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Thread: Daddy Issues

  1. #1
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Daddy Issues

    Oh gosh... I'm so upset. I get this email out of the blue (like usual) from my father. I guess he's the type that is very "out of sight out of mind". He wants to know how I am doing, mind you I haven't heard a peep from him for 6 months.

    Randomness may be his trademark. He is always on some adventure in some far off country. Lengthy trips are easy to pay for when you don't have any family to support. Lame...

    He almost sounds miffed in the email that he can't get in contact with me. Uhmm... email? LOL... how about trying that, I obviously got this one.

    Fuck, even emails from the friggin space station take only 23 minutes to reach earth. Why 6 months?

    Mind you, he hasn't even tried to see me in 5 years. When I finally could go on my own to Russia (after graduating college this spring) he conveniently couldn't help me work out my Visa.

    I dunno, I sent back a very snarky email. My first snarky email to him.

    Eithery he'll wake the fuck up or he'll hate me. I'll just be sad for the time being.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  2. #2
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    Sorry. Parent trouble has a special pain to it.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    I know my father actually took off w/o notice and I HAD TO TRACK HIM DOWN...and same thing calls freaking outta the blue, or gets all butt hurt when I don't call for christmas...father's day etc.

    Well jeez if you actually cared or put an effort to maintain contact MAYBE just maybe I could be more civil...-.-

  4. #4
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    I am so sorry honey. One can't understand what goes on in the mind of a parent. I hope you and he can have a good relationship one day. It hurts not to feel loved by the ones who brought you to this world.

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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    I'm so sorry to hear about this, Sophia. Not my place to judge at all, but I certainly don't understand a guy being out of his touch with his daughter for so long and then giving you attitude on top of it. You sure have a right to be mad about it.

    I have seen, in some people, this kind of situation completely occupy them, so that they cannot live their own lives. This will be an issue for you, but I think you need to move on with your life--make your own life and family or eventual family a success, and then in your soul, to some degree, you'll feel like you have transcended this. I don't know the specifics of what has happened with your dad, but ultimately it sounds like the chaos is not in you--it is in him, and this is important to remember. Otherwise the choices he has made can yank you around like a puppet on a string; regardless of what your dad has done, regardless of the choices he has made, you have your own life to live. Embrace that, make good choices yourself, and I think it will lessen some of the anger, and give you some peace and strength. This is my wish for you.
    JK Jim

  6. #6
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    ...mind you I haven't heard a peep from him for 6 months. ...Mind you, he hasn't even tried to see me in 5 years.
    That's lousy. As a parent myself, I can't fathom a dad acting like that. But it is what it is. Hope you feel better.

  7. #7
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    My father contacted me after 19 years. He started talking shit about my mom and my sister, saying they must have told me all sorts of lies. I told him whats past is past, it doesn't matter either way, but that him talking smack about those who actually have been in my life the past 19 years prob. wasn't the best way to start off a relationship. He was super offended and gave me a huge attitude that I didn't believe everything he had to say and I haven't written back since, he hasn't made an effort to contact me either.

    Sorry you have to deal with that but I feel your pain.


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    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

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    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    sweetie i know youve probably heard this before, but you have to accept your parents for who they are.... which basically means lowering your expectations. You already know what type of guy your dad is, so dont expect him to be the kind of parent you want him to be. He's not and he never will be. Having said that it is still possible to have a relationship with him. One in which you know there will be months when you dont talk to him, and times where you will have to get in touch with him. Try to remember that he is only human, and just like you sometimes, gets caught up in whatever he is doing

  9. #9
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by kikidejavu View Post
    sweetie i know youve probably heard this before, but you have to accept your parents for who they are.... which basically means lowering your expectations. You already know what type of guy your dad is, so dont expect him to be the kind of parent you want him to be. He's not and he never will be. Having said that it is still possible to have a relationship with him. One in which you know there will be months when you dont talk to him, and times where you will have to get in touch with him. Try to remember that he is only human, and just like you sometimes, gets caught up in whatever he is doing
    Nobody needs to "lower their expectations" because their father wasn't in their life. Nobody should flat out ignore their parental responsibilities and the emotional well being of their child because they "got caught up with whatever they're doing". I think the OP knows very well what kind of person her father is, but there is no excuse in the world for being a shitty parent.

  10. #10
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by kikidejavu View Post
    Try to remember that he is only human, and just like you sometimes, gets caught up in whatever he is doing
    Actually he's NOT just like her. She has made efforts to get closer and he has created roadblocks. He's a child who's relating to her like a meaningless acquaintance -- NOT a daughter.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  11. #11
    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Daddy Issues

    Ok so im just saying that she cannot make him be a good daddy. Thats not him. She also cannot sit around being mad that he hasnt called in six months because knowing him, that should be expected. Fucked up? yes unexpected? no. The way i see it she can

    1. say fuck you daddy, and not deal with him or
    2. Have a semi relationship with him in which they only talk every once in a while, and be cool with that.

    And sorry there is no 3. in which he calls all the time, and they go out for ice cream, because that is not him, and she can cry, and yell til her head pops off, but he will never be the good parent that she wants him to be because once again thats not him!

    He has clearly shown that he is no good, so why should she keep banging her head against the wall, expecting him to change?

    If she cant be cool with a semi relationship, she shouldnt deal with him at all so he cant keep breaking her heart everytime he fails to be what she expects and needs

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