Pretty_Penny i introduce myself and feel it out before sitting. if they are uninterested, you'll be able to tell. usually anyone who immediately starts telling you how they "popped in for a drink" or "are just hanging out/chilling" is a waste of your time. i stay standing for the first 30 seconds to a minute of the convo, if things are going well, 9 Xs out of 10 he'll ask you to sit by then. If they seem to be going well, but he hasn't asked me to sit, THEN i will ask if he "minds if i join" him.
i greatly dislike sitting right away, because it looks akward and it makes the other customers think you were rejected when you get up a minute later. if you stay standing, it looks like you were just chatting/saying hi. it keeps the "flow" going much better.
if the guy seems uninterested or like a time waster, i say how i'm going to "let him get settled in" or "i'm going to go mingle a bit". that way, if he's just sending the wrong signals, it gives him a chance to ask for me to come back or to ask me to stay. if he really is uninterested, all he has to say is "ok". heh
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