UGH!! So far this year, and always on weekends at my club, we are getting this stupid surge of idiot men who think this is some sort of bad dating service, instead of what it really is.
Excerpts from last night:
Me: "Blah blah blah.....so, ready to go have some more fun?"
Him: "Nah, I don't do lapdances. I'd rather take you on a date."
My head: Honestly, what the fuck. Who said I wanted to go on a date with you in the first place?? Because I definitely don't.
Me (after talking for a song and sensing a douschebag-who-doesn't-spend vibe): "OK, well would you like to go to the back?"
Him: "Nah. You go make your money. Come back later when you've made your money."
My head: Yeah fucken right
(Right after a lapdance)
ME: So do you want to keep going?
HIM: Is that it?? I thought it was 2 for $20! Its ALWAYS been 2 for 20!!
ME: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Um no definitely not.
ME (fed up with this pompous asshole): Well I have to get going. You know, you can tip me.
HIM: I'll give you $100, but only if you go out to dinner with me
ME: $100 just for dinner? OK, bye.
GUY AT THE BAR: Sure I'll buy you a shot. Only if I can get your number first. Write it down right now before I buy it for you
MY HEAD: My damn number for a $10 shot?
ME ACTUALLY: Sure. Here ya go (Writes down number of the club). So how bout that shot?
Just on and on and on like this. Why do all these men want to take a stripper home to meet the parents? Honestly, I'm not that great LOL. Can't they just freakin objectify me and look at my tits and ass!?? The worst part is these guys drop the "lets go on a date" line during a fucken LD, so I feel compelled to say "Maybe" or "Sure we'll talk about it later" (then avoid them) because I want them to STFU and keep spending!!!! If I ever say "I don't know" or "I don't date guys from here" they will launch into some whiny bitchfest "Oh come onnnn. Please? I'm really nice, I'll be so nice to you. I have my cell phone right here nobody's looking."
I used to tell customers I have a boyfriend, but the girls I work with practically died when I told them that. They were like "WTF is wrong with you, say you're single!! Then they'll spend more!!" Honestly, when I tell them "Single" they do not make a beeline for the CR or anything. They just think they can "get" me, which is totally wrong. Monday I'll be back to "having a boyfriend" hahaha. Maybe that'll shut the whining up.



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Unfortunately, the son of a bitch keeps referring to the movie Pretty Woman and how he's going to "rescue" me from this life as soon as he has the money. Maybe that's why I don't feel guilty about leading him on a little bit.... I really don't want to be compared to an 80's hooker.




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