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Thread: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...d.php?t=101886

    About my TA stalking me through e-mail last semester. Well, he started calling like crazy at all hours of the night and sending texts as well after last semester ended. I ignored every single one. The last e-mail he sent me was Jan 7th. Well, I showed up at school on monday and he's the TA for my social deviance class this semester. Not only that but his desk was right across from mine (he walked in after class had already begun) and kept clearing his throat so I'd look at him, which I avoided all through the class. He i sin charge of grading our work and approving our independent assignments.

    I don't know if I should say anything to the professor or not. I don't really want to get him into trouble since he's probably doing this to get his graduate degree and I don't really want to get him fired or set him back, I feel that is too extream. I really don't know what to do. Any advice?
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    He's the one who'd be getting himself fired, not you. He's the one doing the stalking and using his position to harass. What about when/if he becomes a FT teacher? You SHOULD say something.

  3. #3
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Say something and get a restraining order!

  4. #4
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Seriously. Not wanting to hurt him is far less important than potentially screwing up your chance to do well in this class, not to mention the obvious safety issues.

    I think you need to report this.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Maybe you could swtich to a different class that he's not TAing in? If that's not an option, you need to say something! Or else your semester is going to be hell and he will spend the whole time trying to guilt trip you and give you bad grades. You don't need him grading your papers.

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Women suffer needlessly every day because they insist on being "nice." I don't know why. He abused his position; he'd be getting himself fired, not you. Explain the problem to the professor or you'll just be further victimized.

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Fawn, I remember this. I am a professor, and I surely would want to know if someone in a class of mine was going through this. Even in clearing his throat to distract you this guy is screwing up your education, and he has no right to do that. And when he sees you are not interested, he will switch his attention to someone else, and it will become a pattern until he is stopped. Your first step is to talk to the professor directly...then it is up to him and the school to do something about it and they should follow through. It should be done properly so you are not bothered again by this guy at all.

    I know you've got a good heart and you're worried about the guy, but he put himself (and you) into the situation, and he is way over the line. I've reprimanded male students for talking a certain way to female students, when I saw it made them uncomfortable; I had a guy on the second day of class come up and rub the shoulders of another student and I could tell she was uncomfortable with it, and I took him outside and told him if he ever touched her again--regardless of their relationship--in my classroom I would boot him out of the class. You can feel when these things cross into the wrong territory, and from your history as I remember it that happened long ago. As a professor, I want all of my students to have a strong experience...that is my job. When you have an idiot like this stepping over the line that cannot happen. Your professor should be grateful to you for bringing this up. If he is not, there are other steps to take.

    Fawn, this has gone on too long. It is absolutely wrong for you to keeping putting up with it. Good luck with it, and let us know how it goes.
    JK Jim

  8. #8
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    ^^Jhuka makes a good point that I was just about to come in and try to make as well.

    If he's doing this to you, it's safe to assume he's either already doing it to other girls, has done it to other girls in the past, or will do it to other girls after he loses interest in you. This cycle will continue until someone is finally willing to step up and stop being "nice." I truly hope that person will be you, because you don't deserve this sort of treatment.

    Please keep us updated, okay?

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    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Yeah, I've got to agree. Think about what is in your control and what's not in your control. Right now, he has unfair control over YOUR education. Reporting what he has done and is continuing to do to you may not mean that he gets "fired." What your professor chooses to do with that information and what the TA chooses to do when confronted about it is NOT in your control. But hopefully it will be sufficient that you do regain control over your education. You shouldn't have to compromise yourself like this, lady! It's too important!


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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Please say something. Please. This guy is not just a pain in the ass. He is potentially dangerous. I think you need to explain the situation to an advisor in your department, someone who isn't dealing directly with this TA. Please at least do that -- I know it seems embarassing, but fuck that stalker shit. Do you have texts and emails saved? Bring those and show them.

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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    ^^^ I have e-mails saved. No texts, but I've got some phone records somewhere if I didn't already through then out. I can't remember if it shows incomming calls or outgoing calls, but he was calling me, I've never answered nor have I called him.

    I had that class again today, and I didn't look at him once. Infact, I focused on the teacher the entire class period even when he wasn't saying anything but just walking around. At leats iut got my day dreaming ass to pay attention, but I also sort of felt shakey which i sno good. I think Susan is right, and i should try an advisor first. Our professor is so close in age to the TA and it sort of seems like they may actually have a friendship of sorts. I could be wrong, the professor could just be being nice. Either way I'm reeally tired of having to deal with this guy.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Yeah, I mean, the professor picks the TA, so they have some sort of existing relationship, which is why I suggest someone else in the department. Also, you may want to find out what kind of official channels exist at UT for this sort of thins (reporting harassment from a superior/instructor) so you cover all of your bases. Good luck with everything.

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    I can certainly understand your worry, Fawn, about the professor and TA perhaps being close, and Susan's idea of the advisor is a great one and would just as easily get the ball rolling. At the university where I teach, you could go to the advisor or even directly to the department head or (higher) to the dean of students. All of these people have a vested interest in seeing this behavior stop--it can turn into a real nightmare for them if they don't take charge. And every school has an established way to solve a problem like this. I think the advisor is a great way to go, especially if you know and trust that person: I would make clear, in talking to her/him, that the situation needs to stop--that it is not just a slight problem that might be fixed around the edges. Just be firm about it: "I've had it with this, and I need to get it solved."

    Good luck with this. Because this is my profession, I hate to see a student going through this. If you can, please let us know how it turns out.
    Last edited by jhuka; 01-16-2008 at 09:32 PM.
    JK Jim

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Oh screw THAT! This guy sounds like a psycho!

    I would totally report him. Save the emails, and tell the professor. He might actually HINDER you from doing your best if he is the one in charge of grading, etc.

    Please tell someone. You dont want to ruin his chance at becominga teacher, but apparently he doesnt care about harassing you.

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Document each instance of abuse in a journal of some kind. Date it and sign it. If there are witnesses, ask them to read it and sign it as well.

    Start with the professor, and assume that he and the TA have a strictly professional and ethical relationship. Take a witness with you for this meeting. Document the meeting, date it and sign it. Have your witness sign it.

    If you get no satisfaction from the professor, then go to the department head, then the dean, etc. Remind them that if they do not take action to protect you that if you have to press charges or sue, each person who did nothing can be named in the lawsuit. There is an impressive amount of case law now where school officials and schools were held accountable for failing to stop sexual harassment when it was reported.

    Your university may have an ombudsman program where you can go. An ombundsman will represent you to these officials or go with you when you speak to them yourselves.

    Good luck. And please let us know what happens.

  16. #16
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    I'm so glad to hear you're planning on doing something about this. Seriously. You're a strong woman and I know this sucks, but you'll make it through this and come out on top--I'm sure of that.

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Ignoring the guy is only going to piss him more. You should have told him when he started calling you that you've met someone and if it doesn't work out then you'll get back to him. That way he still think she has a chance and doesn't feel completely rejected.

    Far as the academic portion of you problem, I'm a TA and the relationship between the professor and TA is a lot closer than a professor and student relationship. Believe it or not, but good TAs are hard to find and professors aren't exactly looking to get rid of theirs; specially if he has been working him for a while. Reporting this situation is most likely going to create friction between you and the professor. If you do report; goto someone other than the professor. My advice would be to report the situation, then drop that class, and take it under a different professor/TA, but make sure you don't end up with them for a different class because you're going to be "remembered."

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    Default Re: Some of you may remember this thread about creepy TA cyber stalking me

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    He's the one who'd be getting himself fired, not you. He's the one doing the stalking and using his position to harass. What about when/if he becomes a FT teacher? You SHOULD say something.
    Great point creepy behaviour like that often escalates, and imagine how he might treat his students when he is in a position of even greater authority.. Tell someone asap. If he is in charge of grading your work he could fuck with you ig time and it might not be taken seriously if you complain, it might sound like sour grapes for a bad grade!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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