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Thread: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

  1. #1
    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
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    Default My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Sorry for the foul language.... but FUCK!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCKEDY FUCK YOU, YOU (oops, yelling) stupid idiot bitch! I hate you! I fully regret having agreed to us being roommates! You are a blind, ignorant, vile snob!

    You chew your food with your mouth open and it makes the most horrendous noise! The sound you make when you eat makes me want to vomit all over your ugly face!

    You don't lift your feet off the floor when you walk and the sound drives me nuts! But don't worry stupid, I got me a pair of the same slippers so YOU can experience the full joy of PFST PFST PFST PFST ALL MORNING LONG WHILE YOU ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!! And in case I leave the room, I will do just as you do and won't close the door so you can hear these wonderous sounds when I'm in the kitchen!

    You have had the same retarded, annoying-ass 30 second loop of a shitASS song as your alarm sound, which you let play OVER AND OVER while you stretch and rub your stupid slut eyes! Get a new fucking alarm for fuck's sakes - we live in the year 2008 - there is NO shortage of sounds in the world.

    You stupid, ignorant shitfaced bitch. Can't you see that I hide my dishes from you because you never wash them after you use them?
    Don't you see that you're a pig?!
    For fuck's sakes, take out the garbage once in a while! I shouldn't have to ask you (which I only do once a month because I cringe at the thought of having to hear your shit-ass pathetic lame excuses for why you can't take it out yourself.)

    Well, loser, I got news for you. I'm moving out! YEAH! and I'm taking the internet with me!


    **********Ok, I feel better now************
    Last edited by Meea; 01-17-2008 at 01:25 PM.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    LMAO! I am glad that you were able to vent and come to a good decision. I am moving in with someone due to finances and not looking forward to it. Good luck! And now just try to calm down.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    This should be on Craigslist. Hahahahah!

  4. #4
    God/dess
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    LOL! Cuntrag. One of my favorite words.



  5. #5
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Mine is cum-dumpster.

  6. #6
    God/dess
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    ^Hahaha! Seriously love that one, too! I also like fuckstick and dickbag. Use them quite a lot.



  7. #7
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Having had over 25 roommates in the past 10 years.... i totally feel you.

    At least she doesn't steal your food, and then vomit it all over your toilet, splashing it upon your shower curtain.

    At least she didn't let the toilet overflow, and then walk away saying "oh my gosh! I didn't notice!" Then it damages a tin full of sentimental letters and notes from family and friends that you've collected the last 4 years. Oh... not to mention it seeps through the walls and carpet in four rooms because she lets it fester for two days while you are out of town. All of our shoes molded from the toilet water that seeped into our closets through the walls!

    At least she doesn't cook your food for her friends when they come over.

    At least she doesn't move the brand new love seat you just bought into her room and then lock you out so that she can enjoy it more.

    At least she doesn't dump out your fish tank because it's in her way.

    At least she doesn't cook ground beef on a hot plate in her room every day and never open her window or door. Then you don't have to worry about spraying Febreeze on the carpet at the crack of the door, hoping it mitigates the stale beef smell creeping toward the rest of the house.

    At least she doesn't talk to her plants.

    At least she doesn't meditate and cast spells from the porch.

    At least she doesn't store leftovers on plates covered in plastic wrap in the towel drawer in the kitchen.

    At least she doesn't pour beer in your fishtank, causing the mantis shrimp to mysteriously float to the top.

    I have more if you want it....

    All I can say is... it's refreshing to live alone or with just you and a SO after roommates. It will make you appreciate your own space. If you need advice on how to retaliate, I am an expert. I once poisoned a roommate with 10 doses of ex-lax and a generous dose of ipecac syrup.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
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    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
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    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  8. #8
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    That was some pretty funny sh*t!! They say that living with a friend ruins the friendship. I guess it's true!

  9. #9
    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    At least she doesn't store leftovers on plates covered in plastic wrap in the towel drawer in the kitchen.
    Actually... she does.... only she doesn't cover anything in plastic....

    Ew

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    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    I once poisoned a roommate with 10 doses of ex-lax and a generous dose of ipecac syrup.
    Your kung fu is good

    There is also some other clear odorless diarrhea-inducing stuff that is amazingly worse than ex-lax. Doctors use it on patients prior to surgery on the small intestines or rectum to clear everything out, and I mean everything. I speak from my own personal experience on that one, our friends play kinda rough around here. That was not fun.

    -E
    hilarious signature

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by Mily View Post
    ^Hahaha! Seriously love that one, too! I also like fuckstick and dickbag. Use them quite a lot.

    I also love hearing someone say, "hey dipshit". LOL.

    Alright, i'm thread jacking... sorry.

  12. #12
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    Having had over 25 roommates in the past 10 years.... i totally feel you.

    At least she doesn't steal your food, and then vomit it all over your toilet, splashing it upon your shower curtain.

    At least she didn't let the toilet overflow, and then walk away saying "oh my gosh! I didn't notice!" Then it damages a tin full of sentimental letters and notes from family and friends that you've collected the last 4 years. Oh... not to mention it seeps through the walls and carpet in four rooms because she lets it fester for two days while you are out of town. All of our shoes molded from the toilet water that seeped into our closets through the walls!

    At least she doesn't cook your food for her friends when they come over.

    At least she doesn't move the brand new love seat you just bought into her room and then lock you out so that she can enjoy it more.

    At least she doesn't dump out your fish tank because it's in her way.

    At least she doesn't cook ground beef on a hot plate in her room every day and never open her window or door. Then you don't have to worry about spraying Febreeze on the carpet at the crack of the door, hoping it mitigates the stale beef smell creeping toward the rest of the house.

    At least she doesn't talk to her plants.

    At least she doesn't meditate and cast spells from the porch.

    At least she doesn't store leftovers on plates covered in plastic wrap in the towel drawer in the kitchen.

    At least she doesn't pour beer in your fishtank, causing the mantis shrimp to mysteriously float to the top.

    I have more if you want it....

    All I can say is... it's refreshing to live alone or with just you and a SO after roommates. It will make you appreciate your own space. If you need advice on how to retaliate, I am an expert. I once poisoned a roommate with 10 doses of ex-lax and a generous dose of ipecac syrup.


    Damn.

  13. #13
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    I hear stories like these, and I feel so lucky it almost makes me want to praise Jesus. I love one of my roommates, and like the other one okay (if I thought he was a more interesting or cool or sexy person I'd like him more as a roommate... my problem with him is mostly that he cooks with garlic powder [not real garlic... I think garlic powder is an affront to the majesty that is real garlic, and I pass judgment accordingly] and he wears cheap cologne). My girl roommate, though, is like one of my favorite people in the world, and I love her even when she's being drunk and overly academic and pessimistic about life (because that's the worst of it, and it's totally excusable). Seriously, I love that girl. I have this weird ominous feeling that all other living situations to come will pale in comparison to living with her.

    Anyway, sorry that your roommate sucks, Meea. Paintgoddess, yours sound like scary mutant bacteriamongers. Ew @ hot plate beef.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Oh god, this stuff is awful and brilliant. I can't believe these people are still alive (they may not be, with all the poisoning going on!). Though to add to the list, I've had roommates who:

    -talk back loudly to reality tv. Hours of 'oh, no he didn't'.
    -Played that one damn Norah Jones song on repeat all Saturday morning.
    -her cross dressing bf stole my clothes
    -masturbated in the front room, when she thought I was asleep
    -saved naked pics of her bf to my computer
    -freaks out if the shower curtain, stall doors and bathroom door are not how she wants it.
    -moved her ex in and they spent all their time in some sort of cold war, when the ex found a new gf.
    -had sex with the door open, in the early hours, loudly.
    -fills the downstairs with the smell of pot and doesn't share. Or open a damn window.

    Though I think paintgoddess wins!

  15. #15
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Wow, that was quite a release. Maybe you could talk to her and get her straighten up her act a bit after you calm down.

  16. #16
    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Yeyyyy I love posts like these!!!!! Hilarious

  17. #17
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    I would have loved to have started a 'roommate rant' thread when I was living with three COUNT 'EM THREE! other girls.

    This is funny! I'm sorry to trivialize the anger and frustration of the OP, but I'm glad you can get this off your chest!

  18. #18
    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    deleted
    Last edited by cutey5032; 10-11-2008 at 03:43 PM.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    ^I don't even like people coming to my apartment anymore, I've gotten ridiculously anti-social over the last year or so. I don't know what is so freaking special about my bf, I'm totally cool living with him, even though he can be gross and annoying, and I am his maid most of the time. I'm glad I'm over the roommate phase in my life.

  20. #20
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyCurlieQ View Post
    I'm glad I'm over the roommate phase in my life.
    Me too!! I hope everything works out for you, Meea. May she be the last roomie you ever have to deal with!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  21. #21
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by X Evan X View Post
    There is also some other clear odorless diarrhea-inducing stuff that is amazingly worse than ex-lax.
    The active ingrediant of ex-lax is (or was) a chemical called phenolphthalein - check out the list of ingrediants.

    It's also widely used in chemical laboratories as an indicator (changes colour depending on whether the liquid its in is acidic or basic).

    I once heard of a lab assistant setting a grudge by means of it. As he said: "X may think the bottom's fallen out of his world, but in reality the world is going to fall out of his bottom".

    Phil.

  22. #22
    Senior Member pixiekittie's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    "mutant bacteriamongers"

    LOL!

    Geez, I would go nuts if I had to live with those type of roommates. And I thought I had it bad. Yikes!

  23. #23
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Good luck being on your own! I've done the roommate thing before. Although they weren't that bad, it still sucked.

  24. #24
    Veteran Member Toki's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by Mily View Post
    ^Hahaha! Seriously love that one, too! I also like fuckstick and dickbag. Use them quite a lot.

    "Fuckstick"... I love that one!

    Aren't roommates just SOOOOOOOOOOOO fun?

  25. #25
    Veteran Member Toki's Avatar
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    Default Re: My roommate is a dirty cuntrag

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    The active ingrediant of ex-lax is (or was) a chemical called phenolphthalein - check out the list of ingrediants.

    It's also widely used in chemical laboratories as an indicator (changes colour depending on whether the liquid its in is acidic or basic).

    I once heard of a lab assistant setting a grudge by means of it. As he said: "X may think the bottom's fallen out of his world, but in reality the world is going to fall out of his bottom".

    Phil.

    I remember learning about that in like 7th grade science class. We were doing something with an indicator, and the teacher mentioned that you don't ever want to accidentally swallow any of that. Is that the stuff in Visine that fucks people up?

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