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Thread: You had me at "Hello"

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    You had me at "Hello"

    So I have a really simple question but sometimes the most simplest things are the most important.

    When you approach a customer, do you smile, sit down and say, "Hi, my name is so and so, how are you?"

    Or do you just say hi and ask how they are doing and wait for them to introduce themselves so you can introduce yourself?

    Do you even ask how are you, or do you have a better way of starting a conversation?

    I love dancing and giving the guy a good time, the guys love me when I dance for them, but I find the hard part is finding something to say to them before asking for a dance!

    I want to gain rapport but Im not sure how and for me, it starts at "Hello". And then what?
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    Veteran Member oregonchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    I find the best thing to do after introductions is to get the customer to talk about themselves. Of course, you have to seem interested and sympathetic to their needs. If they think you care about their issues they are more likely to spend money on you.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Like, where are you from, what do you do?

    I know, what do you like to do for fun?

    But I also want to be asking questions that steer the conversation in the right direction.

    Im great at dancing, but I just dont know what to SAY to the guys sometimes!
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    i've noticed that when i say" are you having fun" or "are you having a good time tonight" it never works out for some reason. some guys are like "what's that supposed to mean" i don't know. One good thing i've found to make small talk about after intros is their job. guys often like to talk about work, plus it's a good way to gage how much money they have.

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    I am always touching them on the arm, leg, shoulder when talking.

    Are you and your buddies out for a special occasion?
    This leads to, "yeah, you gotta dance for ______ b/c its his birthday, I am paying!"
    "Great, You have got to let me dance for you later!"

    Hi, I'm Sapphire, what's your name , sexy?
    Next you can insert a real compliment if you wish, something true.
    Then, "I would love to dance for you on the next song."

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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    "Hi, how are you?"

    "Good."

    "Mmm, you look good, what's your name?"

    "Tom."

    "Tom, it's great to meet you, I'm ___. Wow, I love you're eyes, Tom, they're like water..."

    "Really? You have nice eyes too. Hey, does anyone ever tell you you have a nice rack?"

    "It's even nicer when I'm in your lap."



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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    For some reason I have a higher lapdance hit-rate when the guy ends up asking ME what my name is....because I HAVEN'T started off the conversation with the normal, " Hi, I'm _____, and you?"...I just kind of approach them, invade their personal space a bit by getting a little closer than one would in a normal social situation, grin mischievously, and say "Hey...:" and launch right in with random bs or talk to them in the same way I would with a guy I thought was hot at a bar, being flirty and coy..

    In my home club, the clientele is either decidedly professional or blue-collar, with little in-between. The blue-collar guys probably appreciate the escapism of being approached in an anonymous fashion by a hot girl where they're not expected to follow the normal social customs of, "intro, how do you do, what do you do, where do you live" which they may shy away from in regular settings with anyway.......

    The professional men see the lack of interest in who they are as a challenge....They are always the first to open up to their profession and all the status-y things about themselves unprovoked. So the fact that you don't seem to care either way makes them want to impress you.

    This may work only in that particular club, but I'd be interested to see if other dancers have had a similar outcome with avoiding invasive questions and normal social protocol...even one as seemingly non-assuming as "Hello, how are you? I'm _____, and you?"
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    I start with "Hi, are you having a good night? ... me too, my name is Julia. What is your name?" then if I get a good vibe "you don't mind if I sit, do you?" If I get a cheap/uninterested vibe I'll say "nice to meet you, I'm glad you're having a good night. See you later" and then I move on knowing that I can always go back later.

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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dazied666 View Post
    i've noticed that when i say" are you having fun" or "are you having a good time tonight" it never works out for some reason. some guys are like "what's that supposed to mean" i don't know. One good thing i've found to make small talk about after intros is their job. guys often like to talk about work, plus it's a good way to gage how much money they have.
    I totally disagree. Guys often see right through that, that you are trying to figure out how much money they have. And guys mostly come to the club to get away from work/family, ect.

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    Veteran Member Fionaver's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Hey! How're you tonight?
    ...
    So what's your name?
    ...
    My name is ______. What brings you here tonight?

    You can get an idea of whether they're there to hang out with their friends, get over a fight with their girlfriend, or are just passing thru town - he''l give you a lead. Take the conversation on from there.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    hmm, yeah, thats usually what i say, but it just seems boring and as if i dont know how to start a convo... i thought the girls who earn big money started a different way?
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Veteran Member Fionaver's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Yeah... Never was a huge money maker....

    Worked well though. Better than "Wanna Dance?" at least. Really, it was about trying to find something that we had in common, so that I could create the impression of intimacy with the customer. Telling little things that aren't really personal, but are from your real life, also seem to help.

    Like "Oh, you're from Chicago! We went there in high school on a field trip" or "I thought about going to college there!" or something just to get talking before the "So, can I talk you into a dance tonight?" bit. Just be flirty and close while you do it. Body language talks just as loudly as words.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    hmm, yeah, thats usually what i say, but it just seems boring
    Remember, even though it's the umpteenth time you've had this conversation that night, it's the FISRT time you've had that conversation with this particular customer. Just because you're bored with it doesn't mean he is. Although if you come across as bored with the conversation, most guys will pick up on that. I find that when I'm really trying to make a connection with a customer, I'm not bored by the conversation, even if I've asked the same questions and given the same answers a million times before.

    I don't think having a flashy pick-up line works nearly as well as showing genuine interest in the guy you're talking to. You don't show that interest by talking as much as by body language and eye contact that show you're actively listening. Everybody wants to be listened to. Guys in clubs want it bad enough to pay for it.

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    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dazied666 View Post
    . One good thing i've found to make small talk about after intros is their job. guys often like to talk about work, plus it's a good way to gage how much money they have.
    I'd be careful with this one. Alot of men will get offended if you ask about their line of work right away. They know that you are digging for info regarding their income, trying to determine the money potential there. Best bet? Let him bring it up.
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Sorry NewMoon, I basically said the exact same thing you did...should have read all replies first.
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    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Usually, I take a seat next to the man to be hustled while he's not looking, and pretend to be watching the stage with him. Then when he looks my way, I pretend Im seeing him for the first time, and say:

    "Oh! Hello!" and smile.

    Ofcourse they know its a ruse, but it helps me project fun and a feeling of carefree. Usually it elicits a laugh or a smile.

    Then after introductions usually I start asking them where they are from, following with, "Oh, I dont know where that is, Im from Iceland" which sparks interest in them but still gives them fodder to talk about themselves.

    Works for me.
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    Member Dazied666's Avatar
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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Let me clarify. I'm not advising anyone to walk up to a custy and say "what do you do for a living?".Duh. 21st centuryfox asked about building a raport with a customer before asking for a dance, and after the basic "hi, how are you doing ?" routine there is only so much to bullshit about. I've found many customers ask me about my job, and aside from explaining how much dances cost, sometimes they ask other work related questions, and eventually, I want to steer the convo away from myself and focus my attention on them. more often than not, men like to talk about their job, ecspecially if they have a good one and want to impress you. If you do it right, it seems like you are interested in them and their lives. They like that.

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    Default Re: You had me at "Hello"

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    So I have a really simple question...I love dancing and giving the guy a good time, the guys love me when I dance for them, but I find the hard part is finding something to say to them before asking for a dance!

    I want to gain rapport but Im not sure how and for me, it starts at "Hello". And then what?
    FWIW, a male viewpoint. (Or to be more precise mine, which may differ from someone elses).

    The best way of gaining rapport, selling a dance or whatever is going to vary from customer to customer. We'll come into a strip venue seeking different things, and therefore what works on one customer may not work on another.

    What probably is comon from one customer to another is the hope that they're spending their money on someone who sees them as a likeable person, not just as a source of income.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Remember, even though it's the umpteenth time you've had this conversation that night, it's the FIRST time you've had that conversation with this particular customer. Just because you're bored with it doesn't mean he is. Although if you come across as bored with the conversation, most guys will pick up on that....

    I don't think having a flashy pick-up line works nearly as well as showing genuine interest in the guy you're talking to....Guys in clubs want it bad enough to pay for it.
    Quote Originally Posted by oregonchick View Post
    ...you have to seem interested and sympathetic to their needs. If they think you care about their issues they are more likely to spend money on you.
    Both of which coments are perceptive. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

    Sitting down, making eye contact, smiling and treating everyone you talk to as someone whom you like will work far better than conversation that comes across as "wanna dance".

    Asking relatively neutral questions like "so where are you from?" is probably better than asking questions that might be regarded as intrusive. "So what do you work as?" is a bit of a double edged sword as some guys will like answering it and some guys won't.

    It's really a case of trying to get some sort of conversation going - remember us customers are probably also desperately trying to think of something to say, and answering questions is probably easier than trying to think of the questions in the first place.

    As to gaining rapport, the key to that is being a good listener. It enables you to ask follow up questions that show an interest the person you're talking to.

    "So where are you from?"

    "London"

    "I've mainly lived in a small town. So what's it like living in a big city?

    As xoxoGracexoxo says, even though you've had the conversation a lot of times, the average customer won't know your usual conversational gambits, so you can use the same general themes over and over again.

    If you're a interested listener who can ask follow up questions, rapport should follow - and if we customers think you *like* us, we're more likely to buy a dance than if we think you're in "wanna dance" mode.

    Phil.

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