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Thread: I need your advice - pet owners

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    Default I need your advice - pet owners

    Yesterday, the unthinkable happened, one of my younger sisters puppies was put down due to toxic shock - we still don't know why she died, the vet is shocked, we threw as much as we could at keeping the puppy alive, but in the end she went over the rainbow bridge. She went in for a simple de-sex and passed away less then 48 hours later

    My younger sisters (twins) love the dog, they are gutted, very upset and as this is the first time they have dealt with a death of a pet before until now (they have had more then their fair share of sickness of pets, but no deaths)

    I just don't know what to do for them regarding the passed puppy, my mum and I are considering a cremation and putting her remains in a wooden mahogany box with her photograph on the top as a keep sake and my sisters can take puppy where ever they go

    Alternatively we can have the pup buried at a 700 acre farm

    The down side of the farm is that it is an unmarked grave and we will not know where she is buried, but we will have the address and we can go to their rose garden to reflect

    There are down sides of both

    Cremation might 'freak' out my little sister and she will get a lot more upset but it could also help with the healing process knowing that pup is with her all the time

    Burying is worrying as I am afraid that the dog might get dumped or used for experimental purposes or will end up at a uni for practice doctors, nurses or vets, plus we do not like the idea of the puppy having an unmarked grave

    Can you offer any ideas or suggestions? I dislike seeing my younger sisters upset and I really want to help them with the greivence but it is hard to get straight answers as they get upset, cry and shut down every time we ask...

    RIP CASPIE - WE LOVE YOU BABY, REMEMBER ONLY THE BEST GO YOUNG I HOPE YOUR RUNNING IN A FIELD OF SNOW WITH YOUR ANCESTORS - YOU WILL FOREVER BE MISSED AND IT WAS THE HARDEST DECISION WE HAVE EVER HAD TO MAKE


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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    This is our baby - she is dearly missed


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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Hey ALEee can I ask what age your sisters are? I think it is important to have SOME kind of a ritual and a keepsake for them to grieve, maybe even a memory box/book with photos and other mementos of their pup. I could give other suggestions that would be age appropriate as well I have studied grief counseling. The death of a pet can be as serious as any other type of grief.
    As for cremation versus burial, could you offer them the choice? Or are they too young. Being involved in creating a ritual is very healing for kids as well as adults.
    Sorry for your loss.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    my sisters are both 16

    As mentioned we have offered them the choice but the get very upset, cry and shut down..

    We have tomorrow to decide

    I am thinking something like http://www.petsinheaven.com.au/urns.html - the second from the bottom the one with the medallions, a photo and a place to put her collar and lead

    But ultimately that is what I would choose, but I don't want to influence them on what to do as it is the puppy and is up to them...


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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Sorry I didnt get that bit in your post I guess at 16 they are fairly grown up and totally understand what is going on. if they are too distraught to make a decision the maybe go with what is comfortable for you, but try and involve them in the process, choosing the urn or whatever if you know what I mean...Maybe not being harsh in any way but just tell them that the decision needs to be made by x time, and if they have a preference to let you know otherwise this is the plan...then if they find it distressing they have a chance to speak up. goodluck again
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Personally I would go for the burial and give your sisters a nice framed photo of the puppy (she was beautiful, BTW). Keeping cremains... I dunno, but that's always creeped me out. You could scatter the ashes too, if you wanted.

    We always buried our pets in the back yard when I was a kid. Do they live in an apartment or something where they can't do that?

    And why is it bad if they do experiment on the body? The puppy is dead already; it won't hurt her. If some veterinarian (or even human doctor) can learn something useful to save a life, isn't that a good thing?

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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    i agree that experiment is a good thing, but as the dog was a top show dog and belongs to my little sisters who haven't had this situation before, bringing up the idea would distress them too much - this isn't any ordinary pet, she was the baby of the kennels and always has been a huge part of the family

    Burial at home isn't suitable as they live in a rented house/kennels plus the ground is very rocky


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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Personally I would go for the burial and give your sisters a nice framed photo of the puppy (she was beautiful, BTW). Keeping cremains... I dunno, but that's always creeped me out. You could scatter the ashes too, if you wanted.

    Is there a nice peaceful place they could scatter the ashes? Or a place the pup really loved?

    I'm so sorry about your loss.

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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    wow, so sorry about the loss.
    I haven't lost my kids yet (going on seven years with both). I have thought about what to do when they leave me and I think I DO want to cremate, I want to keep them near me and mix their ashes together since they love each other so much. But your sisters are so young that I think that burying the critter might be best, just to help them move on and let go. I would bury the puppy someone where you think he would have been happy to be around. Unmarked graves dont' neccessarily matter if YOU know who's there.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Aww, I'm sorry...Losing a pet is very hard to deal with.

    I had a chihuahua puppy die sleeping on my pillow in the middle of the night, the vet said she was too small to survive. She suffered from "failure to thrive".

    I had her cremated, and I'm glad that I did. Her box is exactly like the one you described. It's nice to have a little piece/memory of her.

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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    In our town, it is against the law to bury an animal in your yard. I've broken this law quite five times for cats that were part of the family. I just dig a really deep hole. One of my friends buried her dog in her back yard, then had a patio poured over it.

    However, there is a pet cemetery here as well, where you can bury your pet and put a marker on the grave.

    We've kept their collars to remember them by. Maybe this would work for your sisters, too.

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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Im so sorry about your loss.

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    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    I'm so sorry I have no advice but just sending hugs honey.

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    Default Re: I need your advice - pet owners

    Thanks for the thoughts!

    Yesterday Caspie was taken by hearse to a crematorium by a lovely gentleman at Pets in Heaven - he was fantastic and certainly put all our minds at ease

    Casper will be returned with in 7 - 10 days, we chose a nice urn for her http://www.petsinheaven.com.au/cabinet1.jpg and are still choosing a photograph and memoirs to put in her display

    Caspie will put put in the kennels to be a doggy angel and to look after our other dogs!

    It was a hard day for my little sisters yesterday but they are coping the best they can - you just can not say anything about the incident near them...


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