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Thread: Dependent on regulars

  1. #1
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    Default Dependent on regulars

    I'm totally dependent on my regulars and I'm freaked out to go to the club without at least one coming to see me. I feel the same way as if I were to go to a bar alone, like a loner. I know deep down that I can make money without my regulars but I don't know why but I'm scared of not making money and I'm scared I'll be at the club and no one will want to talk with me and I'll be alone. I have only danced about 4 times without regs there and all four nights I was miserable, although I did make decent money. I'm dancing Sat and Sun this weekend alone because I need money for my new apartment. How can I make sure I have a good night both emotionally and financially without any regs coming to see me?

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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I was surprised how easily I gathered regulars when I started dancing. At the time, I put a lot of effort into dancing well on stage and learning the basics of sales and, well, seduction. I would hustle and make a lot of money. Then, I got used to regulars, lost interest in the "masses", and began to feel lost and not worth it to even go in if I didn't know of a regular coming in to see me. I became dependent, and lost confidence in my ability to make money with people I didn't know. I became complacent.

    It wasn't easy, but I-in my mind-kind of started over, as though I was new to dancing again. Sure, I appreciated my regulars, but I forced myself to go through the uncomfortable stages that are had early-on, and I was motivated to learn to be what I think of as an exotic dancer. My motivation to do this was more about the guys I was hurting. Some of my customers weren't dating or moving on in their lives, waiting for me. My excuse inevitably was about my dancing being the hang-up, and that I don't want to date as long as I'm dancing. When one of my regulars offered to pay full tuition and whatever I dance for financially, I saw such a generous and kind person there, and it kind of hit me. Anyway, sure, they have choices, and this business is partly about that fantasy, but I was getting really good at it, if you know what I mean.

    Hopefully you can dance this weekend and re-gain your confidence. Ironically, I make at least the same amount of money on average without my focus on regulars (if they're in the club, I'll give them some time, but no hanging out) and feel a lot happier and good about myself and what I'm doing. Good luck!

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Newmoon I am in the same boat.

    But the other weekend not a single regular came in and I had a great night and it really boosted my confidence to see that I COULD do it without them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Glad to know there are others in the same boat. I'm going to try and think positive this whole weekend!

  5. #5
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I think I've been getting into this slippery little slope. I've colleceted some decent high-spending regulars and I've become a bit too reliant on them for my liking. Let's both strike it rich on our own this weekend!!

    And hey... maybe you'll meet a new one!

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I'm there as well. From Sept. to Dec. last year, I had a handful of really faithful regs and i got lazy and spoiled. One of them, got smart and sort of dropped off the radar in Dec. The others are still around, but they are not coming around as often.

    This week, I am in the process of restoring my confidence as a dancer/hustler. I'm lucky that a few of them have approached me and I do have a tendency to hang a little too long. But, I'm re-learning and getting out there and making some $$$.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

  7. #7
    LoveComesFromWithin
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    i wish i had that many regs to depend on.

  8. #8
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveComesFromWithin View Post
    i wish i had that many regs to depend on.
    Im with ya. Mine have always been very short lived. I dont have the patience for them.

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyLeigh View Post
    Im with ya. Mine have always been very short lived. I dont have the patience for them.
    It does take a LOT of patience on my part. I think I have been losing some of my patience and they can sense it. Hence, they are not around so much, so I got to suck it up and work.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Senior Member Desiree's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I am a little dependent on regulars, but even more dependent on the VIP host to supply them. I also find that many of my better regulars end up visiting less often because they initially thought that I would spend time with them OTC. When they realize that I'm always "busy" and "can't fit time into my extremely hectic schedule to see them even though I really really want to" they stop coming in or come in less often.

    But then again, as long as I always take care of the people who provide me with good custies, I always leave with lots of money. Trying to maintain the same regulars ends up being pretty taxing in many cases.
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I go into work everyday with the unknown. I think it keeps me on my toes. I just remind myself that I've never gone into work and made nothing, or nearly nothing. I just never have (touch wood!). You have to hustle like a hungry wolf without seeming that way. You'll be fine! I'm kind of shit at hustling in pairs, or I'd offer to help...but if you ever want a compatriot or comrade to vent to, I can slip over for the odd shift. I can see how it'd be scary at first...I still feel like a bit of a loner at work sometimes. When I'm having a bad night, and it seems like everyone else is excelling...well, that can be the worst. The best you can do is fake-it-til-you-make it. The weirded-out lonely feeling goes away after awhile. It only takes one good customer to make your night, and you will find him. They're out there!

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    i was very dependent on my regular for about a year.. he would come in once a week and spend anywhere from a g up to 1800... the money has def been diminishing the last six months frm him... i had a big wake up call and i now come in to work ready for the unknown.... u can't always rely on regulars...

  13. #13
    Veteran Member SexyJess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    NewMoon, you are definitely not alone. Since I cut way back on dancing for awhile, I only have one regular right now. On the nights I have to work without him, I freak out and am convinced it will be a terrible night. I have thw rost anxiety over it.... hell, I work tonight without him and I'm scared! It's hard to get back to hustling when you've spent the last two nights being paid to sit on your ass.

    I just give myself a little pep talk and force myself to hustle... and 9 times out of 10, I have a decent night anyway. It can be hard, and I do worry about what's going to happen when he wises up or gets bored (they all do). But just remember, your regulars think you are gorgeous and fun, and new customers will, too.

  14. #14
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I feel the same way. Sometimes i want to just go in and not tell my regular to see how I do, but I feel like thats counterproductive since i can call him any day of the week and hes guaranteed money.

  15. #15
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I used to be this way, but now I prefer to not have regulars. I don't have a set schedule so it makes it easier to avoid them.

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    Veteran Member Arizona_Angel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Dancing in Chicago for so long got me so dependent on regulars that I rarely worked unless I knew one of them was coming in. So when I started touring in 2006 it scared the hell outta me!

    It was so hard walking into a club in an unknown city, unknown girls and management and unknown crowds ~ and I can be super shy. I have no idea if I was worried about rejection or feeling stupid or something completely different, but I kept in mind that "I don't know these people at all"..and "I can stay or go if things get rough for me". I think just KNOWING that I was in charge for once made a world of difference! So, in the end I did great that first night alone due to my new found confidence, and have ever since.

    Being in charge really releases alot of anxieties.

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I have been there. For about 8 months I had it so easy! My time in Vancouver was good to me. I just HAD to remember my previous success. Make sure to look your best. Go the extra mile, for your own confidence!

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Well I danced a double and made $550 after tip out without any regulars meting me... so I guess I really can do it

    Thanks for your support ladies *hugz*

    EDIT: I just recalculated and make that $580 =o) I forgot a $10 stage tip and $20 manager gave me to do a duo with another girl onstage
    Last edited by NewMoon; 02-17-2008 at 09:10 AM.

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    Veteran Member alessandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Congrats!

    I think regulars are nice to have for easy, steady money and a recognizable face, but I try to always work the crowd as well, and not be dependent on any certain person[s] for my income. Some girls I work with are always spending time with their regulars and miss out on the unmarked prey--- the lonely guy who shows up for the night with a fat wallet with no dancer attachments. Those guys I love!

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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    OMG I feel the exact same way. I'll be honest, I've wrote about my crazy in love regular before..I'll admit, I haven't left him alone. The money is just to damn good!!!

    I've come to the point where, if I know he or another man aren't coming in to see me, I just don't go in to work. Money is so crappy in my area...I just mentally can't handle hustling my ass off to make $150 when I'm competing against 65 other dancers and 80% of them are doing alot more than I'm comfy with.

    I'm gonna go get a change of scenrary. I admit, I will be coming back in a week, just to get my "allowance" from my regular. Then I'm off to antother club.







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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    maybe you have to just keep putting yourself "out there" without regulars until you get some positive experiences? it makes sense that you dread going to work knowing they won't be there since you've had negative experiences each time they weren't there. of course you're going to associate the two. you say you've made good money those times, tho, so it isn't allll bad, i guess.

    perhaps remember back to when you first started dancing and remember how you initially made regs?

    also, each night that you work, even if a reg is there, it might help to force yourself to talk to at least one other person that isn't a reg (unless your reg is spending alotta $$$$$ on you to spend the whole night with him). by doing this, you might even establish new regulars. but also, you'll keep yourself ready to face situations where you don't always have regulars. damn how many times did i say regular in this post?!

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    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Regulars are sooo nice to have...but damn they do make me lazy.
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    I used to be like that as well. I guess I still kind of am. But, I always felt good about myself when I didn't have any regulars come in and I still made money. I just really like having a sure thing there for me. Heh, I actually used to psych myself out, thinking things like, "If I lost ALL of my regulars today for some reason, would I still be able to pay the bills?" I to a better paying club so I'm not dependent on them anymore and it's much less stressful.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  24. #24
    glitterbaby
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    Default Re: Dependent on regulars

    Regulars give me anxiety and wear me out mentaly. I try to work on busy nights so i dont have to count on them. I wish i was better at keeping them but they tend to push there limits the more they come around. Then i have to think of reasons why i cant see them otc and why i wont kiss them blah blah... metaly exhausting

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