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Thread: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

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    Default Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I hear many dancers either at the club or girls on here talk about their regulars. My "friends" at work, especially this one girl who I really like and who is really a friend always has customers coming in to see her and taking her for a couple hours. The other night one of her customers gave her a $1,000 gift card to Bloomingdales on top of her doing 2 hours. Now, she is good at working them, giving them her number, talking to them on the phone sporadically and occasionally having a cocktail with them OTC for cash but them still come back even with her seeing them OTC.

    Since I've been dancing a yr and a half, I've had 1 customer who came to see me twice and stopped because I wasn't naughty enough (found out from another dancer who he sees who's open about being naughty there) and this other guy came to see me 3 times but then it became the "I'm in love with you, I want to take you out......". The girls told me to string him along with the "I'm not comfortable going out with you yet, come in a few more times......" but I just couldn't do that, I felt bad leading someone on. I did even have lunch with him just to see what it was like and realized how much of a fantasy land the SC is and knew I couldn't go out with him again cuz I just didn't like him "that way". He continued to call me but I never accepted or returned his calls again. The girls told him to have him come in and see me again but I just didn't feel right about it for some reason, I felt wrong about leading him on and am afraid if I lead someone on like that, that eventually one of them will become angry and become psycho on me and become a crazy stalker.

    So, this is my dilemma, I just don't/can't get regulars for some reason like other girls do. I still do very well at the club and for the most part don't have too many bad nights, I always target new customers, however, it would be nice to have some regulars that would come in to bring me presents and have a guaranteed vip time.

    Any thoughts or suggestions? Thank you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I only get horny when I've tucked a few benjamins in my thong; it's a money fetish.."

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I have to ask, if you do well in your club without having regulars, why worry about it? Regulars can become high maintenance, and take up quite a bit of your time...and there is never a "guarantee" that you will get vip time or make as much as you're expecting off of them.

    I danced for six years off and on (more on than off), and never amassed the regular clientele that I saw many other dancers have. There were a few here and there who I could always count on for a cocktail, some decent conversation, and a few bucks at least and those were good enough for me. They didn't care when I left the table to hustle elsewhere, and had enough sense to pay me for the time I did spend with them. For the most part though, I never really wanted to cultivate enough of a relationship with ANY custie to turn it into a regular thing with them. It would have been too time consuming and draining in my opinion, to make it worth the effort.

    So to get to the point finally, there is not a thing wrong with you! If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

    Also, one thing that always worked well for me was getting to know some of the club regulars. Rather than focusing on making them "my" customers, I got out of them what I could on a semi-daily, or weekly, or monthly basis without making them feel hustled. That can be a good way to get a little regular income without the hassle of having to develop what you are thinking of in terms of a regular.
    Stripping was my Mr. Big....the best bad relationship I ever had.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    The guys who want to come back and see me get really into my personality and conversation. Wankers and random pervs just come in for any hot chick but to get regulars I think you have to show your personality in an interesting way.

    Sometimes I will sit and talk with a customer for a song or two after he had taken me for private dances and that gives him the opportunity to tell me he would like to see me again.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Passenger View Post
    I have to ask, if you do well in your club without having regulars, why worry about it? Regulars can become high maintenance, and take up quite a bit of your time...and there is never a "guarantee" that you will get vip time or make as much as you're expecting off of them.
    I agree with this.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    The guys who want to come back and see me get really into my personality and conversation. Wankers and random pervs just come in for any hot chick but to get regulars I think you have to show your personality in an interesting way.
    Disagree. Totally. In order to have big-spending regulars, you have to mind-fuck them. You have to lie and flirt, feign interest, etc. More so than normal. Only once in a blue moon will you get that guy who wants to spend and spend with no expecations.

    And of course, the moment a girl at your club on SW gets that guy, she's going to brag to the heavens about him. Its human nature.

    Leogirl, I understand how you feel. When I heard about girls getting shopping sprees, no cars, etc, I felt that tinge of envy. But in order to get those things, you have to place yourself in that position.

    I never felt comfortable with that at all, and I did just fine. 98% of the time, regulars are a game of diminishing returns. Why try to suck a bone dry over 6 months, when you can suck him dry then and there, on that very night?

    If you aren't comfortable with the regular thing, work on the above strategy. I found it very effective, but it takes a different kind of energy and patience.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Passenger View Post
    I have to ask, if you do well in your club without having regulars, why worry about it? Regulars can become high maintenance, and take up quite a bit of your time...and there is never a "guarantee" that you will get vip time or make as much as you're expecting off of them.

    I danced for six years off and on (more on than off), and never amassed the regular clientele that I saw many other dancers have. There were a few here and there who I could always count on for a cocktail, some decent conversation, and a few bucks at least and those were good enough for me. They didn't care when I left the table to hustle elsewhere, and had enough sense to pay me for the time I did spend with them. For the most part though, I never really wanted to cultivate enough of a relationship with ANY custie to turn it into a regular thing with them. It would have been too time consuming and draining in my opinion, to make it worth the effort.

    So to get to the point finally, there is not a thing wrong with you! If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

    Also, one thing that always worked well for me was getting to know some of the club regulars. Rather than focusing on making them "my" customers, I got out of them what I could on a semi-daily, or weekly, or monthly basis without making them feel hustled. That can be a good way to get a little regular income without the hassle of having to develop what you are thinking of in terms of a regular.
    Thank you for your advice! Perhaps you're right, I do hear that regulars can drain you and maybe I'm not wanting that. I guess I didn't look at it from your POV. Thanks again for reassuring me that I'm not doing anything wrong and perhaps my wrong style is just different from some others. I guess as long as I'm making money and doing well for the most part, I shouldn't complain.
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I only get horny when I've tucked a few benjamins in my thong; it's a money fetish.."

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    leogrl,
    Not everybody has regulars. I don't have any "hardcore" regulars, just some guys who always get LDs with me when they come in, and I always do very well. And I don't feel as if my income depends on a select few guys.

    Also, sometimes regulars become cheaper over time. Like, they'll have less and less money and think that you want to spend time with them anyways, or worse, that you're entitled to spend time with them because they have given you $$ in the past. And remember, its only a matter of time before they start haranging you about spending time OTC. Also, they usually want to know all about your personal life----in my experience that shit can get exhausting.

    It works for some girls, not for others. If the guy is nice, I'd feel really bad about stringing him along too. And remember, you'll never have to "take work home" with you---as in, have to deal with a regular calling you and texting you when you're not at work or in "work mode"!!!!

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    In order to have big-spending regulars, you have to mind-fuck them. You have to lie and flirt, feign interest, etc. More so than normal.
    Actually, I disagree with that. Although I do put on an act when I'm working in the club, it is usually with less effort that I do this, when I am spending time with me regulars, than with some random customer I just met. You do not have to mind-fuck them to the extent that you're assuming, all you have to do is show them that you "care" for them a little bit more than an ordinary customer: remember little details about previous conversations and their personal life, ask them how their week has been, tell them that you missed them, etc. These are little things, people, not that hard to do. Personally, I love the days when I can dance for just my regulars - those type of days are easy money and stress-free.

    Quote Originally Posted by leogirl876 View Post
    I hear many dancers either at the club or girls on here talk about their regulars. My "friends" at work, especially this one girl who I really like and who is really a friend always has customers coming in to see her and taking her for a couple hours. The other night one of her customers gave her a $1,000 gift card to Bloomingdales on top of her doing 2 hours. Now, she is good at working them, giving them her number, talking to them on the phone sporadically and occasionally having a cocktail with them OTC for cash but them still come back even with her seeing them OTC.
    I also wanted to say that you do not have to see them OTC for them to like you and keep coming back to see you. I have several regulars that I've known for years that I have never seen OTC, yet they are still as interested in me as they were when they first met me.

    I think the main thing about cultivating regulars is to just make them feel like they matter, that you care about what they have to say, and that you have agreat time hanging out with them. So many guys come into strip clubs just for attention, and you can easily provide that! Also, being at work on a regular and consistent basis (something that I do have to work on, I'm not going to deny that ) helps tremendously when it comes to building up a clientele. And if you can call and talk to them once in a while on the phone, that's even better!

    Anyways, hope this helped.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elusive21 View Post
    Actually, I disagree with that. Although I do put on an act when I'm working in the club, it is usually with less effort that I do this, when I am spending time with me regulars, than with some random customer I just met. You do not have to mind-fuck them to the extent that you're assuming, all you have to do is show them that you "care" for them a little bit more than an ordinary customer: remember little details about previous conversations and their personal life, ask them how their week has been, tell them that you missed them, etc. These are little things, people, not that hard to do. Personally, I love the days when I can dance for just my regulars - those type of days are easy money and stress-free.
    See, I am the opposite. And this is just our unique personalities. However, I did like the regulars I had, and enjoyed dancing for them. But these weren't any "big ticket" guys. Just regular dudes who would spend a couple of hundred a couple of times, and move on. I think leogirl is talking about those hardcore regulars that pay tuition and take the dancer on shopping sprees?

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by leogirl876 View Post
    Thank you for your advice! Perhaps you're right, I do hear that regulars can drain you and maybe I'm not wanting that. I guess I didn't look at it from your POV. Thanks again for reassuring me that I'm not doing anything wrong and perhaps my wrong style is just different from some others. I guess as long as I'm making money and doing well for the most part, I shouldn't complain.
    You're welcome hon.
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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    ive had a few regulars, and when i think about it the ones that stayed with me the longest and have been loyal and constant (1-3 times a week) are the ones i didnt mind fuck. yes ive gotten regulars from mind fucking, but it always blows up within a month or 2 when they realize i wont go out with them. the ones that ive kept for a long time are the ones that have a mutual understanding with me. that i wont see them outside, im just a fantasy...somewhere to goto..talk to..to get away from everything. i guess i keep them for so long cuz im honest with them. i'm their break away from real life, and slowly i put the impression on them that they're my break away from the club and real life too. that they're a friend whom i can talk to about anything i want since nothing in the champagne room is real.. =) slowly they'll neeed me like therapy...and i'll "need them" to get away from the insanity of our club.. ahah im gettin to into it now but didnt really give you good advice. how does one GET a regular? i give them a very very good dance and lure them in, and the more we dance, the more we talk, then the more he likes me..

    i guess pickin the guys has a lot to do with it. some are regular material..some arent...bluntly, look for the older, lonely guy who doesnt have much in his life to spend his time and money on.. =/

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I only ever had "one" regular, and once we hung out outside of work 2 x he thought I was a friend and stopped spending dough on me. Whatever!! I have the occassional guys that are in town and come back for another night or call me when they are in town, but I don't really consider that a regular.

    Regulars seem like a lot of work...just try to get as much money out of each guy THAT DAY....if they come back great, but you never know.
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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I find regulars will want you to dance for them for a while then they want more then dancing and when your not willing to do that .. they no longer want to see you....thats just my personal experience though..
    I don't chase money. Money chases me.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I've always felt regs are too high-maintenance and therefore never had many. The few that I have had lasted a short bit of time, then fell off b/c I wasn't willing to play the game. If you have the mental energy for them, great. If you don't have it, don't try to force it. It's exhausting.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I have a hard time getting and keeping regulars also. I've had a few guys become mildly obsessed with me and come in to see me a few times... and then I never hear from them again.

    Part of this i guess is my refusal to keep in contact outside of the club. I've never given out my phone number. I like to keep work at work. Having lunch with a PL or even a really nice guy that I honestly don't want to be with isn't my idea of fun. I like to make big bucks in the club and say SEE YA BITCH!! to them at the end of the night.

    But yes.... I am slightly jealous of the girls at work who come in at 12 midnight and leave at 4am because they have called their customers in. They go straight back to VIP and even make these customers wait on them to get ready. Then they leave with twice what I leave with... and I worked 2x the hours.

    However, it seems that these girls would just die if they lost their 1 or 2 regular well-spending customers. "My rent is due tomorrow. I really need John to stop fucking around and get in here. He said he was coming in tonight!" (I hear this crap in the DR almost every night!) Disclaimer: Of course, this is not the case with all girls or all regulars or both.

    I think that maybe I'm just the kind of stripper who loves the hunt. I never know what my night will be like. Ever. I've only just recently had one customer with whom I'd shared an email address write to me to make sure I'd be at work on a given night. When I came into work, I knew i'd be walking with a grand. And I did. And I felt like I was meeting someone for a date instead of going to work. I didn't like it at all. He even said in an email "Save yourself only for me." Ewwww.

    I'm much more confident as a stripper that knows I can find my $$$ for the night, night after night. It's just the type of hustle that I enjoy. I think I'm good at closing a lot of sales, some semi-large sales, and the occaisional incredibly huge account... as opposed to the sales people that just go balls-to-the-wall for whales.
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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    You are concentrating too much on the "white knight" regular.

    I'm married. I wear my ring at work and I do not see clients outside the club. Now, I don't have the "buy me a new car" type of regulars, but I DO have a steady stream of clients who provide repeat business because they trust me because I'm honest. These are the guys who are married themselves, had a bad day, and need some boobies, beer and fun before they go home and the wife makes hands the kids over. They are good for a few hundred bucks, not the entire night in VIP, but if you befriend them they are consistent and can help turn a so-so night into a good one.
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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Yeah, I think britney's regs sound much more manageable than the "omg, my rents due tomorrow, I need so-and-so to come in and keep me in VIP all night!!" kind of regs. You don't want to be dependent on them.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Id love a store gift card as a gift, how useful would that be and i wouldnt have to declare it to the club so they take a percentage!!
    I did have one regular but he lives in america anyway so hardly see him!!! I see lots of the girls have regulars , I dont really get the concept to be honest.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by britneyireland View Post
    They are good for a few hundred bucks, not the entire night in VIP, but if you befriend them they are consistent and can help turn a so-so night into a good one.
    These are the only kinds of regulars I have. I have a few guys who come in each day that I work who I know are good for 5-10 dances, a joke and a drink. I cannot do the whole "I actually really like you" thing in order to get bigger money, I will not promise or do OTC, no phone calls or ANYTHING.

    This is after 2 regs who went psycho after like a month each, and I decided fuck that, the money's not worth the hassle and psychos.

    My regulars are strip-club players who play their part of the game and let me play mine and leave it at that. I love those guys.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    If you're one of those girls who is always table hopping then there's little chance you'll accumulate regulars. Usually regulars are the guys that you invest alot of time with. I've had a handful of regulars in my five years and it has to do with me sitting down with them for a couple hours at a time and having convo after convo with them. I know alot of girls I work with are impatient. They want a dance within the first few songs. That's fine and it works for them but they are also the girls who can't accumulate the regulars and who are screwed when the slow times come around.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    That's fine and it works for them but they are also the girls who can't accumulate the regulars and who are screwed when the slow times come around.
    ^^^I've seen it work the other way around too. A lot of times there are no regulars in the building and none to be called in. A girl really has to know how to sell dances in a near empty room with lots of competition while bagging a VIP or two from guys she's never met. I've had to do it.

    The girl whose hustle consists of primarily courting regulars often has a hard time switching gears and hustling cold turkey. I see these girls in the dressing room bitching and leaving early whereas I'll work a full shift and do very well regardless.
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    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
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    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
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    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I have a few regulars:

    * M is an aspiring sugar daddy, who I mindfucked like crazy. He offered to take me shopping, so I jumped at the opportunity and milked it for all I can a few times. Since then he's tried to get more out of me for less, *wink wink*, which I'm not willing to offer. I can still get dances and whatnot out of him, but it takes more energy and effort than it's really worth. To lure him into the club I have to sweet talk him on the phone, pretending to be in love with him, tell him I'll go on vacations with him that I won't, etc. etc. etc. Deep down I think he knows it's a game, but at the same time he clings on to hope... and thats what keeps the $ flowing.

    * J on the other hand, is a godsend. He's never asked me out, badgered me for my #, etc. etc., but always buys more dances than M. I'm not myself around M, but I am around J, and J told me thats what he likes about me. Guys like J aren't there to play games, and are actually turned off by girls who do so. They're few and far between, but when you find them, treat them well and they'll respond accordingly.

    After reading your post, I think you're best off seeking regulars like J, opposed to M. I think playing mind games would grate at your concsience too much and end up adding unnecessary stress to your life.

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    I have one hard core regular who is pretty much a stalker now. He told me next week it's our one year anniversary, he buys me presents, he spends a lot of money but it's exhausting. I never meant to get him to be a regular, it just happened. He just had the personality where he was gonna latch on to whoever paid him the slightest attention.

    Then I have a couple of guys who just enjoy the SC experience and when they come in - some once a week, some once a month, some once every now and then, I know they will be good for at least one dance.

    It's not something you can force it's just something that happens.

    I agree with some of the other posters here. The regular I described at the top is one you do not want to get! Believe me.
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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    i <3 regulars. but mine aren't the sugardaddy 'buy you whatever you like' high-maintenance kind... i also refuse contact outside the club so mine tend to understand the boundaries. I actually agree with the whole playing up the personality thing... maybe it's the absence of alcohol/party atmosphere at my club, maybe it's the fact that it's daytime, i dunno... i tend to get the quirky, semi socially awkward but really interesting guys... for this i'm tremendously grateful!

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    Default Re: Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?

    Regulars are overrated IMO. I had a few, but they usually were a big headache at one time or another.

    I liked going to new clubs where no one knew me. I had no preconceived notions about who was going to spend and who wouldn't. Frequently I would sell to customers that the regular girls had written off as cheap or non-spenders. It was always fun to hear the girls asking in the dressing room "How did you get that guy to buy a VIP? He's never bought a VIP before."

    You don't need regulars to earn good money in this business. I actually went out of my way to avoid regulars from time to time.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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