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Thread: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

  1. #1
    MsQwerty
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    Arrow The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Lmao, I just found this on a fiends livejournal.

    The text version. Sourced from Cracked.com

    #15. Crack Whores of The Tenderloin
    #14. ATM Machines
    #13. Girth, Wind and Fire
    #12. Anal Chiropractor
    #11. Blowing Up Asses
    #10. Don't Tell Mommy
    #9. Faces with Braces
    #8. Edward Penishands
    #7. Interview With an Enema
    #6. Mouthful of Ass
    #5. Dude, Where's My woman's undercarriage?
    #4 Big Omar's British Adventure - London woman's undercarriage Hunt
    #3. 30 Days in the Hole
    #2. There's A Black Man In My Wife's Ass
    #1. Dirt Pipe Milkshakes
    If you want to read the commentary and see the SFW disc covers...

  2. #2
    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    I am a fan of Jessica Drake but there is one movie called "Fluff and Fold" starring her and I refuse to buy it because the name turns me off so bad for some reason. I would love to see Edward Penishands though and Interview with an Enema just cracks me up.

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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Most porn titles are a turnoff...

  4. #4
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    I've seen Edward Penishands. It's all dramatic. He becomes a porn star then gets hooked up drugs and can't get his penis hands up.

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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    I've seen Edward Penishands. It's all dramatic. He becomes a porn star then gets hooked up drugs and can't get his penis hands up.



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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Oh my gods, "Crack Whores of the Tenderloin" is hysterical. It sounds like a documentary, or an episode of Wild Kingdom.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  7. #7
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Planet of the Gapes

    I cannot understand for the life of me what is so fascinating about the subject of the title. Even on those occasions when I have been asked to satisfy a woman this way, the last thing I would ever want to do is then look up there, lol!

    This falls under the category of 'some men are apparently a different species entirely'.

    I saw the cover somewhere, but didn't watch it--yuck--but sometimes when you watch a video with anal the fucking idiot with the camera will be sticking it right up there anyway.

    Thank god for the fast forward button...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  8. #8
    Senior Member Tara_SW's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    oh my, that's some funny stuff!

    all porn and porn titles are unappealing to me though. Too graphic & no tease factor equal's no fun for me.

  9. #9
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tara_SW View Post
    oh my, that's some funny stuff!

    all porn and porn titles are unappealing to me though. Too graphic & no tease factor equal's no fun for me.
    100% agree. I'd get turned on faster to the weather channel then to porn

  10. #10
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    I'm not necessarily turned off by the porn, sometimes it's hot if you are in the right mood, or with the right woman who is getting into it as well. Though the tease has always been much more effective, and the hardcore with the tease first is the best hardcore, IMO.

    What turns me off faster than anything, though, is the dialogue some of these 'man behind the camera' style videos that are so popular now will throw at you. The vast majority of it, actually--total turnoff.

    Even if they avoid the usual blatant misogynist blathering, they either sound really, really stupid (I mean literally stupid) and cheesy, or like complete geeks. Like, don't they listen to themselves when they are editing these things? How can they stand to hear themselves in that case--I'd be dubbing in the lame music instead, right away.

    OK, this is threadjacking, sort of. On with the titles...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  11. #11
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    that was some funny stuff!!

  12. #12
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    one of my favourite titles was always, "cumguzzling fucksluts"

  13. #13
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    The favorite title of a porn I was in is "STOP! My Ass Is On Fire! 9" hehehe

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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Planet of the Gapes
    aw yuck. Some of those titles are pretty funny. But that's yucky.
    Quote Originally Posted by Helle View Post
    ::WARNING:: stripperweb does not contain the views of any actual strippers ::WARNING::

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    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    i saw cumguzzling fucksluts! It sounded juicy lol another interesting title was biohazard bitches i thought they would be walking around in like biohazard suits, but they were just licking toilets and plungers and shit (literally) thus turning themselves into a biohazard.....strange.

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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    I'm not necessarily turned off by the porn, sometimes it's hot if you are in the right mood, or with the right woman who is getting into it as well. Though the tease has always been much more effective, and the hardcore with the tease first is the best hardcore, IMO.

    What turns me off faster than anything, though, is the dialogue some of these 'man behind the camera' style videos that are so popular now will throw at you. The vast majority of it, actually--total turnoff.

    Even if they avoid the usual blatant misogynist blathering, they either sound really, really stupid (I mean literally stupid) and cheesy, or like complete geeks. Like, don't they listen to themselves when they are editing these things? How can they stand to hear themselves in that case--I'd be dubbing in the lame music instead, right away.

    OK, this is threadjacking, sort of. On with the titles...
    Yup those dudes make me sick to my stomach!! I have been known to pull plugs out to kill their smarmy misogynist crapolla from hurting my ears.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    deleted
    Last edited by cutey5032; 10-11-2008 at 03:55 PM.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    The favorite title of a porn I was in is "STOP! My Ass Is On Fire! 9" hehehe
    Damn! That's 3 squared...Who's up for #10?

    Although "All Hands On Dick" has always amused me, some more recent releases like "Suck Start My Heart", "Overflowing Assholes #3" and "Suck'em, Fuck'em, Squeeze'em, Tease'em...Again" are keepers, too...




    ^^P.S. "Happy, Scrappy Hero Pup"

    EDIT: Holy cow, Audrey! I just realized that you are/were also Miss "J.K."!
    Last edited by Budai; 01-23-2008 at 09:51 AM.

  19. #19
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba View Post
    aw yuck. Some of those titles are pretty funny. But that's yucky.
    Yep, it's the most sexually unappealing porn title I recall seeing advertised, for sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    The favorite title of a porn I was in is "STOP! My Ass Is On Fire! 9" hehehe
    That's funny!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flick6 View Post
    Yup those dudes make me sick to my stomach!! I have been known to pull plugs out to kill their smarmy misogynist crapolla from hurting my ears.
    The 'mute' button is your friend, lol! But sometimes it's too late, and the grotesque idiocy spewing forth from the speakers will have killed the mood, seriously. Look at some Byzantine sculpture for a while, and come back later--to a different video, of course.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  20. #20
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    LMAO!! I wonder how they come up with all these funny names!

  21. #21
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Budai View Post

    EDIT: Holy cow, Audrey! I just realized that you are/were also Miss "J.K."!
    Oh yea baby! That was my first name. When I started doing bondage I used AL as my name and then mysteriously the 2 intermingled.. hehe

  22. #22
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Scrotum Scarmblers


    LMAO

  23. #23
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Yeah, most of the time we dont know what they are going to name it until after it comes out and I've looked at my own movies and said "I'm in WHAT???" LOL!

  24. #24
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Look at some Byzantine sculpture for a while, and come back later--to a different video, of course.
    The sculpture itself might do it for some of us!

    My contribution: Bang the Bum Slowly.

    Thankfully it was one of a few shorts on the disc. Though all were of the horrible 'I'm here to fix the cable' variety-far more of a get high and laugh night than a sexin' night.

  25. #25
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: The most sexually unappealing porn titles.

    I never. Ever. EVER. Laugh out loud while reading stuff on SW.

    Until now!

    Brilliant thread!

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