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Thread: Ripping ass in VIP

  1. #1
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Ripping ass in VIP

    Last night, I had a customer back in VIP for a half hour. 20 minutes into his half hour, dude farted the fart of ages. I'm talking a SBD, could not be ignored, sulfur of the devil fart. He told me his half hour was probably over, and excused himself to go to the bathroom. Dude probably had explosive diarrhea.

    UGH. Most disgusting moment of my dancing career. Had to share. Can anyone top that? (I'm sure you can)

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    I cannot top that! But damn! That was funny

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Ugh, thats nasty! I don't have a story to add, and I hope I never will...ahah. At least you got 10 min off as some kind of payment for having to endure that!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Amber_Sparxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    I have two, actually, one worse than the other, I think.

    When I first started dancing, I didn't know about cutting your tampon string. (I bet you already know where this is going!) I was dancing on the BAR for my set when a floorguy comes up to me and URGENTLY whispers "Check yourself". With him agreeing to tell the DJ that I was leaking or something so I wouldn't get in trouble for leaving the stage, I promptly hopped down, raced to the locker room, and didn't come out for a little over 3 hours.

    Now I cut the damn string!

    Story 2: Thank heavens this didn't happen while I was on the floor where everyone could see this happening. After doing a few dances in the champagne room with this guy, I felt the telltale "whoosh-squish" that comes along with the onset of blood expulsion. Praying that I was wrong, I inconspicuously glanced down at his pants, and sure enough, there it was, proof of my womanliness all over his pants!!!!!! It was nearing the end of our room, so I acted more inebriated than I actually was, and "accidentally" (strategically) spilled a drink on him so that he wouldn't immediately notice the dark spot on his pants. God, I felt like such a heathen-bitch!
    "Whether you believe you can or can't, either way, you are right." --- Henry Ford



  5. #5
    Banned roxanna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Thankfully, nothing even comes close to that one, hope youre okay, sound pretty traumatizing!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Brooklynn06's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    One of my old regs would constantly rip ass. It didn't matter if we were dancing, or just sitting at the table....gross!

  7. #7
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Amber beats my story.

  8. #8
    Member Synesthetic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    "farted the fart of ages" made me laugh for about 5 minutes.

  9. #9
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    One dancer leaked feces all over the dressing room floor (I think it was from vigorous buttsexing before work)......The manager said, "I knew you'd do anything to go home early!" You had to be there. Er, OK, maybe you wouldn't want to, but take my word for it.

  10. #10
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Quote Originally Posted by Amber_Sparxx View Post
    I acted more inebriated than I actually was, and "accidentally" (strategically) spilled a drink on him so that he wouldn't immediately notice the dark spot on his pants. God, I felt like such a heathen-bitch!
    ^^^I don't know if I should feel sorry for the guy or high-five you. Either way... awesome story.

    So far I haven't been pooted on or thrown up on. Knock on wood!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  11. #11
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    when i was in japan i had a regular who would take me on dohans (dinner dates) one time we were in the taxt coming back from teppanyaki, and he let rip. i swear he shat himself. he smelt like poo for the rest of the night

  12. #12
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    One dancer leaked feces all over the dressing room floor (I think it was from vigorous buttsexing before work)......The manager said, "I knew you'd do anything to go home early!" You had to be there. Er, OK, maybe you wouldn't want to, but take my word for it.
    ^^^I always say, this isn't a strip club... it's the nude circus. Time to hose out the stalls!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  13. #13
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    I've had the fart of ages happen to me, too. Only this guy actually had the nerve to buy another dance after the first farty one. Then he let it rip again. That time he left early, which was good, because I wasn't going to offer him another one.
    Of course it was one of those nights where the whole club was dead and everyone was struggling to get any dances at all. When I politely suggested that he tip me, he handed me three dollars.

    This fart was seriously rank beyond human comprehension. I couldn't believe how bad it was even as it was happening. Also, I was petrified that another customer/dancer would walk back into the couch dance room and think that it came from ME.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  14. #14
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    This isn't me, but I'll tell it because it's awesome. My friend (an inactive member here, Izabella) got puked on while doing a dance a club in Bozeman. As if that in itself wasn't bad enough, there was a blurb in the local PAPER about it the next day! For serious. 'A stripper got vomited on at Buffalo Sation last night', or some such. How crazy is that.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  15. #15
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Lmfao

  16. #16
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Ahaha when I first started dancing I got roped into entertaining a guy for his 19th bday. They were feeding him shot after shot after shot after shot and making him chug cooler after cooler after cooler... while I was dancing for him. Well he passed out mid dance... I tapped him on the shoulder, no reaction... I lightly slapped him on the face and he comes to, shoves me off his lap and leans over and projectile vomited all over the place and me.... yea I was not happy.

    Best of it is management wouldn't let me go home

  17. #17
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Yeah... I think I'd get farted on like that five or six times in a row if it meant I could avoid being puked on! So much worse.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  18. #18
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    OMG! Okay so I just got done my last show and a guy sitting in sniffers row let out the nastiest stankest grossest putrid fart ever. Seriously the entire bar just reaked.... and it was obvious who it was because he was sitting alone. God I swear the smell even stuck to my costume... I could smell it when I went into the changing room after *gag*

  19. #19
    Featured Member BrodieLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    This isn't me, but I'll tell it because it's awesome. My friend (an inactive member here, Izabella) got puked on while doing a dance a club in Bozeman. As if that in itself wasn't bad enough, there was a blurb in the local PAPER about it the next day! For serious. 'A stripper got vomited on at Buffalo Sation last night', or some such. How crazy is that.
    Your post made me laugh out loud!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSeeker View Post
    ^Pssssttttt, your stripper is showing.

  20. #20
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    I hate it when people fart during dances. The worst thing is when there are several people getting dances in the same room and someone farts i get worried that my customer will think it's me. But when it's only the two of you, you know it's him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  21. #21
    sun child
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Well I have to say...I've totally farted on a customer during a LD. And pretended like nothing happened. That damned bar food!

  22. #22
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Omg Scarlett! Did she call the press herself?

    ViolaStrings, I told your story to my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend last night in the words you used and we both almost fell off our chairs in public laughing like crazy. It was awesome.




    My theory: Men are jerks because instead of learning how to hold them in, they just let them out and are usually laughed at, clapped for, given promotions. So Todd said "Well maybe he was just fat, drunk, and had a stomacheache." I was like, gee the odds might be pretty good on all 3 just given the fact that he was a male in a sc. More laughing.

  23. #23
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Ew, why can't some guys just hold it in? Sheesh, "I'm in the presence of a beautiful woman, I think I'll let out a huge fart!"

  24. #24
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    our beauty just inspires quivering rectums I guess.

  25. #25
    Veteran Member firekitten19's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ripping ass in VIP

    Quote Originally Posted by fancygirl View Post
    our beauty just inspires quivering rectums I guess.
    LMFAO...
    Forever Love, Forever Dream
    To be a man you must have Honor and a Penis- Shin Chan

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