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Thread: Sex issues....help!

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Sex issues....help!

    Okay, I've always been really bad at giving head. My problems are jaw fatigue, gagging and scraping teeth. (I can see the men shivering now) I've always been able to take deep, hard penetration from pretty big guys (I'm talking 11-12", NO exaggeration) but for some reason, the guy I sleep with now (6"), when he penetrates me deeply, it's unbearable pain in my hip. It literally feels like someone is chipping away at my right hip bone. I usually have to stop him because it hurts so badly and of course, he gets pissed. Also, anal sex, I can deal with the pain, but is there anything that can be done about that "I'm taking a shit" feeling? Also, will Anal ease numb his penis?I thought i'd better organize my questions:1- What can I do to prevent jaw fatigue/gagging/scraping teeth on penis?2- Why do you think deep penetration with his smaller penis hurts so badly and what can I do to ease the pain?3- How can I prevent that "taking a shit" feeling during anal?4 Will anal ease numb his penis?Thanks ladies and gents! I know it's kinda TMI, but I had no one else to ask.
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    You might ask your doc about that pain during sex. If he's not your biggest, and he's not trying scary angles and positions, it could be something inside you causing the pain.
    When giving a blowjob, cover your teeth with your lips to prevent scraping, and try to loosen your jaw so you don't bite down. And to prevent jaw fatigue, use your hands. In fact, I always use my hands, even when my mouth is involved. I don't know how to describe this in a classy way, so forgive my language: Jack him off with your hand while you're sucking on the head. Use a lot of tongue, so there's no lack of lubrication and he doesn't feel any discomfort from too much friction.
    As for anal sex, if you don't like it, I don't know why you're doing it. I don't know how to stop that 'gotta take a shit' feeling, I always get that.

  3. #3
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    24 posts total and you've already started seven threads?

    You're coming off as somewhat trollish. Particularly considering you're starting threads about sex, butt pimples, needing to gain weight, etc. I'm not saying you ARE a troll, but people will start to assume that is the case if you don't tone it down a bit and maybe--I dunno--respond to more than one or two threads that aren't your own.

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    What is a troll? And I was under the impression that this was a place that people come to for advice. What's wrong with the topics that I need advice on? What would be acceptable topics to ask about? I'm just not understanding the issue. You ask questions to get advice from people who would know and who are offering their advice to you and people will think suspiciously of me for doing so? Maybe it's because I don't know what a troll is.
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Chill out, she's just trying to explain to you that this is a community. Most of the women in the community are interested in both giving and receiving support, so maybe it would be better if you did some searches and added to other threads before starting 3649871 of your own threads.

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    I'm not upset, I'm just a little confused. I've posted in other threads too; but a lot of the questions that are asked, I'm not experienced enough to answer yet. So I just read and learn as the vets respond. I'm not on here attacking people, or starting stupid threads or doing anything wrong; I just had a few questions that I needed help with. Maybe from now on I'll just keep my mouth shut and figure it out on my own. *smh*
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

  7. #7
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    No, babe, it's okay. I wasn't trying to attack you.

    What happens, is sometimes we have men coming on to the site pretending to be women to give us a hard time. They often post a lot of sex threads, etc., just being jerks. I don't want people to write you off for that very reason.

    I don't think you're a troll. If I did, I would have probably just said something cruel and left it at that. Because I think your intentions are good, I just wanted to warn you...All in your best interests, I promise.

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Oh wow. I had no idea. Now I see where u r coming from. I apologize. I had no clue what a troll was and that stuff like that even occured. I really thought I was being attacked for the type of questions I had and for having too many questions. I will tone it down from now on. Thanks ladies! (probably the best advice I've gotten yet)
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    I WAS going to give some advice but after reading through this thread I decided to make a bitch instead. Why is it that everytime a new member comes onto this board asking for advice, people go right for their throat and attack them?? Seriously! This is suppose to be a place where people come to relax and ask these sorts of questions. If someone has less than desired post counts, some people on here are complete jerks. What the hell?? Can't we just answer the OP's question rather than automatically calling them out?? This is just as of lately. When I first joined this board I had a million questions and I posted a few threads right away myself. I didn't know any better but I learned. So will every other new member. So let's back off guys.


    ANYWAYS, PCQ, gave very good advice. Just use alot of hand motion and saliva and yes cover those teeth with your lips!!

  10. #10
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    ^^I'm pretty sure I made it completely clear that I wasn't attacking her. No need to jump down my throat about it. In fact, the only reason I posted was because I knew that eventually the term "troll" would be thrown around and I didn't think she was one. So why don't you save your bitching for someone who uses a "troll" smiley and tells her to eff off without the slightest care in the world instead?

    And it wasn't about a less-than-desired post count...It was about that, combined with many new threads, combined with controversial/sexual topics...That's not a hard assumption to make.

    Anyway, sparkleeyz, I hope you've gotten some good advice and that you enjoy the board as much as I do. And there was absolutely no need to apologize--I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you. I'd just like for you to stick around and not get chased away like so many other newbies probaby do!

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    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by sparkleeyz View Post
    1- What can I do to prevent jaw fatigue/gagging/scraping teeth on penis?2- Why do you think deep penetration with his smaller penis hurts so badly and what can I do to ease the pain?3- How can I prevent that "taking a shit" feeling during anal?4 Will anal ease numb his penis?Thanks ladies and gents! I know it's kinda TMI, but I had no one else to ask.
    Hi sparkleeyz!

    1.) I deal with all of these things too. Practice really, really helps, especially with jaw fatigue--the more you're doing it, the more your jaw muscles work out and get stronger. As far as gagging, in voice lessons they teach you to "lift your soft palate," which is the top and back of your mouth. Open the inside of your mouth really big like you're yawning. That's lifting your soft palate. By doing that and keeping your tongue flattened down, a lot of the gagging is alleviated. Scraping teeth, PCQ covered very nicely. Lips over teeth. Harder to do on thick cocks but still possible!

    2.) I agree with PCQ again on this one. It may be that something has changed in you; if you don't have a gyno appt coming up, you may think about making one to check you out and make sure everything is operating normal in there. Do you have the same problem with dildos? Is his penis curved? Does this just happen in certain positions? Examine the info and see a professional if it's just not adding up.

    3/4.) Finally, anal. Yes anal ease will numb him too. All you really need is lube, foreplay, and an attentive partner. The very best advice I have for anyone who's trying but not really enjoying anal is DO SOMETHING ELSE. I don't mean stop doing anal, but rather do something at the same time to take your mind off the pain--or even better, make the pain do that magical switch into pleasure. For me, if I'm getting buttbusted, I find that playing with my clit totally changes the ugggggh owwwww into ooooooooh aaaahhhh. Are you giving yourself enough good feelings? It makes a world of difference.

    Hope this helps! (It certainly revitalized my desire to be a sex therapist, that's for sure!)


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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by stellaforstars View Post
    ^^I'm pretty sure I made it completely clear that I wasn't attacking her. No need to jump down my throat about it. In fact, the only reason I posted was because I knew that eventually the term "troll" would be thrown around and I didn't think she was one. So why don't you save your bitching for someone who uses a "troll" smiley and tells her to eff off without the slightest care in the world instead?

    And it wasn't about a less-than-desired post count...It was about that, combined with many new threads, combined with controversial/sexual topics...That's not a hard assumption to make.

    Anyway, sparkleeyz, I hope you've gotten some good advice and that you enjoy the board as much as I do. And there was absolutely no need to apologize--I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you. I'd just like for you to stick around and not get chased away like so many other newbies probaby do!


    I know you're not one to throw that word around Stella, so I apologize for making it sound as though I were calling you out specifically. Just so many girls do attack these newbies and I hate it. People with real problems come for advice and some of the people on this board chase them out right away. If these newbies start arguments or drama, then chase them out. But if they happen to ask a question with bad spelling, leave them alone!

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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    OK...I'm a guy (and I never pretend to be a girl), but I may be able to make a suggestion about the pain from your man. Are you using condoms?

    My partner is poly, and she noticed that she was getting a lot of pain from her other partner, but not from me. She thought it might be latex allergy, since she uses condoms with him, but not with me (we're fluid-bonded). We finally came to the conclusion that the problem was that she was using unlubricated condoms, and was not adding any lube, and was not moist enough by herself. So it wasn't latex allergy as much as it was friction burns from the dry latex.

    Could the problem be something like that?

    Be well...

    Lynn

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyCurlieQ View Post
    You might ask your doc about that pain during sex. If he's not your biggest, and he's not trying scary angles and positions, it could be something inside you causing the pain.
    When giving a blowjob, cover your teeth with your lips to prevent scraping, and try to loosen your jaw so you don't bite down. And to prevent jaw fatigue, use your hands. In fact, I always use my hands, even when my mouth is involved. I don't know how to describe this in a classy way, so forgive my language: Jack him off with your hand while you're sucking on the head. Use a lot of tongue, so there's no lack of lubrication and he doesn't feel any discomfort from too much friction.
    As for anal sex, if you don't like it, I don't know why you're doing it. I don't know how to stop that 'gotta take a shit' feeling, I always get that.
    Thanks for the advice! I will try to keep my lips over my teeth. And definately use my hands. I don't mind anal, just don't like that feeling. LOL does that make sense? I'm going to go to the dr this weekend to make sure everything is okay. Thanks again!
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by SundayMorning View Post
    Hi sparkleeyz!

    1.) I deal with all of these things too. Practice really, really helps, especially with jaw fatigue--the more you're doing it, the more your jaw muscles work out and get stronger. As far as gagging, in voice lessons they teach you to "lift your soft palate," which is the top and back of your mouth. Open the inside of your mouth really big like you're yawning. That's lifting your soft palate. By doing that and keeping your tongue flattened down, a lot of the gagging is alleviated. Scraping teeth, PCQ covered very nicely. Lips over teeth. Harder to do on thick cocks but still possible!

    2.) I agree with PCQ again on this one. It may be that something has changed in you; if you don't have a gyno appt coming up, you may think about making one to check you out and make sure everything is operating normal in there. Do you have the same problem with dildos? Is his penis curved? Does this just happen in certain positions? Examine the info and see a professional if it's just not adding up.

    3/4.) Finally, anal. Yes anal ease will numb him too. All you really need is lube, foreplay, and an attentive partner. The very best advice I have for anyone who's trying but not really enjoying anal is DO SOMETHING ELSE. I don't mean stop doing anal, but rather do something at the same time to take your mind off the pain--or even better, make the pain do that magical switch into pleasure. For me, if I'm getting buttbusted, I find that playing with my clit totally changes the ugggggh owwwww into ooooooooh aaaahhhh. Are you giving yourself enough good feelings? It makes a world of difference.

    Hope this helps! (It certainly revitalized my desire to be a sex therapist, that's for sure!)

    Thanks Sunday. LOL @ the bolded comment. I will definately try distracting myself during anal. And lifting the soft palate; I'll practice that.
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    I know you're not one to throw that word around Stella, so I apologize for making it sound as though I were calling you out specifically. Just so many girls do attack these newbies and I hate it. People with real problems come for advice and some of the people on this board chase them out right away. If these newbies start arguments or drama, then chase them out. But if they happen to ask a question with bad spelling, leave them alone!
    Thanks for defending the newbies kaia.
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by stellaforstars View Post
    ^^I'm pretty sure I made it completely clear that I wasn't attacking her. No need to jump down my throat about it. In fact, the only reason I posted was because I knew that eventually the term "troll" would be thrown around and I didn't think she was one. So why don't you save your bitching for someone who uses a "troll" smiley and tells her to eff off without the slightest care in the world instead?

    And it wasn't about a less-than-desired post count...It was about that, combined with many new threads, combined with controversial/sexual topics...That's not a hard assumption to make.

    Anyway, sparkleeyz, I hope you've gotten some good advice and that you enjoy the board as much as I do. And there was absolutely no need to apologize--I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you. I'd just like for you to stick around and not get chased away like so many other newbies probaby do!
    No worries Stella! It was just a misunderstanding. I realize you were just looking out for me. I do enjoy the boards and now I'm all the wiser thanks to u.
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by lgrant98001 View Post
    OK...I'm a guy (and I never pretend to be a girl), but I may be able to make a suggestion about the pain from your man. Are you using condoms?

    My partner is poly, and she noticed that she was getting a lot of pain from her other partner, but not from me. She thought it might be latex allergy, since she uses condoms with him, but not with me (we're fluid-bonded). We finally came to the conclusion that the problem was that she was using unlubricated condoms, and was not adding any lube, and was not moist enough by herself. So it wasn't latex allergy as much as it was friction burns from the dry latex.

    Could the problem be something like that?

    Be well...

    Lynn
    That actually may be a factor. I have a latex allergy, so I use polyurethane condoms. I always need extra lube but rarely remember to bring any. Thanks!
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    Quote Originally Posted by sparkleeyz View Post
    I usually have to stop him because it hurts so badly and of course, he gets pissed.
    A little off topic, but I think there is something wrong here. Your guy should be glad he's getting some pussy in the first place, what right does he have to get pissed when he's hurting you? If he puts his own dick ahead of you and your feelings, he's a big asshole.

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    Default Re: Sex issues....help!

    About the head, something that I like to do to keep things interesting and cut fatigue is switch positions periodically. Eg. start off blowing him standing, then when you tire have him sit/lie down, and when you tire there do it with both of you lying on your sides (BONUS: he can do most of the work in this position BTW, pillow under head highly recommended though).

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