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Thread: I'm stumped

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    Default I'm stumped

    Well my friends are having a bachelor party at a SC. Big shock right? Well it just so happens that one of my friends works there. I'm pretty sure that she will be working that night. She doesn't know any of my other friends, and they don't know her. I have already tried to get the party moved, but they are dead set on that place. I think that it would be quite wierd to go in there for the party. I have never seen her at work. In my mind, I will be wrong either way. If I don't go, my buddies will be bummed, but if I do, I think that it might be really wierd for me and her. Is there any kind of set protocal for this situation?

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Well gosh. This is not obvious. You could always not go; your buddies evidently don't care about your discomfort; maybe their "bummedness" is not the highest priority.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    I'd say make sure your friends get dances from her. Help her make money!! Second, when she goes onstage, turn around, or go to the bathroom/bar. Make sure your buddies tip her though! If she happens to do a dance at the table you could go to stage and tip, go to bar/bathrm., or just not watch.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Why do you care if your friend is working when you are at this party? Parties are always more fun when more friends are involved! Plus, like kaia said, she would love you forever if you helped her make tons of money! Unless she was your mom or your sister, I don't see a problem here...

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    I'd say make sure your friends get dances from her. Help her make money!! Second, when she goes onstage, turn around, or go to the bathroom/bar. Make sure your buddies tip her though! If she happens to do a dance at the table you could go to stage and tip, go to bar/bathrm., or just not watch.
    I dunno. It just seems wierd. I've never even seen her in a halter top. Well that and I kinda like her. I just don't want to screw up and get dumped into the customer category. I could just not go and tell them to get her and tip her well.


    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyCurlieQ View Post
    Why do you care if your friend is working when you are at this party? Parties are always more fun when more friends are involved! Plus, like kaia said, she would love you forever if you helped her make tons of money! Unless she was your mom or your sister, I don't see a problem here...
    Well we aren't great friends. It just seems wierd though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Well gosh. This is not obvious. You could always not go; your buddies evidently don't care about your discomfort; maybe their "bummedness" is not the highest priority.
    I didn't tell them why I don't want to go there because if I did, that would only make them want to go there more. You know how we as guys are.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    For one, you guys are already friends outside of the club so you won't get in the customer category. Unless of course you start going in there and seeing her on a regular basis, which I highly doubt you will do. Trust me there are ways around seeing her naked. Just follow my suggestions

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Some Guy View Post
    I didn't tell them why I don't want to go there because if I did, that would only make them want to go there more. You know how we as guys are.
    No, I don't. I would expect my guy friends to respect my wishes on the matter - and, incidentally, they would. I would personally be incensed if one of my guy friends showed up at my work either against my wishes or without asking me first (and I would personally say no - if she is okay with it, then you have no problem, unless you are uncomfortable). If your friends want your company, they can go to a different a bar. If they want "to be how guys are" (however that is) more than they want your company... well, then, you miss one party.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    For one, you guys are already friends outside of the club so you won't get in the customer category. Unless of course you start going in there and seeing her on a regular basis, which I highly doubt you will do. Trust me there are ways around seeing her naked. Just follow my suggestions
    Well thank you. I guess there are posatives too. I can make sure that they wear khaki pants, tip well, and pay for her time. This is why I like this place. Y'all are a great help.

    Thank you!

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    No, I don't. I would expect my guy friends to respect my wishes on the matter - and, incidentally, they would. I would personally be incensed if one of my guy friends showed up at my work either against my wishes or without asking me first (and I would personally say no - if she is okay with it, then you have no problem, unless you are uncomfortable). If your friends want your company, they can go to a different a bar. If they want "to be how guys are" (however that is) more than they want your company... well, then, you miss one party.
    Well we are a bumch of alpha military types. That doesn't make it right, but we have very little, if any, reguard for each others feelings. I will make sure to ask her what she thinks first.

    Again,

    Thank you very much.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Dude I think you may be suprised that it's not as uncomfortable as you think it expect it to be

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    WHy not ask her about how she feels about it before you go? Explain the situation and if shes uncomfortable with you seeing her naked...make sure you are in the bathroom or getting a dance or something when shes on stage..its only a cpl songs every hour or so...yu can make yourself scarce for 10 minutes or so if she doesnt want you to see her like that(or if you dont want to see her like that)

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Some Guy View Post
    I think that it would be quite wierd to go in there for the party. I have never seen her at work...If I don't go, my buddies will be bummed, but if I do, I think that it might be really wierd for me and her.
    I can understand. I'm friends with several dancers inside and outside of work - and me taking any notice of their nudity when they're at work is a definate no-no.

    I met them at work first, so was a customer before I was a friend. If you've never seen her dancing, your situation is a bit different to mine. I'd give good odds she won't want you to see her working.

    I'd be up front with her - including the fact that you/she might be uncomfortable with the situation - and if she says no *don't go*.

    I think frankly she'll feel very uneasy with you there - and I think you'll both find your relationship will irrevocably change if you see her naked and at work. At the moment you're the guy who knows she's a dancer and is cool with it. If you go to where she works, she won't be able to help seeing you through slightly different eyes.

    I wouldn't tell your friends you know a stripper - I've certainly never told my more conventional friends I have several dancers as friends. Reason for that is the stereotypical reaction many guys have towards strippers. Best to keep quiet about it.

    You're in a difficult situation. I think your best solution might be to develop a diplomatic illness.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post

    I think frankly she'll feel very uneasy with you there - and I think you'll both find your relationship will irrevocably change if you see her naked and at work. At the moment you're the guy who knows she's a dancer and is cool with it. If you go to where she works, she won't be able to help seeing you through slightly different eyes.

    I wouldn't tell your friends you know a stripper - I've certainly never told my more conventional friends I have several dancers as friends. Reason for that is the stereotypical reaction many guys have towards strippers. Best to keep quiet about it.
    See, that is what I want to avoid. I don't want to see her differently. I know that most of the women want to keep the sc life seperate from the real life.

    I don't think that I am going to go. I will definatly say, "Hey, I heard that ******* is totally awesome! You should buy alot of dances and VIP's from her!"

    I am her friend, and I just don't want it to seem like I am taking advantage of the situation. Thank you all for the advice.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    WHy not ask her about how she feels about it before you go? Explain the situation and if shes uncomfortable with you seeing her naked...make sure you are in the bathroom or getting a dance or something when shes on stage..its only a cpl songs every hour or so...yu can make yourself scarce for 10 minutes or so if she doesnt want you to see her like that(or if you dont want to see her like that)
    I think that if I did that, I'd be no fun. I'd be more concerned with, "where is she? I have to avoid her." I'm pretty sure that she'd be a little up tight as well. I think that it is better that I get a last second virus and leave the waters untested.

    I mean, I'm going to be at the table too, and if I try to get my friends to spend mad money on her, she will be there for a while. It just seems like a crappy situation to me. I think I'll be sitting this one out.

    Again, thank you.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Some Guy View Post
    I think that if I did that, I'd be no fun. I'd be more concerned with, "where is she? I have to avoid her." I'm pretty sure that she'd be a little up tight as well. I think that it is better that I get a last second virus and leave the waters untested.

    I mean, I'm going to be at the table too, and if I try to get my friends to spend mad money on her, she will be there for a while. It just seems like a crappy situation to me. I think I'll be sitting this one out.

    Again, thank you.
    I dont think you'd have to avoid her...just not look when shes on stage. You will hear her called to stage...its not that big a deal. Unless of course she doesnt want you there at all. It depends. I never mind when my friends come in...but everyone is differant

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Some Guy View Post
    I don't think that I am going to go. I will definatly say, "Hey, I heard that ******* is totally awesome! You should buy alot of dances and VIP's from her!" .
    Bad idea - that way your mates will find out you know a dancer. You'll spend the next couple of years being bugged by questions about her.

    And military guys being military guys, they'll spend the entire night making smart arse remarks to your friend - not good.

    I'd tell her why you're *not* going - I think you'll find you've gone up several notches in her estimation. And I'd tell her that there will be a bunch of guys coming in that she could earn good money from. She'll probably take the opportunity without letting on why she knows. (Or she may opt to stay away from them).

    Read the threads on this site - there are an awful lot of threads from dancers complaining that it's difficult to met guys outside of work who will treat them with respect when they find out how they earn a living.

    I suspect the dancer you know is happy to have found a guy who'll ignore her job and will just treat her like a friend. No need to change that situation.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Pan Dah View Post
    This may be obvious, but just to be sure - You do know enough about her job to know that ******* is her stage name, right?
    haha. Yes I know her stage name.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    Bad idea - that way your mates will find out you know a dancer. You'll spend the next couple of years being bugged by questions about her.

    And military guys being military guys, they'll spend the entire night making smart arse remarks to your friend - not good.

    I'd tell her why you're *not* going - I think you'll find you've gone up several notches in her estimation. And I'd tell her that there will be a bunch of guys coming in that she could earn good money from. She'll probably take the opportunity without letting on why she knows. (Or she may opt to stay away from them).

    Read the threads on this site - there are an awful lot of threads from dancers complaining that it's difficult to met guys outside of work who will treat them with respect when they find out how they earn a living.

    I suspect the dancer you know is happy to have found a guy who'll ignore her job and will just treat her like a friend. No need to change that situation.

    Phil.
    I didn't think of it like that. Yeah I will be sure to tell her and not them. I couldn't care less whether or not they give me a hard time, but I wouldn't want them to give HER a hard time. You're a smart guy Phil.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    I dont think you'd have to avoid her...just not look when shes on stage. You will hear her called to stage...its not that big a deal.
    Cameron,

    Several problems here - first, he's going to have his mates wondering why he's *not* looking.

    Second, I think he's going to feel uncomfortable just being there while she's working. Guys will be guys, and it may be no fun hearing his mates discuss her anatomy.

    And third, I think that fact that he's been there while she's working will change their relationship. There will always be the nagging voice asking her (a) did he look and (b) will he view me differently now he's seen me working?

    As you said, everyone's different - you may be relaxed about friends being in the club, but my experience is that many other dancers have problems with it.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Quote Originally Posted by Pan Dah View Post
    There are ways to make point subtly. I'd say "I was there a while ago" rather than "I've heard", but that choice depends on what is more realistic in your case. Like, I don't have a bunch of friends who spend lots of their time comparing the relative merits of individual strippers, but his base may be different.

    Also, I'd ask my friend for a couple of (stage) names of dancers she likes and works well with, so I could say I had a good time with Jenny, Velvet and Britt, diffusing the laser sharp pointer a bit. With an entire group, the extra names won't hurt her earnings.

    Good idea! That way his friend still makes money.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    So I talked to her and we agreed that I will not be going. But her and three of her friends will be recommended. Thank all of you very much. All of you on this board are quite awesome! I wish that I could just go around the country and visit all of you and just make it rain on the stage, but I can't get that much time off.

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    never mind...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    awww i love a happy ending... (not like that you pervs)
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    Some Guy, you did alright until your last post. I mean, you came across as a really sensitive guy. Now you are trying to get the women here to tell you their locations so you can money shower and otherwise perv on them

    OK, kidding on that but seriously, dude, I think it's weird that you stressed over it. I mean, she takes off her clothes on stage for whoever happens to walk in the door. By most counts that makes her not shy and likely pretty thick skinned. Your attendance would probably help her money tremendously. I can see you not going stage side for T&A but not attending at all?

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    ^^^
    FBR - this is not a girl he met in a stripclub and is all "does she like me?" This is someone with whom he is friends outside. While some dancers would probably not blink at friends coming into the club; honestly I think it is kind of an even split. I have a thick skin and if one of my friends came to my club all "what? It's no big deal" I would be all "where the hell is your judgment, you big idiot?"
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: I'm stumped

    ^^ Jenny, really, I did get that they were regular friends. And I know how you feel about friends coming to your club without permission. Considering the friendship between the OP and the dancer/friend I agree asking was wise. And maybe she said no, not because she cared but because he was being strange about the whole thing. But I did find it lame that he was so torn up emotionally about just the thought of seeing her tits. I mean, was he worried that if he got a glimpse of her niblets suddenly he could no longer be friends with her because now he wants to fuck her? I'm asking rhetorically since obviously you cannot speak for him.

    FBR
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