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  1. #1
    Kaylinn
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    Im done I give up. I have been working 3 nights a wek, but I only been m,aking a couple hundred every night tonight I didnt make anything. None. I lfet negative. I have these fucking payday loans that need paid every fuckign week, abut tomorrow is the lat extension and has to be paid in fuill $1500. I don't have it. My car is finally scheduled for reposession for this week and I dont have it. My boyfriend car is going for reposesiojn next week and we dont have it. His paycheck was deposited today and it is gone caust eh bank was negative, and he paid a few bills and that was it.

    I have been tryign my best and working and my best just isnt good enough. I am done. Finished. I cannot fight this life anymore. Obviosuly it just snt working, no matter how hard I try to make thigns better, I just cant. we got a little ahead and thigns were on the right track, but I just am not making enough to get ahead, only enough to keep up and we were just to far behind. I am onl making enough to pay the current bills, but thta isnt' goo enough when the cars are $600 behind each, and the payday loans suck our money dry evry week. We ook them out months ago when we had no othe roption and it was that or starve. I just cant do this anymore.
    yes. I am drunk. and panicing. I dont know what to do. I try and try and i cant gt it ahead. I cant do this anymore.
    Adios.

  2. #2
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    I don't totally know what to say, because I just woke up. I know you've been having a very rough time of it. Please don't do anything awful, okay? Sometimes things in life need to change. You may just need to make a bunch of changes right now, even though it seems scary and bad. Sleep a little, get more sober and try to sort it out tomorrow. *hugs*

  3. #3
    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Kaylinn I sent you a PM..
    You Cant Quit until you try, You cant live until you die, You Cant learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie.You Cant Breath Until you choke,You gotta Laugh When your the Joke, Theres Nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive! Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry at my Funeral!
    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yes please save me from this life of debauchery! You can all kneel down and worship at the Church of the Holy Clitoris to convince me!!

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    deleted
    Last edited by cutey5032; 10-11-2008 at 03:56 PM.

  5. #5
    Alaska
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    Sweetheart.....fuck it. Fuck the cars and the loans. Say fuck it as usual, even tho it's way worse this time. You'll survive. Reading thru yr stripping stories the last few years, it's a job you were not "meant" to do, but kept on doing it bc you were upset it's not something yr "meant" to do.......bad trap, I can see exactly how that happens. To thine own self be true Kaylinn, and you'll have less of this mess when you are. What about banquet serving at the hotels? That's great $$ and flexible on-call, but I dunno maybe Vegas is crazy and you have to know someone. Stop trying to do something your heart isn't in and that SUCKS RIGHT NOW (stripping) Say fuck the bills as usual, you will get by w/o cars even if you live far away from things, and chalk it up to forcing yourself to do a job you know you hate, and use the insight to say "shit sucks right now bc of it, but that's why I know I have to get another job and be happier." So easy, I know. But really. Can you not go to school this semester and move?

  6. #6
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Done

    Try bartending, maybe? You're garaunteed tips regardless, esp. in Vegas.

  7. #7
    cameron_keys
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    Pm-ing you.

  8. #8
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Done

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    Im done I give up. I have been working 3 nights a wek, but I only been m,aking a couple hundred every night tonight I didnt make anything. None. I lfet negative. I have these fucking payday loans that need paid every fuckign week, abut tomorrow is the lat extension and has to be paid in fuill $1500. I don't have it. My car is finally scheduled for reposession for this week and I dont have it. My boyfriend car is going for reposesiojn next week and we dont have it. His paycheck was deposited today and it is gone caust eh bank was negative, and he paid a few bills and that was it.

    I have been tryign my best and working and my best just isnt good enough. I am done. Finished. I cannot fight this life anymore. Obviosuly it just snt working, no matter how hard I try to make thigns better, I just cant. we got a little ahead and thigns were on the right track, but I just am not making enough to get ahead, only enough to keep up and we were just to far behind. I am onl making enough to pay the current bills, but thta isnt' goo enough when the cars are $600 behind each, and the payday loans suck our money dry evry week. We ook them out months ago when we had no othe roption and it was that or starve. I just cant do this anymore.
    yes. I am drunk. and panicing. I dont know what to do. I try and try and i cant gt it ahead. I cant do this anymore.
    Adios.
    You just had a bad night and are drunk, so it seems really bad. You can get out of debt, you just need to be positive and have a plan.

    A couple of hundred isn't bad. It's more than you are going to make waitressing or something. If your working 3 days, maybe you could go to 5. I was this far behind when I started dancing and I worked 6-7 days a week for a month or so to catch up.

    Who cares if you lose the cars? It sucks, but in the grand scheme, it isn't really a biggie at all. Just make sure you rebound well.

    Put all your money for the next couple of nights into saving one car. Talk to the payday loan place and negotiate a payment plan, they may be resistant at first, but they don't want you to default, it will cost them much more than renegotiating the terms and payments will. Be frank and tell them exactly what you can afford to pay and when you can pay it.

    Avoid payday loans in the future, there are lots of cheap options to get you by untill you can work a shift. If you have a CC it is better to use it than take out a PD loan. I survived on generic mac & cheese and happy hour free goodies at the downstairs bar for a few months once, be creative.

    Deposit your money immediately, if you keep it you are tempted to spend it. $10-20 a day is really significant over the course of a month if you are trying to pay things down.

    Best of luck and try not to let things get you down!
    Jasmine

  9. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Honestly Jasmine, I agree with Alaska. Kaylinn has been doing a job that's really not right for her at all, and I think forcing herself to continue doing it is taking it's toll mentally and emotionally...and she'll always be stuck in a rut if she continues to to do what makes her unhappy.

    Sometimes this job causes people more harm than good. Some people just can't do it. That doesn't make you weak if you can't Kaylinn, but it makes you mature to see that it is what it is.

  10. #10
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    Honestly Jasmine, I agree with Alaska. Kaylinn has been doing a job that's really not right for her at all, and I think forcing herself to continue doing it is taking it's toll mentally and emotionally...and she'll always be stuck in a rut if she continues to to do what makes her unhappy.

    Sometimes this job causes people more harm than good. Some people just can't do it. That doesn't make you weak if you can't Kaylinn, but it makes you mature to see that it is what it is.
    Of course. If she is unhappy then finding another job should be her top priority. It can be a soul-destroying business to many and you will never be happy doing something that isn't right for you.

    I apologize if I came across as insensitive, I thought she was just feeling down because she was behind with the bills and not feeling like she was doing well enough at work. Even if you enjoy dancing sometimes the assholes can really get to you.

  11. #11
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Have you ever considered leaving Las Vegas? I can see how it could be an incredibly depressing place to live. Other cities aren't as brutal.

  12. #12
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine View Post
    I apologize if I came across as insensitive,
    Nooooo, not at all.

  13. #13
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    I just want to say that i love you and i think you have amazing potential and this too shall pass
    feel free to pm if you want



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  14. #14
    Alaska
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    This will vanish, just like we've watched all the other terrible times disappear. This too shall pass. I promise. I get to make those promises.
    Okay then, I retract everything. It doesn't matter, now that TOO is here.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    Have you ever considered leaving Las Vegas? I can see how it could be an incredibly depressing place to live. Other cities aren't as brutal.
    That was my thought, too. If the school is sucking, work is sucking, etc. I know you feel like you have responsibilities to your bf Kaylinn, but if it's all going splat, maybe this is your time to move back to PA (take him with?), or Mars, or whereever and get stuff going the Kaylinn way. I have no call on whether or not you should keep dancing, but LV dancing, at least, is not doing it for ya.

  16. #16
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Hey mami, I understand how you feel. We love and support you over here. Times are tough, the only thing getting me through is knowning I am loved. Same goes for you, you are loved, and in my thoughts.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  17. #17
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    ^I agree. That's what's been getting me through these shit times, too. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, K.



  18. #18
    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. You're strong Kaylinn. Keep your chin up <3

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Lysondra, can I taste your Abortion?
    Quote Originally Posted by Snowles View Post
    BalletBaby + Alice in Chains >>> Pie.

  19. #19
    Callyish
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    Please tell me someone has talked to her since she made this post. This is the last thing she posted on here.

    Im worried about her now

    Kaylinn we all love you. Your a beautiful wonderful person and things will work out for you. *hugs*

    I gotta see if I can find her number...

  20. #20
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    There is a way to deal with this successfully and you will find it. Be strong and positive and I'll think good thoughts for you.

  21. #21
    Kaylinn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    Please tell me someone has talked to her since she made this post. This is the last thing she posted on here.

    Im worried about her now

    Kaylinn we all love you. Your a beautiful wonderful person and things will work out for you. *hugs*

    I gotta see if I can find her number...

    I'm around. just not in a posting mood. been thinking a lot. i dont know what I want to do. hide under a rock i guess. im tired of facing life. it got to exausting to fight. dont know what i was fighting for and why it was worth it.
    sorry. don't mean to drag you guys down. im not a dramatic person. i prob. won't be around for awhile..till i can get myself straight or something.and be a normal person of society again. if i can. i might go burn down the us mint or something.

  22. #22
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Done

    Somebody told me this one time, and now I'll tell you: when you feel like this, it is a sign that you need to change what you are doing, because what you are doing is making you miserable.

    Also, this will pass and you're an amazing person who has come through much worse already.



  23. #23
    Veteran Member kitty69's Avatar
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    You are in my thoughts Kaylinn. Hang in there, although it doesn't feel like it right now things will get better, they always do. From what I have read in your posts, you are a fighter. Be kind to yourself and one day you will look back and be proud that you got through it.

  24. #24
    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    K, I am sorry this is happening now. You have a lot of good advice here. I hope you are open to it.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Sand's Avatar
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    Default Re: Done

    Kaylinn don't give up!

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