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Thread: Holler if it's been a while!

  1. #1
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Holler if it's been a while!

    I want cock. Not a vibrator. A cock. I can't even remember the last time I had sex, and I want it now. I'm tired of waking up in the morning and masturbating. I want to get pounded. Seriously pounded. I don't care if it does permanent damage to my internal organs.

    Any one else in the same boat?

    I want sex! I want sex! I want sex!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  2. #2
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    For being in a relationship, it's been awhile for me. I'm not going to say how long, because it's really not that long. Boyfriend is working both jobs still and I'm working again, so it seems one of us is either at work or we're both sleeping. Anyway, HOLLER!

  3. #3
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    ^^^I'm in a relationship right now... We were on opposite schedules... now he lost his job and is depressed... I'm never gonna get it.

    Angry and sexless.

    Cock.

    Cock.

    Cock.

    Cock on the brain.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  4. #4
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    I want cock. Not a vibrator. A cock. I can't even remember the last time I had sex, and I want it now. I'm tired of waking up in the morning and masturbating. I want to get pounded. Seriously pounded. I don't care if it does permanent damage to my internal organs.
    This post is so beautiful it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

    Don't worry -- now that you've admitted it to yourself, just look out. It's a vibe and guys who are sensitive to that vibe are going to start falling out of the sky. Trust me on this.

    In the meantime, could I borrow a few words to put in my sig line? It's a running theme and all that....

  5. #5
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Quote away.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  6. #6
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Holler!!!!!

    His schedule sucks ass! I'm just gonna stick to myself. lol.

  7. #7
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Sex? I dimly remember how that works: Insert Part "A" into Part "B." Repeat.

  8. #8
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Oh my god, don't talk like this, I'm trying to stick to my "confirmed career spinster" program for my own good right now...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    ::Raises my hand::
    I miss sex too
    My husband hasn't even been TRYING! Which in some ways is a relief because sex hasn't felt good for a few months, and in some ways its a blow to my ego because i feel undesirable. He is good about telling me how sexy he finds me which helps. I still masturbate but its not the same... I WANT MY FUN KINKY UBER SATISFYING SEX LIFE BACK! And i still gotta wait 6 weeks after the baby is born. ::sigh::



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  10. #10
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Finally. got. some. cock. It was all and and shit. Woo! Not really. But horray for penis!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  11. #11
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    A-to-the-MEN and Halle-fucking-llulah. I am your witness.

    I was recently informed that the reason my only sexual relationship went sour 6.5 years ago is that he gets bored of sex in long term relationships and only wants new tail. He fucked another girl a couple nights ago (with my persmission!) and didn't even have the decency to give me a turn before he was finished and passed out.

    I haven't had sex in almost a month. And I'm married! You get married so you can be done with awkwardness and rejection .

    I am about to go the crazy.

    Youporn, Rosy, Mr. Rambone...be with me in my hour of need.
    Last edited by Dottie Rebel; 02-03-2008 at 06:20 PM.

  12. #12
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Sex? What is this sex that you speak of?

    *sigh* Its been too damn long. Im a born again virgin

    I want a big fat cock to fuck every hole in my body. I want to be fucked until im left in a quivering pile in the middle of the floor. I want to feel used and abused in all the right ways. I WANT A BIG FAT COCK!!!!

  13. #13
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    This thread is fucking hilarious!!!!!!!

  14. #14
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Quote Originally Posted by Callyish View Post
    Sex? What is this sex that you speak of?

    *sigh* Its been too damn long. Im a born again virgin

    I want a big fat cock to fuck every hole in my body. I want to be fucked until im left in a quivering pile in the middle of the floor. I want to feel used and abused in all the right ways. I WANT A BIG FAT COCK!!!!

    Yeah, I was a born again v word too ! Then I decided to go on a 2 month long dick fest, now I've seen the error of my ways and I'm back to pretending I'm a virgin, yet again..Farrah the virgin stripper, hmm somehow that doesn't quite fit !
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

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  15. #15
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    I know how ya feel.

    I wanna be thrown around like a rag doll and fucked in twenty positions at once for an hour straight. Please.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  16. #16
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    good for you girl on getting the sexins! Even if it wasn't 100% what you were hoping for.

    is this the job he moved you both up there for?

    but at least you're banking!

  17. #17
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    DUDE! I'm workin' on a YEAR long dry spell!! I'm beyond stir crazy! I've resorted to text sex! How sad for kitty.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  18. #18
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    is this the job he moved you both up there for?
    unfortunately, yes. now I am once again a sugar-momma



    Ah yes.... a moment of silence for those of us whose hymens have grown back....
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  19. #19
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Sex is what makes children (if your not using protection) and once you have them you never quite remember what sex was ever again... you go how did I get these kids and draw a blank...

    I want something hot and erotic... dam promotion come through.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  20. #20
    Veteran Member RebeccaSolidarity's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Um.

    Yes.

    Once June rolls around, it will have been two years.

    My friends are beginning to tell me that I seem "tense" as a result.

    Now.

    Now.

    Now.

    Is being laid down hard with a gratuitous amount of hair pulling really too much to ask for?

    It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.

    - Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog

  21. #21
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    ^^^Wow!
    Im not sure how log its been, probably not so long now I think about it but Im going to be the boring one and say I think Im going to embrace celibacy for a while. Since making progress with the raw food diet Ive suddenly become very fussy about what I put into my body! :-D

  22. #22
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Only primetime cock for Qwerty!

    Ever notice TOO only quotes us when we say dirty things? TOO's love for us is only vagina deep.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    I hate to admit it, but it's been FOREVER. We've both been ill and busy and cranky. And I was being weird for a bit there. Argh. I need sex. And possibly drugs. Or a Lush bath.

  24. #24
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    Quote Originally Posted by phillyvixen View Post
    ::Raises my hand::
    I miss sex too
    My husband hasn't even been TRYING! Which in some ways is a relief because sex hasn't felt good for a few months, and in some ways its a blow to my ego because i feel undesirable. He is good about telling me how sexy he finds me which helps. I still masturbate but its not the same... I WANT MY FUN KINKY UBER SATISFYING SEX LIFE BACK! And i still gotta wait 6 weeks after the baby is born. ::sigh::
    6 weeks?! Oh you poor poor thing. Nobody's told you that 6 weeks is like, when you medically CAN do it again MAYBE. But trust me, you probably won't want to for like, 6 MONTHS.

    I have no interest in penis these days. Just looking at one makes my vagina itch, and not in a good way. Sort of in a remembering what it was like to be all carefree and resenting my old self for being a stupid fuckdoll way. I'm so weird. Poor Jess.

  25. #25
    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Holler if it's been a while!

    I think it's been since the beginning of January. Or was it the end of December? FUCK! me please

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Lysondra, can I taste your Abortion?
    Quote Originally Posted by Snowles View Post
    BalletBaby + Alice in Chains >>> Pie.

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