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Thread: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    ...said an older woman to my friend and I as we sait waiting for a table at a restauraunt. The rude nosiness of the question aside (who knows - she could've genuinely asked out of concern), just what am I supposed to do here, unload all of my personal problems on her? Shout "I'm lonely" from 10 feet away?

    I brushed it off with a shrug and said we're just waiting for a table.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Ugh, it's such an invasive question. And I'm one of those neurotic, easily-influenced people---I could be feeling absolutely great, but someone asks me "What's wrong?" and I'll start to think that something IS wrong after all.

    I don't know a graceful way to get out of that situation. Confiding in strangers is not something I am comfortable with. I mean, she could have been a writer, or like you say genuinely concerned, or any other number of valid reasons for wanting to know. Doesn't mean I want to talk about it, kthxbai.


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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    She probably just wanted to introduce you to Jesus... You did the right, and diplomatic, thing.

    Unfourtunately, as I get older I've noticed my internal censor (as well as my sense of "shame") is dissinergrating at a rapid pace... "because I can't get this gerbil out of my ass" would most likely have been my response.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    She was probably hoping that you would say that you were lonely so she could introduce you to her daughter/granddaughter.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  5. #5
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    ^^And that's exactly what just ran through my mind.

  6. #6
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by SundayMorning View Post
    Ugh, it's such an invasive question. And I'm one of those neurotic, easily-influenced people---I could be feeling absolutely great, but someone asks me "What's wrong?" and I'll start to think that something IS wrong after all.
    Yep, me too. Heck, here I am posting about it!


    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M View Post
    She probably just wanted to introduce you to Jesus... You did the right, and diplomatic, thing.

    Unfourtunately, as I get older I've noticed my internal censor (as well as my sense of "shame") is dissinergrating at a rapid pace... "because I can't get this gerbil out of my ass" would most likely have been my response.
    That's a great answer! LOL


    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    She was probably hoping that you would say that you were lonely so she could introduce you to her daughter/granddaughter.
    Quote Originally Posted by stellaforstars View Post
    ^^And that's exactly what just ran through my mind.
    The thought crossed my mind as well (briefly), but unless she knew me at least a little, it seems very odd. She knows nothing about me, how does she know whether I'd be someone she should introduce to her [grand]daughter.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  7. #7
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Old women do it constantly. To me, at least. I don't think they're concerned about stalkers/rapists, because they think they have the world's best judgment.

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    God/dess Bob_Loblaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    ^^^ Or they grew up in a time when it wasn't as big a concern as it is now.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    The thought crossed my mind as well (briefly), but unless she knew me at least a little, it seems very odd. She knows nothing about me, how does she know whether I'd be someone she should introduce to her [grand]daughter.
    Well. Maybe her [grand]daughter is very lonely and not at all picky. Maybe you looked unusually handsome and successful. Maybe she reads stripclubjunkie is all "that dude has some serious cash to burn on strippers. He must enjoy some degree of worldly success."

    Plus statistically - people meet strangers all the time. It isn't that odd.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Lady Jade's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    One of the women at work asks everyone "what's wrong? are you ok?" all the time for no other reason than to pick up something to gossip about at work. I know other people that do it so they have an open invitation to discuss what's bothering *them*. All in all, concern and regard for others in and of itself is a great thing, but intrusive nosiness can be irritating! Me, I'd have just ignored it. Pretty easy since I'm hard of hearing nowadays.

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    wow,

    I thought she might have wanted to cheer you up. She was proubarly having a good day. She just wanted to spread cheer to your's! I usually say to people, why are you sad. When they look down, or Cheer up hun. Some people are nice by nature. Dont go to hawaii, they will try to cheer you up when sad. Some people are not negative and try to put postive moments in other lives. In the city nice people are frown on.
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    Member tenshigirl25's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    thats what i was thinking.....maybe she was just being nice. the fact u thought otherwise maybe proves u did infact look sad or have troubles going on.

    sometimes ppl really are just being concerned.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Well. Maybe her [grand]daughter is very lonely and not at all picky. Maybe you looked unusually handsome and successful. Maybe she reads stripclubjunkie is all "that dude has some serious cash to burn on strippers. He must enjoy some degree of worldly success."

    Plus statistically - people meet strangers all the time. It isn't that odd.
    Valid points, though I doubt "unusually handsome" and I don't know how she'd recognize me from SCJ when I've never posted a photo of me.


    Quote Originally Posted by tenshigirl25 View Post
    thats what i was thinking.....maybe she was just being nice. the fact u thought otherwise maybe proves u did infact look sad or have troubles going on.

    sometimes ppl really are just being concerned.
    Oh I definitely looked sad and have troubles going on, and she noticed. I was just curious when I posted if opening up about them is what one really does in that situation, because it seems inappropriate to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"
    "Because obnoxious people keep asking me how I'm feeling..."
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    You know what I hate? People who ask me to smile for them.

    I think the reason a lot of us younger people find these sort of questions from older folks so invasive is because we weren't raised in as social of a society as they were, and we have a lot of distractions today that make our lives more isolated. Back in their day there weren't any cell phones, internet or televisions blaring everywhere, so they got their fill of the world the only way they could. They talked to one another.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    "she wanted to introduce you to jesus"

    LOL!!

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    You know what I hate? People who ask me to smile for them.

    I think the reason a lot of us younger people find these sort of questions from older folks so invasive is because we weren't raised in as social of a society as they were, and we have a lot of distractions today that make our lives more isolated. Back in their day there weren't any cell phones, internet or televisions blaring everywhere, so they got their fill of the world the only way they could. They talked to one another.

    Yes, there are studies who agree with you! This society is becoming less social.
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
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    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    You know what I hate? People who ask me to smile for them.
    Aaaaah I want to give those people a freakin' knuckle sandwich! The worst is when strangers passing you in the street or standing in the checkout line or something tell you to "Smile, it's not that bad." Really? Explain to me exactly what you know about my life. For all you know, I could be on my way to the morgue to ID the bodies of 1000 children/puppies/kittens, having recently had my my house crushed by a tornado after having a kidney stolen and losing all my money in the stock market. I'm always half-tempted to lie and make up a story like the one above, but that's a bit sacrilegious, even for me. Seriously, these bitches need to stop patronizing.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
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  19. #19
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    You know what I hate? People who ask me to smile for them.

    I think the reason a lot of us younger people find these sort of questions from older folks so invasive is because we weren't raised in as social of a society as they were, and we have a lot of distractions today that make our lives more isolated. Back in their day there weren't any cell phones, internet or televisions blaring everywhere, so they got their fill of the world the only way they could. They talked to one another.
    Very good observation, and NICE emoticon!

    We don't need to talk to strangers anymore, now that we have eharmony and facebook and myspace and adultfriendfinder.

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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by leilanicandy View Post
    Dont go to hawaii, they will try to cheer you up when sad. Some people are not negative and try to put postive moments in other lives. In the city nice people are frown on.

    I'm from Hawaii, too and I consider myself a pretty positive person. However, I do think asking personal questions to strangers is inappropriate, even in friendly cities like Honolulu.

    When I make eye contact with people my natural reaction is to smile. Even when the person looks like thier dog just got run over, 9 times out of 10 they smile back. Maybe they're just being polite, but I think that it does make a positive impact without being invasive.

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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Maybe she was ovulating.

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    God/dess Bob_Loblaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    You know what I hate? People who ask me to smile for them.
    I can totally relate as I work with one of these people. I'm not a morning person to begin with and having her say that to me every fricken' morning in her sing-songy voice just... argh!!!!!
    Then I imagine hurling a stapler at her and I'm able to muster a smile.
    Last edited by Bob_Loblaw; 01-13-2008 at 10:08 PM.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You two look sad. Why are you sad?"

    Quote Originally Posted by leilanicandy View Post
    wow,

    I thought she might have wanted to cheer you up. She was proubarly having a good day. She just wanted to spread cheer to your's! I usually say to people, why are you sad. When they look down, or Cheer up hun. Some people are nice by nature. Dont go to hawaii, they will try to cheer you up when sad. Some people are not negative and try to put postive moments in other lives. In the city nice people are frown on.
    I don't doubt that you are a nice person, but a lot of people just want to be left alone. It doesn't mean we are negative, just that we don't feel like our mood is anyone else's business, much less a stranger's.

    It is evident that a lot people are really bad at reading that in others.

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