
Originally Posted by
The Other Owner
It's not the words you choose that count. It's the impact of the words on him. The story is designed to unfold in his mind and world.
I'm going to disagree with a few things said in the thread.
I am assuming you are writing erotica, rather than a personal romantic story. The rules for the latter are different.
OK, for erotica:
First, don't use the words for vagina he already uses. One of the purposes of erotica is to create an erotic, unfamiliar, exciting reality. You do that by creating a scene or story that hits his triggers, but does it by creating a world that is dirtier, nastier, hotter than he's used to. You want to use the words he's too timid to use, or thinks you might find objective or offensive. But since you are using them, that makes it doubly hot to him.
So your dirtier/hotter choices are better: twat, pussy, cunt, fuckhole, etc. But in the body of the story, you don't actually use the words a lot -- you may use one or two to set a paragraph, then use suggestion, positioning or a softer word when you are in the action:
Let's say you are describing how you like it when he goes down on you.
"When I feel the force of your full body on top of mine, faces so close we kiss, or nuzzle, or I softly sense the scent of sweat, or hair or skin from your body, I relax and smile, so happy to have you with me, me holding you in my arms. But I quickly stiffen when I feel you slowly slide down my body, arms caressing my sides, your face kissing my tits, licking my nipples, your right hand swiftly sliding between my legs and pressing firmly against my wet pussy, while your face remains over my chest, your tongue exploring my nipples softly at first, and then harder, then lightly biting them. You press the palm of your hand between my legs hard against my mound and hold it there, and I raise my back to push against you, and then your fingers start to play with me, tease me, flicking back and forth over my lips, one finger, then two, just barely sliding in. You bring your face over my belly and kiss it so gently, then begin to lick down my stomach, slowly, moving down to where your hand is now caressing me. Your tongue slides easily over my clit, where you stop and press your full tongue against it so I can feel it, and I moan with pleasure as your soft, wet tongue slides over my clit, making it disappear completely.
You bring your tongue up firmly against my clit and suddenly push my entire body up hard on the bed, so quickly I almost hit my head, and I spread my arms out just so I don't fall off the bed. I look down and you are kneeling, holding me up with one arm around the waist, the other hand playing with my twat, your tongue flicking furiously over my clit, as I collapse, moaning and running my hands over your broad shoulders, then down to your arms where I caress them as you are licking me. I lift my head off the pillow to watch you licking me, long strokes, over and over, and I can barely hold my head up any more and then suddenly you slide two fingers into my dripping snatch, arched up, pulling me even closer. I groan and whisper, "finger-fuck my cunt, hard," and instantly you start thrusting both fingers in and out, finger-fucking me with such force I can't move and now finally my head just collapses on the pillow, my mouth wide open with nothing coming out at all but my rapid breathing. "Fucking harder," I say, gasping for breath as I feel your fingers ramming into me, banging up against my softest spots, with your mouth pressing down from above, tongue licking my clit long and hard and persistently and deliberately and constantly, over and over, for what seems like forever, and I hear the pounding of your fingers and feel them deep inside me and slapping against me, and then I feel it build, just slightly, so I push my pussy harder against you and close my eyes and then suddenly it rises so quickly, so fucking fast I wasn't prepared for it, and I grab your hair with both hands but then it plateaus, with my mouth frozen open, and so you pick up speed, your fingers a fucking blur of thrusting, and I break through the plateau and peak so fucking hard I bang away three more times, so fast and intense and explosive that this endless fucking scream erupts from my throat, my body shaking, and I grab your hair and push you away, "No, no, stop, it's too much," because I'm overwhelmed by these rolling orgasms that have control of my body and I've become so sensitive that I need some space. So you slide up, wrap your full body around me and hold me as I'm shaking, almost unable to even feel my legs, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe, trying to think, trying to remember where I am, and so happy that you are here with me, finally, in my arms, where I will never let you go.
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