I am a new dancer. Started last night for the first time EVER. Something I have always wanted to do and also thought would help with my mounting debt from school loans and family loans. I had such a horrible night, I don't know if I can go back!
The night was slow so others didn't make as good as they usually do. I was trying my damn-dest to fake confidence I wasn't feeling. I am a bit of a shy wallflower so I thought this would also be a personal growth experience. So I was trying to play up the first night dancing thing and I need practice to everyone. No one believed me that it was my first night! I would try to ask questions that couldn't be answered with a no: "would you like a dance now or later?" Most just said "maybe later" so I lost confidence to go back to them. But I had no idea how to ask them for a VIP or hourly conversation rate. So I ended up chatting up people for free! I thought that was better than standing around looking like a dud of a dancer.
I fell during 2 stage shows in my fucking shoes. Luckily the falls were salvageable and I wasn't hurt. There were many times I couldn't put my breakaway back on because I couldn't figure out the side snap, making me feel really foolish asking other dancers how my goddamn thong worked. I probably made around $80 after tipping working about 11-2:30 (7-10:30 was training). I had a couple of enjoyable dances where the tips were decent but most were definitely bad (low). The entire time I was thinking how I am standing here breathing in all this smoke til my eyes watered and my throat felt like it was bleeding, feeling dizzy from tiredness, torturing my feet, missing out on putting my daughter to bed, for a few fucking dollars an hour.
Then to top off this night of misery, I got pulled over on my way home. For no reason but to see if my registration was valid. Guess what? It wasn't!!
It was expired almost a year because my husband forgot it expired on his birthday. The cop informed me he was impounding the car and giving me a court date and dropping me off at the nearest gas station so my husband could wake the sleeping baby and load her into the car to pick me up at 3:00am. So I am bawling in the gas station with all the homeless men asking how they can help! lol
I know that first days on any job are rarely fun and easy. I just don't know how to psyche myself to go back. Course the fact that I have already put so much money into getting this job (license, clothes, shoes, supplies ~ $600) from money we don't have, makes it an easy decision on what I SHOULD do.
Help! Does anyone have a shred of hope that it will get better? Will confidence dancing happen for sure as I go? I feel like I can't afford to give it years before I start making money.
Then there is the problem of what car I am going to use to get back there.
On another note, my first night dancing was also my first encounter with a strip club. The place is pretty upscale but I was struck by what a surreal situation it is. I am walking around in my underwear and it is totally ok and accepted! I know most won't see this as a big deal, but for a newbie, it is quite a shock. Then there is the fact that I am standing amongst so many beautiful naked women! There haven't been many situations in my life that had me around so many who were so comfortable with their bodies. More women should try dancing at least one for that experience alone!
I also don't think I can look at men the same way. One guy I danced for was chatting with me before I started dancing for him. He was conversing with me like any self-conscious guy OTC would. So he was looking at me like I was a person. Then I started dancing for him, and his face totally changed! Like all of a sudden he was staring at a pot of gold he just found! It was really strange for me and unsettling at first.
Thanks for reading. I feel better having at least discussed this with someone. No one except my husband knows about my new job.
Any words of advice are greatly appreciated!


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They may seem like little things but your confidence will be exponentially higher when you have these things under control. 

But I realize that "good money" means totally different things to every person. To me, a crappy night is still more than I made as middle management, so it's a short path to Happyville. It doesn't mean I don't work work work for it, though!
) but as a first night dancer? high expectations only set you up for failure. and most of the time they are very, very unrealistic.

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