I've just always sensed that there is some form of higher being; after all, creation is way too complex and perfect to have just happened by accident. Something had to be guiding evolution, designing physics, and putting it all together.
But I too had an experience. I met my ex-husband when I was 17, so I had never been really alone. When I was in Australia, he left to go back to the States and I had to stay in Oz for six more months to finish my degree. I spent the first few weeks on my first solo road trip (it was a semester break), just driving around the country by myself. I wound up in Tasmania, one of the most beautiful and remote places on earth.
On my first morning there, I hiked at dawn up Cradle Mountain, and sat on a rock overlooking Dove Lake to watch the rest of the sunrise. This is where it was:
I had been nervous and panicky, terrified of my solitude, afraid to speak to people, distraught over where my life was going. But I sat on that huge rock and watched the lake, which was glassy and perfectly still, and there was no sound. No leaves rustling, no birds, just vast and profound quiet. There's something in the Bible that refers to the presence of G-d as "a still, small voice" and that's sort of what spoke to me - no one actually spoke in the sense we understand it, but I got the sensation of a warm and loving embrace, and I knew in a moment that I was going to be all right. I suddenly understood that I was strong and capable, and I was a match for anything life threw at me, and I could be alone if I needed to be but I didn't need to be afraid of companionship either.
When the embrace sensation lifted, so did all my fear and stress. I haven't been afraid of death since that morning, because I know it will come when it's time and not a minute sooner. I haven't stressed about things I can't change since then, either. I know there is a higher plan and everything will work out the way it's supposed to.
Bookmarks