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Thread: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

  1. #1
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    I'm meeting a hot guy off the internets and I am so horny and want to fuck him oh so much.

    What I've done so far:
    unshaven
    dirty dishes
    havn't cleaned up the cat poop in the garage
    Masterbated and orgasmed twice..sooooo good too (I must be ovulating or something)

    What else can I do? I'm about to clean up around the house and shave my junk.

    Heeeeeelp!! Make it stop, I can't fuck this guy the night I meet him! Not another one again.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Think about baseball??

  3. #3
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Put all your sexy panties in the catbox so all you have is the oversized ugly ones.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  4. #4
    Veteran Member blayze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    ^ but then she just won't wear any! which could just make the situation worse...

    i know that didnt help.

    my suggestion: make plans with a friend for immediately after your date. then you have a reason to cut it short if you need one, and also your bud can help you say no too.

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    Screw you, I'm not running a vaginal charity here.
    If God would have meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    http://www.myspace.com/natalielyanh


  5. #5
    Featured Member Lunarobverse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    I had to double-check to make sure this wasn't posted in "Ladies Only".

    This is officially my favorite new thread of the day. OK, second favorite, after Gypsy's first photo shoot.

    Snark aside... Not sure the guy will care about the mess in the house. Anything else I can think of to suggest for you might actually turn him on more (like mentioning you're on your period, or leaving a bunch of stuffed animals on your bed (man, I've got a scary story about a woman in her 30s who had stuffed animals on her bed - another time, though)). I mean, there's a kink for everything.

    And it seems like a forgone conclusion - if you're the one that's horny, that leaves you the one in control of whether or not it happens, right? Or am I being naive?
    Visit my home on the internets:

    Lunar Obverse

    Where I talk about strip clubs, atheism, computers, and whatever else I wanna.

  6. #6
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lunarobverse View Post

    And it seems like a forgone conclusion - if you're the one that's horny, that leaves you the one in control of whether or not it happens, right? Or am I being naive?
    Of course I'm in control of whether or not it happens. And I want it NOT to happen. Boys have a tendency to lose interest when you sleep with them too quickly. Don't ask me, I didn't make up these rules, just the way it is.

    I'm keeping the house messy, but I want to look nice. I will check thread before I leave. Need more feedback!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  7. #7
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Get vag. yeast infection cream and squirt it in..then wear a pad for leakage. You wont want to show him THAT!

  8. #8
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    ^^Now that's brilliant.

  9. #9
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    ^^Naw, that's more than brilliant. It's fuckin' genius!

  10. #10
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    mmm, very very good one!

  11. #11
    Featured Member Lunarobverse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Ah! I misunderstood what Katrine was asking.

    I thought she wanted tips that would make the guy not want to sleep with her.

    So now I see that he wants to go out with him but not sleep with him. She wants tips on how to talk herself out of sleeping with him.

    Hmmm... tricky.
    Visit my home on the internets:

    Lunar Obverse

    Where I talk about strip clubs, atheism, computers, and whatever else I wanna.

  12. #12
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Put a cork in it, Katrine! Honestly I got nothing...but I'll be praying for your chastity!


  13. #13
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Get vag. yeast infection cream and squirt it in..then wear a pad for leakage. You wont want to show him THAT!
    Ugh. Ewwwwwwww... that's a great idea.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  14. #14
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Have your friends do an intervention!

    My friend was extremely horny, but really liked this guy, sos he begged us to help her. While she was on her date, the rest of us (we had 4 girls staying in a townhouse) ran amuck. We left condoms and ripped up wrappers all over her bed, jumbo tampax on her nightstand, vagiisil on the counter...we took pictures and sent them to her cell phone, so she KNEW there was no way she could bring him back to her place then, and she felt skanky going to his, so mission accomplished.

  15. #15
    Featured Member Lunarobverse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Have her friends show up on the date!
    Visit my home on the internets:

    Lunar Obverse

    Where I talk about strip clubs, atheism, computers, and whatever else I wanna.

  16. #16
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Plan an hour of dumbtarded or boring entertainment. Put scarves on your cats & call them BabushkaCats. Turn the TV to CNN. Badger him about his awareness of the importance of financial planning.

    I always like to see if I can weird a guy out OR ferret out something I might not like about him...Which shows why I didn't get laid for a year and a half.

  17. #17
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Have a fuckbuddy waiting for you when you get home

    Feature costumes for sale!

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Cam's suggestion is good... but I'm not one to ask. If I want sex, I have sex! Why not just fuck him if you're horny and you want to?

  19. #19
    Featured Member Lunarobverse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    I get the impression she really really really really likes him and doesn't want to scare him off.
    Visit my home on the internets:

    Lunar Obverse

    Where I talk about strip clubs, atheism, computers, and whatever else I wanna.

  20. #20
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Give me a call. I can bore anyone to sleep.

  21. #21
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    yeast cream vote

  22. #22
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Talk about love and having children.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  23. #23
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback View Post
    Talk about love and having children.
    She wants to stave him off for the night, not have him running in the other direction shrieking his head off!
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  24. #24
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback View Post
    Talk about love and having children.
    Mental-Erase!


    Teehee every man thinks they are so big and bad, like Scott Beio

  25. #25
    Veteran Member
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    Default Re: Help! Emergency! How do I NOT have sex?

    Damn, I wish I was Katrine's guy. *sob*

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