end if I deny a shift or stop working ONE day a week to have to myself.
It's hard. All the girls on here say 'work your ass off because you won't have it forever' and lord knows I really do honestly love this job...but I'm losing myself and my dignity in some aspects of it.
Maybe this is my New Years resolution? Find a happy medium? I dunno.
I will still accept far away shifts and do those 'omgpleasehelp' favours for my boss (can't deny it, I get thrilled when she calls me a 'legend' for being there for her)... learn to say no and that it ISN'T the end of the world and, hey, if I only get five cheap shows a week, that's still little over a thousand dollars in my pocket and only about ten hours out of my week.
So the world won't end...right? Right?
I'm not insane wanting to stop an addiction to earning money...right? I work hard but I relax/play hard, too...
I dunno; this thread isn't just about me, either. I know some girls here have the same problem; but probably don't see it as a problem! Maybe we can all tell eachother we're not nuts and that it's okay to miss a night of work and relax?
(Hah, opposite job most strippers, hm?)



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Yay! You've established boundaries!

Thanks Qwerty; now I know my need to work is just wired in me.

thus I want to work smarter not harder 
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