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Thread: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    On the line of spicy yhands, I used to say my hand was fizzing.

    Once, when my grandparents were babysitting me, I snuck upstairs to my grandfather's bedroom, where he was sleeping, and cranked up the electric blanket to it's highest setting. He woke up later drenched in sweat, and came down stairs to ask who had turned up the blanket. My grandma asked me if I did, and I just replied "But I just wanted to cook a turkey too."

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    Last summer, I took the kids to the park to meet up with some friends. Makayla had been kind of "clingy" and whiny (signaling that she's hungry)...so I gave her something to eat and told her as she stood up, "Now, go run, play, and be merry..." And she looked at me, with her head cocked to the side and hands on her hips, and said, "But, why should I be Mary? I'm Makayla."

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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    These remind me of the time I asked my mom about a photo on her fridge. It was a pic of my dad and an older man that I didn't recognize. I said, "Who's the old guy in this pic?" My daughter replied, "That's grandpa!"

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    i just remembered one
    I took my 4 year old neice to get her nails done with me over thanksgiving time.
    She is a super princessy little girl and was wearing this purple velvet skirt and top.
    Well we are at the PACKED salon and she starts itching between her legs, i ask her if she needs to go to the bathroom and she says loudly. NO I don't wear panties and sometimes i itch down there because i take a lot of bubble baths. I was like ok great and quickly changed the subject haha.



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  5. #30
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    one about me-
    I was about 6 and went to camp all day during the summer while my parents worked.
    I heard a lot of bad stuff from the older kids i guess because i was sitting in the back seat sucking my thumb when out of no where i told my mom i was pregnant because me and Andre *my camp friend* had sex. She said she almost drove off the road.



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  6. #31
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    Oh my Philly!

  7. #32
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    After my son was born, we went to dinner with my parents and my brother's family. My nephew was about 5-6 at the time, and when the waitress came to our table, Warren (nephew) announced that the baby (my son's) name is Bodhi and he's a boy. The waitress told him that was really nice and started to walk away, so Warren YELLS "He has a weiner, too!" The waitress kind of stopped and laughed to herself, but for the rest of the night we could hear her telling all her coworkers about it.

    I'm sooo not looking foreward to those moments.

    ETA: Another time, while I was pregnant, we took my brother's family out to the Outback, and Warren comes to sit on my mom's knee, and says real loud "Gramma, I pooped in my Pull-ups!" And we all had to stifle our laughter.

    And YET ANOTHER story about Warren (He's a fun kid!), my brother got a call from the school principal one day, that Warren had been found in the boy's bathroom, pants around his ankles, playing "Helicopter". My brother almost shit trying not to laugh on the phone.
    "take it from me, to be a stripper, all you need to have is no talent!"

  8. #33
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    I remembered this one yesterday. When G was younger, 4 maybe, he was so pleased to hear a certian priest he took a liking to was being assigned permanently to our church, that when it was announced at the end of mass, G yells out, "does that mean we get to keep him?"

  9. #34
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    Oh, here's another one:

    Last year, Makayla's first day of school fell on her birthday. So, they have this party for her...cake, etc. She's THRILLED and when I pick her up, she's so excited, "They had this big party for me...I love this school..." She just could not get over how they threw this party for her on her first day of school. So, the next day, I go to pick her up and I asked her how her day was and she said, "It was no fun. They didn't throw me a party today."

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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    I've mentioned it before, but when I was little I went up to a black lady and said, "Mummy, why did God burn that lady?"

    Incidentally, my mum was dating a black man at the time. I never asked about HIS skin. wtf?


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  11. #36
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    I went over to my sister's house to visit my neice, who I had not seen in some time. She's four. She decided to show me her christmas presents. At one point she opened her closet and crawled up on a wire rack made to hold shoes, but the top functioned as a table. She sat on it, showing me the new clothes she had hanging in her closet, then looked at me and pointed to the rack/table. "I sleep in here." If it were anyone else they would have called CPS on my sister.

    She also pulled out a bat made of like...vinyl with a harder core and had disney princesses all over it. She held it up. "And see? I got a bat! I meat up Jacob with it! (Jacob is the family husky) She then turns to a HUGE stuffed animal husky and proceed to BEAT the SHIT out of it. "Bad Jacob! BAD BAD JACOB!!" She then turns to me and very matter of factly says "I beat up Angel too." (Angel is the other family dog)

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    Ooh! New one from my niece.

    So my sister is WHOA pregnant, with twins. They still don't know the sex because the fetii are being bashful. On the way home, my four year old niece piped up what they were naming her 'sisters.' (She's convinced it's girls.) My sister said "Well, they could be brothers, you know." My niece looked scandalized and responded "Well, if they are boys, send them back!"

  13. #38
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    These stories are hilarious!

    When I was little, my mom watched South Park. Of course I wasn't allowed to see it, but I would come downstairs and be reallyreally quiet as I watched the TV from the other room, and I would just ask for water if my mom caught me. On one of the episodes I saw, Stan kept using the word "dildo", which I took to mean something along the lines of "idiot".

    The next day, I was at my best friend's house and we were playing in her living room while her devout Catholic mother made us balogna sandwiches in the adjoined kitchen. I kept calling her little brother a dildo.

    Her mom never said anything, but I asked my mom what the word meant that evening and when she [gently] explained, I blushed my ass off and didn't goto my friend's house for a good week!

  14. #39
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    This weekend I went to see a parade at my cousin's house and she brought her little 3 year old son. During the parade I got some beads of a half naked lady hugging a penis. He kept asking "what is that?" "what is that?" and I just kept responding " I dunno G ask your mom"

    Then he asked why the lady was naked. Her friend said that she was probably changing into her pajamas, lol. Ahhh kids

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  15. #40
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    Omg TheSexKitten I feel so old! I just looked and apparently SP debuted in 1997, but sheesh I was still 12! I am old!


    highfive's to SS's niece!! lmao

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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberrySwitchblade View Post
    I went over to my sister's house to visit my neice, who I had not seen in some time. She's four. She decided to show me her christmas presents. At one point she opened her closet and crawled up on a wire rack made to hold shoes, but the top functioned as a table. She sat on it, showing me the new clothes she had hanging in her closet, then looked at me and pointed to the rack/table. "I sleep in here." If it were anyone else they would have called CPS on my sister.

    She also pulled out a bat made of like...vinyl with a harder core and had disney princesses all over it. She held it up. "And see? I got a bat! I meat up Jacob with it! (Jacob is the family husky) She then turns to a HUGE stuffed animal husky and proceed to BEAT the SHIT out of it. "Bad Jacob! BAD BAD JACOB!!" She then turns to me and very matter of factly says "I beat up Angel too." (Angel is the other family dog)
    Awww a little Domme in the making.


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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    Feeling a bit shitty today but this thread has really cheered me up, kids are so cute!



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  19. #44
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    I worked in a daycare when I was 14, and my fave lil boy was really the worst behaved in the class, lil devil. Naptimes got boring sometimes, and he'd still be awake as I sat with him to help him go to sleep, so one day I said "Keith, sing me a song" and he thinks long and hard for 2 mins., then busts out with "We're not gonna take it! NO! We ain't gonna take it! We're not gonna take it, ANYMORE!" I almost woke the whole class up trying not to laugh. P.S. he couldn't say any "R's" hahaha

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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    Omg TheSexKitten I feel so old! I just looked and apparently SP debuted in 1997, but sheesh I was still 12! I am old!
    I was about to write this exact same post, like, word for word!

  21. #46
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    Hehe I know right! When I think of "when I was little, my mom was watching...." I think "A Current Affair" not SP! Of course that will make lots of ppl feel old too.

  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    Omg TheSexKitten I feel so old! I just looked and apparently SP debuted in 1997, but sheesh I was still 12! I am old!


    YOU are old?? I was 24.....

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    Default Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things

    I was visiting my sister in Arizona, and we were riding in the car with her daughter, Jennifer, who was only a few years old. The scenery is a lot different in AZ than it was in Detroit, so I was staring out the window at it.

    Jennifer: What are you doing?
    Me: I'm watching the scenery go by.
    Jennifer: What do you mean?
    Me (pointing out the window): See those cactuses and rocks and things?
    Jennifer: Cactuses don't move!!


    Lynn

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    YOU are old?? I was 24.....
    we are way too young to be feeling too old. I just wanted to try it out.

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    we are way too young to be feeling too old.
    Tell that to my joints! Its oh-so-sexy when I'm dancing for a guy and when I stand up my knees pop.

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