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Thread: Is her love genuine?

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    Default Is her love genuine?

    I'm dating a exotic dancer I met in Dec.06. I did a few OTC club dates with her and we had a great time. I work overseas in Iraq and when I went back to work we use to talk on the phone atleast once a week. Well in Feb.07 I lost touch with her(Her cell phone was stolen and I lost her home number) so It wasn't till June I finally ran into her again. Well she totally showed genuine interest in me and we went back to dating OTC with pay atfirst then without pay the last 2months although I do help her out as she is a single mother.
    Well I seen her almost 3x a week untill I went back to work. We talk everyday since I have been here and she told me she loved me about 2 months ago(I was in love with her also when I first saw her but never said anything). We are making plans for when I return in March and she seems really interested. Like I said I do help her out in anyway I can financially and I love to spoil her with gifts from Iraq via online shopping lol
    She does mean the world to me but I don't want to fall into the sugar daddy hell.
    Ladies can you please give me some input on what you think?
    Thanks in advance.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Well, she went out with you a few times for free, right? She might really be into you because you guys talk every day, but only time will tell if you fall into sugar daddy hell.

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    Veteran Member Toki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    Well, she went out with you a few times for free, right? She might really be into you because you guys talk every day, but only time will tell if you fall into sugar daddy hell.
    That's true, only time will tell. It sounds like she might be interested, but you should probably make sure you're not spending too much money on her, to make sure she's not just taking you for a ride. That doesn't mean you shouldn't spoil her, but it's probably not a good sign if you're paying her rent and utilities on a regular basis.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    hmm. you are "helping her out" a lot and "spoiling her with gifts". i agree with the "only time will tell" comments, but i'd be suspicious.

    does she ask you for money a lot? like, does she hint about needing it a lot?

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    You're a sugar daddy and she doesn't really love you. Sorry. My sincerist apologies given that you are over in Iraq fighting for our "freedom".

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    "Love" means different things to different people. She definitely wants to keep you around. Maybe she likes your company. Maybe she likes the stuff you give her. Maybe she's totally shallow and those are the same thing in her mind.

    If you're having to ask yourself this, you're already in sugar daddy hell. In fact, I'm going to say that if you have to wonder if her love is genuine, it probably isn't.

    For what it's worth, "helping someone out" is not very different from paying someone to hang out with you. It's not uncommong for dancers I know to have customers paying their bills for them, and somehow convincing themselves they not really customers because they aren't putting the money into her garter in $20 increments.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Thanks for the input Ladies. I think I like the first three posts better lol But she insists we talk everyday and email eachother everyday. I want to be part of her life and I can't just stand by why she struggles with some financial needs, that is not my nature, especially someone I care for deeply. She never asked me for money, I allways offer. I think she asked one time in the 5 months I been here but that was for a emergency medical concern. I send her money monthly when I get paid. I really love this woman.

    Thanks again ladies.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Okay My Friend;
    It is likely, if you've made finance a part of your relationship that she expects it to continue (as, evidently, do you). Does she "really like you" outside of that? We don't know. You are in a better position to know that than we are. You can factor in a few things: how big a part are you of her daily life? How much money do you give her? Is it "worth" the time she gives you, or does it seem like she must have other motivations? Does she see other guys? Like, we can't know how she feels or what she thinks; and while most people, if you cultivate a relationship of dependency, will expect that provision to continue, that is not really indicative of anything else.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Veteran Member beautiful.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    I think she may really like you. Honestly, I've been with the same guy for 4 years now, been married for 1. When we first started dating, I was attracted to the fact that he had money but I really liked him and didn't ever view him as a sugar daddy, nor did he ever act like one. We did go on trips and he bought me stuff, but it wasn't in the sugar daddy sense. I had 2 sugar daddies before I met him and it was totally different. I fell so in love with him and now we are happily married.

    Even if he lost his job, or quit his job to take a lower paying job that he loves (he's not super happy with his current job) I would still stay with him and wouldn't think twice. I'd say she is being genuine with you, and I wish you the best of luck. Come home safe

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Bachelor Guy,
    You love her, she loves you....she said so. You care for her deeply, you love to spoil her, and you can't stand to see her struggle financially. She means the world to you, and you want to be part of her life. Forget about what she's thinking. All you gotta know is what's in your head. That's the beauty of it all.

    Tell her the truth...all of it. Tell her she makes your knees weak, and your heart pound. Tell her you want to give her everything you got, and everything you're gonna have. Tell her you don't want to spend another minute without her. Then ask her to marry you.

    If she turns you down guy, that's gonna be a tough day for you. But you'll get through it, and you'll be ok.

    If she says yes...well...then you go right ahead and have yourself a nice life. You're entitled to it.
    hb

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    That is a definite plus if our situation is similar to yours. I hope so. Did you meet him in the club? I met my girl but I wasn't like a regular are anything. I admit I went to see her few times just to spend money on her, she never asked if I was coming to see her or anything like that. Right now I believe its genuine but only time will tell like the ladies said.

    For Jenny:
    Jenny, asfar as I know she is not seeing any guys but I believe she has spent time with a girl. She told me she sometimes swings both ways but we never discuss anything about her sexlife. Do I think we are exclusive? Right now I would have to say no, though she seems to be allways be available to talk to me no matter what. I don't know. Also there is no baby daddy drama that I can tell as he was some abusive prick. That was 4 years ago. When I get back in a month I guess we will see.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Thanks alot HockeyBobby. Not to sound like a loser but I believe I fell in love with her the first nigt I met her at the club. Funny thing is I was suppose to be flying to Jamaica that day but the weather kept me grounded and I wound up cancelling my trip. I spent the rest of my vacation dating her. I'm glad I got screwed out of my trip.
    We will see. I get home for vacation in a month, we do have plans, so I will see how much time we actually spend together. I hope everyday but we will see.

    Later

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    No problem BG. You're not a loser. You know we can lose now and then and not be a loser. We can fail and not be failure. Just make sure when you step up to the plate you give it everything you got and take your best shot. Whether you hit a homerun, or spin yourself into the ground striking out, you will have tried your best. That knowledge alone will get you through whatever happens.
    hb

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    I think you know the answer already or you wouldn't be asking... she loves your money and gifts to her, not you. She is putting in the talk time b/c you are making it worth her time. if you were dating her and she lost her phone she would have found a way to contact you before 5 months had passed if she was really interested.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Quote Originally Posted by buffie06 View Post
    I think you know the answer already or you wouldn't be asking... she loves your money and gifts to her, not you. She is putting in the talk time b/c you are making it worth her time. if you were dating her and she lost her phone she would have found a way to contact you before 5 months had passed if she was really interested.
    That was before me seeing her again. In Dec 06 we went OTC and I did give her money straight up but those dates we under the guise of "private shows", You know dinner, movie, ect. We were intimate a few times but no money was exchanged after the fact. I just basically bought her time away from work, thats how I see it. I also did help with a few finacial problems during the first weeks we met. This was all in the span of three weeks. I left after Xmas back to work and we talked a few times the first month I was away but she had no way of contacting me if her phone was lost(which I believe is true), I never asked her for any other phone number, it didnt occur to me and we lost contact for 5 months. When I saw her again she seemed totally excited and happy and we started back up again. We dated again for three months until I left again. She gave me her home number and cell number, now we talk everyday, email everyday, it just seems to me genuine. I hope so because I love this girl so much it hurts, If not back to Jamaica for me living the bachelor life of drinking like a barfly,multiple unemotional sex partners but being totally lonely . At 36 I'm getting tired of that kind of life. I hope you understand why I want this to be real.

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    buffie06
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    ^^ i understand and for your sake hope that it is real, however I still think your gut is already telling you your answer.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Is your money genuine, Daddy?

    Seriously, if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    To the OP...

    Several things about your story leave my Intui-meter thinking you are more of a safe choice for her now then someone she views as a LOVE, but I guess you will find out sooner or later what the truth is.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Quote Originally Posted by BachelorGuy View Post
    If not back to Jamaica for me living the bachelor life of drinking like a barfly,multiple unemotional sex partners but being totally lonely .
    Now THAT'S the kind of life I want!


    Oh, and many relationships are based on financial stability. If she behaves in a loving way towards you, and you are happy....
    What do you want out of this? Monogamy? Marriage? Do you want her to uproot her life and be a part of yours?

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    I made this thread because being overseas and away from her makes me a insecure Dbag lol

    Marriage? Maybe only time will tell. She is certainly a person I could make that leap with.

    Ladies I appreciate all the feedback.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Trying to figure out whether or not you are just being played by a stripper is sometimes very tricky... If you feel unappreciated and feel she just wants you around at her convienence then chances are you are just being used. You will have to come to your own conclusions, and if you are fine with being a "sugar" or "Sugarfree" daddy then so be it... No expectations... No disappointments
    Last edited by laplover69; 01-24-2008 at 05:38 PM.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Quote Originally Posted by BachelorGuy View Post
    Well she totally showed genuine interest in me and we went back to dating OTC with pay atfirst then without pay the last 2months although I do help her out as she is a single mother.
    This part is telling to me. You went BACK to dating her at a price? well that's not a very good sign IMO. I dont see this working out but I dont know either of you so Im just guessing.
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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    You know, just because somebody needs help with money doesn't neccessarily mean they are hustling somebdy. I know they met in the club and all, but there have been times in my life where for whatever reason my ex-boyfriend, who I loved very much, supported me and I wasn't a gold digging whore. Let's not jump to conclisions.

    The truth is, we don't know you or her, so only you can know what's really going on.
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    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Some advice from a veteran:

    Maybe the girl loves you, maybe she loves your money.

    Didn't your first sergeant ever brief you about girls who play the "deployed soldier" scam? They get lots of money from military guys overseas by writing them and pretending to love them. Often they have more than one guy they are stringing along. Then, when you come back to CONUS, something happens to break up the relationship. "I'm sorry, but you've changed so much while you were deployed. I just can't handle it. I'm so sorry..."

    Sometimes they even marry the guy. There are lots of benefits to being a military wife, and if the guy is overseas in an unaccompanied tour for half the time, you can do what you want while he's gone. This is sometimes mutually acceptable, because the guy does what HE wants while he's gone, too, and they both get checked for STDs when he returns. Other times the guy does NOT know. An NCO who worked for me attempted suicide when someone told him what his wife had done while he was in Viet Nam. This lost him his special weapons clearance, and I had to do a LOT of talking to convince the higher ups to give it back to him.

    I'm not saying this is happening with this girl, but it MIGHT be. Beware. You have more to lose than money.

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    Default Re: Is her love genuine?

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    Some advice from a veteran:

    Maybe the girl loves you, maybe she loves your money.

    Didn't your first sergeant ever brief you about girls who play the "deployed soldier" scam? They get lots of money from military guys overseas by writing them and pretending to love them. Often they have more than one guy they are stringing along. Then, when you come back to CONUS, something happens to break up the relationship. "I'm sorry, but you've changed so much while you were deployed. I just can't handle it. I'm so sorry..."

    Sometimes they even marry the guy. There are lots of benefits to being a military wife, and if the guy is overseas in an unaccompanied tour for half the time, you can do what you want while he's gone. This is sometimes mutually acceptable, because the guy does what HE wants while he's gone, too, and they both get checked for STDs when he returns. Other times the guy does NOT know. An NCO who worked for me attempted suicide when someone told him what his wife had done while he was in Viet Nam. This lost him his special weapons clearance, and I had to do a LOT of talking to convince the higher ups to give it back to him.

    I'm not saying this is happening with this girl, but it MIGHT be. Beware. You have more to lose than money.
    LOL Yeah I actually know of people that has happend to. I'm not in the military anymore. I'm a civilian contractor.
    I do make alot of money over here but I don't send her a shitload of money every month.I do send enough for her not to stress over just standard living. She never asked me to send her money either, its just that I know she struggles with work, her daughter, ect. So I want to help her in any way I can. Yeah I'm crazy about this woman

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