Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 35 of 35

Thread: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

  1. #26
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Wild
    Posts
    1,409
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    IN FLORIDA? What the hell?
    Don't blame Florida, blame Comcast. Their version of "basic cable" provides me with 6 channels beyond the networks: Hallmark, Sci-Fi, Bravo, Travel, the shopping channel thing, and Discovery Health (but not regular Discovery). At least I get the Twilight Zone and Anthony Bourdain (and Little House on the Prairie, if I chose to indulge). No Spanish anything, and no Adult Swim either.


    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    When you get back from Mexico, you NEED to come to Portland and hang out for a bit!
    I was actually thinking the same thing! I have never been to Portland, but so many people that I think are incredible are there, and I've really got to make the effort to go before I turn into a real grownup and have a job-with-commitments, which I hope to have by this time next year.

    Quote Originally Posted by SundayMorning View Post
    Riding that fine line between stalker and psychosexual hottie, that's TOO.
    I know, right? I'm still all breathless and swooning over the attention to personal detail. I mean, he managed to work my cat's correct gender, breed, color and size into that narrative, as well as my history as a figure model and love of fruit. Amazing. The only thing he got wrong was the part about the piercings; I no longer have any. Sorry, TOO You were close, but a few months too late.

    I did once learn some bad words in Russian. Here, I might make a total fool of myself, but I think this is how it sounded phonetically:

    yopt va you mas

    as well as

    tee show-pa

    ...I was told these were pretty serious bad words and I should avoid saying them to a Russian-speaking person. Is this at all true, or was I taught to say something like, "Kick me, I'm a stupid American?"
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

  2. #27
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    2,451
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 601 Times in 233 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    Quote Originally Posted by teeth_of_the_hydra View Post
    He managed to work my cat's correct gender, breed, color and size into that narrative, as well as my history as a figure model and love of fruit. Amazing. The only thing he got wrong was the part about the piercings; I no longer have any. Sorry, TOO You were close, but a few months too late.
    Teeth, Sunday and Rose, thank you for your impossibly kind words.

    Sorry about the piercings. Like I said, you are swift and magical like a cat, and often hard to keep up with.

    Anyway, I feel that I have somehow let you down, Teeth. There were eight more subtle aspects of all your favorite things in life woven through that wish list. I must have buried them too far down for you to see.

    Also, number 3 is a paradox, a riddle, a joke and double entendre all infused with little pieces of your life. I blew that one, too.

    Here's what you have in Russian:

    yopt va you mas
    better rendered as:
    yop tvoyu mat'

    which is essentially, "fuck you," (lit.: "I fucked your mother.")

    Your other one:

    tee show-pa

    is really close, but better rendered:

    tee zhopa
    which basically means "you are an asshole."

    On the Russian obscenity scale, these are extremely tame. There are so many physically-impossible, sick, nasty, twisted things you can say to people in Russian that you wonder sometimes if the language was invented for just that purpose!

  3. #28
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Wild
    Posts
    1,409
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Anyway, I feel that I have somehow let you down, Teeth. There were eight more subtle aspects of all your favorite things in life woven through that wish list. I must have buried them too far down for you to see.
    Oh hush... let me down? After that post? You could ring my doorbell and kick me in the shins tomorrow morning before I've even had coffee and I wouldn't be let down. I caught the bacon reference, but I suspect you may think I'm quicker on the uptake than I really am. For example, I had never even heard of Schrödinger's cat, and the Wikipedia article-- the laywoman's desktop reference-- threatens to make my head collapse. So you may have to illuminate the subtleties, my dear.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Also, number 3 is a paradox, a riddle, a joke and double entendre all infused with little pieces of your life. I blew that one, too.
    Will it ruin the magic if I request illumination of this one as well? Try as I might, I can't break it down. But I find it sweet and touching that you think I'm clever enough to get it... haha... I dropped out of "hard college" because everyone kept making those assumptions. Regular college (Go Bulls!) made fewer demands on my indolent analysis muscles.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

  4. #29
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    2,451
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 601 Times in 233 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    ^ I happen to be irrationally fond of your indolent analysis muscles, particularly when they are squeaking. It's a particular fetish of mine. But more on that later.

    I wrote that entire post as a puzzle, of course. I couldn't do you justice without indulging your greatest weakness for puzzles. But explain the joke, ruin the humor, my dear. And explain the flirtatious, sex-drenched, epicurean, fetishistic Bacchanalian ego-stroking? I can't do that. Then nobody cums tonight. I owe Sunday and Lola so much more.

    I could explain all the subtleties, but let's not go too far down that road. Just notice that the sheets are black; they warm us both in front of the cold refrigerator; your eyes are this spectacular green, your favorite color; your tattoos are a whole subject on their own; you play Scrabble in another language and your body modeling has this powerful, erotic mental sexual track unfolding where you actually have to be careful about what color clothing you are wearing because...

    Look, I may have blown the piercings, but I didn't quite lose the entire game.

    Your life pleasures and indulgences have five powerful gravitational centers: Food, cats, games, writing and sex. Every paragraph in that post combines precisely two of those, only two, but never the same two. Each is unique.

    The eighth paragraph seems random, but really it's written in scrambled pairs: sex/orgasms; weapons/hunger; food/bacon, crushes/threesomes and cats/tattoos. It's a Scrabble player's wet dream. But instead of Scrabble, it's played out as a psychosexual game, Truth or Dare.

    I later realized that you may not actually have a cat tattoo. If so, that's fuck-up number two. Not that anybody is keeping count.

    So if I've not yet exposed myself as a completely hopeless geek, just wait. I'll sink that ship right now.

    The third paragraph is a paradox, a riddle, a joke and a double entendre, all interwoven by the details of your own life. (This is the point where Sunday raises her hand and says, "See, I told you it's a thinline between stalkerish and psychosexual lunatic.")

    OK, so here's where I get all science geeky on you. Don't worry, my translator Super-ego has threatened to smack the living shit out of my science Ego and sentence it to spend a week with my Id -- sort of like forcing Carl Sagan to spend a week with the Marqui de Sade -- if I don't keep this clear and simple.

    The paradox part of the riddle is Schrödinger's cat, a thought experiment in which a cat is treated as subject to the state of a subatomic particle and is assumed to be comprised of a superposition of states. What that means is that the cat starts out as neither dead or alive, but rather "dead/alive" at the same time. The only way to determine which is true is to conduct an outside measurement, and the measurement itself defines the state of the particle, e.g. an outside person conducting the measurement either kills the cat or keeps it alive. The measurement defines the outcome.

    The paradox is how a measurement of a state could possible define the state. It's as though looking at your fuel gauge in your car actually changes the fuel level. I know, it's insane -- don't feel badly; Einstein refused to accept it his whole life, and he was a pretty bright guy, but dead wrong on this subject.

    What turned out to define the outcome was a set of probabilities. There was no reality, only the probability of a reality. The rules of probability here were the same as observed in any common, random distribution in cards, the same thing that happens when you toss cards randomly into a hat. The riddle is how this could be so.

    The joke is that the big, beautiful black cat tries to swat away each card before you throw it, a natural act by the cat, because if the cat stops you from throwing the card, and determining how it lands, the cat in the experiment will always live, because no probability experiment has been conducted. No measurement has taken place. The cat always lives.

    The double-entendre loops back to the subjunctive mood in linguistics, the one where something is not real, but asks you to imagine it were. The first sentence in your post, properly formulated, would be "..if you were at Teeth's house what would you do," even though you are not. It asks you to imagine a reality that allows two co-existent states, your not being there, but imagining that you were -- a mirror image of a superposition of states.

    OK, so Sagan is banished to the prison cell of the Marqui de Sade. Sorry, that was the best I could do on 8 mg of Ativan, 600 mg of Wellbutrin and this fabulous bottle of 1995 Barolo.

    So here is the favor I ask of you. What you once recognized as the province of cute young girls and their effortless success with teenage boys has a flip side in which boys a few years younger who are way too young to enjoy the fruits of humor, power, money, intellect or intrigue, end up far more intimate with heartbreak, a sense they never really lose.

    When I finally posted pics in your picture-request thread in PP, at your own personal request, you never commented on them. I wasn't sure you even saw them, or if you did, whether you were just simply disappointed. I told myself, "of course, she swings young," but that's just what the 7th grader tells himself about the 9th grader who ignores him. That's water under the bridge. My request now would be this. Would you allow me to use in my sig line a special phrase I have cherished from the very first time I ever saw it. I really need a companion line to Hat's succinct, "Nothing can replace dick," and nothing would do better for me than your brilliant line, "I like to be pinned down, thrashed around and fucked 'till I squeak." It's practically my personal motto, more brilliantly captured in your words than anything I could ever possibly muster.

  5. #30
    Lola Rose
    Guest

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    this whole thread is sexy. At 8:51 am, that's all I got to say.

    I'mma go try to get me some.

    it's likely he's gonna push me away and try to sleep more. Gah!

    but I will persevere!

    (And I think I that should be spelled differently)

    [oh, and Too, if you ever get bored..... and ya know, you feel the need to write me naughty post, feel free..... ya know.... if you're bored.....)

  6. #31
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3,152
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    Yup. I'm spent.

    Oh and for the record, TOO, it was "psychosexual hottie," not "lunatic." Give credit where credit's due.

    (I feel proud because, while I didn't catch the play on S.cat and the Maine coon preventing the experiment from reaching its half-fatal conclusion, I DID catch the part about the use of subjunctive in the first post. But I'm a Latin nerd like that.)


  7. #32
    stellaforstars
    Guest

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    ^^Ummmm...did I just read that correctly?? You're a Latin nerd too?!?!

    Oh fuck. Be still my heart...

  8. #33
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3,152
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    Et tu, Stella?

    (Goes and digs out the trusty Wheelock's--who knew that 4 years of being out of college would lead to forgetting most of what I learned?!)


  9. #34
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    The Wild
    Posts
    1,409
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    ^ I happen to be irrationally fond of your indolent analysis muscles, particularly when they are squeaking. It's a particular fetish of mine. But more on that later.
    Hahahaha... more indeed...

    Your life pleasures and indulgences have five powerful gravitational centers: Food, cats, games, writing and sex.
    I'd say six, and you'd likely agree. You managed to illustrate adventure and intrigue without actually naming it.

    Every paragraph in that post combines precisely two of those, only two, but never the same two. Each is unique.

    The eighth paragraph seems random, but really it's written in scrambled pairs: sex/orgasms; weapons/hunger; food/bacon, crushes/threesomes and cats/tattoos. It's a Scrabble player's wet dream. But instead of Scrabble, it's played out as a psychosexual game, Truth or Dare.
    Wow, so it is. I would have figured that out if you had forced me to, really I would have. All the same, I appreciate you allowing my analysis muscles to continue their languor.


    So if I've not yet exposed myself as a completely hopeless geek, just wait. I'll sink that ship right now.
    Like the freakin' Titanic. The good news is, the cat's alive.

    So here is the favor I ask of you. What you once recognized as the province of cute young girls and their effortless success with teenage boys has a flip side in which boys a few years younger who are way too young to enjoy the fruits of humor, power, money, intellect or intrigue, end up far more intimate with heartbreak, a sense they never really lose.

    When I finally posted pics in your picture-request thread in PP, at your own personal request, you never commented on them. I wasn't sure you even saw them, or if you did, whether you were just simply disappointed. I told myself, "of course, she swings young," but that's just what the 7th grader tells himself about the 9th grader who ignores him. That's water under the bridge.
    What I didn't tell you, at the risk of seeming, um, obsessed, is that I stared at all your pictures for hours. I think you'd look better without a mustache, but I'm new-school like that. Plus, your reason for keeping it is just precious, so I can't hate on the 'stache too much.

    Anyway, as a token of thanks/affection/general merriment, I wanted to make an LOLcat in your honor, using Farley, a fake mustache from the $1 section of Target right around Halloween, some scotch tape, and the caption "im an Owner lol." But it's tough to scotch tape anything to a cat for more than 6 seconds. So these ad hoc images will have to suffice.

    My request now would be this. Would you allow me to use in my sig line a special phrase I have cherished from the very first time I ever saw it. I really need a companion line to Hat's succinct, "Nothing can replace dick," and nothing would do better for me than your brilliant line, "I like to be pinned down, thrashed around and fucked 'till I squeak." It's practically my personal motto, more brilliantly captured in your words than anything I could ever possibly muster.
    Hahaha, you don't even have to ask. I'd be honored.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

  10. #35
    Lola Rose
    Guest

    Default Re: Poll: Ease my boredom & stroke my ego plz

    adorable!

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 01-27-2011, 06:12 PM
  2. trying to ease my boyfriend's worries...
    By Jennaaaaaa666 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-09-2010, 09:21 AM
  3. sleep (plz read post before taking poll)
    By Pretty_Penny in forum Body Business
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 07-04-2008, 04:08 AM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-17-2005, 12:06 AM
  5. Frizz-Ease Hair Serum?
    By Rhiannon in forum Body Business
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 08-02-2004, 05:56 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •