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Thread: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    There were a few times recently that I, or someone I know, got annoyed about something that happened over Myspace. For example, a so-called "friend" that will promptly reject a Myspace friends request that you send to them. Or a so-called "friend" blocking you after you simply send him/her a friendly, nonthreatening "hi how are you" message. I noticed that when I sometimes talk about something like this, some people will typically respond, "But it's only Myspace. Get over it." I find this response to be rather trite and even condescending. Here's why.

    A diss involving Myspace is still a diss nonetheless. I believe that a diss via Myspace -- like any diss for that matter -- shouldn't be taken heavily to the point that it disturbs your whole life, but SHOULD be taken as an indication that this person is not a good friend. Take the hypothetical example of say, an old friend from my college days named "Clarence" rejecting my friends request + then blocking me after I send him a friendly "hello" message. It's not the fact that I'm not on his friends list that bothers me(I could care less about things like competing to see how many people I can get on my Myspace Friends List)...it's the idea that if I'm not "good enough" to be on something as "trite" as his Myspace friends list, then no way would this dude view me to be "good enough" to help me out when I'm in need, or to hang out with me, or to keep my trust, etc. I'm not asking for a million dollars here...I'm just inquiring if he will add me to a website that's already nonprivate, out in the open...so if he can't even do that, that shows a person that I shouldn't bother with, right? And if he blocks me?...that indicates that I'm either a "bother," he's avoiding me, or both. Doesn't say much about the person, does it! Look, the bottom line isn't about Myspace itself...it's about someone showing themselves to be rude/ignorant or not a real friend.

    This scenario doesn't just apply to Myspace...it can apply to AOL IM, or avoiding phone calls, or basically any other mode of communication. Sometimes Myspace is useful because -- like many things -- it can show peoples' true colors. So what's wrong with that logic? Also, anyone have a situation like this where they saw someone's true colors?

  2. #2
    zxcire
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    I hope the people that I rejected on myspace didn't get this obsessive over my actions.

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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Do you know you have a tendency to OBSESS? Over almost everything and refuse to let it go. Yea a dis is a dis but doesn't need thread after thread after helpful after helpful posts and you still obsessing over something that is out of your control. Its something so small as a friend request.....if he doesn't want to be your friend then fuck him. Go obsess over something that makes you happy.
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    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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  4. #4
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Maybe what they are trying to say is that people are not under obligations to be friends with you, on myspace or otherwise, just because you want to add them? And that doesn't really constitute a "diss" on their part?

    Look, philly - I say this with affection. You seem to have a serious entitlement problem regarding people and relationships. If people don't want to spend time with you or correspond with you, on myspace or real life, you need to learn to respect that without feeling victimized. We all experience not being like or wanted where we can't see a reason. It's part of life
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  5. #5
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    I turn down a lot of friend requests from people I don't feel negatively about, and I often "prune" my friends to weed out ones that I no longer really have anything in common with anymore. But if someone really needed my help and asked for it, I'd give it without hesitation, regardless of if they were on my friend's list or not. It really does not mean that much to me.

    Really. Why stress about this? I know who my real friends are. I don't let a computer rejection get me down.


  6. #6
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by zxcire View Post
    I hope the people that I rejected on myspace didn't get this obsessive over my actions.
    WTF? I'm NOT "obsessive" over rejection, but sometimes I wonder if I'm getting to the point of "obsessive" about explaining to people my logic and reasoning to people that clearly do not see my points...not just about this issue, but a LOT of issues.

    What I'm referring to in this thread isn't about rejecting some random person on the net(in that scenario, it's understandable and safer to reject strangers)...I'm referring to someone that you know very well, someone who claims to be a friend, but then wants to block all contact with you. Regardless of how unimportant the concept of Myspace might be, those kinds of cold actions should be used as a clear indicator that the person is a jerk/frenemy/whatever. And I'm not saying that you should obsess about the person being a jerk, just that it's not a bad idea to use a "Myspace diss" as good reason to not consider that person someone worth regarding highly, that's all.

  7. #7
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    I really don't care if its "trite" or "condescending".

    You obviously haven't gotten or truly took in the things all of us have said to you in the last few months.

    Get over it, move on, and stop obsessing. I guarantee once you can do this you will feel a truckload of stress be relieved as well as being much happier overall.

    Until you do this, there is nothing any of us can do to help you, since you don't seem to want to help yourself.

    The first step is to admit you have a problem...
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  8. #8
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982 View Post
    WTF? I'm NOT "obsessive" over rejection, but sometimes I wonder if I'm getting to the point of "obsessive" about explaining to people my logic and reasoning to people that clearly do not see my points...not just about this issue, but a LOT of issues.
    In ten years you are going to look back on this statement and go, "What the hell was I thinking?!?!"
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  9. #9
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Maybe what they are trying to say is that people are not under obligations to be friends with you, on myspace or otherwise, just because you want to add them? And that doesn't really constitute a "diss" on their part?

    Look, philly - I say this with affection. You seem to have a serious entitlement problem regarding people and relationships. If people don't want to spend time with you or correspond with you, on myspace or real life, you need to learn to respect that without feeling victimized. We all experience not being like or wanted where we can't see a reason. It's part of life
    I wasn't necessarily speaking about myself in this post(hence the scenario I described being HYPOTHETICAL), I was speaking about it in general.

    I'm not saying that I(or anybody for that matter) is "entitled" to forcing someone to be my friend, whether it's in Myspace or real life. As much as someone like "Clarence" has a right to reject my friends request, I too have a right to not think sweetly of him if he won't even do the smallest thing for me such as allow others to see that we're "friends" via his Myspace friends list. I'd be pretty stupid/naive to think highly of someone that obviously thinks so lowly of me, no? You cannot possibly deny that.

  10. #10
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Honestly, why in the fuck are we even discussing this?

    So you get offended a bit when people reject you on myspace. But honestly, a whole fucking thread dissecting the very nature of why it offends you? You think that isn't Obsessive? I want whatever alcohol you are having because, DAMN!
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  11. #11
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    You are correct. They are not your friends. Point is taken. I've had a few people I knew not accept my friend request on MySpace. Perhaps its because my profile is private and doesn't give out a lot of info. Or, they only want to add close friends. Or they don't like me, whatever. Yes, it may be an indicator that they aren't worth a frienship IRL. What else do you want to hear?

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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  12. #12
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by SundayMorning View Post
    I turn down a lot of friend requests from people I don't feel negatively about, and I often "prune" my friends to weed out ones that I no longer really have anything in common with anymore. But if someone really needed my help and asked for it, I'd give it without hesitation, regardless of if they were on my friend's list or not. It really does not mean that much to me.

    Really. Why stress about this? I know who my real friends are. I don't let a computer rejection get me down.
    And I'm not saying that you should get "let down" by a computer rejection. But what I *am* saying is that if Myspace is not such a big deal, then what's the big problem with accepting the person onto your friends list? Oh and PS, there is a difference between simply not getting around to approving friends request, or not taking the time out to fish out this person's site on Myspace and send them a request, versus blocking a person entirely. You "block" people (not just on Myspace, but in ANY form of communication) that you don't want to talk to, let alone hear if they need help or think about helping them.

    I'm seriously wondering if you guys are misinterpreting my post, the way my parents always misinterpreted my job goals growing up.

  13. #13
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Machismo View Post
    I really don't care if its "trite" or "condescending".

    You obviously haven't gotten or truly took in the things all of us have said to you in the last few months.

    Get over it, move on, and stop obsessing. I guarantee once you can do this you will feel a truckload of stress be relieved as well as being much happier overall.

    Until you do this, there is nothing any of us can do to help you, since you don't seem to want to help yourself.

    The first step is to admit you have a problem...
    Dude this isn't about me or that Leonardo Dicrappio look-alike "Jay" that I wrote about in my last thread. The only fucking reason I even wrote this goddam thread is because when my friends and I were discussing Myspace and things that people did that pissed us off before, I was thinking about the generalized, hypothetical concept that you can find out some important info about a person's true colors even from something as unimportant as Myspace.

    Perhaps YOU guys are obsessing. You guys perceive me a certain way, which in return slightly affects the way you perceive or interpret what I wrote here. I went through this kinda shit with my parents all the time while growing up.

  14. #14
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982 View Post
    And I'm not saying that you should get "let down" by a computer rejection. But what I *am* saying is that if Myspace is not such a big deal, then what's the big problem with accepting the person onto your friends list? Oh and PS, there is a difference between simply not getting around to approving friends request, or not taking the time out to fish out this person's site on Myspace and send them a request, versus blocking a person entirely. You "block" people (not just on Myspace, but in ANY form of communication) that you don't want to talk to, let alone hear if they need help or think about helping them.

    I'm seriously wondering if you guys are misinterpreting my post, the way my parents always misinterpreted my job goals growing up.
    We are not misinterpreting anything. You are dissecting shit that doesn't need to be dissected. If you are getting this into the ins and outs of myspace friendship and rejection I seriously question your maturity level. As Katrine said: what else do you want to hear?

    Seriously why in the hell are you obsessing over this? I cannot fathom what is going through your head that drives you to keep thinking this is worth talking about or relative to anything anywhere near important.

    On that note, I have to get out of this thread, or else I might get a migraine.

    Good luck with finding the answer(s) you seek.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  15. #15
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Machismo View Post
    In ten years you are going to look back on this statement and go, "What the hell was I thinking?!?!"
    WTF? It's wrong for me to try and stand up for myself? To explain things when I'm convinced that people are misinterpreting it? God I thought the misinterpretation shit ended when I moved out of my parents' house, dumped(and later sued) the emotionally abusive pathological liar ex, and stopped listening to customers who were mistaken about who I was as a person(after all, how can they tell me what kinda person I am when they don't know me??).

  16. #16
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Let's all stop fueling the fire, shall we?

  17. #17
    Veteran Member MixedBabe88's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Good lord, when did so many people here become so bitchtastic?
    Srsly. What the hell?

  18. #18
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Machismo View Post
    I want whatever alcohol you are having because, DAMN!
    I'm going to quote my friend M--k here...No I'm not drunk, but I should be since I have to deal with you. *slams door*

  19. #19
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    You are correct. They are not your friends. Point is taken. I've had a few people I knew not accept my friend request on MySpace. Perhaps its because my profile is private and doesn't give out a lot of info. Or, they only want to add close friends. Or they don't like me, whatever. Yes, it may be an indicator that they aren't worth a frienship IRL. What else do you want to hear?
    That's pretty much it. That's all I was trying to say. Simple as that. You actually bring up a valid point when you say that some people might see a private site with not much info on it and consider it "shady"/uncertain, thus rejecting it. I think this applies more to acquaintences than people that know full well who you are(e.g., relatives or people that knew you while growing up). I'm just tired of people saying, "Geez, you must be sooooo obsessive if you are going make a conclusion on how Clarence views your friendship with him in part because of something like Myspace!"

  20. #20
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by MixedBabe88 View Post
    Good lord, when did so many people here become so bitchtastic?
    Srsly. What the hell?
    They became so bitchtastic after someone shoved a giant STICK up their ASS apparently.

    I agree with you MissBabe. Don't worry, MissBabe, I'm not going to let them talk to me that way. I can be a bitch too. One of my recent posts has a very subtle, passive-aggressive bitchy tone to another SWer that has been rather catty to me(in an equally subtle way) for a long time now.

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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    People are just trying to be helpful since this is the 3rd novel thread about you obsessing over something that you cannot control. People are trying to help you. You were asking advice and they gave it to you. Sorry not everyone would agree with you. If you want to view you're a victim of a bitchfest then fine....wallow in it. Its all your choice to.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  22. #22
    Tauries
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    This whole affair reminds me of (Hit restart in upper left corner )

  23. #23
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    People are just trying to be helpful since this is the 3rd novel thread about you obsessing over something that you cannot control. People are trying to help you. You were asking advice and they gave it to you. Sorry not everyone would agree with you.
    Well, let me be assertive here: If people want to be helpful, then they can explain things straightforwardly like Jenny did, without using useless, insulting phrases such as "Maaaaaan you obsessssssssss muuuuuuuch" or "What alcohol are you drunk on?" Those kinds of phrases are going to do nothing more than exasperate or anger the person that they're being said to. Just for the record.

    Now the reason why I complain about something I can't control, is because if I were able to control it, I would, and then it would no longer be a problem worth complaining about. Complaining is a way to vent, and that's what websites are good for, no?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you want to view you're a victim of a bitchfest then fine....wallow in it. Its all your choice to.
    I'm not the one who suggested it was a "bitchfest"...someone else did. I just went along with what she said in an effort to "gang up" against everyone else on SW in the same way that people on SW tend to gang up against individual posters(not just me, but other people too...and I'm not saying that YOU necessarily do it, but some others definitely do). I never used the word "victim" either. Please do not put words in my mouth.

  24. #24
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982 View Post
    I wasn't necessarily speaking about myself in this post(hence the scenario I described being HYPOTHETICAL), I was speaking about it in general.
    Okay. You understand, I'm sure, why everyone might find that hard to believe considering that on your myspace thread you just complained that people aren't bitching about the other guy enough, and instead focusing on what you can do to control your own life.

    I'm not saying that I(or anybody for that matter) is "entitled" to forcing someone to be my friend, whether it's in Myspace or real life. As much as someone like "Clarence" has a right to reject my friends request, I too have a right to not think sweetly of him if he won't even do the smallest thing for me such as allow others to see that we're "friends" via his Myspace friends list. I'd be pretty stupid/naive to think highly of someone that obviously thinks so lowly of me, no? You cannot possibly deny that.
    See, here's the thing. It has nothing to do with what you think of anyone. I'm not telling you what to think about some guy I don't know. I'm telling that that there is no "diss" there. That nobody is doing anything to you. I don't see why you want to go around having confrontations and making enemies out of everyone who just doesn't want to be your friend. It is not a diss or an offensive act. It is just some guy who doesn't like you. You are not a victim of everyone who doesn't like you. You need to look around the world and realize that friendship and love is a gift that nobody owes you and stop feeling so entitled.

    I agree with you MissBabe. Don't worry, MissBabe, I'm not going to let them talk to me that way. I can be a bitch too. One of my recent posts has a very subtle, passive-aggressive bitchy tone to another SWer that has been rather catty to me(in an equally subtle way) for a long time now.
    Okay, see, I'm not sure if you need to be told this... being a bitch is not a talent or special ability. Anyone can do it. Being passive aggressive and bitchy is not a talent or ability. Anyone can do it. Rather than taking pride in being able to avail of yourself of fairly common and banal human unpleasantness you should consider the content of what you are saying and what is said to you.


    XOXO
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  25. #25
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    Default Re: "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda

    It's life...not everybody is going to like you. It's happened to everybody. Nothing can be gained from getting upset over something like that, so why don't you just let it go?

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