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Thread: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    New boy, from Craigslist. A couple of things about him:

    1. He's a staunch Republican. Not only that, he's very politically active and outspoken about it. He was tickled pink that Huckabee won Iowa. I'm not a strong fan of the Dems., but I do have my own very strong, and opposing political beliefs.

    2. He talks a lot. Way too much. Doesn't shut his mouth. And I also talk a lot. Is there room for 2 blabbermouths in a blossoming relationship? He doesn't even shutup during sex. He keeps wanting me to talk to him about my fantasies and experiences.

    But I don't know if he wants to hear the real stuff...or milder, more palpatable stuff. I love talking dirty, but sometimes I just want to grunt and enjoy the PRESENT moment.

    3. He lives in the suburbs. Deep in the suburbs. I hate the suburbs. And he likes to sleep in his own bed, and already stated he is almost totally unwilling to stay the night in a bed not his own. I have back problems and his bed is super soft.


    There are many good qualities to boot though. He is smart, funny, successful, attractive, kind, good in bed, unattached, etc.....


    Would any, or all of the above 3 attributes destroy a potential relationship for you? Discuss.....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  2. #2
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    The first one would be a deal breaker for me.

    The talking during sex all the time - another annoying thing I dont think I could deal with long term.

    The bed thing, that may take some time but Im sure hed get over it eventually...
    could always get one of those sleep # beds and have his side soft and youre how you like it if the relationship did progress...

  3. #3
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Damn, now ya got me looking at CL personals....

  4. #4
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    Damn, now ya got me looking at CL personals....
    Its fun! But if you write your own with specific request and instructions, you might get exactly what you want!

    And I just spent $900 on a fancy gel bedtopper, plus did some engineering on my existing bed to make it stronger and more supportive for my back. His bed sucks, and it takes 25 minutes to get home. Not that bad. But it would take 45 in the morning, trying to race into town with all the other miserable suburbanites....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Depends what kind of potential relationship.

    Casual: no prob. Life partnership: differing political ideologies is a HUGE hurdle, imo. One of both of you will have a built in lack of respect for the others beliefs. You can pretend not, but really...

    Not willing to stay in an outside bed = not good at compromise. If you need compromise, not good.

    I've seen lots of happy couples who both don't shut up. I don't see that as a problem.

    Scarlett sez: Enjoy him as long as he's enjoyable to you, forget about forging a relationship or 'the future'. You'll psyche yourself out.

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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    I'm a guy and I wouldn't want to hang out with this d00d based on your description. ... sounds like a douche.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    The 1st would be a deal breaker. I can barely even stand to be in the same room with a Republican after Bush though. For you it may not be such a big deal. Although, if your really liberal it def will in the future imo.

    The other stuff doesn't sound like such a big deal. If you are really open-minded and non-arguementative you should be able to get around the political issue as well. You should be able to tell if he would be worth the effort pretty quickly.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    Scarlett sez: Enjoy him as long as he's enjoyable to you, forget about forging a relationship or 'the future'. You'll psyche yourself out.
    But I always do! I get so excited about new dick and start to paint this picture of the future. Like the black guy I was talking to over the summer, remember? I was concerned about what my racist-ass parents would think if it got serious? And in the end, I soon dumped him because he was too needy.

    That's just me. Lonely and idealistic.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    if i was a domme and got to duct-tape over his mouth, then he might work.

    however, as i'm not prone to doing these types of things, his Little Politician would never get any campaign contributions from my staunchly liberal nether region.

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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    The third isn't a deal breaker as if there is a will there is a way. I don't expect my ideal person to be living within 15 min of me considering some of the Gold Coast is a good half hour or longer drive from where I am (Surfers Paradise the centre of the Gold Coast is a half hour trip).

    The first two are a deal breaker for me. I don't like Huck because he used to be (and probably still is???) a Baptist preacher. Whatever happened to the separation of church and state? He's the ultimate in this separate NOT happening..

    The second one with him being such a talker even during sex. Um. Yeah. Real deal breaker as it is a huge turn off if he wants me to talk (thus use my brain) during sex. Fuck that.. I'm a noisy bitch. I just want to be pleasured and make noise. The dirty talk is the build up to the sex (the flirtation, the seduction) not during the act itself...


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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    New boy, from Craigslist. A couple of things about him:

    1. He's a staunch Republican. Not only that, he's very politically active and outspoken about it. He was tickled pink that Huckabee won Iowa. I'm not a strong fan of the Dems., but I do have my own very strong, and opposing political beliefs.

    2. He talks a lot. Way too much. Doesn't shut his mouth. And I also talk a lot. Is there room for 2 blabbermouths in a blossoming relationship? He doesn't even shutup during sex. He keeps wanting me to talk to him about my fantasies and experiences.

    But I don't know if he wants to hear the real stuff...or milder, more palpatable stuff. I love talking dirty, but sometimes I just want to grunt and enjoy the PRESENT moment.

    3. He lives in the suburbs. Deep in the suburbs. I hate the suburbs. And he likes to sleep in his own bed, and already stated he is almost totally unwilling to stay the night in a bed not his own. I have back problems and his bed is super soft.


    There are many good qualities to boot though. He is smart, funny, successful, attractive, kind, good in bed, unattached, etc.....


    Would any, or all of the above 3 attributes destroy a potential relationship for you? Discuss.....
    Well, number one is not a deal breaker. Many couples vote for the oppsite party.
    Two and three are not good. When you too have certains, thing that makes you both comfortable. They are totally oppsite of the others, such as living arrangements. It can be a task in the relationship. If you are not willing to travel that far, or if he is not willing to travel all the time. It can be a deal breaker. Well number two can be a deal breaker if the other person. Craves the spotlight too!
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Does he talk so much in bed that it ruins the chemistry for you? Talking a lot might be okay. It depends on how well someone communicates. Is he a good listener? Is he totally self-involved? Does he interrupt you? A guy who interrupts constantly would be a deal breaker.
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    I would say number one is a dealbreaker not because he is a staunch republican, but he supports Mike "Abortion is comparable to Darfur" Huckabee.

  14. #14
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Bleh. I wouldn't go for it, personally. Maybe for fun casual sex and some light dating...

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    Featured Member aussiebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    For me it would probably would be an issue as to whether his good qualities are good enough for me to be completely smitten that I forget about his negatives.

    I think for a long term relationship number 2 could be overcome. Maybe you could let him know that constant talking during sex is a turn off as he might not be aware. Number 3 would depend upon how stubborn he is to change and stay the night or let you stay the night or whatever. This wouldn't be an issue for just casual sex though . How far is the drive between both of your houses?

    Number 1 could be a deal breaker if you both have strong differing political opinions because it would probably mean many differences in your values as well which would effect a long term relationship.

  16. #16
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    I've known some smart Republicans, people I'm close to and people I respect. But no Huckabee supporters. There's a lot of basic incompatibility there.

    Blabbermouths aren't really a problem; early stages of a relationship are always kind of coked-up and chatty. If it doesn't wane, I'd worry. However, talking during sex is the death ray on my libido. I get too up in my head as it is. But if it's something that you think you could deal with or he could change with a little "constructive criticism," then that's a start.

    And the last one I kind of like...it's nice to have personal space to keep new relationships from getting stale too quickly. Just make sure you have time for nooners!

    Dunno just what you're looking for in him, but that makes a big difference in how much effort you should put in to changing him, yanno?


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    Senior Member RandomUser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Mom = Very left Democrat
    Dad = Very right Republican

    5 kids... You have to learn how to work it. Neither of them though will ever say how they voted, so it could have all been bluff and show.

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    Featured Member Ava Jadore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    The talking during sex thing would be annoying for me. A little dirty talk is all fun and good...but he should be focusing more on other things !! If you really like him though then I'd say wait and see how it pans out.
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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    His text messages are annoying me right now, but I'm extremely cranky and irritable. I'm about to take a cat and throw it out the window! (don't worry, I won't)

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by RandomUser View Post
    Mom = Very left Democrat
    Dad = Very right Republican

    5 kids... You have to learn how to work it. Neither of them though will ever say how they voted, so it could have all been bluff and show.
    Five kids, eh? I'd say they knew how to work it. Hahaha.

  21. #21
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Hell, my kids even have opposing politics, and they get along fine. If you can respect each other's opinions, fine. If you can't, no deal.

    Put your hand over his mouth and tell him to shut up sometimes. If he can't respect your need, no deal.

    Tell him you can't sleep in his bed because it's wrecking your back. If he can't respect your health and comfort, no deal.

    Really, good relationships are a lot about mutual respect. But I agree with 9. At first blush, he sounds too self centered to even want to hang and have beers with. It's hard to go to my gal friend (that's you) and then encourage a relationship with him.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    He's a dealbreaker after your second word, "boy".

    And even if a girl, all the rest would irritate the crap out of me.
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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    1. Dealbreaker. UNLESS we're on even keel with everything else in life and thoroughly enjoy each others companionship.

    2. Dealbreaker. I hate unecessary noise or having to pay attention 24/7 without the other person feeling like their being ignored (which they are if they talk a lot). And I hate lots of talking during sex.

    3. Not a dealbreaker. Subarbs wouldn't bother me. It's nice to spend the night outside of NYC every so often. If the bed's too soft, I'd hit the floor.


    #1 and #2 are deal breakers.
    #3 is workable and might even be somewhat nice (since I live in the city).

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    This is a real person?!?!?! I thought this was all hypothetical. If this is a real guy, total dealbreaker. Sounds like an ass.

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    Default Re: Would this Person be a Dealbreaker for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    But I always do! I get so excited about new dick and start to paint this picture of the future. Like the black guy I was talking to over the summer, remember? I was concerned about what my racist-ass parents would think if it got serious? And in the end, I soon dumped him because he was too needy.

    That's just me. Lonely and idealistic.
    Eh, I do the same thing. I think we all do. But I think it's helpful to try not to...I'm trying, anyways.

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